Category: Foundations

Report Cards

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We don’t really care about your grades.

We’re more interested in seeing the important things from you:
  • Your kindness and generosity
  • Your effort and persistence
  • Your ability to pursue things that matter
  • How you walk through your own resistance and avoidance
  • How you take healthy risks
  • How you embrace your “failures” and use them for growth
  • Your capacity for things like gratitude, authenticity and integrity
  • Your personal best
Life ain’t a dress rehearsal – you have many gifts to share, so keep moving forward. Thanks for being you. I can’t wait to see the great things you do!
Please *click* below to share. Thanks!

The Homework Continuum Deluxe (why homework isn’t just one thing)(Video)

Please CLICK above to share. Odd as this may sound, students who struggle with homework aren’t just struggling with homework. They’re struggling with many things that have a lot to do with “executive function.” Executive function refers to the brain’s ability to “execute” a complex task. In the case of homework, which sounds like 1 single task, there are actually many subtasks that must be done in order to successfully complete it. This series of subtasks is what I call The Homework Continuum. When you understand this continuum, then you can intentionally isolate and address each specific aspect that a student is struggling with. When homework is seen in this light, we can find solutions that make a real impact. Here’s how the Homework Continuum works: 1. Clear assignment – First, the assignment must be clear. The teacher’s part is to clearly communicate expectations and the student’s part is to take in these expectations with clarity. Obviously, there are often problems on both ends and we need to get to the bottom of this issue first. 2. Accurately record – Somehow, the student has to have a system for accurately recording homework details. But these kids aren’t great with details. The right planner is the preferred method. 3. Remember – Next, the student has to remember to do the homework! Often times it’s not even on their radar, so they need to build an effective system/routine just for remembering to do homework. 4. Self-start – In “executive function terms,” self-starting is called “task initiation.” Starting homework is often very challenging for my students. They resist, avoid, procrastinate, etc.. They need tips, tricks and tools to just get the train moving. 5. Follow-through – This is called “task persistence.” Students often get derailed, and must get back on track in order to finish the homework. 6. Transport – After the homework is complete, how does the student get it into the right folder, then in the backpack and into the class? 7. Turn in – Now that it’s in the classroom, how does the student get that homework into the teacher’s hands? Sounds simple, right? Well, it’s often an executive function issue again. Students who don’t turn in completed homework is one of the most baffling things for parents and teachers. They just can’t comprehend how a student could manage to forget or accept a 0 on work they already did. So you see, homework isn’t just one thing. It’s a continuum that requires a great deal of executive function that some students haven’t yet developed. The key is to deconstruct each of these areas to find solutions that will work to build executive function skills and help create lasting change.
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Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Hey everybody. This is Seth with SethPerler.com and I’m glad you’re here. Look, this is an important day because I’m about to teach you about the Homework Continuum Deluxe. Now, you might be asking yourself, what makes it deluxe? And the answer is, absolutely, nothing. I just think it sounds cool and I have low self-esteem and I think deluxe it makes it sound cooler and makes me sound cooler, so it just helps me out a little bit. If you can accept that, we’re going to be good, all right. Here we go. How you doing? All right. I am going to tell you about something serious and it is the Homework Continuum. The reason why this is so important is because the students that I work with struggle,  they’re right-brain, they’re not getting the grades that reflect what they’re capable of or their intelligence or their mind or their creativity. These students often, pretty much always, struggle with executive function. That’s the brain’s ability to execute a task. If I were to execute a task, for example, picking up this marker, that is a very simple task that doesn’t require much executive function. But to do homework, it requires a ton of executive function. And the mistake that people make, that students, parents, and teachers make, is they think of homework as one thing. “Go do your homework. I got to do my homework.” It sounds like it’s one thing, but it’s actually many things. I’m going to break that down for you right now. The value of breaking down this Continuum Deluxe is, wait that that was kind of weird, huh? Ah man, the self-esteem just went down again. Alright, back to it. The value in doing and understanding the Homework Continuum and breaking it down into small chunks is that then you can look at each chunk individually and figure out real solutions to help work with that particular aspect of the Homework Continuum. There is a beginning and there is an end to homework. I’m going to go through how you get homework done beginning to end. At the very beginning, you have the homework that has to be assigned. It has to be clearly assigned because a lot of times my students are coming into my office, I’m working with them, and they don’t understand the homework. They don’t have a good place to reference it online, a lot of teachers don’t make it clear on the papers that they hand out, what it means. I’m confused half the time! So is it clearly assigned? So if the teacher clearly assigns it in class verbally, and the student is having trouble taking it in verbally because they could be stressed, bored, or uninterested or unengaged, or they could be looking at somebody