How to Help Kids with ADHD this Summer

Hey everybody, what’s up? It’s me, Seth, with SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach based in Colorado, and I help struggling students navigate this thing called education so they can have a great life.

Today, I’m here with Brendan Mahan. I’m on his podcast, and he’s on my YouTube channel. So hello, everybody!

“All right, Seth, how are you? How’s it going? How’s COVID and all the fun shifts in our days?”

Gosh, yeah. I guess one thing at a time. How’s it going? You know, I’m having a good moment. I’m glad to see you and glad to be here with you today, hopefully sharing some things that will help some families.

My mental health is pretty good overall, but I definitely go through ups and downs with everything going on. Sometimes my energy feels really strange right now.

I will say that sleep has been saving my mental health. Connection—as much connection as I can have, because I’ve been pretty isolated—has really helped too. Hiking and moving my body have also been incredibly important for my mental health.

I still get these waves of weirdness, but overall I’m doing pretty well.

At the same time, I’m very disturbed by a lot of what’s been happening in the news and by the suffering people are experiencing. You and I work with kids because we want them to have a really good world to live in. We want them to grow up in a place where they can have happy and successful lives—all kids.

We don’t need to get deeply into politics, but I know both of us believe that all kids matter. We want every child to have access to a great education.

There have been countless inequities in education for as long as we can remember, and kids who struggle with executive function and ADHD are even more at risk than neurotypical kids when it comes to creating a great life. So when there are inequities on top of legitimate struggles related to their neurodiversity, it becomes even more important that we support these kids intentionally.

“Yeah, and that’s what we’re here to talk about, right? How do we support kids with ADHD and executive functioning challenges? How do we support the parents of those kids, especially when the parents may also struggle with executive function, ADHD, or structure?”

As a parent myself, I completely relate to what you said about waves. There are moments when things feel manageable, and there are moments when everything feels difficult.

My kids just started summer vacation this week. As someone with ADHD who has kids at home, runs a business, and has a wife who is now back at work as a scientist doing lab work, it’s been a challenge navigating all of these responsibilities alongside everything happening in the world.

I feel pulled in many directions. I often feel like I’m not doing a good job in any one area. I’m trying to resist the dopamine rush of arguing on social media or watching TV instead of editing a podcast episode. I’m trying to stay focused on the things that actually matter, but it’s incredibly challenging.

So I’d love to start there—talking about how parents can support themselves while also supporting their kids.

“Cool. Well, before we dive in, Brendan, do you want to tell my audience a little about who you are?”

“Sure. My name is Brendan Mahan. I’m the host of the ADHD Essentials podcast, and I’m an ADHD coach, consultant, and speaker.

I used to do workshops for schools, though now everything is more virtual instead of in person. I also run online parent coaching groups and work one-on-one with clients.”

Brendan and I first spoke about a year ago. I remember being in Portland, Oregon, at a conference I attend every year. I stepped outside on a cloudy Portland summer day and paced around downtown while talking to Brendan on the phone and getting to know him.

Then we did a podcast together, and now we’re reconnecting again, which has been really good.

One thing you mentioned earlier really stood out to me. You said, “I feel like I’m not doing everything I want to be doing.”

I think a lot of parents and teachers feel that way right now.

One important concept I want to bring up is the idea of collective global trauma. The entire planet is experiencing stress and uncertainty together right now.

Because we’re all so connected, we’re constantly aware of what’s happening around the world, and that affects our nervous systems and our executive functioning.

Trauma impacts the prefrontal cortex—our ability to prioritize, focus, motivate ourselves, and execute tasks. There’s this constant low-level hum of stress running in the background for many people.

Our bodies are sensing danger and uncertainty all the time:
“What’s the next threat?”
“What’s happening in my community?”
“What’s happening with my family?”

That chronic stress interferes with executive functioning, especially for kids and families already dealing with ADHD and executive function struggles.

So if you’re feeling constantly stressed right now, that feeling is legitimate. We really are living through collective global trauma.

I want people to honor that. Listen to your nervous system. Pay attention to your boundaries and needs—physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially.

“I agree,” Brendan said. “I talk with my clients about that a lot. We have to recognize that we are living through a global trauma, and in some places there are additional cultural traumas layered on top of that.

Then there are personal struggles too—loss, illness, financial stress. We’re all navigating a tremendous amount of difficulty right now.”

