HOW to handle work over THANKSGIVING break

Hey, what’s up? It’s me, Seth Perler from SethPerler.com.

I am an executive function and 2E coach based in Boulder, Colorado. I help struggling students navigate this thing called school.

In this video, I’m going to talk about Thanksgiving break, the problems my students encounter over Thanksgiving break with their parents and school-related responsibilities, and exactly what to do about it.

Parents, if you’re starting Thanksgiving break now, I really recommend that you listen to this video. And if your student struggles at all, listen to this video and just hear me out.

So, here’s what happens during Thanksgiving break.

There are a few main problems that come up.

Number one: inaccurate reporting.

If your child struggles with executive function, their ability to accurately tell you what needs to be done over Thanksgiving break—or what doesn’t need to be done—is often inaccurate. Their ability to execute the things that do need to be done over break is also often inaccurate.

They tend to underestimate the amount of time and energy required to complete their work, and they tend to overestimate how well they’re doing. They also tend to have ineffective strategies for getting things done over break.

The last problem you’re likely to encounter is something I call PEPPER.

Here’s what’s happening.

If your child is a struggling student, they’ve probably started the semester strong. Then they hit what I call “the dip,” where their grades take a nosedive about six to eight weeks into the semester.

After that, you’ve spent the rest of the semester trying to help them dig themselves out of holes, swim upstream, deal with makeup work, incomplete assignments, zeros, and other issues. You’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on so you can help them succeed.

At this point, your child is either under a lot of stress trying to catch up, avoiding it completely, or somewhere in between.

So, what happens is this:

They go through the dip, then they spend time swimming upstream, and now we’re at the Hail Mary part of the semester.

The last two to four weeks of the semester are what I call the Hail Mary phase. The reason is that, just like a Hail Mary pass in football, students are desperately trying to pull things together so they can pass their classes and avoid retaking courses.

Now, during this Hail Mary period, there’s a big problem called PEPPER.

Not only are they dealing with makeup work, incomplete assignments, missing work, test corrections, and old tasks, but they’re also dealing with current work. On top of that, they’re facing the end-of-semester workload.

PEPPER refers to long-term assignments that tend to bottleneck at the end of the semester.

This includes:

• Papers that need to be written

• Exams that need to be studied for

• Projects that need to be completed

• Large reading assignments that need to be finished

During this PEPPER phase, students often plan very ineffectively.

They have these huge assignments looming that are due right before winter break, but they keep procrastinating. They think they’ll get to them later.

Then suddenly it’s the night before they’re due.

If you’re lucky, they tell you the night before. Some students even forget the assignment is due the next day.

So these are the problems happening right now.

If they aren’t addressed realistically, your child may end up failing classes.

What to Do Over Thanksgiving Break

1. Don’t take “I’ve got this” at face value.

When your child says:

“Leave me alone. I’ve got this.”

“Everything’s fine.”

“I already took care of it.”

Don’t automatically believe that everything is under control.

Students who struggle with executive function often do not have a realistic perception of what’s happening or how they’re performing in their classes.

Instead, thoroughly check the school portal.

Don’t just look at percentages. Look at the detailed view. Figure out exactly what’s happening in each class and whether anything needs to be completed over break.

2. Contact teachers for clarity.

If you’re concerned, email teachers and ask for clarification.

I always recommend parents use the word clarity in advocacy emails.

For example:

“Hi, I need some clarity about what’s going on.”

Ask:

• What does my child need to be doing?

• Is there anything that needs to be completed during break?

• Are there any PEPPER assignments coming up?

• Are there papers, projects, exams, or large reading assignments that require long-term planning right now?

3. Do a systems overhaul.

Over Thanksgiving break, help your child overhaul their systems.

This includes:

• Backpacks

• Folders

• Papers

• School materials

• Study spaces

Go through everything.

Figure out:

• What’s missing?

• What still needs to be done?

• What still needs to be turned in?

• What can be thrown away?

Reorganize the backpack and paper systems.

Also update the planner.

Rip out old pages, clean it up, and prepare it for the final stretch of the semester.

If your child struggles with executive function, they aren’t naturally strong planners yet. Help them build those planning skills.

A systems overhaul usually takes about an hour.

4. Schedule large chunks of work time.

Many parents assume their child can do 20 minutes of homework each day during Thanksgiving break.

For students who struggle with executive function, that’s often unrealistic.

These students are not maintenance-oriented. They’re not naturally good at doing small chunks consistently every day.

Instead, plan larger work blocks.

For example, I have a college student who has a major paper due after break. Rather than waiting until he gets back, he’s scheduled two or three work sessions lasting two to four hours each over Thanksgiving break.

Chunk the work into meaningful blocks.

For example:

• Friday: 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.

• Wednesday: 1.5 hours of reading

• Friday: another 1.5 hours of reading

• Sunday: another 1.5 hours of reading

Large chunks work better because these students often need 30 to 60 minutes just to get started and gain momentum.

Factor that startup time into your plans.

5. Make time to enjoy your child.

After you’ve:

• Gathered clarity

• Reorganized systems

• Planned the work

• Scheduled the time

Take a break from school.

Tell your child:

“On Thanksgiving Day, I’m not going to talk about school.”

Or:

“On Saturday, school is off-limits.”

Many of the students I work with constantly fear being questioned about school. They don’t know when the conversation is coming, how long it will last, or what they’ll be asked.

That uncertainty creates stress.

Give them a break when it’s appropriate.

When you do need to discuss school, be direct.

Say:

“Hey, I need to talk with you about school. It’ll take about 20 minutes.”

Then have the conversation.

I’m not saying this is easy. I know many parents face very challenging situations.

I’m simply offering guidelines that can help.

Be concrete. Give them freedom from school conversations at certain times, and follow through on what you promise.

Finally, enjoy your time together.

Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, I like to think of this season as a time for gratitude and family.

However you choose to celebrate, remember that the most important thing is quality time with the people you care about.

Again, my name is Seth Perler. I’m an executive function coach in Boulder, Colorado.

If you liked this video, please subscribe to my blog, where I share great tips for parents. You can also subscribe on YouTube.

And go ahead and leave a comment:

What’s one takeaway you got from this video?

Or, what helps your child get done what they need to get done in a sane and healthy way during this time of year?

Have a fantastic week, and I’ll see you in a week.