My story
Here’s my story.
It’s probably way more than you need to know but I believe in being transparent. So I’ve chosen to really put myself out there and I hope it’s helpful. You may not be surprised to learn that I was the struggling student that I work to help nowadays. Yep, I was “that kid.” Kindergarden was fine, but here are some rave reviews quoted directly from from my 1st grade conference reports:Slow worker. Very easily distracted. Loves school. Wants to be helpful. Very short attention span and never really gets into his work. Exhibits a very deep feeling and enjoyment. He loves stories. If I could only get him stimulated I know he would do well. He is a very thoughtful child. I think he is much brighter than he lets on and my hope is that as he matures and his short attention span increases, he will show greater academic progress.
Even in first grade I couldn’t fit in the box and it didn’t get better in later grades. The same sort of comments appeared; “he needs to try harder, daydreams, doesn’t pay attention, needs to focus more, lazy, not living up to his potential, if he would just…”
Of course I had strengths, but they weren’t built upon much through traditional schooling, and I needed tools & insights that simply weren’t available back then. So, to put it mildly, I struggled, I felt like a “failure” and felt a great deal of shame.
Patterns
Adopted at the ripe old age of 2 days to an incredible family in Columbus, OH, I was a happy kid, but I never felt like I quite fit in. The platinum blonde hair flying around was part of it, but there was a sense that I was somehow different on other levels. I was creative, my imagination was wild and vivid. I would draw entire story lines on giant rolls of paper, spanning 20 feet. I would collect random objects, take things apart, make inventions. Some of them even worked. I was a lover of the natural world, bugs, plants, animals, rocks. I was intuitive and highly sensitive to what was going on around me. And I was a free spirited dreamer, adventuring through my world. School would minimize this though.
Year after year, my grades slipped. Instead of developing my strengths, I tried to fit into the expectations of my teachers. Square peg, round hole. My frustration and hopelessness grew and I gave up trying. Unconsciously it came down to this: school wasn’t worth the effort since I just ended up feeling bad about myself anyhow. I wasn’t able to access learning in the way it was presented and I felt like a failure.
I was tested for learning disabilities in middle school and there were none. Ironically, I had a high IQ but there were no programs at the time, and just having that knowledge didn’t help me gain access to any strategies or tools to help.
So I floundered through high school. I did fine the first 2 years with minimal effort. I always was strong out of the gates, but quickly lost momentum and let my work slide. I couldn’t manage all the minutia so I didn’t do much homework or studying. If I did homework, I often didn’t turn it in. I didn’t know how to be a student in the system. It was as if the other kids got a student instruction book that I was never given.
My grades really began to suffer in the 11th and 12th grade. D’s and F’s became the norm and as I became more apathetic and as my parents became more concerned. They watched helplessly as I lied about how I was doing and as I pushed them away when they tried to help.
Somehow I graduated high school with horrible grades. But high SAT scores made it possible for me to enter Ball State University in a remedial program and on probation. The program required me to take 3 college classes in the summer, right after high school ended. I got 2 C’s and an A. And ironically the A was in Study Skills- I was always able to pull it together when the pressure was on, to make it “look” like I had things under control. At least it got people off my back for a bit.
I immediately failed the fall semester and was put on probation. I failed Spring semester, was kicked out, and moved back at home with the folks, looking for any job that would hire me.
I didn’t want to live with my parents- I wanted to be treated like an adult even though I acted like a kid. I ended up living with my grandmother, one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. Tried again at a community college in Columbus, Ohio. Same pattern- started strong, positive with new resolve. Things went downhill fast. Failed again.
By this time I was really hopeless and suffering internally. I felt like a complete failure and knew I would never be able to accomplish anything in life. What went wrong? Why was I broken? Why try? I gave up.
Turning it around
Then, one day, after months of self-pity, I hurt so bad that I decided I would do whatever I had to do to give life a real try once again. I was willing to do anything, including asking for help repeatedly until I got the help I needed. This was the hardest thing of all.
I began to change, slowly but surely. Momentum was building. I was having little successes. I got a job I liked. I went home from work feeling good about what I had done. There was meaning in my work, and ironically, I was working with kids and I was good at it.
I am so thankful for that job because it literally changed the course of my life. It was called AYS, in Indianapolis, I don’t know if it exists anymore. I worked with a woman named Candy Hammond- I have since lost touch with her and cannot locate her. Nonetheless, she was a BRILLIANT teacher, and she showed me that you could positively impact a child’s life, that you can make a real difference. She was my first mentor and neither of us knew it. She inspired me to want to be better at serving kids. I would watch in awe as she would artfully listen to the students on a level so deep, it was almost spiritual. She attuned to the kids, she saw what they really needed, but not as students first. She saw their needs as human beings first. There’s a critical distinction here. And I was in awe, I wanted to be able to help kids like she did. And this is how my professional journey began in 1993.
One day, while driving home from AYS, I was smiling and I realized that I wasn’t that hopeless person anymore. Somewhere in the past several months those things that made me hopeless had been put to sleep. I was alive, invigorated. I realized then that I always left work happy and it was at that moment that I dedicated my life to helping kids. I didn’t know how I would do it and I didn’t care. All I knew was that I needed to follow this path. So I went back to school to become a teacher and worked harder that I ever worked in my life. I probably worked harder than almost everyone in my classes. I literally would sit at my desk, sometimes reading the same sentence 10 times before it would sink in. Every trick I could think of to make learning easier I did. I didn’t know it, but I was coaching myself.

Through some twist of fate, I was asked to represent my graduating class at Indiana University by speaking at graduation. Me, the once hopeless failure. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that kids don’t have to suffer, that they can be successful and most importantly, happy.
But kids need the right tools. Schools need to meet students where they are at. They need to see students holistically and build upon strengths. Left brained students usually navigate the system just fine, as it aligns with their strengths. But there are so many outside-the-box thinkers that don’t fit the mold. They might be random, global, big picture, poor with details, creative, quirky, or otherwise divergent learners. The fact is that when struggling students are properly understood and taught, they shine.
Nowadays I love my life. I’ve built rich relationships a career that I’m passionate about, a healthy lifestyle, a positive outlook, fulfilling hobbies, and most important, I’m a happy person. So, in the greatest humility, I feel infinitely grateful that I ‘ve found my strengths. It’s my hope that I can share them with you here in such a way that it helps more and more kids have better and better lives.
Shine on,
Seth