📝Why Parents SHOULD email Teacher before winter break AND what to say (Executive Function, ADHD, 2e)

Hey, what is up, you compassionate, proactive, caring parents, teachers, therapists—anybody who’s interested in supporting kids with executive function challenges?

We know the holidays can be crazy, and today I’m going to talk about three ways that executive function challenges can make the holidays hard. These are three ways they can contribute to a time that’s supposed to be about enjoying family, having fun, and relaxing—but instead can feel really chaotic, uncomfortable, and disconnected.

So I’m going to talk about three things. You may want to take notes during this one—feel free to hit pause whenever you need to.

We’re going to talk about planning, organization, and impulsivity—three aspects of executive function. As you know, if you’ve been following me, executive function is how the brain helps us execute and get important things done. It includes skill sets like planning and organization, as well as managing impulsivity.

By the way, my name is Seth Perler from sethperler.com and executivefunctionsummit.com. Share this, like it, give it a thumbs up, leave a comment—do all the things.

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Let’s go ahead and get started.

First, let’s look at how planning impacts holiday stress.

Executive function helps us plan—what some people call “future thought.” This is how the brain helps us imagine the future so we can prepare, think through consequences, and conceptualize what’s coming.

When we have challenges with planning and future thinking, we can be less present and more stressed because we don’t know what’s coming. Then when things happen, we didn’t expect them.

During the holidays, kids often feel more stress because there’s more rushing, more arguments, and more unpredictability. They’re used to structure—school schedules, routines—and suddenly that structure is gone. While they need the break, that lack of structure can feel overwhelming.

Things become more abstract. I talk a lot about making abstract things concrete. That lack of concreteness can throw kids off, especially when plans change or new events pop up.

So what can you do?

Most of you have about two weeks off during the holidays. I want to encourage you to sit down with your child—whether they’re in fourth grade or college—and plan together.

Use a big calendar (I love those large desk calendars you can put on a wall). Sit down together, turn off electronics if possible, and spend 15–30 minutes planning in a positive way.

Talk through what’s coming up:
What are we doing?
What do we need to remember?
How do we want this to go?

If lack of planning creates chaos, then more planning creates less chaos—which leads to more presence, connection, and enjoyment.

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Number two: organization.

Executive function also helps us organize—this is tied to the prefrontal cortex.

During the holidays, there’s already so much going on. But this is actually a great time to reduce future stress by preparing for the spring semester (or next term).

That means:

* Reviewing grades (if the semester ended)
* Reflecting on what worked and what didn’t
* Setting goals for the next term
* Focusing on actionable habits, not just outcomes

For example, instead of focusing only on grades, focus on behaviors that lead to better results—like study habits.

You can also:

* Reorganize backpacks
* Clean desks
* Sort materials from lockers or cars

The goal is that when school starts again, your child is ready to hit the ground running.

I recommend batching this work into two sessions during the break. Each session might be 3–4 hours.

Plan three sessions—but expect to complete two. Life happens. Even if you only complete one, it will still make the next semester easier.

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Number three: impulsivity and emotional regulation.

Executive function helps us inhibit impulses—like blurting things out or reacting emotionally. It also helps regulate emotions.

When these skills are weak, kids (and adults) can be more impulsive and less emotionally regulated.

And what do we really want during the holidays?

Connection.

We want to be present, enjoy each other, and spend meaningful time together. But the holidays can be chaotic—unpredictable schedules, lots of stimulation, rushing around, and everyone glued to devices.

So what can you do?

Think about how your family connects best.

Ask yourself:

* What helps us laugh together?
* When do we feel most present?
* What actually works?

For some families, it’s:

* Board games
* Turning off phones and TV
* Going outside
* Cooking together
* Attending events

Even if you have teenagers who seem disengaged, still think about what might work.

Write these ideas down.

Then go back to step one—planning—and schedule these connection moments on your calendar.

Make them visible. Make them intentional.

Quick recap:

1. Plan
Sit down with your child and map out the holidays. Planning reduces chaos and builds connection.

2. Organize
Prep for the upcoming semester—this will reduce stress later and set your child up for success.

3. Connect (manage impulsivity & emotions)
Focus on intentional connection. Plan activities that help your family be present together.

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My name is Seth Perler. If you’re not familiar with my work, check out my site for free resources and sign up for the newsletter.

Leave a comment below—what helps your family stay connected during the holidays? What ideas do you have for others?

Life is precious. Every day is precious. Especially this time of year.

I wish you joy, peace, and most of all—connection with the people you care about, especially the kids in your life.

Have a fantastic day. Share this if you found it helpful. Take care.