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The old patterns HAVE NOT CHANGED. Still unrealistic with the time/energy needed to manage the work. Plus distractions of summer!
Don’t believe the story, the nervous system is simply resistant, so what to do about it? Don’t enable, learned helplessness. Set firm, clear boundaries.
The same principles work. Do this:
- Frontload everything you can, it makes things easier.
- Keep using the planners to track details, not your brain.
- Block reasonable focus times. Not daily tiny blocks, they don’t work.
- Ask the teacher for help/tips to success, be early, connect.
- Reorganize regularly.
- Check portal often, easy link.
- Persist. 1%. Millimeters. Baby step. Bite-sized. It’s about telling the nervous system that there is no reason to be overwhelmed. It’s about quieting emotional resistance.
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Re7 summer school tips, if you’re a parent and you have middle school or high school or who is in summer school, you’re going to want to listen to this and if you are a student in summer school, pretty cool that you’re listening to this. All right, here is the first thing I am going to give you $0.07. But let me give you a little bit of background about this if your child is in summer school. Listen. The pattern has not changed parents don’t just believe that if the pattern has changed the pattern is going to be exactly the same if your child got behind during the school year if they spend a semester swimming Upstream because they’re behind on their work if they’re stressed out about their work or they avoid their work and if there tend to be unrealistic about the amount of time and energy that’s required in order to get them what needs to be done. This has not changed. Okay, just another in summer school just because they’re saying look Mom looked at I got it leave me alone. Get off my back. I’m doing my work. I promise you I swear I’m doing everything I need to be doing look that fact is there if they weren’t realistic during the school year what makes you think they’re going to be realistic now, so you students if you’re watching this what makes you think you’re going to be realistic now, this is not a put-down any any way shape or form its to say be realistic and get your stuff done get done with this class be done with it and do it. Well, okay. So this has not changed since it has not changed since the pattern is the same you have to work with a pattern. You have to live in the solution not live in the problem. So now one of the problems is that they’re just our summertime distractions. It is hard to be able to do anything during the summer because it is so nice outside people want to get outside and do stuff. So that’s something right there 2nd and with another thing to think about is that your child is living in a story and they’re going to tell you the stories know I got to leave me alone. I promise I swear I’m getting everything done. I’m on top of it. Just stop bugging me. Okay, all that is is it they’re nervous system feeling resistance. They don’t feel like doing what needs to be done. It’s not fun. It’s not a preferable activity so that the nervous system has that resistance and the Brain just sometimes can’t override the nervous system the part of the brain that has the truth. Story that says all I got a buckle down I got to spend time on the it’s just not coming through. So don’t trust that story. There’s no reason to believe it’s any different if that’s how it was during the school year again is not a put-down. You just got to be realistic if you want to be able to help your kid. So what you don’t want to do is you don’t want to enable your child and you don’t want to teach your child learned helplessness. You want to set firm clear boundaries and help them get through this thing for their own long-term well-being, even though in the short-term they want to be outside playing or playing video games or whatever it is. So here we got this is seven things. These are the seven things to do at the exact same principles that ate each during the school year. These are seven things you can do right now if your child is in summer school one front load everything your child from school take the syllabus sit down with your child. If you’re the student look at your syllabus front load everything into your planner or your online calendar or your agenda get it all out there go through and see what you have to do in. Is it in your calendar so that it’s there and you only get one from you can get a feel for what you have to do during the entire semester front load front load problem. Number one is to front load that is to get repaired. Now, you don’t only front load with the planner. You also front load by prepping your folders and it was summertime. You might think I don’t need folders. I don’t need as much organization. This is not true. Do not listen to your story. When you think that you absolutely positively need some level of organization during the summer. You need to stay good study places great place to study and that’s where it’s quiet or you can focus you need to organize folders is the number one wants to front load number two with the planner you’re going to front of the planner, but your child has to use a planner during the summer to or calendar or an agenda or some sort of system to remind them of what needs to be done. You do if you’re the student you do not want to depend on this to remember the details. There is no reason ever to depend on your brain to remember That’s what they’ve done is for. I know I know I know you resisted. You don’t feel like using calendar. You think you got it up here. You really don’t need it. You’re different know you’re not be honest with yourself. You got to use the plan or even during summer. You have to track these things. If you don’t