How Adults can help HSPs (Highly Sensitive People and students)

Teachers, in this video I want to talk about HSPs — highly sensitive people — and highly sensitive kids in particular, and how we need to be very mindful of their sensitivity as we go through this time.

I’m sure if you’re watching this, you probably already are quite sensitive yourself. But one thing I’ve noticed through many years of working with kids is that, as adults, we can forget how difficult and intense certain experiences were when we were children.

We can forget how hard it was when something went wrong, when we felt shame from a parent or teacher, when we were scared by a bully, or even when we experienced things like having a crush on someone or someone having a crush on us. We can forget how deeply those experiences affected us as children and young people.

For HSPs — highly sensitive people — and for many gifted and talented kids who tend to be very sensitive, these experiences are amplified. And the more sensitive the child is, the more amplified everything feels.

So we need to be very careful about how we communicate with these kids, because their imaginations can really run wild with things. I’m not saying I have all the answers — this is very case by case. You know your child best. I’m simply encouraging you to be mindful of their sensitivity.

Highly sensitive kids may be very visual thinkers. They may imagine scenarios very intensely, catastrophize, or become very afraid not only for themselves but for others as well. And even when a conversation is over, that doesn’t mean their nervous system is calm. They may walk away still carrying that emotional weight.

One piece of advice I want to offer comes from attachment theory and the idea of secure relationships.

When you finish a difficult conversation with your child — especially if they are highly sensitive — it’s important to end with a statement of security.

What I mean by that is you want to help them feel safe, supported, and emotionally anchored. Not by dismissing their feelings, but by reassuring them that you are there for them and that they are not alone.

For example, you might say something like:

“I’m sorry we just had this difficult conversation. I know some of this feels scary. I feel that too sometimes in my own body — I can feel anxiety or tightness or stress. But I want you to know I am here for you. I care about you. I love you. I will always be here for you. You can come talk to me anytime. I may not always respond perfectly, but I will always do my best to listen and understand you. We are going to get through this together.”

The idea is to be like an anchor — steady, grounded, and safe — so the child can move through their emotions while still feeling tethered to something stable.

Even if you, as the adult, are also feeling uncertain or overwhelmed at times, it’s okay to acknowledge that gently. You can say, “I’m scared too,” but still emphasize, “I’m here.”

The goal is not perfection. The goal is presence.

So remember: for highly sensitive people, everything is amplified. Help them process their fears and emotions in the healthiest way possible. Be careful about what you say, how you say it, and especially how you end those conversations — because the emotional “residue” you leave behind really matters.

All my friends, I hope, wish, and pray for your health, safety, and the very best during this time.