🧠 Parents, Why Executive Function is a QUALITY of LIFE issue.

Okay, hi everybody. Again, as I said, executive function is a quality-of-life issue. We are here because this is not a joke—it truly impacts quality of life.

When we have executive function challenges, they can really interfere with our ability to get important things done. So, what I’m going to do first is talk a bit about executive function. I’ll also do a lot of Q&A today, Bob, but I want to start by giving you some basics.

Looking at the comments, it seems like most people are here either because you have executive function challenges yourself or you’re trying to figure out if you do.

So, let’s start at the beginning.

This is the human brain. The first thing I want to mention is that if you have ADHD, have been diagnosed with ADHD, don’t like the term ADHD but have the symptoms, or suspect you might have it—executive function is at the core of what’s going on. ADHD has everything to do with executive function. It interferes with how we execute tasks.

Let’s talk about the term “executive function.”

Executive function is what’s happening in the brain to help us execute tasks—both important and unimportant. For example, playing guitar might feel important to me because it’s fun and meaningful. But if I’m playing guitar when I should be doing my taxes, then it’s not the priority.

Executive function helps us execute all kinds of tasks—simple and complex. That’s why it’s called “executive”—it’s the part of the brain responsible for getting things done.

Executive function generally takes place in the frontal lobe—the prefrontal cortex, the front third of the brain. If you put your hand on your forehead, it’s right behind that area.

The good news is that executive function can improve in a few different ways.

One way is by removing things that interfere with it. For example, sleep has been a challenge for much of my life. Getting better sleep improves executive function—or at least stops making it worse. Not sleeping definitely makes it worse.

Another way the brain changes is through building new neural connections. Even as adults, we can still do this—though it’s different from how a 10-year-old’s brain changes.

The third way to improve executive function is through systems—what I call the “Executive Function Trifecta.”

The trifecta includes:
Systems, mindsets, habits, and routines.

If you’re taking notes, this is a great place to write that down.

There are many great methodologies out there, and I respect them all. But I’ll share how my brain understands this model, and you can take what works for you.

Essentially, as the brain develops, it learns how to execute tasks—whether it’s playing video games, doing homework, getting a job, or working toward goals.

I talk about 13 or 14 executive function skill sets. These are skills that can be built—they are not fixed.

For example:

* Planning
* Organization
* Attention (focus, concentration)
* Inhibition (not getting distracted)
* Task initiation (getting started)
* Follow-through and completion
* Time management
* Prioritization
* Decision-making

Different experts define these differently. Some say there are 3, some say 10. I say 13 or 14—it’s flexible.

The key point is this: executive function includes all the skills the brain uses to execute important tasks.

So, I’d love to hear—what do you struggle with?

Getting out of the house? Being on time? Finishing things? Time blindness? Prioritizing? Staying on task?

All of these are executive function challenges.

Now let’s circle back to the trifecta: systems, mindsets, habits, and routines.

If I want to execute a task—whether it’s something I enjoy or something I don’t—the difference between preferred and non-preferred tasks is huge.

Many of us, especially adults, have been told we’re lazy or not trying hard enough. These messages create shame. But in reality, we’ve been doing the best we can with the tools we have.

We’ve all developed workarounds.

For example, I don’t like doing taxes. So I use accountability as a strategy. I have someone sit with me and guide me through it. That’s a compensatory strategy.

Another example: organization. I use minimalism. I keep very few things because I know I can’t manage clutter.

For task initiation and follow-through, I use timers. I call it “annoy thyself”—using reminders to help me focus and execute.

These are systems.

Think of the prefrontal cortex like a toolbox.

We all have tools—planning, focus, prioritization, etc. The issue is not that we don’t have the tools, but that we struggle to use them in certain contexts.

For example, a child can focus intensely on video games but not on homework. The skill exists—it just hasn’t been generalized.

Some tools are simple (like a hammer). Others are complex. The goal is to learn how to use these tools more effectively.

And there is hope—lots of it.

I see people create change all the time. Even if you’re struggling deeply right now, change is possible.

But change doesn’t happen all at once. It happens through baby steps.

This is where the “hockey stick” concept comes in. Progress feels slow at first—almost invisible. But over time, momentum builds, and change accelerates.

Now, let’s break down the trifecta more clearly.

1. Systems
These are things like planning, organizing, focusing, and managing time. Everyone needs systems—even if they don’t look traditional.

For example, I plan visually in my head. Others use written planners. Both are valid.

1. Mindsets
The biggest barrier is resistance:
“I don’t want to.”
“This is stupid.”
“I’ll do it later.”

The solution is a growth mindset:
“I can do this in small steps.”
“I can ask for help.”

1. Habits and Routines
Even if someone knows how to use a system, it doesn’t matter if they don’t have the habit.

Parents often say, “My kid knows how to use a planner.”
That’s not the issue. The issue is consistency.

To create change, we need all three:

* Systems
* Mindsets
* Habits and routines

If one is missing, progress is limited.

My job is to help people move forward despite resistance—especially students who feel overwhelmed and stuck.

We take small steps. We build momentum. And eventually, those small wins lead to big change.

I want to end with this:

There is so much hope.

Even if you’re struggling, even if it feels overwhelming—you can take one small step.

If you don’t know where to start, try this:
Write down systems, mindsets, habits, and routines on separate pages. Reflect on what’s working and what’s not.

And remember:

Never, ever give up.

Take one more baby step.

My name is Seth Perler. You can find me at:

* executivefunctionlab.com
* sethperler.com
* executivefunctionsummit.com

Take care.