get them done in the same pattern, it’s going to happen to me in the last week of summer school near me swimming Upstream trying to finish 17 assignments that you should have done a long time ago. Everybody’s going to be stressed out. So use the plan or even during the summer number three. I want you to block out time to study that are large blocks do not think that you were going to read one chapter a day. Do not think that you’re going to do one page of homework a day. It’s ridiculous. If you’re not that type of person during the school year what makes you think that you’re going to be the type of person during the summer is going to do a little bit everyday. What I suggest you do is go to your summer school classes and block out large blocks of time. So you’re going to block out anywhere from 1 to 3 hours then give me a chill time where your wheel a Sitting at the kitchen table. Ask whatever focusing on your work with no distractions. You want to block out large box Time often times people will tell you just do a little bit each day. Just read a chapter. They just do work no for you for the students. I work with for students who struggle with executive function. It does not work. You will be swimming Upstream at the end and you’ll be a very stressed out if you do it that way so large blocks every other day or whatever for a few days weeks and that’s when you’re going to focus on large quantities of work. That’s what works with my students have been doing this long time trusting number or connect with your teacher get to know that have a developer of a friendly relationship with them find out who they are and ask them hate each. What can I do to be successful in your class? What are your secrets? What tips you have? They will tell you you is one of the biggest things I teach my students. You just need to build this relationship and be early to class B on time. Stay late a couple minutes. Say hi to hey, thanks. Hope you’re having a great day. See you later. Connect a little bit helps that goes a long way number 5 reorganize your stuff regularly. Don’t just Jammin in your bag or your backpack or whatever reorganize all your papers and stuff right now to get rid of what you don’t need. You have to spend time doing this. It doesn’t happen. If the parents feel free to help your child with the organization. Let them worry about the learning during summer right now. If you want to help them for the organization of their papers on a daily or every other day basis that’s totally fine. You’re not enabling them. He’ll have them be focusing on the work. If you want to have some of the organization and planning that’s totally fine number 6 check the portal if your online class if your class has an online portal be checking it regularly why because people don’t check it and then they open up one day and they find out that there are 15 things missing there a bunch of incomplete there bunch of zeros. So if it has a portal Bookmark at make it very very very easy to find and check it. And finally number 7. Persist do the one percent right talk about the 1% rule just didn’t mind it gets resistant because it gets overwhelmed with and how I’m stract all the work. It’s okay. So you have to work with the mind. This is an emotional issue. You have to tell your emotional stuff. You have to tell your nervous system that you are safe believe it or not. This is what you’re contending with his is the nervous system the brain and a sense of safety. Okay. So you want to work with the emotion in the way that you do that you take this big giant massive stuff all I don’t feel like doing that homework. It feels too big and you have to shrink it down for 6% number seven is be persistent go 1% at a time. Not 50% about 100% just do one little percent more than you normally would have moved 1 mm for ra take the baby stuff makeup bite-sized a journey of a Thousand Miles begins with one step. How do you eat an elephant one bite at a time you the brain has to be able to construct. Flight the work and if you’re sitting there saying I’ll I don’t feel like doing this what you probably are. You have to make it not feel so daunting make it feel smaller. Okay, I can do three problems right now. Okay, I can work for 5 minutes right now. Maybe not an hour with me 5 minutes, even though you might intend to work an hour or 3 hours. You got to get started the brain have to perceive it as a small bites that may seem contradictory with what I said before about the Wang Chung. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m speaking specifically about getting started for sister. Sister said you will get off task. What do you do then? Get back on task restart when you get off it again restart again, when you get off track again restart again, millimeters, baby steps 1% bite-size very small steps is how you get started so that you’re not so wrong. You can get the train rolling. Once you get the train, will you go as far as you can then you’ll get off that then come back. This is the reality people if you were some of the struggles with executive function don’t expect to be someone who does Start with executive function executing is not easy when it’s a non-preferred tasks. So you’re going to have to start and restart and restart and you will get us and don’t worry about getting with the 1% rule to don’t worry about getting a worry about getting a c worry about getting done. Okay often times when you think of it that way it’s way easier to get in there be anyway so with that I hope you are having a great relaxing summer if you’re in summer school. I hope that you can block it out in such a way that you can have as much stress free relaxation and fun time as possible while blocking out your focus times and in doing those and getting done with them so you can get on to the fun time. All right guys. Take care. I’ll see you soon.