WHACK-a-MOLE: Why helping kids with Executive Function is like the game Whack-a Mole

Some teachers remember that game called Whack-a-Mole. You put a quarter in the machine, and it gives you this big giant hammer with a soft thing on the end of it. Then these moles pop up from the holes, and you take the hammer and whack them down. You whack them on the head, and they go down. Then another one pops up, and then another one, and another one. You never know where they’re going to come from.

That is very much what it’s like when you’re helping students who struggle with executive function.

Parents, teachers — my name is Seth with South Pearl Accom. I’m an executive function coach based in Colorado, and I help struggling students navigate this thing called education so they can have a great future.

These kids are at risk. This is no joke. This is the truth. Please take this very seriously. If these kids do not develop good enough executive function skills, they are at risk of having a lot of problems when they’re older and may not be able to achieve the things that are important to them once they figure out what those things are.

As we’re trying to serve these kids, helping them can feel like playing Whack-a-Mole. This is what I specialize in. This is the work I do.

When I’m working with a family or a student, I’m trying to get them from Point A to Point B. Point A is where they have all these executive function struggles and people are worried: “Oh my gosh, if this kid doesn’t figure it out, they’re really going to struggle.” Point B is where parents, teachers, and the student can all take a sigh of relief and say, “This kid’s going to be okay.”

In helping students get from Point A to Point B, there are different profiles of kids I work with, but generally speaking, it takes one, two, three, or even four semesters to create enough change where they’ve really got it. It depends on what skills they already have when they come to me and how long it takes for those skills to develop.

Either way, whether I work with a kid for one semester or four, it’s like playing Whack-a-Mole.

A student might start using their planner really well, and it works for them. It helps everything and creates a great domino effect. Then one day they lose it, stop using it, or decide they hate it. Suddenly, that tool is out of the game for a while and not working as well as it was.

Or they design a great study space — a place where they can really focus — and it works for a few days. Then they forget about it, or the habit hasn’t fully formed yet.

Or they start advocating for themselves with teachers. They begin walking up to teachers and saying, “Hey, can I get some help?” The teachers respond positively, and everyone sees that the student wants to improve. Then all of a sudden, the student decides they’re not going to do that anymore, or they forget that support is available to them.

It really is like playing Whack-a-Mole.

What we do not want to do — the worst possible thing we can do in these moments — is speak to the student in a shameful way. We don’t want terseness, condescension, or contempt in our tone. Saying things like, “You were just doing that — why did you stop?” with frustration or irritation behind it can be incredibly harmful.

The tone and intention behind our words are everything.

When I’m working with these students, I see the Whack-a-Mole effect all the time. But my objective is to respond with positivity, warmth, kindness, compassion, empathy, understanding, and support.

I want to say, “Hey, I get it. I get it. So you stopped doing this. What do we need to do now?”

Then I want to give them ownership and buy-in by asking:
“What ideas do you have for getting this implemented again?”
“If you start to get off track again and the Whack-a-Mole happens, how can we get back on track?”

It’s really important to watch our tone, our body language, and the words we use. Once things cross over into shame, what we’re trying to do often backfires. We become less effective in helping the child we’re trying to serve.

Anyhow, my name is Seth with South Pearl Accom. If you liked this video, give it a thumbs up, share it with someone, and leave a comment.

What do you think about this idea? Where do you see the Whack-a-Mole effect in executive function or education in general? And what do you do that helps these kids?

All right — be well, take care, and talk to you later.