Student CAN’T or WON’T ???
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This vlog is based on a recent email:
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…He is now twelve, in 6th grade. Because he will be going to secondary school next year the sped teachers are hugely focused on executive function. Where it breaks down is their approach which assumes competencies he doesn’t yet have. And he (mostly respectfully) pushes back. The sped teacher says they are open to suggestions and I’ve shared your toolkit. Thanks for what you do.
Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth
Video transcript:
What’s up with me Seth or Steph Curry. Com. I am an executive function coaching Boulder, Colorado help struggling students navigate this thing called school. So how do we help these students? Well, I have a letter here today from somebody and she’s talking about her 6th grader. It goes like this. I just learned about your site and I look forward to exploring him or he is now 12. He’s in sixth grade because of me going to the secondary school next year that the sped teachers are hugely focused on Executive function. Where breaks down as their approach which assumes competencies. He doesn’t yet have and he mostly respectfully pushes back. The best teacher says they are open to suggestions and I shared your tool Godiva free to look at on my website when you sign up for the block. Thanks for what you do. So, this is a great a great email and what I really am going to focus on here is this part where it says where breaks down is their approach which is soon competencies. He doesn’t yet have many many many many teachers do not understand executive function, even if they think they do even if they can defy me even if they can talk about it. They don’t really understand it. It’s a relatively new term being used a lot and people don’t understand it. If you want to get to know it look at my website on the executive function article where the exhaust Italy goes into it because it is not simple. But basically you can assume that most students who struggle in school struggle with executive function in some way shape or form and here it says they assume competencies. He doesn’t yet have that means that a lot of times teachers Educators parents too, but they’ll they’ll think that a student can do more than they can and then that brings up this whole awesome topic of is it a cancer or is it a won’t is it that the student can’t do it or that they won’t do it and that lying sometimes gets gray and I think it gets more won’t to the more the older I get the more in the middle and high school. They get the more frustrated more than more. They feel beaten down the more it becomes a won’t But I want you two to consider that most often. It really is a can’t they do not have the complexity skills the navigate school to do planners to do the process of homework and and take care of themselves and have free time and down time in Balance live it they literally do not so when I’m wearing this to new Star Wars with executive function, I am helping them grow millimeter by millimeter. I’m not trying to if they don’t have certain competencies. I’m not trying to get them from here to here. I’m trying to get there from here to hear. Okay. So one of the things that I hear a lot particularly and middle and high school is the teachers would the student will have accommodations and the teachers are the school or somebody will say yeah. Well the student can have these a comedy But they have to advocate for themselves but hear this says assume competencies. He doesn’t yet have oh my God. It drives me nuts because these kids if they’re not advocating for themselves. Do not understand have the skill of being able to stop Advocate yet. They haven’t learned how to do it. So when you tell student, oh, yeah, you can have an accommodation but you have to ask for it first and they cannot even they don’t even know where their backpack is. They don’t even remember the combination their locker. So they Jam everything their backpack. They don’t even know what class had neck then even know what time it is. They don’t know what they have for homework. They bought their planner again the really struggling with so many things they’re having social situation you got to eat. These are the kids who were really legitimately struggling and then the school is like, yeah, but you have to do not do not understanding that this is something that the kid can’t do not a won’t sew competencies. He doesn’t yet have our cans. So as a parent or as a professional We have to really look and determine is it a can’t or won’t or is there gray and how do we support them? From where they’re at to get to the next micro-level not to get wet up here. Are we support them to be able to do that? You get so much farther by taking such smaller steps. I’m going to say that again parents and teachers you get so much smaller by taking so much farther by taking smaller steps. We want them to have successful experiences. So what you can ask yourself is what is the next step that can be taken that they can see that they’re successful in the way that I look at it as I want to push them beyond their comfort zone because if I don’t push him beyond their comfort zone, that’s an enabling world that’s in coddling world. You want a person pass a comfort zone, but you also don’t want to push them pass through threshold because of you pushing past the threshold they withdraw they resist they give up you lose them so that they can Be a very small area to plan sometimes Mac and be a very big challenge that takes a lot of time to develop but essentially that’s what we’re looking for. We’re trying to figure out where is that zone that we can push them that we can Elevate them just a little bit so that they can get the next level do they have giant breakthroughs and epiphanies and stuff like that sure sometimes but I’m not as a professional banking on that to help make the kids regrets that is not where it’s at. That’s lucky if we get some of those I’m looking at how can we take very real small steps to get them to the next level and whatever the area is that we are working on. So hen in the last thing I want to talk about is the iceberg here. So the tip of the iceberg is is what we see but beneath the surface again is where we need to be working. This is where a resistance is. It’s beneath the surface or something beneath the surface. It’s emotionally stressful. They’re having a visceral experience that means somatic stressful experience their avoidant what their stuff going on below the surface so we often see this and what did the tip of the iceberg often is is they look non-compliant. They’re not turning in the market missing saving complete them 30 minutes in the projects are not aware of what’s going on. We see the symptoms, but we don’t see often the cost. So what happens with that also a lot at all is that we often see the symptoms and we attribute the cause to the wrong thing. And here’s what we often attributed the cause to we often attribute the Cause 2. He or she is lazy. They’re just not putting forth enough effort. They’re not trying hard enough. They just must not care about school and things like that these shaming messages that do not offer any sort of solution. If you’re lazy than the solution is just get unlazy if you’re not motivated. The solution is get motivated. If you’re not this one the solution is get this one. If you don’t care about school enough the solution is care about school more. You’re not trying hard enough to the messages. Just try harder these these messages with the kids internalized them and they feel them very deeply but they are shaming in these messages. Do not offer a solution. Okay, just go do your homework just go spend more time. So they don’t know how they don’t add this person said half the competencies do I have just want to break that down a little bit for you? And I know this is hard but just focus please on the baby steps to small steps with underneath the surface and how can we Elevate them a little bit and support them from where they’re at and be Very realistic about it so that we can actually move them forward and not move them backward not make them more resistant not make them less motivated not make them more ashamed and stuff like that to hurt my sights set the Pro. Com sign up for the free gifts subscribe on YouTube thumbs up at throw comment down there. Tell me what you think. Have a great day.