Exactly.

And within all of this, we still want to preserve our mental health and help our kids preserve theirs too.

This can also become an opportunity to model emotional intelligence for our children. Difficult emotions are part of life. Our kids will face them throughout adulthood, whether in relationships, careers, or major life decisions.

What we want is for them to learn how to make thoughtful decisions while navigating emotions—not simply be ruled by emotions or by pure logic.

We’ve all had moments in life where we look back and think, “If I could do that over again, I would handle it differently.”

This difficult period can become a learning opportunity. We can help our kids develop resilience and emotional awareness.

“Right,” Brendan added. “And that also means practicing the basics: sleep, movement, nutrition, and structure.”

That’s such an important point.

When stress increases, self-care often falls apart. For some people, that means eating more junk food or spending too much time on screens because those things provide short-term comfort or dopamine.

But one thing we can model for our kids is self-compassion.

We all have an inner critic that tells us we’re failing or not doing enough. Can we learn to respond to that voice with kindness instead of shame?

If we want our children to be compassionate toward themselves, we need to model self-compassion ourselves.

Brendan mentioned that he actually gave his inner critic a name—“Zack”—because it helps him separate himself from those negative thoughts.

That’s a really powerful strategy.

We often tell people things like, “Just stop thinking about it,” but that isn’t actually helpful. Giving kids tools and language to work with difficult thoughts is much more effective.

Another critical thing is connection.

In order for kids to listen to us and trust us, we need to build strong relationships with them.

A lot of parents ask me:
“How do I get my child to buy in?”
“How do I help them take ownership?”

The answer always starts with connection.

Sometimes families need a lot of repair and rebuilding before those conversations can really happen, but connection always comes first.

That means spending time together, laughing together, playing games, watching movies, having hard conversations, repairing arguments, and simply being human together.

No parent is perfect. Family life is messy. That’s okay.

The important thing is continuing to invest in the relationship.

Brendan shared a great example of this. He talked about going on bike rides with his kids or grabbing pizza together and simply talking about what kind of adventures they wanted to have over the summer.

Those moments of connection helped him relax and reconnect with what really matters.

We also talked about summer structure and executive functioning.

Should parents still focus on executive functioning skills during the summer?

Absolutely.

School will come back eventually, and future school models may be even more demanding from an executive functioning standpoint because of transitions, virtual learning, uncertainty, and changing expectations.

That doesn’t mean kids need rigid schedules all summer long, but they do benefit from structure.

Brendan described how his family uses a loose hour-by-hour schedule posted on the wall. It provides predictability while still allowing flexibility.

That balance is important because kids with executive function struggles often suffer both from too little structure and too much structure.

We’re always trying to find that sweet spot:
enough structure to create safety and predictability, and enough freedom to allow flexibility, creativity, and autonomy.

We also talked about using the summer for “micro-projects.”

These can include:

* Organizing a bedroom
* Cleaning out digital files
* Learning to cook
* Fixing something around the house
* Planning adventures
* Building things
* Practicing life skills

All of those activities build executive functioning.

We often underestimate how much learning happens through real-life experiences.

For example, fixing a grill involves:

* Planning
* Problem-solving
* Reading instructions
* Math
* Organization
* Safety awareness
* Time management

That’s executive functioning in action.

Another important idea we discussed was opportunity cost.

Every time we choose one activity, we are also choosing not to do something else.

If a child spends every day gaming for ten hours, they are not investing time into movement, relationships, learning, creativity, or skill development.

This isn’t about shaming kids for screens. It’s about helping them build a balanced life that supports their long-term well-being.

One of my biggest concerns is seeing kids invest only in short-term dopamine rewards while neglecting the habits and skills that help create a healthy future.

At the same time, we don’t want families living under constant pressure and perfectionism either.

It’s always about balance.

As we wrapped up, Brendan asked if I had any final thoughts.

My biggest message is this:

Yes, executive functioning still matters during the summer. But more importantly, don’t forget to connect with your child and enjoy your time together.

Your child only gets so many summers at home.

There will always be responsibilities and conflicts, but don’t forget to laugh, play, connect, and create meaningful memories together.

That relationship is the foundation for everything else.

“Awesome,” Brendan said. “Thank you very much. That was great.”

“All right, buddy. Great to see you.”

“Good to see you too.”