PARENT & TEACHER Exec Function Problems? Educational Solutions, SethPerler.com

Hey, parents and teachers. It’s Seth from SethPerler.com.

If you haven’t checked out my blog, go ahead and visit SethPerler.com.

I received an email from someone that said:

“Hey, I heard you on the Tilt Parenting Podcast and loved everything you had to say. My son is twice-exceptional, but he’s only in third grade, so I think he’s still too young to benefit from your coaching.

I was wondering if your blog has ever addressed what to do if a parent also suffers from executive functioning issues. Going through my son’s journey with him made me realize that I also have ADHD, inattentive type, and a lot of executive functioning issues. I’m really struggling with being able to help my son get organized because I’m not organized. I end up feeling terrible about myself because I feel like I’m failing my son.

Thanks for all you do.”

— Jill

In this video, I’m going to address that part of the question—the parent part.

I made another video about younger students and how to help them with executive function, but I get this question from parents and teachers all the time.

You know the saying: the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Sometimes I work with parents who are extremely organized. Their executive functioning is exceptional, and they genuinely cannot understand why their child struggles so much. They’re baffled.

But I also work with parents and teachers who struggle with executive function themselves. They wonder:

“How do I help my child when I’m struggling with the exact same things?”

So I’m going to share ten quick ideas.

1. Downsize Your Life

Parents and teachers, if you want to help your child with executive function, one of the best things you can do is downsize your life.

Minimize.

Simplify.

I personally spent well over a year downsizing my life. At one point, I got everything I owned down to ten boxes and moved to Hawaii with just two small bags.

Now, you don’t have to go to that extreme, but you do want to reduce the amount of stuff you own.

I knew a guy named Lou many years ago. Lou lived in a huge mansion with four wings. He even had a separate house where someone lived just to manage the property. He had a six-car garage and a tremendous amount of stuff.

One thing Lou said always stuck with me:

“The more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to manage.”

And he was absolutely right.

Declutter.

Get rid of things.

Minimize.

Look through your child’s clothes and donate what they don’t wear.

Go through old books.

Get rid of toys they no longer use.

Help them manage fewer things.

At the same time, model that behavior in your own life.

You don’t want your child growing into an adult who is overwhelmed by clutter.

The less stuff you have, the easier it becomes to manage your life.

Really think about where your time and energy are going and whether downsizing could help.

2. Give Everything a Home

This advice is especially for parents and teachers who are not naturally organized.

If you’re naturally organized, you’re probably bored already and don’t need this video!

But if executive function is a struggle, give everything a designated home.

And label those homes clearly.

For example, have one box for chargers, batteries, cables, and electronics. Label it on all sides.

If you have board games, keep them in one closet, cabinet, or shelf—not scattered throughout the house.

If your kitchen has cups spread across multiple cabinets, decide what you actually use and keep them together.

The concept of a “home” applies everywhere:

• The garage

• The basement

• Bedrooms

• Bathrooms

• Closets

• The kitchen

Everything should have a clear, identifiable place where it belongs.

3. Make Everything Visual

Visual. Visual. Visual.

If you struggle with executive function, make your reminders impossible to miss.

Use bright colors.

Use sticky notes.

Put reminders directly in front of your face.

Right now, I have sticky notes attached to my computer monitor with my most important tasks for today.

Remember:

Out of sight is out of mind.

Make responsibilities, routines, systems, and priorities as visible as possible.

4. Use Timers

Use digital timers.

Timers help you start tasks.

They help you stay focused.

They help you remember what you’re supposed to be doing.

People with executive function challenges often struggle to initiate and complete important tasks.

Timers provide visual, auditory, and physical cues that help keep you on track.

And they’re a great thing for your children to see you using as well.

5. Overhaul Your Systems

If a system in your life isn’t working, overhaul it.

Don’t just make tiny adjustments.

If your scheduling system is broken, redesign it.

If your garage is out of control, reorganize the whole thing.

If your bathroom cabinets are a mess, go through every item.

If your taxes are disorganized, create a better system.

If you have ten different to-do lists, consolidate them.

Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.

Overhaul one system at a time and make it truly effective.

Small changes often aren’t enough when a system is fundamentally broken.

6. Take Tech-Free Breaks

Give yourself tech-free days or tech-free periods.

Some people call this a digital Sabbath.

Create time when you’re completely disconnected from screens, notifications, and technology.

Allow your nervous system to rest and recover.

7. Practice Self-Care

Parents, you need to model self-care.

If your children never see you taking care of yourself, they’ll learn that self-care isn’t important.

Take care of yourself.

Get enough sleep.

Exercise.

Eat nutritious food.

Make time for activities that help you recharge.

Whether that’s fitness, hobbies, relaxation, or even a massage, take care of yourself.

Your kids are always watching.

8. Work on Emotional Regulation

If you struggle with executive function, you may also struggle with emotional regulation.

This can show up as:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Overwhelm

• Frustration

• Stress

Work on managing your emotional well-being.

Practice mindfulness.

Meditate.

Journal.

Talk with a therapist.

Use whatever tools help you maintain a calm, healthy, and balanced nervous system.

9. Live on Purpose

Executive function challenges can make it harder to follow through on meaningful goals.

Ask yourself:

• What gives me meaning?

• What gives me joy?

• What is my purpose?

The better you become at managing your life and executing important tasks, the more energy you’ll have to focus on what truly matters.

Make sure you’re intentionally creating a life that aligns with your values.

10. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

This final point is actually two points.

First, don’t take yourself too seriously.

Don’t take every problem so seriously.

Know when to let go.

Know when to detach.

Ask yourself:

“How important is this, really?”

Often, it isn’t nearly as important as it feels.

The second part is even more important.

Remember the most important thing:

Your relationship with your child.

More important than grades.

More important than homework.

More important than school drama.

More important than almost anything else.

Spend quality time together.

Enjoy one another.

Create positive memories.

Have conversations that aren’t about school, assignments, or problems.

Yes, there is a time and place for discussing challenges, but don’t let those discussions define your relationship.

You’re raising a human being.

The relationship you build with your child will provide the greatest return in the future.

That’s what creates lasting memories.

That’s what truly matters.

So those are a few ideas that I hope help.

Have a great day.

And if you found this video helpful, please share it with someone. That really helps me.

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And feel free to leave a comment below.

Take care.

Bye-bye.