3 reasons I failed out of college with Executive Function challenges

What’s up, students?

My name is Seth Perler from SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach, and I help struggling students navigate this thing called school.

In this video, I’m talking to students who are going into college or who are already in college. I’m going to tell you three reasons why I failed out of college.

And I’m telling you this because I do not want you to fail out of college.

I want you to do what’s right for you and build a fantastic life. Failing out of college does not have to be part of the process.

First, let me tell you something important:

When I work with college students, most of the students I work with are sophomores — or technically “second-year freshmen.”

Why?

Because many of them struggled badly during their first year. Some failed classes. Some barely made it through. Others were forced to repeat courses or restart academically.

And finally, after struggling for a while, they become ready to ask for help.

Asking for help is very hard for a lot of people.

So let me tell you my story.

I went to Ball State University, and I failed out.

I actually started college on academic probation because I had almost failed out of high school. I barely graduated.

I didn’t even get a summer break after high school graduation. I went straight into summer school at college on probation and had to take three probationary classes.

Ironically, whenever I was “in trouble,” I often performed better because the pressure forced me to focus.

So during that summer, I got one A and two Cs.

And here’s the funny part:

The class I got an A in was a study skills class.

True story.

After that, I was allowed to continue into the fall semester.

Then I failed.

I came back for the spring semester.

Failed again.

After spring semester ended, I got a letter in the mail basically saying:

“Seth, don’t come back. You failed out of Ball State University. Thanks for your money, and good luck.”

So I transferred to another college.

But before I could fail out there too, I dropped out.

That school operated on a quarter system. I completed the fall and winter quarters, failed both, and then never returned for the spring quarter.

So how exactly did I fail out of college?

Here are the three main reasons.

Number one: I didn’t go to college for myself.

I went because I had been told my entire life that I was supposed to go to college.

I didn’t know there were other options.

I had no personal buy-in. I wasn’t going because I wanted to learn, grow, develop myself, explore new ideas, meet new people, or build a meaningful career.

I went because I thought that’s what you were “supposed” to do.

And honestly, I mostly wanted to move out of my parents’ house.

I wanted independence, even though I absolutely did not have the executive function skills necessary to live independently.

At the time, I thought my parents were just bothering me all the time. Looking back now, I regret how hard I was on them. Today, I have a fantastic relationship with my parents, but back then I was not an easy kid.

So the first reason I failed out of college was this:

I wasn’t doing it for me.

The second reason was that I didn’t have the executive function skills necessary to navigate college life.

Emotionally, I was dysregulated.

I struggled with anxiety, depression, insecurity, fear, and low confidence. I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough.

I didn’t know how to manage my emotions or work through discomfort in healthy ways.

I also wasn’t taking care of myself physically.

I ate terrible food — mostly processed junk like Doritos and soda.

I barely slept.
I stayed up all night.
I didn’t exercise.
I didn’t prioritize my health.

And beyond that, I lacked practical executive function skills like:

* Planning
* Organizing
* Prioritizing
* Studying effectively
* Managing time
* Following through consistently

I simply did not have the tools I needed yet.

The third reason I failed out of college was this:

I didn’t know how to ask for help.

And honestly, this became one of the most important lessons of my entire life.

I didn’t know how to ask teachers for help.
I didn’t know how to ask my parents for help.
I didn’t know how to ask tutors, coaches, or classmates for help.

I didn’t ask anybody.

Why?

Because my ego was huge.

I thought asking for help meant admitting there was something wrong with me. I thought it meant people would see me as broken or weak.

That terrified me.

There’s a quote by Zig Ziglar:

“There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”

At that point in my life, I wanted the elevator.

I wanted quick fixes.
I wanted everything to be easy.
I didn’t want to put in the work.
I didn’t want to build skills.
I didn’t want to ask for help.

And because of that, I failed.

So let me leave you with this:

College is not right for everyone.

And even if college is right for you eventually, it may not be right at the exact moment society expects it to be.

You have to do what’s right for you.

You need motivation.
You need ownership.
You need buy-in.
You need support.
And you need to know that asking for help is not weakness.

In fact, asking for help is a sign of maturity.

Real adults ask for help.

Nobody succeeds alone.
No successful person does it all by themselves.

We all need support from other people.

Again, my name is Seth Perler from SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach based in Colorado.

I hope you have a fantastic day, a fantastic life, and I hope this video helped you.

If it did, give it a thumbs up, leave a comment, or share it with someone who might need it.

I’ll see you in the next one. Take care.