Not So Obvious ADHD Tip: Replying to Emails

Watch Jeff and I discuss the topic of replying to emails. Jeff Copper is an ADHD coach and host of Attention Talk Video which is part of the Attention Talk Network, http://www.attentiontalknetwork.com.

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Video Transcript: Click here to download the transcript PDF.

Jeff Copper:Welcome, everybody to this edition of Attention Talk Video. I’m your host, ADHD and attention coach Jeff Copper. And today we’re here with Seth Perler. I’m impressed with Seth, he’s an individual that I run into work with a little bit. And he responds to emails in a very unique way. Most people when they get an email, they just hit a reply. Seth, you do things a little bit differently. Tell us about how you came to do what you do.

Seth Perler: Yeah, a lot of times when I respond to an email, I will respond with a Loom, which is a quick video that shows up in the email. And the reason I do this is because it’s easier for me on multiple levels. One, it’s easier on me timewise. So I am somebody with ADHD, I have a lot going on, I’m in a hurry and writing out an email takes me a long time. Here, I can just open it up, click record, can have a mic or not. And I can say, “Hey, what’s up, Jeff, just want to bounce something off you yada, yada, yada,” and then I can hit end on it. And it gives me the link right away, you don’t have to upload it, download it, nothing. I just grabbed the link, I like how quick that is. I can just put the link in an email, shoot it off to somebody, and then they get it. Now not only that, but they also get my energy. So my mood or whatever, nothing gets lost in translation, like what often happens in text or email. It really comes through, you can see what I’m saying. And the other thing is, is that I can show things on those emails, that’s another advantage that I like. I’m a very visual person. So if I’m communicating with someone, I can also show them that thing. And then the last thing I can do is I can show them a screen share. So I can actually show them something that I saw in my inbox or whatever, and explain something to them very clearly, quickly, easily get on with my day.

Jeff Copper: Do you have a lot of people push back on that and get frustrated and try to force you to do emails? Or are people for the most part accepting.

Seth Perler: No, I’ve had maybe a couple. And I think one problem that some people have had is that they can’t watch it if they’re in a group setting. So depending on where they are, they can open their phone or their device and watch it or make noise. So that might be an issue, depending on the situation. But that’s really about it. And some people do like to read more than video, but you can’t please everybody and I like video and audio.

Jeff Copper: So one of the things I like is that, you know, I’ve heard 30% of communication is in the written word, the rest of it is nonverbal communication. So tone, if you’re talking you sound kind of confused and stuff, a lot that kind of comes through. The visual things that you’re doing can illustrate what’s going on, particularly if you have something that you’re confused about or need some help in. And the thing about that stuff that I really want to draw out is you’re doing it your way, you’re trying to communicate in a way that’s efficient and productive for your way, and you’re not going to meet everybody’s needs. But I asked the question, do you get a lot of pushback, because I’m sure that you do. But I find people are always surprised they get less pushback than what they think. And their productivity game that they get from that is a big boost for them. And I’m always encouraging people, with ADHD to do it their way, not the way that they think they’re supposed to do it. And the reason I wanted to have you on is it seems like this really works for you. It’s been a godsend, am I misrepresenting that?

Seth Perler: No, you’re right. And you know, Jeff, it’s taken me years and years and years to figure out what my way is, but also to own it. Because we are often told by family, friends, society, culture, that there is a way to do things and don’t push outside the box too hard. But the more I get more comfortable with who I am and own it, this is me. And if you don’t like it, that’s okay. Tell me. But yeah, so there’s something. I’m glad you said that because there’s something called imposter syndrome. And we all have imposter syndrome at different times. And it’s a huge hurdle for us to overcome as we become adults and as we’re working with ADHD. I mean, if you have people who are watching who were adults who were just diagnosed, you know that there’s a lot of unlearning and rethinking our stories about how things work. But that imposter syndrome, we’re always kind of questioning ourselves. And yeah, no, I think we got to figure out our own ways to do things. You know, if you’re on video, I got guitars behind me, and I run an executive function summit for ADHD. These have nothing to do with that. But that’s me. And I don’t really care what people think about that anymore. And I never get complaints on that. But that fear that you’re talking about those complaints is legitimate, but in terms of it’s a fear that we have, but it’s not necessarily as legitimate in terms of the reality of the reaction of people. And if it is that reality, then maybe those aren’t people we need to be involved with or communicating on that level with. Or we can accommodate them if that’s appropriate.

Jeff Copper: Yeah, I just really wrap this up. If you’re listening to this, you have ADHD and you’re looking for information and Seth’s telling you his story, I’ll tell you my story. When I got into this business, everybody said, I got to write a book or I got to write a blog. And writing this horrific for me. So I started Attention Talk Radio out of just necessity. Little did I know, I get incredible education. And then I got into the video because I wanted an extra library. So this has been a godsend to me. And the people that were writing blogs, you know, 10 years ago, when I started all this kind of stuff, you know, they’re getting five or six, maybe 10 hits. Now I’m getting what, 10-15,000 downloads on my radio show. And I forget how many use of this. So I did it my way. Jessica McCabe at How To ADD, she certainly does some. Originally, her YouTube channel was a place for her to put her own structures and systems because she forgot about it. So really, what I want to communicate through this video is if you do it your way, often it can be very effective and even more effective and Seth’s a great example of what he’s learned to do with it. So with that, Seth, any last things to add before we wrap it up?

Seth Perler: No, I think you’re spot on And I guess the last thing that I do want to wrap up with is that when you do it your way, and you do get pushed back, sometimes it takes a while to get good at even doing it your way. Don’t stop. Jeff, like we got on this call and it’s like, boom, boom, boom, Jeff has it down to a science now. I guarantee you it took him weeks or months to get to that point, he got good by doing it. He didn’t get all his ducks in a row first and then do it. He did it messy, and that’s what I do. And I’m sure that’s what Jessica does. We do it messy first and then we become good at it. And that patience is critical for people with ADHD is to chill out. Be patient with yourself. You’ve got this keep persisting. You will master it.

Jeff Copper: Yep. I like to let the solution reveal itself to you. Don’t try to force it just be who you are. So with that, Seth, I appreciate it. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Subscribe to our channel by hitting subscription and leave a comment. Love to hear your thoughts, I know. I’ll be commenting on them. I’ll send them to Seth so he can make some comments. So hope you’ve enjoyed it.