REWARD a child?

What’s up, parents and teachers?

This is Seth from SethPerler.com. I hope you’re doing awesome.

As we reach the end of the school year, something has been on my mind. This is a time when many of you want to reward your students for their accomplishments.

What often happens is that adults tend to reward the result or the outcome. While there’s nothing wrong with celebrating achievements, I want to encourage you to become more process-oriented.

I want you to notice and reward the effort your students put in because those are the things that actually led to the result.

Whether you do it verbally, in writing, or through some kind of celebration, take the time to really look your students in the eye and tell them what you noticed.

Say things like:

“I noticed how organized you were.”

“I noticed how consistently you used your planner.”

“I noticed how hard you worked.”

“I noticed how much effort you put into this.”

Tell them, “I am so proud of you for your effort.”

The reason this matters is because effort is what produces results.

When you acknowledge the process, students become more reflective about what actually helped them succeed. The more aware they become of the behaviors and habits that led to the outcome, the more likely they are to consciously apply those same strategies in the future.

That awareness creates confidence and self-reliance. It helps students realize that they can create positive results for themselves because they understand how they got there.

Now, of course, you can still reward outcomes.

You can celebrate good grades. You can take them out to dinner. You can give them gifts or use whatever methods of celebration feel meaningful for your family or classroom.

I’m not judging any of that.

In fact, I encourage you to find ways to make accomplishments feel special and worth celebrating.

But be very conscious about what you’re celebrating.

What you celebrate is what you encourage.

And if you want to encourage continued growth, focus on the behaviors that led to success.

After all, an outcome isn’t a behavior.

The behavior is what creates the outcome.

You want to encourage the habits and skills that will help your child build an incredible future—not just an average future or a mediocre future.

What creates that kind of future?

The ability to execute.

The ability to use executive function skills effectively.

The ability to do what needs to be done, even when it’s difficult.

The ability to overcome resistance and take action.

Those are processes. Those are behaviors. Those are skills that require effort.

And that’s exactly what we should be rewarding and focusing on.

Well, summer break is almost here!

I hope all of you have a wonderful, relaxing, fun, joyful, and rejuvenating summer.

Take care, everyone.

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If this message helped you, take a moment and share it with someone today.

Take care.