else in the classroom who’s talking. They could be engaging, talking, or writing notes. If they’re not fully engaged and the teachers trying to assign something verbally or if they have an auditory processing disorder or any of number of things, they’re not going to get it clearly. So even getting the clarity of what’s required on the assignment is one step in of itself. If that’s an area that’s troublesome, that’s one area you should address separately. It’s not just doing the work, it’s one piece right here. You have to accurately record the homework. Okay whether you memorize it, write it on a sticky note, look online to see what the teacher has written about the assignment, if they’ve even done that, look at the paper that the teacher gives you if it clearly states it, or use a planner. Using a planner effectively, the right planner, the right way, for right-brain students is very important. So that in itself. Some method of accurately recording clearly assigned assignment is a step in of itself. Moving on, the student has to remember to even do the assignment. They have to even remember to look in their planner or to know that the assignment exists once they’ve left school. We begin with all of these, these deal with their prefrontal cortex, these deal with executive function, the brain’s ability to execute a complex, and this is a very complex, task. To remember to even do it, your brain has to use what’s called work memory which is like juggling balls, it’s keeping the things that are important in your mind. They have to use working memory to even remember to do it. Next, we have self-starting. Now in executive function speed, this is called task initiation. To initiate the task, to start, to get going, to get the train moving. The train that stands still is very difficult to get started. It requires an enormous amount of energy, and for these students, it requires even more energy to get started. So just to start is a huge issue or 99% of the students that I work with, self-starting is an issue. That in of itself is one piece of the puzzle. Then, they have to follow0through. They have to not only start, but they have to, if they get derailed, get back on track. That’s a great metaphor for the train, and people usually are able to get derailed and get back on it. My students tend to get wayyyy derailed and have a lot of trouble getting back on track. Follow-through, that’s a part of task persistence, which is executive function also. The task persistence is the EF term for follow-through or stick-to-it-evness. Now you have to follow-through until completion. A lot of my students don’t complete everything 100% and then they don’t turn it in at all. So, that can be problematic because they just need to get in the habit of getting it in even it’s 80% done. So complete follow-through isn’t always necessarily necessary, especially when we’re building habits. But this is a huge part again of executive function. So that’s a piece that needs to be examined and broken apart. How to just deal with the follow-through aspect. Then, you have to worry about transport. Transport means, how do we get it from home, the kitchen table or the desk, or wherever they’re doing their homework, into the folder, into the backpack, into the bus or the car or whatever, back to the school. How do we even transport it? That in of itself is a system that a lot of students really take time to craft and families don’t understand, parents are often baffled at how can this piece of paper not make it back to school. Transportation, that’s an executive function thing too. Dealing with systems and details, getting it from point A to point B, that’s something that needs to be looked at. Finally, it’s got to be turned in. So the student has to be in the class, use executive function to say to themselves, “Hmm, I need to get that out of my backpack and hand it in to the teacher.” Now, I think that my students are generally very well-intended, they often legitimately forget. The teacher can even be saying, “Everybody turn in your homework right now.” I have teachers who say, “Well, I ask for the homework at the beginning of every period,” well a lot of the times these students with executive function have difficulty with transitions. So they’re just transitioning into a new class, their mind is still in the other class or the social thing that happened in the hallway, or whatever. Turning it in is a real challenge for even more reasons than I mentioned. I often will be doing a backpack overhaul with a student and we pull something out from the bottom of the backpack, the bowels of the backpack, we find a paper that was due 3 weeks or 3 months ago, and they say, “Oh, that’s where that is. I thought I turned it in.” A lot of the time students even literally, envisioned themselves with the visual part of the brain turning in the work. But they didn’t do it. But they often will misremember. Anyhow, the point is that the Homework Continuum Deluxe has a beginning and an end. It is not one thing, do your homework, it is many things. When you break down these pieces and look at them individually, then you can help a student problem solve and come up with solutions to each one of them to help increase their independence so that they can better succeed at doing the homework. Now this video doesn’t even consider whether or not the homework is valuable. Some homework is completely meaningless, complete BS. I see that a lot here and I have strong opinions about this, but that this video doesn’t even look at that. That’s a whole issue altogether. I really am just a nutshell don’t think that homework should interfere with self-care time and family time. And there are sometimes legitimate reasons for homework, sometimes there’s not. You really have to look at that as well. Anyhow, here you go, here’s the Homework Continuum, I hope this helps you look at the areas that you can break down to work on more specifically to problem-solve with so that you can increase independence and success in whatever you’re doing. Good luck to you, I hope you’re having an awesome weekend and I’ll see you in a week. Take care. Please CLICK below to share.

