Summer Reading Blues

Hey, what’s up, parents?

Your kid has the summer reading blues.

I know that was cheesy, but whatever — I’m kind of cheesy sometimes.

The “summer reading blues” is actually a very serious topic. I got a very serious email, and I’ve received emails like this before. This one is from Kate.

Kate, thank you for your email. I appreciate it.

You asked whether I have any blog posts or discussions about navigating the cluster known as summer reading. First of all, I think I actually did write something about this, and if so, I’ll link it in the blog post on my website. So if you’re watching this on YouTube, click the blog link, and I’ll include it there.

You wrote:

“We’ve had a great summer, and now there are tears and ‘I hate school’ comments and craziness related to summer reading. I’m so frustrated. Help!”

So I’m going to talk to you a little bit about the summer reading blues. I have twelve things I want to discuss. Number twelve is the most important one, and I’ll get to that after the first eleven.

1. Be Proactive

Kate, and parents who are going through similar struggles with summer reading:

I take issue with some summer homework and reading assignments—not because I don’t think they’re valuable. Reading is one of the most valuable things in the world.

The problem is that kids are being forced to do this during their break. If you have a child who loves reading, it’s no problem. But if you have a resistant reader, it’s a completely different story. Sometimes it loses sight of the entire point of reading, which is to enjoy it and find value in it.

If you’re dealing with this issue, be proactive. Start early in the summer and establish a routine.

Obviously, this doesn’t help you now, Kate. It’s too late for that this year. But in the future, start at the beginning of summer. Get buy-in and ownership from your child. Create a reading schedule and build a routine.

Will they follow it perfectly every time? Of course not. There will be trips, busy days, and moments when it’s just not worth the fight.

Still, try your best to create a routine. Put it somewhere visible. Out of sight often means out of mind.

The goal is to remove the daily decision-making process.

Instead of asking, “Are you going to read today?” the decision was already made back in May.

It’s Wednesday. It’s 10:00 a.m. Reading time is from 10:00 to 11:00. That’s simply what happens.

2. Hold Space for Their Feelings

Your child says, “I hate it.”

That’s a strong statement.

When a child says they hate something, they’re having an emotional experience.

Don’t try to convince them they’re wrong. Don’t lecture them. Don’t try to logic them out of their feelings.

Instead, hold space for them.

Say:

“Tell me more about that.”

“What do you mean when you say you hate it?”

Help them feel heard, understood, and seen.

You don’t want them to stay stuck in that feeling forever, but instead of telling them how they should feel, help them reframe things on their own.

Ask:

“What do you like about school?”

Tell stories from your own life.

Stories are powerful. Tell them about a time when you hated something and later realized there was more to the picture than you initially saw.

You can use visual examples too—like the classic image of a glass that’s half full versus half empty.

The goal isn’t to convince them. The goal is to create enough emotional safety for them to reframe things themselves.

3. Understand That Hate Is a Physical Feeling

Hate is a somatic experience.

It’s something that happens in the body.

When your child says, “I hate reading,” their stomach may tighten. Their shoulders may tense. Their jaw may clench. Their hands may get sweaty.

We all experience stress differently.

Learning about body awareness, somatic therapies, EMDR, brain spotting, and similar approaches can help you understand what’s happening.

Our culture generally doesn’t teach good body awareness.

Most people can say, “I hate this,” but if you ask, “Where do you feel that in your body?” they often don’t know.

Helping children identify what’s happening physically separates them from the story they’re telling themselves.

4. Examine the Story Behind the Feeling

Why does the body react?

Because there’s a story.

The child has a narrative running through their mind.

“I hate reading” is usually not actually about reading.

It may mean:

• Reading makes me feel stupid.

• Reading makes me feel bored.

• Reading feels forced.

• Reading feels uncomfortable.

• Reading makes me feel trapped.

The story creates a feeling of threat.

When that happens, the amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—responds as if danger is real.

The nervous system activates.

The child enters a cycle:

Story → Anxiety → Reinforced Story → More Anxiety

If that cycle isn’t interrupted, children can become trapped in patterns of anxiety and avoidance.

That’s why reframing the narrative matters.

Ask:

• What do you appreciate about school?

• What are you grateful for?

• What’s actually good about this?

The nervous system may resist these questions at first. That’s okay.

This is a practice, not a quick fix.

Modeling Matters

I’m actually going to skip ahead for a moment.

Parents, your children watch how you respond to challenges.

If you’re constantly focusing on what’s wrong, they learn to do the same.

If you model resilience, gratitude, and healthy reframing, they learn that too.

