2e Twice-Exceptional tips for b2s

Hey parents, if you have a twice-exceptional student, regardless of whether they’re in elementary, middle, or high school, are there any special considerations you should keep in mind as you’re starting the new school year?

My name is Seth Perler. I’m an executive function coach based in Boulder, Colorado, and I specialize in executive function and 2e (twice-exceptional) students. I work with a lot of 2e kids, and I really enjoy it. They’re complex, interesting, neurodiverse individuals with atypical brains. I think they’re pretty cool.

Today, I want to share some key thoughts with you. First, we’ll quickly review what 2e means. Then we’ll discuss one side of the exceptionality, followed by the other side. We’ll talk about how to support both aspects, and I’ll finish with one final tip.

What Is 2e?

2e stands for twice exceptional. It means that a learner, student, or person has two exceptionalities.

In education, an exceptionality generally refers to someone who falls outside the middle of the bell curve. Typically, a twice-exceptional student is someone who is gifted or talented in some way while also having a learning challenge, disability, or other significant difficulty.

Of course, there can be multiple exceptionalities. Some individuals might even be considered 3e or multi-exceptional. I won’t go deeply into that today, but I wanted to provide a basic overview before we continue.

Common Challenges for 2e Students

Let’s start by discussing some of the challenges often found in 2e students.

Generally speaking, students with learning challenges often struggle with executive function. This can happen whether or not they have a diagnosis such as ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), dyslexia, dyscalculia, sensory processing difficulties, or something else.

These students often struggle with execution, output, follow-through, and getting things done. They may have late assignments, missing work, zeros, incomplete assignments, or frequent test corrections.

They may also struggle with:

• Using planners

• Organization

• Time management

• Memory

• Remembering expectations

• Keeping track of responsibilities

Emotional Regulation

Along with executive function challenges often comes difficulty with emotional regulation.

Many of these students are highly sensitive emotionally. If something feels stressful, threatening, unsafe, or overwhelming—whether it’s homework, a teacher, perfectionism, or something else—it can create a significant barrier to success.

Resistance

Another common challenge is resistance.

These students may resist help from parents or teachers. They may procrastinate, avoid starting tasks, or refuse to engage in activities they find uninteresting or disconnected from their interests.

Resistance often shows up as excuses, avoidance strategies, or difficulty doing what needs to be done.

How to Support These Challenges

There are three major areas that help support 2e students:

1. Systems

2. Mindsets

3. Habits and routines

Systems

Students need systems that work for them personally.

They need systems for:

• Managing papers

• Organizing backpacks

• Planning and scheduling

• Tracking responsibilities

Many adults give students cookie-cutter systems, assuming they’ll work because they’re popular or trendy. But effective systems need to be personalized and tailored to the individual.

Mindsets

Many 2e students develop a resistance mindset.

They need empowering beliefs such as:

• “I can do this.”

• “I can figure this out.”

• “I can ask for help.”

• “I can work through challenges.”

Students need mindsets that help them move forward instead of staying stuck.

Habits and Routines

Good habits and routines are essential.

Unfortunately, many students develop habits that don’t support productivity or success. Helping them build positive routines can make a tremendous difference.

Communication with Teachers

The next important area is communication.

Parents need open communication with teachers, counselors, and school staff. You should feel heard and confident that your child’s needs are understood and taken seriously.

One strategy I strongly recommend is sending advocacy emails, especially at the beginning of the school year.

These emails should:

• Be brief

• Use bullet points

• Focus on the most important information

• Be easy for busy teachers to read

Approach these communications with the mindset that you’re on the same team. Assume positive intent. Most teachers genuinely want to help and have your child’s best interests at heart.

That said, there are teachers who don’t fully understand 2e students. Some may be dismissive or even condescending. Be aware of that possibility, but begin from a place of collaboration whenever possible.

School Meetings

If you’re attending meetings such as RTI, 504, or IEP meetings, bring an agenda.

These meetings are often:

• Short

• Crowded

• Packed with information

Without an agenda, valuable time can be wasted.

Bring a simple list of the key points you want to discuss. Even if it’s not followed exactly, it helps everyone stay focused on what matters most.

The “Gray Area” Student

Many 2e students are what I call gray area kids.

Teachers often say:

“I know they can do it. I’ve seen them do it before.”

The challenge is that many of these students have invisible difficulties. Teachers may only see the tip of the iceberg and miss what’s happening underneath.

As a result, students may be perceived as:

• Lazy

• Unmotivated

• Defiant

• Willful

In reality, attentional challenges, processing difficulties, executive function struggles, or emotional barriers may be contributing to the problem.

The Gifted Side of 2e

Now let’s talk about the other side of twice exceptionality: the gifts and talents.

We don’t want students sitting in classrooms where they aren’t challenged or engaged. Gifted students often become frustrated when work feels repetitive or meaningless.

Gifted students are often:

• Highly sensitive

• Intuitive

• Curious

• Fast learners

Many need an accelerated or compacted curriculum.

A gifted child may learn something in one hour that takes others four hours to learn, or learn something in two weeks that takes others six weeks.

Their gifts deserve attention just as much as their challenges do.

Building on Strengths

Your child’s future career and life will likely be built on:

• Strengths

• Gifts

• Talents

• Passions

• Interests

• Curiosities

These are the areas we want to develop.

Too often, schools and society focus primarily on fixing weaknesses while neglecting strengths.

We want teachers who can differentiate instruction and personalize learning experiences.

This includes flexibility in:

• Content (what they learn)

• Process (how they learn)

• Product (how they demonstrate learning)

Every student deserves a rich, engaging, and challenging education.

Supporting Strengths Outside School

Schools won’t always meet every need.

When they don’t, parents can help fill the gaps by providing enriching opportunities outside of school.

Watch for signs that your child isn’t challenged or engaged, and seek experiences that continue developing their strengths, interests, and talents.

The Most Important Thing: The Relationship

After discussing executive function, emotional regulation, communication, strengths, talents, and advocacy, I want to talk about the most important thing of all:

Your relationship with your child.

Healthy, secure relationships matter more than anything else.

Work toward creating a relationship where your child feels:

• Heard

• Seen

• Understood

• Supported

This can be challenging, especially during the middle and high school years, but it’s worth the effort.

Research often refers to this as secure attachment. Building secure attachment and addressing patterns of anxious or avoidant attachment can have a profound impact on your child’s well-being.

Make Time for Connection

As you plan this semester—and every semester—schedule quality time with your child.

Spend time:

• Having fun together

• Connecting

• Enjoying shared interests

• Talking about things other than school

Time passes quickly. Children grow up fast.

Don’t let an entire semester go by wishing you had spent more time together.

All the strategies we’ve discussed today are important, but the most important thing is maintaining a strong relationship and creating meaningful moments together.

That’s all I’ve got.

My name is Seth Perler. I’m an executive function coach based in Boulder, Colorado.

I hope you’re having a great day. If you found this helpful, feel free to like the video, leave a comment, and share your own suggestions for helping 2e students start the school year successfully.

Take care.