Unmotivated kids

Procrastination. Dragging your feet. Putting it off. Avoidance. Resistance.

Motivation is overrated

We like to think that if we can just figure out how to motivate our kids properly, a mental switch will flip and they’ll realize how much easier it is. But it doesn’t happen that way with a lot of kids. Learning how to walk through resistance tends to happen painfully slowly. Our children often want to convince us that they need to wait until they feel motivated. They claim they have to be in the right mood for it. Yet this is just one of the many defaults our brains attach to in order to continue avoiding. If we wait until we feel motivated, it’ll never happen.
“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron
Getting started doing something you don’t feel like doing can be so difficult, especially when there doesn’t appear to be much value in the task, or when it’s overwhelming (both of which are all too common in school). A train at a standstill requires an enormous amount of energy to gain momentum, but once it gets going, its’ a lot easier to keep going. So, we might ask a different question: Rather than, “how can I get them motivated?” consider, “how do I help them learn strategies to get started?”As adults, we have somehow learned ways to trick ourselves into starting, yet it’s such a subtle step, we often don’t even acknowledge it as such. Kids need a lot of help with this. Don’t give up – your guidance is making a difference, regardless of how frustrating it can be. Trust the process and pick your battles wisely. Sometimes kids get “derailed” and it’s so hard to start up again. Sometimes it’s good to get them “back on track” to “complete the work.” But sometimes it’s best to leave well-enough alone. Sometimes it’s best to let go, call it a day and enjoy some much needed downtime with family, friends or just taking care of oneself. What’s your highest trump today?

Parents, Trust Your Gut

Albert Einstein

Gut feeling

Your gut. Also referred to as the heart, soul, inner voice or intuition. Regardless of what you call it, it’s very different from your mind. It carries a significantly quieter voice from deep within. The mind is LOUD. It chatters incessantly, always trying to ‘figure things out’. Although it has great ideas, we can’t always rely on them. In fact, the mind often tells stories that don’t serve us at all, but it tells them so loudly that it can drown out the gut feeling. The gut never lies, and its voice is always present, yet we sometimes ignore it. Whenever we say, “I knew I should have …”, the part of us that “knew” was our gut.

It’s very common

I’ve had countless conversations with parents who want to bounce things off of me to see if they are off base, because of conflicting messages between school and their own gut. It’s always the same routine. They begin by telling me about some rule, opinion, or recommendation from the school. They then tell me that something doesn’t seem quite right. Inevitably, I find myself telling them that their concern is in fact valid and that they should listen to their gut. I then offer up alternatives or different ways of looking at the situation that the school has not noted. Although the limiting beliefs of the system may make it seem like there are few alternatives, the truth is that there are usually many right answers.

The system that needs an update

There are so many factors to consider when thinking about the well being of a child. Schools often have shortsighted solutions, limited resources, expertise and time. Of course teachers are often great with pedagogy, their expertise lies in conveying subject matter. This is one of the great benefits of school. Dedicated teachers work incredibly hard, long hours and deserve enormous respect for their massive investment in our kids. Year after year teachers have more responsibilities, combined with less time and resources. But teachers are human, and their myopic views are perpetuated by outdated systems. These systems are blindly shaped by the intricate consequences of high stakes standardized testing. But even through this fog, parents do know what’s right and best for their kids and they sense when something is wrong. Parents are the experts regarding their children. Beware though, sometimes the mind tries to mimic the gut and we need to take much more time and stillness to quiet the mind and clarify the whisper of the heart. Nonetheless, ultimately trust your gut. It knows.

