AWESOME Advice from MASTER TEACHER to students, parents, and teachers

All right. Hey, what’s up, everybody? This is Seth with SethPerler.com, executive function coach in Colorado, and I am thrilled to have Ellen Riffel here today.

Ellen is what I would consider a master teacher. She has truly been one of the most inspirational teachers I’ve ever met throughout my teaching career on many levels — the way she mentors other teachers, the way she sets an example, and the way she connects with kids.

Somehow, her presence with kids is calming, reassuring, strong, and determined. She’s just got that “X-factor” thing. I really appreciate that she has chosen to devote her life to education in so many ways. She wears a lot of hats and has for many years.

I asked Ellen to come on today because I feel like hearing from her — for students, parents, and teachers — about what’s going on and how to navigate this challenging time will be valuable for all of you.

So, Ellen, hi.

“Good morning, my friend. Those are very nice words you shared. I appreciate that.”

Absolutely. Do you want to give us a 30-second background on what you want people to know about you?

“I have taught for a very long time, and my mom said I never grew out of seventh grade, which is why I’ve taught seventh-grade middle schoolers for so long. But I’m also an administrator, a mom of five, a grandma, and an active volunteer in my community. In other words, everything I do is related to keeping our community happy, healthy, and learning.”

Thank goodness for people like you.

“Oh yeah, we need all of us. But teaching is the job I was always meant to do. I was never any good at anything else.”

Awesome.

Mostly parents and teachers are going to watch this, but they may show this part to their kids. So let’s start by talking to kids.

You’ve worked with so many kids for so long, and you have such a great intuition about it. During this time, what are some of the core messages you want kids to hear from your heart to theirs?

Parents, meanwhile, you can share this part with your kids if you think they’ll like it.

Here’s Ellen:

“Kids, everything we do is about you. And that’s kind of a lot of pressure, isn’t it? Your parents care so much, your teachers care so much, and I think we adults forget that it can feel stressful to know people have such high hopes and expectations for you.

So kids, here’s what I’m thinking: let’s keep it simple.

How about we do school at home a little bit like we do it at school? You come to me all the time saying, ‘Miss Riffel, I need another copy of my schedule,’ because that schedule is important to you. Well, it’s exactly the same at home.

Everybody’s been running on a different schedule, and now you and your parents need to build a new one. It needs to be balanced. It should include the same kinds of things you had at school — learning time, lunch and social time, getting outside, and more than anything, consistency.

It’s really important that you help your parents build this schedule because, honestly, kids often understand schedules better than adults do.

Also, weekdays should feel different than weekends. That’s important. For example, if you used to have sleepovers with friends on Saturdays, you can still do fun traditions — just with your family at home.

I saw one family pull out sleeping bags and camp in the living room to recreate the sleepover feeling. That kind of thing matters.

Parents, I know your instinct is to take over and set the schedule yourself, but this is a good time to listen to your kids. They’re used to structure at school, and losing it can make them feel disconnected and uncomfortable.

Even scheduling time to connect online with friends through Zoom or Google Hangouts matters. At school, kids naturally get social interaction during lunch, recess, or passing periods. At home, those moments need to be intentional.”

“That’s my first advice to kids.

The second thing is chores. Parents should help with this one. Kids need a chore chart, just like when they were younger.

Everybody needs to work and feel good about their work. Parents, think about all the chores that need to be done, and let kids have some choice.

Kids, I want you to do it with an open and happy heart because it helps your parents, helps you feel organized, and helps your family.

When we come out of this quarantine, the world will need you. I always tell my students to find something they can do to contribute. It doesn’t have to be huge. We all need to do things for ourselves, our families, and our communities.”

“For example, my husband runs an assisted living facility where elderly people live. Right now they’re quarantined too, and they would love to see a child’s face over video chat or hear what kids are learning in school.

There are many ways to help others — not just physical chores, but emotional and social support too.”

“One more thing I want students to practice is this word: ‘Okay.’

Okay doesn’t mean you agree. It just means, ‘I hear you.’