Most human brains naturally focus on negative things. That’s normal.

But it’s worth asking:

“What am I modeling for my child?”

5. Use Wait Time

When your child says:

“I hate reading.”

Don’t immediately jump in with advice.

Pause.

Wait.

Allow silence.

Most adults rush to fill the space.

But if you wait long enough, children often reveal what’s underneath the first statement.

The first layer is often:

“I hate reading.”

The second layer might be:

“I feel stupid when I read.”

Or:

“I’m afraid I’ll fail.”

Give them room to get there.

6. Read With Them

This applies to dads too.

Many of my followers are moms, but dads—read with your kids.

Sit down beside them.

Even middle school and high school students can benefit from this.

Read together.

Make it enjoyable.

Create a cozy environment.

Bring snacks.

Have conversations about the story.

Help them gain momentum.

Many struggling readers rush through the first few chapters without truly absorbing them.

Reading together helps them engage with the story.

7. Read Alongside Them

This is different from reading with them.

Read your own book while they read theirs.

Show them that reading is something you personally value.

If you tell them to read while you scroll on your phone, the message is mixed.

But if they regularly see you reading for enjoyment, you’re modeling the importance of reading.

8. Ask: “What Would It Take?”

This is one of my favorite questions.

Ask:

“What would it take for you to enjoy reading more?”

“What would it take for you to start this chapter?”

“What would it take for reading to feel less frustrating?”

It’s a powerful way to shift ownership back to the child.

9. Chunk It Down

Many children hate reading because it feels overwhelming.

A 200-page book can seem enormous.

When something feels too big, the nervous system interprets it as a threat.

So make it smaller.

Break it down by task or by time.

Instead of:

“Read the whole book.”

Try:

“Read one chapter.”

If that’s too much:

“Read one page.”

If that’s too much:

“Read one paragraph.”

Start wherever success becomes possible.

The same applies to time.

An hour may feel impossible.

Try fifteen minutes.

Five minutes.

Three minutes.

One minute.

The goal is to reduce overwhelm.

10. Parents Need Self-Regulation Too

Kate, you said:

“I’m so frustrated.”

I hear you.

But make sure you’re regulating your own nervous system.

If you’re activated and your child is activated, you’re essentially having one nervous system argue with another nervous system.

That rarely works.

Take care of yourself.

Journal.

Exercise.

Meditate.

Sleep well.

Practice whatever helps you stay grounded.

A regulated parent is much more effective than a frustrated one.

11. Make Executive Decisions

Sometimes parents have to make executive decisions.

Pick your battles.

Maybe the assigned book isn’t working.

Maybe there’s another book your child would actually read.

Maybe watching the movie adaptation first would spark interest.

Maybe reading magazine articles or online content would be a better stepping stone.

The goal is to help them read—not necessarily to force a particular book at all costs.

12. The Most Important Thing: Their Relationship With Reading

This is the big one.

Everything comes back to your child’s relationship with reading.

When a child says:

“I hate reading.”

That’s a relationship problem.

Imagine someone saying:

“I hate that person.”

They don’t want to spend time with that person.

That’s exactly what’s happening with reading.

Your goal is to help your child build a healthy relationship with reading.

You want them to:

• Find value in it.

• Enjoy it.

• Appreciate it.

• Choose it.

Too often, we focus only on skills.

But if a child genuinely enjoys reading, the skills usually follow.

I don’t care how slowly they read.

I don’t care if they’re imperfect readers.

If they love reading, they’ll continue practicing for the rest of their lives.

And reading opens doors.

Books contain knowledge, careers, opportunities, ideas, and solutions.

Reading allows us to learn anything we want to learn.

The secrets of the world are sitting inside books.

So have that conversation with your child.

Ask:

“What would it take for you to have a better relationship with reading?”

“How can I support you?”

“How can I help?”

Because ultimately, that’s the real goal.

Not finishing a summer assignment.

Not checking a box.

Building a lifelong relationship with reading.

That’s the hardest part, but it’s also the most important.

All the other tips matter, but they’re really supporting this one central idea.

I hope this helps with the summer reading blues.

I know I went pretty deep on this topic, but I wanted to share these thoughts for you, Kate, and for all the parents and teachers listening.

Sorry if my brain feels a little fried today.

I hope that as the school year begins, you’re able to support reading in a way that creates positive, healthy experiences for your child.

Because when children develop a happy, healthy, secure relationship with reading, they gain a tool that can serve them for the rest of their lives.

All right, guys.

Have a great day.