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Often our kids feel like they aren’t noticed for what they do “right”. They feel scrutinized, which can get exhausting and can be demotivating. The saying “catch em’ being good” is a powerful idea that I explore in this week’s video.
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This one is for you parents out there. What’s up parents and teachers. My name is Seth. What’s up, bro., And executive function coach based out of Colorado have struggling students that would get this thing called education so they can have a fantastic life, but when kids start up the executive function it gets in the way of their opportunities and possibilities and choices in life. Literally and how parents I want to tell you about a saying, And the teacher world and the teacher World there is a sang a quote. Hachim being good. Catch em being good. When the world does that mean catch him being good. And the reason that the saying in the teacher world is because when we catch kids being good when we catch them doing the right thing when we catch them I’m doing the things that we want them to keep doing the behaviors that are healthy and that helped them have a great life that help plant seeds for the future when we catch him being good what we’re doing as Educators this teachers what we’re really doing. Is called building healthy insecurely attached relationships. The teacher the educator is building healthy secure relating with the Chow. How how does that happen? Because the child the student now care of it though Mentor middle school high school college when we catch somebody because so often what we do is we notice what’s not right? We noticed what they did wrong. So to speak I hate to use that word that language but cuz right and wrong is very subjective. But essentially what we often do is notice the things we don’t like in point that out to our kids the negative things, right? So the way that this is healthy and secure attachment though. Is that when we catch them being good? We see them they feel or hopefully a human being will feel seen. The feel like the person understands them that they get them at least either effort that they see that they’re trying their noticed their validated is very powerful. And again what we so often do is focus on the negative. I’m going to talk about a couple of ideas that might help you with this. In order to catch and being good parents in order to catch a child be good a verbally notice what you want them to continue. So when they do something even if it’s tiny when they do something that you appreciate that you noticed that they’ve done well done Rider. How are you frame it? Verbally, tell him I was really cool. You’re just nice to your sister. I appreciate that. Hey, you just put your stuff away without MBA appreciate that hey, I noticed you brush your teeth on your own. Thanks. You know just it and I I called them Pebbles of positivity have another video on that somewhere, but you’re just like tossing out these Pebbles of positivity. Verbally notice what you want them to continue in any realm? And don’t point out what we don’t like as often as I like if it’s really necessary. That’s one thing but really ask yourself is this one necessary to say is this one necessary to see how would I feel if somebody was saying this many things that they don’t like about me? Next thing I have for you is closely related is called the 3-2-1 rule with parents. And this is why I suggest that you use three positives to everyone perceived negative. Three positives to everyone perceive negative every negative thing you say to your child. You have to say three positives for many of you. Just getting to a one-to-one ratio is an improvement. So I don’t really care if it’s one or two or three or four or what. but just focus on the 3-2-1 rule How can I Make my kid feel like there’s been a really big proportion of positive comment back to them. Next one be on a FANUC about it and don’t overdo it. So you don’t want that you’re not you’re you’re saying things that are real real compliments real authentic things. You’re really noticing things that you want to continue you. It’s not flop. It’s real. You’re actually even if it’s small doesn’t matter. I sometimes literally will be like you put your name on your paper cool. Like it can be such a small is that but it has to be real. And then the final one. Catch them being good the final one. How do you catch em be good? In this one, you don’t even talk about anything bad or negative ever. In this one. Plan fun with your child play with your child. Enjoy being with a child. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun. Just go do something. Fun. You’re going to eat you might have this huge urge when you notice something that’s off to say. Oh you got to do that. You got to do that. Don’t breathe for a while while you’re having fun with them. Don’t say any of it. Let it all go unless it’s a danger or safety issue. Really try to let it go and when you’re having fun be present fully for connecting with your child in front of me. So I got for you. My name is Seth. What’s up photo companies that get a bunch of Colorado have a struggling students navigate this thing called school, education so that they can have great life, Iowa.