How abstract STRESSES your child (and how to help them make it CONCRETE for better executive function)
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Parents and teachers, kids with executive function challenges are overwhelmed when expectations are too abstract. This causes students to resist taking the actions they need to be taking. If we really want to help them, we need to teach them strategies for making things concrete, and we need to do this with compassion, patience, and persistence. This video breaks it down.
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Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth
Video transcript:
Parents, what’s up? This sub4sub Pro. Common executive function coach in Colorado. And I have a struggling students navigate this thing called education so they can have a great life and for all students for students who struggle with executive function or any students really I want to talk about this concept of abstract vs. Concrete. So a lot of our students a lot of the students that I work with students who struggle with executive function students who struggle with misting is incomplete slate work their grades are falling they don’t want to use planners are disorganized yada yada these kids that you’re worried about, you know, if they don’t figure this stuff out or they can be able to create the future that we want them to have for these students. I want to talk about abstract vs. Concrete. So for these students the biggest problem with these students is that they are resistant to him what I mean by resistance is that they read this doing the things that they need to do that will help set them up have a great future that will help them plant the seeds so that they can have a future with the unlimited choices possibilities freedom. Have a future to live the type of Life. They want to live and the biggest problem that they have is resistant. So right now they’re in school and they’re learning these things and they have to do these things and jump through these hoops in school and do their school work and learn as much as they can and get as much as they can out of education, but they are resistant. They say things like I don’t want to I don’t feel like it this is stupid. Why do I have to do this? When am I ever going to use this? I’ll do it later. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it in 5 minutes. I promise I’ll do it in study hall tomorrow. Seriously. I have time in school tomorrow. I have time in class tomorrow. I’m going to get it done or I promise I’ll get it away already turned it in. I know I turned it and I’m sure I remember turning it in by the teacher must have lost it, you know, so we hear all these sorts of resistance messages this procrastination these excuses if the resistance is something where these students aren’t doing the things that they need to do to be planting. The seeds are resisting taking action that that should be taken. So any program that doesn’t deal with this resistance is missing the point. You have to help students learn to work with this. It’s not a matter of just shaming them or punishing them rewarding them are all these things that we do that don’t work. We have to help them learn to work with us. I want to talk about abstract and concrete. I know it’s taking me a couple minutes just to build to this point, but I want to talk about abstract and concrete as related to this because it’s a really great underlying principle that you can use to help students with these sorts of resistance is so essentially you have the abstract and concrete abstract in the body feels uncomfortable and what I mean by this is when they have to do something when there is an expectation that they do school work or some responsibility. And it’s abstract to them as to how that thing is going to be done that feels uncomfortable. It feels overwhelming. It feels big. They don’t know where to start and so they are going to be more resistant. They’re going to be looking for ways to avoid that physical feeling that they’re experiencing of of anxiety with what they’re expected to do. I’ll break this down a little bit more in just a moment now on the other side concrete, it may still be a little bit stressful but it way reduces the amount of stress that these students have experienced when we make the expectations very concrete or when they learn on their own how to make their their responsibilities more concrete. So I’m going to break this down even more So abstract means that the amount of time and energy that is required to do a task when it feels abstract. It feels overwhelming. Let me give you a very concrete example of what might be abstract. Here’s here’s abstract world in the students brain. I got a bunch of homework tonight. That’s abstract. What is the homework? How long will it take where you going to do it? What are you going to need? What materials are you going to need? Are you going to need resources to find extra answers for that how much time and energy exactly. Is it going to take to do homework? That’s a very vague vague is abstract vague is stressful vague is I don’t even want to think about it. I’m going to procrastinate I’m going to put it off as long as I possibly can because I don’t even know where to start. Where do you start while you start by making it as concrete as possible? So let’s go into concrete world. Let’s say that you have a student who is a very strong student are very strong executive function school. It comes pretty easily to them. They think I have homework tonight if the you ask them why you mean they can say, oh, well, I got the maths and Science and language arts for math. I got to do worksheet. It’s going to take me about 20-25 minutes for language arts. I got to write a draft of an essay. It’s going to be to take me about an hour and 15 minutes. And for the other thing I got to do this that and the other I’m going to need this. I’m going to do it in my bedroom or the kitchen table. I’m going to have all my materials ready. I’m going to make a checklist and I’ll get it done that’s very concrete. They know where they’re going to do it. They know how they’re going to do it whether going to need how long it’s going to take to have a very realistic understanding of this because because they have pretty good executive function. They have been practicing in the honing the skills for years, even though it hasn’t been for manga sale. They’ve been practicing this stuff for years, even though it hasn’t been formally taught to them how to develop executive function. They have been working on it. And then you got your kiddo who’s in the abstract were on there. Like I just got a bunch of stuff to do my backpack some matters. I don’t have it in a planter. I don’t know how long it’s going to take in. That’s overwhelming. So you the parent the teacher the professional me the coach whoever is working with them. We now have an opera many opportunities to help them reduce their Stress and Anxiety about the vagueness in the abstract nest in the overwhelming nature of the abstract. We have now have an opportunity to help them learn skills and strategies for making a concrete going to say that part again to we are helping them develop skills and strategies. It’s not just a matter of willingness. They just need to try harder. Give me more motivated. They just need to be more disciplined that is not the point. They don’t have the skills. So now we have an opportunity to help scaffold from where they’re at. The skills. It is not a shame thing. It’s not that they just need to try harder. We have to help Empower them with the skills and strategies. Are they going to be resistant to us helping them? Of course, of course, they have been practicing resistance for many years in excuses and inaction and procrastination. They’ve been working very hard at practicing those skills over the years. Okay. So yes, this is not easy for you or I or any of us were trying to help these kids, but that’s what we’re doing. We are one of the things that we’re doing is we are helping these kids learn how to take things that feel abstract vague overwhelming big like to have a mountain to climb and they don’t even know where to start and we help them learn how what strategies do we use to Chum? It down to make it into manageable bite-size pieces that they can actually start to take action on where we can take the nervous system Stacy. This is pretty manageable. Can you do this part? Can you do this part and then we build that threshold over the months and years that we’re working with them. So, I hope that that would help with you the concept of abstract and concrete. Oh, if you like this video on your watch me on YouTube go ahead and give it a thumbs up and feel free to leave a comment. Where do you see abstract and concrete stop increasing Strasser decreasing stress? What Creative Solutions? Have you come up with how does this manifest with the kids that you are working with whether your parent or teacher another professional? dot-com I’ll go ahead and sign up for my side if you want freebies and updates for me. I do them every single week at least and go and leave a comment or like And subscribe on YouTube if you want have a fantastic day. I will see you next time.