Should we SWITCH to a new school?

Hey, what’s up? It’s me, Seth, with SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach based out of Boulder, Colorado.

Today I’m going to be talking about something a little different than I usually do: what to look for if you’re a parent searching for a new school for your child.

The other day, I was talking with my brother, who lives in Florida. He and his family are considering switching schools for one of their children this fall. During our conversation, I realized that when families ask me about choosing schools, I tend to repeat the same ideas over and over again.

So in this video, I’m going to share seven key concepts that I think every parent should consider when evaluating a new school.

I’ve been doing this work for a long time, and I’ve had countless conversations with families about schools, tutors, colleges, and educational choices. These are the seven points I always come back to.

1. Start with the Big Picture

The first and most important thing is to step back and ask yourself:

Why are we educating our child?

It’s easy to get caught up in grades, rankings, programs, and school reputations, but we often forget the bigger purpose of education.

Whether your child attends public school, private school, Montessori school, homeschool, unschool, or what I jokingly call the “School of Hard Knocks,” what ultimately matters is whether their education fulfills its purpose.

For me, the purpose of education is to help a child launch a great future.

If a child grows up and doesn’t have the tools they need to create a fulfilling life, then something has gone wrong somewhere along the way.

Ask yourself:

• What kind of future do I want for my child?

• Do I want them to feel free?

• Financially stable?

• Happy?

• Healthy?

• In meaningful relationships?

• Working in a career they enjoy?

Most parents want their children to be happy and successful, even if they define those terms differently.

The purpose of education is to give children the tools they need to create that future.

2. Remember: Every School Looks Good on Paper

Every school has a beautiful website.

Every school has an impressive mission statement.

Every school markets itself well.

I’ve seen many families enroll their child in a school because it promised amazing things, only to discover that the real experience didn’t match the marketing.

Be skeptical.

When a school says it’s a “great school,” ask yourself:

What metrics are they using to define greatness?

A highly rated school might also be:

• The least creative school.

• The most rigid school.

• The most conformity-focused school.

• The school with the highest pressure and perfectionism.

Likewise, a poorly rated school might have:

• Incredible teachers.

• Strong relationships.

• A caring and supportive community.

Don’t blindly trust ratings.

Think critically about what those ratings actually measure.

The Metrics I Think Matter Most

If I could choose metrics for evaluating schools, they would be:

1. Student Engagement – How engaged is your child?

2. Secure Relationships – Does your child feel safe and connected?

3. Long-Term Outcomes – Are former students happy, healthy, and successful years later?

Unfortunately, these are difficult things to measure, so schools tend to focus on test scores and grades instead.

3. Visit the School After School

One of my favorite pieces of advice is simple:

Go to the school after school lets out.

Sit nearby and watch.

Observe:

• The students.

• The parents.

• The teachers.

• The staff.

Ask yourself:

• Do the kids look happy?

• Do teachers seem energized or exhausted?

• Do parents appear connected and comfortable?

• Does the environment feel warm and welcoming?

You can learn a lot just by observing the atmosphere.

4. Think Carefully About Structure

Parents often assume that more structure is always better.

But that’s not necessarily true.

Some children thrive with structure.

Others need more freedom and creativity.

Some highly structured children actually benefit from being encouraged to take risks and think independently.

On the other hand, children who struggle with self-discipline may need more structure and support.

I’ve seen students from extremely unstructured educational environments enter middle school without strong foundations in math, writing, or organization.

There’s no universal answer.

The right amount of structure depends on your child.

5. Trust Your Gut

This is one I tell families all the time.

Pay attention to your instincts.

You can analyze every detail, compare every program, and read every review—but sometimes something just doesn’t feel right.

If your gut is telling you something is off, don’t ignore it.

Schools may tell you:

“Trust us. We know what we’re doing.”

Sometimes that’s true.

Sometimes it isn’t.

Trust yourself enough to investigate further.

6. Consider Values and Culture

Ask yourself:

Does this school’s culture align with our family’s values?

A school may seem fantastic on paper, but if its values don’t match yours, it may not be the right fit.

And remember: cultures evolve.

A school’s original mission may not be the same as the culture that exists today.

Spend time understanding:

• What the school truly values.

• How staff interact with students.

• What behaviors are encouraged.

• What success looks like in that environment.

7. Relationships Are Everything

This is the most important point of all.

Relationships with teachers matter more than anything else.

A child can attend a poorly rated school and still thrive if they have an excellent teacher who:

• Understands them.

• Supports them.

• Challenges them appropriately.

• Believes in them.

• Inspires them.

The quality of those relationships often matters far more than rankings or reputation.

Three Things to Look For

1. Secure Attachment

Does your child feel emotionally safe with their teachers?

If children feel safe, they are much more willing to take risks, learn, and grow.

2. Engagement

Is your child genuinely engaged?

Do teachers connect learning to your child’s interests, strengths, and passions?

Or is school mainly focused on fixing weaknesses and correcting mistakes?

3. Desire to Attend School

Does your child actually want to go to school?

Or at least, do they generally feel okay about going?

This simple question reveals a lot.

A Final Warning: Confirmation Bias

Be careful of confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias is when we look for evidence that supports what we already believe.

Parents do it.

Children do it.

Schools do it.

You might decide a school is amazing and then only notice information that confirms your opinion.

Challenge your assumptions.

Look honestly at both the strengths and weaknesses.

I’ve seen many families switch schools believing they found the perfect solution, only to discover it wasn’t the right fit after all.

One of the Saddest Things I Hear

One of the most heartbreaking things I hear from parents is:

“We’re just waiting for the school year to be over.”

When I hear that, I think:

This child is spending weeks or months in an environment where they don’t feel safe, engaged, supported, or inspired.

That’s a painful way to spend such a significant portion of childhood.

So if you’re considering a school change, choose carefully.

Think deeply.

And remember that the relationship your child has with their teachers may matter more than any ranking, program, or test score.

Again, my name is Seth Perler. I’m an executive function coach based in Boulder, Colorado, and I help struggling students learn how to navigate school.

If you’re looking for a new school for your child, what factors matter most to you? What questions do you ask when evaluating schools?

Share your thoughts, and have a great day. Take care.