Try this:

Practically speaking, if something feels wrong and the school is not responding effectively, here are some places to start: -Contact the district or university to see if there is a parent advocate or liaison. -Read your rights. Schools should offer a document outlining the “educational rights of parents” and FAPE -IDEA – Refer to IDEA http://idea.ed.gov/explore/home -LRE – understand the intentions of the Least Restrictive Environment http://idea.ed.gov/explore/view/p/%2Croot%2Cstatute%2CI%2CB%2C612%2Ca%2C5%2C -As schools deal with shocking budget cuts, there are obviously less resources to meet the needs of our kids. Consequently, there are more hoops to jump through in order to get needs met. It’s infuriating to see kids get lost in the mix as parents get the run around, sifting through layers of red tape, baffled at why it’s so difficult to get help for their children. Regardless of these cuts, schools are indeed required provide the services kids need. Press on until you find the right solution. It’s out there, so keep listening to your gut. Share your thoughts below. How do you listen to your gut through the noise? How have you dealt with similar challenges?

“Runnin’ Hot” How to work with Stress in School

School is an emotional experience

For many students, school is an especially emotional experience. This is critical to remember during transitions. The students I work with are often sensitive to begin with. Their baseline of stress is already a bit high and they can be easily triggered, therefore experiences often feel more intense than they might really be. These students are often sensitive to other distracting stimulus, which further complicates matters: sounds, touch, light, color, movement and smell, all vie for attention. No wonder it’s hard to focus on learning and on the immense amount of details presented by teachers at the beginning of the year.

Runnin’ hot

These students are already “running hot,” so imagine what it’s like for them on the first day of school. They are excited to see old friends, afraid of run-ins with old enemies, sizing up new people, adjusting to new teachers, new schedules, new books, new content areas, new expectations, new environments, trying to figure out where they fit into their complex social web. Every moment is a risk. Every moment is laying the groundwork for how they will experience the rest of the year. Will it be overwhelming, awesome, a roller coaster, a pit of doom? Will it be fun, challenging, sad, empty? Will it be meaningful, encouraging, scary, hopeless? Will it inspire passions, interests, a love for learning and life? Will it disintegrate hope, corrode self-confidence, deteriorate dreams? Will it be all of these things and more?

Remember what it was like?

Sometimes it’s difficult for us adults to remember how massively emotional school can be. A stop at the water fountain can turn into a nightmare in Loserville. A zit can seem like a major embarrassment. A teacher’s thoughtful advice may be interpreted as, “Why does she hate me? I can’t do anything right. I’m a failure.” A glance from another student can seem like a life-threatening attack. The humiliation of dropping a pencil or being called on can cause poisonous loneliness. Constant micro-experiences must be navigated, however ungracefully, and there will be consequences. Perhaps positive- a great group of friends forms the basis of lifelong friendships. Or perhaps one biting insult catapults a student into the depths of isolation and despair.

Attention, focus, concentration

Again, school is an emotional experience, and emotion drives attention. So when a student perceives messages like, “Just try harder. Why don’t you just focus? Pay more attention. Quit daydreaming and get with it. You should know better,” they may very well be hearing, “What’s wrong with you? You’re a failure. You’re worthless. You’re nothing.” Needless to say, students attend most to what they feel. You can help them feel safe and secure in life, which will transfer to school. If you carry guilt, gently let go of it. You learned from the models you had growing up, and this may not serve you any longer. How were you dealt with? What did you need? How can you best offer that?

Listen and hear

Yes, school is an emotional experience. Students of all ages, even doctorate students, can suffer internally. So take some time to listen to your child. Instead of problem solving for them, really listen and problem solve with them. Try asking, “how can I be helpful?” instead of assuming you know what they need. Often, students know what they need but it may take several seconds of patiently waiting for them to verbalize and articulate a response. Resist the temptation to start talking right away and fix, save or enable. Wait. Sometimes it even takes minutes of venting, crying, blaming, yelling, expressing their current reality. Try saying with confidence, “I’m here for you”. Remind them to breathe. Be present, be stable. Look in their eyes and listen. Shut off the TV, close the laptop, put the cell phone away, the newspaper down. Be fully present. There’s a big difference between listening and really hearing what is beneath the surface. Be present enough that you can tap into your gut, your intuition, your deepest kindness.

What you do makes a difference

Remember, they are running hot and it is your support helps them find solutions, learn to be reflective, to set healthy boundaries. Your empathy helps them feel safe, accepted, understood, loved. Your support matters and teaches emotional regulation. Even if it doesn’t seem like it you do help them “run a bit cooler.” Your student needs you to help them navigate their experiences and what you do makes the difference.