🧠 “My son failed ALL of his classes” (Executive Function, ADHD, 2e, NeuroDivergence)

Hey, what’s up, parents, teachers, and maybe some students?

Today, we’re going to break down an email I received from a parent about their child, who is going into high school this fall and failed all of their classes. I know what that’s like—I’ve failed all of my classes multiple times. The impact it had on me was pretty negative, and it can be very destructive if we don’t handle it correctly.

This is a really great example of how to look at a situation like this.

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I’m not going to say who the parent was—we’ll keep it anonymous—but here’s the gist of the email. I’ll read it to you (it’s short), then break it down and share five key takeaways.

Parents, you’ll definitely want to pay attention. Students, this may help you too. And teachers—this will be especially helpful for you.

By the way, for all the teachers out there who are proactive, supportive, and trying to understand neurodiverse kids—thank you. We need you. It matters.

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Hi, my name is Seth Perler from SethPerler.com. You can find resources and freebies on my site. Please share my work if you find it helpful. I also have a summit called ExecutiveFunctionSummit.com—check it out.

Alright, let’s dive in.

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Here’s what the email says:

“For the first time, my son failed all of his classes and had no clue because the portal showed passing grades until after they closed. Now the school is finally willing to do an IEP. The grades 100% reflect not turning in work and the work not being challenging enough.

We had a great meeting. I mentioned your resources for ADHD and 2E kids, and the school was super open to me sending them your content. The teacher on the team advocated for him, explaining how he’s bored in other classes and needs to be challenged.

They are willing to get rid of all the busy work that does not enhance learning. Thanks to you, it was a good experience. Our conversation came at a perfect time. He’s going to get the resources he needs before heading off to high school next year.

Grateful for all your support for parents like me.”

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Let’s break this down so you can apply it to help the kids in your life.

First, the parent says: “My son failed all of his classes.”

The first time this happens, it can be shocking, disheartening, and deeply discouraging. It can really impact a child’s self-esteem. I remember thinking, “I’m a lazy failure.” That inner critic is not a good place to be.

Before anything else, we need to acknowledge how bad this feels. Instead of jumping straight to punishment or lectures, we need to recognize that this is a human being who needs emotional support.

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Next, the student had no idea because the portal showed passing grades until it was too late.

That’s a big problem. Everything looked fine—but it wasn’t. This happens more often than you might think.

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Then the school was finally willing to create an IEP.

It’s frustrating that sometimes things have to get really bad before schools provide support. In many cases, there’s resistance to giving kids the help they need. That’s discouraging—but in this case, at least they’re now moving in the right direction.

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The parent points out that the grades reflected two main issues: not turning in work and the work not being challenging enough.

This is important. We want to look for patterns in grades. Are they not turning in work? Failing tests? Doing one but not the other?

Patterns tell us what support is needed. In this case, not turning in work is clearly an executive function issue.

Also, for 2E (twice-exceptional) kids, the level of challenge matters. Sometimes, more challenging work actually leads to better engagement.

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The parent says they had a great meeting—which is awesome.

Most teachers really do want to help students succeed. It’s great to hear when collaboration works.

The school was “super open” to receiving resources. That’s a big win, because not all schools are receptive.

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A teacher on the team advocated for the student, explaining that he was bored and needed more challenge.

This is huge. Having a “cheerleader” on the team—someone who understands and supports the student—can make a big difference.

If possible, identify and connect with these people before meetings so they can help advocate effectively.

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The school agreed to eliminate busy work that doesn’t enhance learning.

This is powerful. Sometimes schools just need things framed the right way. Even the phrase “busy work that does not enhance learning” is useful language to use in conversations.

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Now, let’s go through the five key takeaways.

1. Ask the right question: Who failed whom?
Did the student fail the classes, or did the system fail to meet the student’s needs? Be honest in how you look at it.

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2. Advocate proactively.
Don’t wait until things fall apart. Early in the semester, ask teachers:

* Are grades in the portal up to date?
* When are they updated?
* How will I know if something is missing?

Clarity early on prevents major problems later.

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3. Identify needed executive function skills and systems.
If a student isn’t turning in work, what systems are missing? Planning? Organization? Time management?

Focus on building systems—not just reacting to outcomes.

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4. Be the squeaky wheel.
Ask for what your child needs. Even if you face resistance, keep advocating.

In this case, it worked—they removed unnecessary work and made meaningful changes.

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5. Understand the value of being proactive.
So many parents say, “I wish we had done this earlier.”

These skills don’t develop on their own. Taking action early can completely change a child’s trajectory—reducing stress, improving outcomes, and increasing quality of life.

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Because this family acted now, the student will enter high school with better support. That’s huge.

It’s not just about fixing this year—it’s about setting up long-term success.

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That’s it for today.

My name is Seth Perler from SethPerler.com. If you find this helpful, check out the site and sign up for updates. Feel free to share my work.

What do you think about this situation? Can you relate? Do you have insights that could help others?

Drop a comment below.

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I wish you peace of mind, joy in your heart, and strong connections with the people you care about—especially the kids in your life.

Take care.