Parents, this is for students. People sometimes say "just get over it" but this sentiment is wildly misleading, and does not help students learn what they need to learn in order to EFFECTIVELY deal with problems. This video explores how to better look at difficulties so students can have more effective tools to process. Video Transcript: Click here to download the transcript PDF. You see that right there? That's a big mountain. Can you imagine getting over that thing? Let me … [Read more...]
Am I A Good Parent?
Please CLICK above to share. Parents, obviously there's no instruction book for how to help your child. And sometimes children are legitimately difficult to help effectively. When parents come to me, they're often at their wits end and at a loss. This video explores this a bit, but my main message here is that you are not alone. Not even a little bit. A larger and larger proportion os students are neurodiverse, outside-the-box, atypical learners and thinkers. More and more kids are not … [Read more...]
Anxiety and Kids [Guest post]
This is the first time I have had a guest post. I am extremely picky about things like that, but I've wanted Jen to do a post for me for a long time because she is really good at her work! So, I invited Boulder somatic psychotherapist, Jennifer Delaney, MA, NCC to write a guest post specifically about anxiety, because over the years I have seen that it is a growing problem for our youth. I've witnessed more and more kids go to residential treatment centers for anxiety and other emotional … [Read more...]
“He threw a fit this morning about the school day being so long”
I recently received the following note: "My 8 year old is going through the dip. He threw a fit this morning about the school day being so long. He did stuff with tears and a snail’s pace as he finished getting ready for school which most likely made him late. While this doesn’t necessarily affect his grades, I know that it’s going to be a season of dragging him to school until Christmas break. What can I do to help his attitude toward the length of the school day improve? It takes … [Read more...]
An open letter to dads
Dear Dads, As you know, I work with all sorts of students; middle school, high school, and college students, boys and girls both. To date, I've literally worked with hundreds of students, and I've noticed some pretty cool patterns. As I get to know my clients they begin to tell me about their lives, and I want to share one very interesting pattern that I've seen over and over: Across the board, kids want much more Dad time. They often tell me that they feel like their fathers don't have … [Read more...]
The Most Important Thing of All
The Most Important Thing in the World... It's not grades, SAT scores, college readiness. It's not staying out of trouble, perfection, getting a job. It's not extra curricular, resumes, letters of recommendation. It's not "out there" anywhere. It's so easy to get lost in the other stuff, but it's right here and now. The most important thing is quality time with the people you care about. Connecting with our children. Playing with them. Laughter, fun, smiling freely, joy, gratitude, … [Read more...]
The magic of meditation, a true story
I have practiced various forms of meditation for many years and I began to experiment with it after I was in a coma that nearly killed me. After the coma, I began having panic and anxiety attacks that grew in frequency and intensity. This happened because during the coma, my lungs shut down, I couldn't breathe, so I was on a respirator for 9 days. My brain was storing important information about how dangerous it was to "lose my breath". My anxiety was part of how my brain and body were trying … [Read more...]
Winter Break 101 (Video)
It's break. Everyone's more than ready to get away from the daily grind... Students, teachers, parents, admin. You deserve this break. In fact, you need it. This time is about your needs. You need time to recharge, relax, revive, rejuvenate. Self-care is critical, and is not selfish. If fact it's one of the most unselfish things you can do. Here are some ideas: 1. Chill. Don't think about school. Come up for air. Relax. Unwind. Rejuvenate. Recharge. Let go of the agenda mindset. 2. … [Read more...]
Gratitude
It's November, Gratitude Month. A time to go inward and reflect on the things that matter most and those things we're thankful for. A focus on gratitude helps us to be in a state of abundance rather than scarcity. Benefits As it turns out, a practice of regular gratitude is good for you. People who have a regular practice have healthier relationships, happier memories, greater self-esteem, more energy, increase their income, are sick less often, are less depressed, sleep better, exercise more, … [Read more...]
Real stories
I received this email last week and it articulated something I've heard countless times and in countless ways. Here's a quote from it: "My ex was a total asshole to my Aspie and it's infuriating that he can't understand his own son, nor does he want to. There's "that" as part of this journey... fighting against educators, the "public" when we go places, and our own freaking spouses and families... Grrrrrrrr. My child's soul got hurt. Ok, on a positive note, my son called me after it happened … [Read more...]
The homestretch
There's a lot going on at end of the school year: Spring fever diverts energy, everyone's getting excited for summer. Although standardized testing is pretty much over, teachers are now stressed about "covering" the remaining content for the year. There is often a lot of top-down pressure making it worse. Students who are in the swimming-up-stream cycle are burnt out, resistant, fading. Parents are scrambling to help their kids pull it together as the red flags pop up, often too late. A few … [Read more...]
Clean Slate
New semester = clean slate. I work with a lot of students right before a semester begins so they can get a strong start. From grade school to grad school, here's what I do with many students: Backpack Empty it, clean it out. Ask what they use each pocket for. This raises awareness that they are choosing "homes" for things such as books, supplies, folders, money, etc. I don't necessarily care where they put things, I care that they have intentionally chosen the place, because it's all about … [Read more...]
"I'm not smart."
I was recently working with a high school sophomore. Noting her strengths, I gave her a genuine compliment about her intelligence and ability to come up with uniquely creative solutions and viewpoints. She looked at me and said, "but I'm not smart. I get bad grades." My eyes burst wide and I said emphatically, "what do grades have to do with anything? You're not your grades and you are very smart." It's a crime when kids feel this way. Grades are tiny, blurry snapshots, not big pictures. … [Read more...]
“Runnin’ Hot” How to work with Stress in School
School is an emotional experience For many students, school is an especially emotional experience. This is critical to remember during transitions. The students I work with are often sensitive to begin with. Their baseline of stress is already a bit high and they can be easily triggered, therefore experiences often feel more intense than they might really be. These students are often sensitive to other distracting stimulus, which further complicates matters: sounds, touch, light, color, … [Read more...]