When your mom says, ‘Take out the trash,’ instead of arguing, just say, ‘Okay.’ It lowers tension.

You’re living in close quarters right now, and conflict is hard on people. So try to leave out the attitude, eye-rolling, and negativity. Just saying ‘okay’ can calm things down.”

“And please get outside. We need sunlight, fresh air, and vitamin D.

Parents sometimes forget how fun it is to be outside. Teach your kids the games you used to love, and kids, teach your parents the games your teachers taught you.

Everything I’m talking about is about balance. When emotions get out of balance, things get difficult.

I saw a funny post online where one family used the word ‘pickle’ as a timeout signal. If things got tense, someone would yell ‘pickle,’ and everyone would go to their quiet space for a bit.

Even on submarines, people living in tight spaces are taught to step away, calm down, and then come back and discuss problems calmly.

At school, we handle conflict every day. Maybe now we’ll all start yelling ‘pickle.’”

Seth:

“That was amazing. I’m completely aligned with you about schedules. One of the first videos I made during all this was about the importance of structure and schedules.

Students, I hope you take Ellen’s advice to heart and take action today.

Showing up, contributing, helping your family, giving back — you have so much to offer, and people need you.”

Then I asked Ellen:

“What’s the biggest mistake students might make right now?”

She said:

“I think the biggest mistake is treating remote learning as something that has to be done perfectly and immediately.

No — if you can do it perfectly right away, then maybe it wasn’t challenging enough.

Instead of rushing through assignments, slow down. Go deeper. Be thoughtful.

Teachers, this applies to you too. Sometimes we want students to complete assignments exactly the way we designed them, but what we really want is independent thinkers.”

“For the first time in a long time, students actually have time to explore ideas and make learning meaningful.

I had a student named Max who struggled in band class. I told him to find music he actually enjoyed, play it, critique it, and submit that to his teacher.

He got excited. He worked hard. His teacher said, ‘I didn’t even know Max liked the trumpet.’

That’s the point. Don’t rush through assignments. Let kids dig in and make learning personal.”

Then we shifted to parents.

Ellen said:

“Parents, it’s okay to slow down.

Life moves so fast, and there’s so much pressure on parents to do everything for everyone. But this may be a rare opportunity to spend extended time with your children.

I’m not pretending there aren’t real struggles, but I always try to look for moments of joy.”

She shared a story about a teacher who was home with his toddlers. One child successfully used the potty, and he said:

“Everything else today was hard, but that moment of joy carried me through.”

Ellen encouraged parents to look for small joyful moments every day and hold onto them.

Then I asked:

“What mistakes should parents avoid?”

She said:

“I think a lot of it comes down to fear around finances and security. When people lose jobs or worry about money, fear becomes overwhelming.

But parents need to remember: fear is contagious.

One student told me, ‘I’m only scared because my mom is scared.’

That doesn’t mean parents shouldn’t have emotions. It just means we have to be aware of how our fear affects kids.”

“It’s okay to say, ‘I need a moment,’ step away, calm down, and come back grounded.

Help is coming. We can get through this.”

Then we shifted to teachers.

Ellen said:

“Teachers, stop trying to compete.

You see other people’s lessons online and think that’s the standard you have to meet. But your students already know you and care about you.

Keep it simple. Keep it authentic.”

She told a story about a choir teacher who recorded herself singing at the piano and admitted she wasn’t perfect. The kids loved it because it was real and heartfelt.

The assignment that week was simple:

“Choose a song that means something to you and explain why.”

That was enough.

Ellen said:

“Right now, relationships matter more than perfection. Less is more.”

I asked her what mistake teachers should avoid.

She answered:

“Exhausting themselves.

Teachers are trying so hard to be perfect because they don’t want to fail students.

But teachers need help too. Reach out to colleagues. Don’t isolate yourself. Don’t try to do everything alone.

Remember why you became a teacher.”

Finally, Ellen wrapped up with this:

“Be kind to yourself and to others.

This situation is unusual for all of us. School may never look exactly the same again.

So be gentle with yourself and try to find one moment of joy every day.”