🔵WHACK-a-MOLE: Why helping kids with Executive Function is like the game Whack-a Mole

Parents and teachers, remember that game called *Whac-A-Mole*?

You put a quarter into the machine, it gives you this big giant hammer with a soft end on it, and then these moles start popping up from different holes. You take the hammer and whack them down. Then another one pops up. Then another one. Then another one.

You never know where they’re going to appear next.

That is very much what it’s like helping students who struggle with executive function.

Hey parents and teachers, my name is Seth Perler. I’m an executive function coach based in Colorado, and I help struggling students navigate this thing called education so they can have a great future.

And these kids are at risk.

This is no joke. This is real.

Please take this seriously: if these kids do not develop good enough executive function skills, they are at risk of facing a lot of difficulties later in life. They may struggle to achieve the things that become important to them once they figure out what those things are.

Helping these students can feel exactly like playing Whac-A-Mole.

This is what I specialize in. This is the work I do every day.

When I’m working with a family or a student, I’m trying to help them move from Point A to Point B.

Point A is where they are struggling with executive function, and everyone around them is worried:
“Oh my gosh, if this kid doesn’t figure things out, they’re really going to struggle.”

Point B is where the parents, teachers, and student can all finally breathe a sigh of relief and say:
“Okay. This kid is going to be alright.”

Now, depending on the student, there are different “flavor profiles” of kids I work with. Generally speaking, it can take one semester, two semesters, three, or even four to create enough meaningful change.

It really depends on:

* what skills they already have,
* what support systems they have,
* and where they are when they begin.

But whether I work with a student for one semester or four, it often feels like playing Whac-A-Mole.

For example:
A student starts using a planner consistently, and it’s helping everything. There’s a domino effect happening. Then suddenly:

* they lose the planner,
* stop using it,
* or decide they hate it.

Now that strategy is temporarily “out of the game.”

Or maybe they create a great study space where they can finally focus. It works for a few days… and then they forget about it, or the habit doesn’t fully stick yet, or it hasn’t “gelled.”

Or maybe they begin advocating for themselves with teachers. They walk up and say:
“Hey, can I get some help?”

The teacher responds positively, and things are improving.

Then all of a sudden, they stop doing it again.
Or they forget that support is available to them.

That’s why it feels like Whac-A-Mole.

And the worst possible thing we can do in these moments is shame the student.

We do *not* want to respond with:
“You were just doing that. Why did you stop?”
“What happened?”
“You were doing fine before.”

The tone matters *everything.*

The energy behind the words matters.

If the message comes across with harshness, condescension, frustration, or contempt, the student feels it immediately.

When I work with students, I see the “Whac-A-Mole” effect constantly. But my objective is always to respond with:

* positivity,
* warmth,
* kindness,
* compassion,
* empathy,
* understanding,
* and support.

Instead of shame, I want the student to feel:
“Hey, I get it. You got off track. That happens.”

Then we shift into problem-solving together:

* “What ideas do you have?”
* “How can we make this system simpler?”
* “If you get off track again, how can we help you get back on track?”

That’s the mindset.

It’s incredibly important to watch:

* our tone,
* our body language,
* and the words we choose.

Because once things cross into “shame territory,” the support we’re trying to provide starts backfiring. We become *less* effective for the child we are trying to help.

My name is Seth Perler. If you liked this video, give it a thumbs up, share it, and leave a comment.

What do you think about this idea?
Where do you see the “Whac-A-Mole” effect happening in executive function or education in general?
And what strategies have helped the kids you work with?

Alright everybody — be well, take care, and see you later.