Ending the school year: 3 don’ts & 8 dos

What’s up, everybody?

This is Seth from SethPerler.com, and I’ve got a list of some dos and don’ts for helping your child finish the school year successfully.

Sorry, my throat is a bit scratchy today.

If your child struggles with executive function—whether they’re in middle school, high school, college, or even fourth or fifth grade—this will be relevant to you. If your student struggles with organization, time management, homework, and all that stuff, I’ve got three don’ts and eight dos that can help.

It is the end of the school year. Today is Tuesday, May 15th. I’m in California, and many students here finish around June 8th. In other states, school ends at different times, but regardless of where you live, this is the final stretch.

If your student struggles, you’re going to want to hear this because I’m sharing some of my biggest tips. I wanted to do a webinar on this topic, but I simply don’t have the time this year. What I’m going to share with you are some of the key ideas I would have included in that webinar so you can apply them to your own situation and help your child finish the school year in the best possible way.

Don’t #1: Don’t Suffer Needlessly

What I mean by this is simple.

At the end of the semester, many students become unrealistic about the amount of time and effort required to finish strong.

If your child says things like:

“Leave me alone, Mom and Dad.”

“Stop bugging me.”

“I’ve got this.”

“Trust me.”

“I’ll talk to the teacher tomorrow.”

“I studied enough.”

“I already wrote that paper.”

“I don’t have any projects.”

“I don’t have any exams.”

And deep down you have that feeling in your stomach that something isn’t adding up, don’t ignore it.

If you feel concerned, you’re probably noticing something important.

Don’t suffer needlessly by convincing yourself everything is fine when you know better.

Don’t #2: Don’t Blindly Trust Your Child’s Assessment

Now, don’t take that the wrong way.

It’s not that your child is lying to you.

Students with executive function challenges often perceive situations differently than reality.

They genuinely believe:

“I can handle it.”

“I’ll do it later.”

“I’ll get it done tomorrow.”

“I can stay up until 1:00 a.m. and still finish everything.”

Their intentions are usually honest. The problem isn’t honesty—it’s that they may not have the executive function skills needed to accurately estimate time, prioritize tasks, or manage responsibilities.

So when they say, “I’ve got this,” understand that they may truly believe it, even when the facts suggest otherwise.

Your job is to support them and help them see reality more clearly.

Don’t #3: Don’t Enable Them

Supporting your child and enabling your child are not the same thing.

Enabling happens when your help actually hurts their long-term growth.

It can create larger relationship issues, prevent natural consequences, and teach children that someone will always rescue them.

If they never experience consequences, they’re less likely to develop responsibility and resilience.

Enabling can also mean doing too much for them and taking away opportunities for them to learn through experience.

The goal is to support them without taking over.

Now let’s talk about what you should do.

Do #1: Stay Emotionally Regulated

When you’re talking with your child, stay calm, centered, and grounded.

Don’t approach conversations with anger, frustration, lectures, or arguments.

Instead of:

“You need to finish your work!”

“You need to clean your backpack!”

“You need to do your homework!”

Try:

“Hey, we need to talk.”

Be calm, supportive, and focused.

Give them boundaries and allow natural consequences to exist. Natural consequences are different from punishments.

Children need to understand that actions have consequences. They may not like it, but learning this is essential for future success.

Your child may try to push your buttons—that’s part of adolescence.

Your job is to stay grounded and regulated.

Be caring, honest, supportive, and strong.

Do #2: Email the Teachers

If you don’t have clarity, get clarity.

If your child tells you everything is fine but you’re not convinced, email the teachers.

Keep it simple:

“Hi, I need some clarity about what’s happening in class. Could you please let me know about any missing assignments, upcoming projects, exams, or concerns? I’d appreciate any information that will help me support my child.”

You need accurate information in order to help effectively.

Do #3: Check the Student Portal

Don’t simply ask your child if they’ve checked their grades.

Look for yourself.

Review the portal thoroughly.

Check for:

• Missing assignments

• Late work

• Incomplete work

• Zeros

• Low grades

• Upcoming deadlines

Get a complete picture of what’s happening.

If your child is like many of the students I work with, you’ll probably discover some surprises.

Do #4: Have a Heart-to-Heart Conversation

Sit your child down and talk face-to-face.

Tell them:

“I love you.”

“I care about you.”

“I want you to have a great future.”

“I’m not convinced everything is going as smoothly as it needs to, and I want to support you.”

Talk about your concerns.

Listen to their perspective.

Remove distractions.

No phones.

No computers.

No television.

Just a genuine conversation where both of you can be heard.

Do #5: Prepare Them for Important Conversations

Don’t spring serious discussions on them unexpectedly.

Instead, give them advance notice.

Say something like:

“Tonight at 6:00, we’re going to sit down and talk for about 30 minutes. We’ll discuss school and life. I’ll listen to you, and you’ll listen to me.”

Giving them time to prepare mentally often leads to much more productive conversations.

Do #6: Be Proactive

This is one of the biggest mistakes parents make.

Don’t wait until the last minute.

If your child needs a tutor, get one.

If you need to email a teacher, do it.

If additional support is required, take action now.

Don’t keep waiting while your child repeatedly says, “I’ve got this.”

Be proactive and do what needs to be done.

Do #7: Overhaul the Backpack, Planner, and Study Space

This week, help your child organize everything.

Go through:

• Their backpack

• Their folders

• Their planner

• Their assignments

• Their study area

At this point in the school year, their energy is better spent on:

• Completing missing work

• Studying for exams

• Writing papers

• Finishing projects

• Completing reading assignments

If you need to help organize things—or even organize them yourself—that’s okay.

The goal is to reduce unnecessary obstacles so they can focus on finishing strong.

Do #8: Find What’s Going Right

Praise your child.

Tell them what you notice.

Tell them what they’re doing well.

I often talk about the 3-to-1 rule:

For every criticism or correction, try to give three sincere compliments.

For example:

“I noticed how kind you were to your sister.”

“I noticed that you put your dishes away without being asked.”

“I’m proud of how hard you’ve been trying.”

Or simply:

“I love you, and I’m proud of the person you’re becoming.”

These compliments must be genuine.

Don’t make things up.

Notice real strengths, real effort, and real progress.

Children need to hear those things.

Final Thoughts

Parents, this is the final stretch.

What you do right now matters.

You’ve got this.

Good luck finishing the school year strong.

If you’d like more support, you can find me at SethPerler.com and subscribe to my blog.

If you found this helpful, please share it with someone who could benefit from it, leave a comment, and give it a thumbs-up.

I appreciate your support.

Take care.