Parenting, Isolation, and Supporting Children with Executive Function Challenges

Seth Perler:
Hey everybody, what’s up? It’s me, Seth from SethPerler.com and the Executive Function Online Summit. I’m here today with Yulia Rafailova, an executive function coach based in Los Angeles.

We’re going to talk about what it’s like to be a parent of a child who struggles with ADHD or executive function challenges, how isolating that experience can feel, and why so many parents feel alone. We’ll also talk a little about the summit.

Yulia, what’s up?

Yulia Rafailova:
Hey Seth! I’m excited for the conference.

Seth:
Good! Me too. We’re starting tomorrow at 8 a.m. on Friday, August 23rd.

You and I both work with many families, and after we’ve been working with parents for a while, they often open up to us about what’s really going on. Sometimes they cry. They tell us about their struggles, frustrations, and fears.

A lot of them feel very isolated.

Can you help us unpack that a little? What patterns do you see, and what have you learned?

The Shame Parents Carry

Yulia:
Sure.

It’s hard for parents because they often feel a lot of shame about the struggles their children are experiencing.

We talk a lot about the messages kids receive—messages that suggest there’s something wrong with them, that they’re not trying hard enough, or that they’re lazy. Those messages can be incredibly damaging.

But parents are receiving messages too.

They’re hearing things from teachers, family members, and other people around them. They start feeling ashamed and begin wondering whether there’s something wrong with them as parents.

They think:

“Maybe I’m not doing enough.”
“If only I could figure this out.”
“If only I knew what to do.”

So both the parent and the child end up carrying these painful messages, which creates a lot of stress and strain in the relationship.

One thing I love about this conference is that it helps remove the shame and allows us to have honest conversations about how to support these kids.

Feeling Like You’re the Only One

Seth:
Yeah, absolutely.

I think many parents feel like they’re the only ones dealing with this.

Somehow it feels like everyone else got an instruction manual for parenting, while they’re struggling alone. Social media makes it seem like every other family is perfectly happy and successful.

But that’s not reality, is it?

Yulia:
Not at all.

I think every parent I’ve ever met has compared their child to someone else’s child.

There’s always a kid who seems to be doing better.

What I love about the conference—and about the conversations happening in your Facebook group—is that people are openly talking about these challenges.

That changes everything.

People are finally able to share their stories, which is rare. Most parents tell me:

“I can’t talk to my parents about this.”
“I can’t talk to the school about this.”
“I can’t talk to my neighbors about this.”

They feel completely isolated.

Social Isolation Affects Children Too

Yulia:
There’s another side to this as well.

Children who struggle with executive function often have difficulty building and maintaining healthy friendships.

Parents tell me all the time that their child isn’t invited to birthday parties or social events.

They hear other parents talking about parties and gatherings, while their child isn’t included and may not even realize what’s happening.

So the isolation isn’t just happening in the parent community—it affects the children too.

Kids Often Feel Different

Seth:
Exactly.

We all carry subconscious ideas about how people are “supposed” to behave and what’s considered acceptable.

Many kids with executive function challenges—whether it’s impulsivity or something else—end up feeling different. They feel left out. They begin to believe there’s something wrong with them.

They start internalizing those messages.

That’s why bringing people together is so powerful.

We already have over 8,000 people registered for this summit.

Think about that—8,000 people saying:

“Yes, I want to learn more about this.”

Many of those parents have felt isolated, but they’re not alone.

Executive function challenges are incredibly common. Some estimates suggest that one in four or one in five children struggles with these issues.

And many parents don’t have a safe place to talk about it.

That’s why the summit and the Facebook group matter so much. People can finally say:

“I’m not crazy.”
“I’m not alone.”
“There are solutions.”
“Experts have been studying and helping with these challenges for years.”

Taking the First Step

Yulia:
And people can be vulnerable.

They can say:

“I’m human.”
“This is what I’m going through.”

There’s no shame in that.

Seth:
Exactly.

But it can be really difficult to take that first step and be vulnerable.

Sometimes people worry they’ll be judged.

They’re afraid someone might say:

“You’re a bad parent.”
“You’re doing something wrong.”

But that’s usually not what happens.

Most people respond with understanding because they’ve been through similar experiences.

What Happens If You Purchase the Summit?

Yulia:
Seth, can you explain what people get if they decide to purchase the summit?

I know the conference itself is free, which is amazing, but what additional resources are included?

Seth:
Absolutely.

The summit is a free three-day online event. During those three days, you’ll have access to about eight expert presentations per day at no cost.

For those who purchase the summit package, they’ll also receive:

• Full transcripts

• Audio recordings

• Downloadable video files

• Permanent access to all content

• The ability to rewatch presentations anytime

In addition, each expert has created an implementation resource.

This might be:

• A PDF guide

• A worksheet

• A video

• An audio lesson

The purpose is simple:

Instead of just learning information, parents leave with concrete action steps they can implement immediately.

That was very important to me because I wanted people to walk away knowing exactly what to do next.

Bonus Resources for Kids

Seth:
There’s another feature I’m especially excited about.

Every expert also created a short video directly for kids.

Parents often tell me:

“My child won’t listen to me.”

Sometimes kids need to hear the same message from someone else.

So each expert recorded a short five-to-ten-minute video speaking directly to children.

The message is basically:

“Hey kiddo, here’s what I’ve learned. I hope this helps.”

I wanted those videos to feel personal and heartfelt.

A Different Tone When Speaking to Kids

Yulia:
I really enjoyed making my video for kids.

I’m excited for them to watch it because I genuinely think it will help.

Seth:
Absolutely.

We naturally speak differently to kids than parents do.

Parents often say things like:

“You should…”
“I told you…”
“Why don’t you just…”

And kids often stop listening.

Sometimes hearing the same message from another adult makes all the difference.

Closing Thoughts

Yulia:
Well, I’m really looking forward to the summit.

Seth:
Me too.

We’ll be sharing information about it and encouraging people to join the Facebook group as well.

Yulia:
Sounds great.

Seth:
All right, take care, Yulia.

Yulia:
Bye, everybody!