Creative ways to support students, an in-depth discussion

So hi there, everybody, and welcome to today’s webinar. I’m Jade Apple Ruth here with an excellent guest, Seth Perler, who’s joining us today from Colorado. We’re going to have a great talk today. We have an hour, and we’ll be talking about how to help optimize learning for kids in the world right now.

A few words about Seth: I’ve been very impressed with his work for a long time. He is an expert in the field of studying, learning, and executive function coaching. He’s really quite masterful. He’s contributed a lot to the space. He’s hosted big workshops, and he’s a prolific video blogger and writer.

Seth, we are very, very grateful and happy to have you here today.

“I’m grateful to be here. I’m super excited to talk about kids and the brain and all of those things.”

“I like it.”

“All right, so we have some questions preloaded, and then we’re going to save plenty of time at the end for Q&A because I guarantee there will be questions from the audience.

We’re going to tee things off talking about learning right now. It’s definitely been a challenge. I’ve been getting calls from our clients, of course, but even my friends. I have friends calling me, and they’re worried about their kids. They’re worried about learning loss.”

“I have kids asking me about private schools in Atlanta. They’re pondering changing from public to private schools. Is it worth it? Can we get in? What do you know about the school?

Often it’s a family with two kids — one kid’s doing fine and one kid’s really struggling in the same household — and they’re trying to figure out how to help the one who’s really falling behind.”

“So why don’t we open up and talk about this? Before we jump into all the details, is there one single thing you want to say is the most important thing for parents and educators right now when it comes to helping kids thrive in the current moment?”

“Well, whether it’s in this current moment or not, the thing that I always say, and the thing I always start and end my talks with, is the same thing:

The most important thing is the relationship.”

“There’s something called attachment theory, and there’s something called healthy and securely attached relationships.

Security in a relationship means that when you are relating with someone — whether it’s a spouse, a friend, a coworker, a teacher, or a student — you feel heard, seen, known, and understood. You feel like that person has your back.”

“When we have insecure relationships — either anxious or avoidant — it doesn’t feel as safe. It can feel like you’re not being seen, heard, or understood.

I’m not going to go too far into that, but the gist is that I think the most important thing is: build the relationship, build the relationship, build the relationship.”

“It’s definitely harder for teachers online right now, but it’s still possible.

And with families too — this is a difficult time because everybody’s stuck at home and in each other’s space so much — but nonetheless, it’s an opportunity to ask:

* How can we problem-solve?
* How can we teach our child to work within the relationship?
* How can we become solution-oriented?
* How can we learn to hear each other, see each other, and understand each other?”

“One thing I’ll point out right now is that a lot of the kids I work with feel very insecure. I’m an executive function coach, and the students I work with struggle with executive function — with getting things done.

They were already struggling every semester, but now their zeros are piling up and they’re failing very quickly. Usually it’s not this severe, but now it’s so hard for them to engage and jump through the hoops.”

“So when they have teachers who, for example, give zero credit for late work or only 50% credit for late work, it doesn’t feel secure to them because they start saying, ‘Why should I even try?’”

“If you listened to my vlog from last week, I really ranted on grades and my problem with grades in general and how outdated they are.

But regardless, when students are struggling, the question becomes: how do we create a relationship where they feel safe? Whether it has to do with grades, learning, homework, having options, or any number of things — it’s about feeling safe and secure first and foremost.”

“If kids feel like they have a safe and secure base in their families and with their teachers, then no matter what craziness happens, they’ll be okay.”

“I just saw one of my parents outside my house a few minutes ago — one of the parents of one of my students — and she said, ‘Yeah, we’re just thinking of this year as the lost year.’

Her daughter is getting all A’s, but she’s not learning anything, and the bar is so low. Everybody’s having different experiences, but either way, what we want is to use this time to build the relationship.”

“Your kids will be okay, but really focus on that. Security is everything. The skills they learn from that will last them their whole life.

So that’s my not-so-quick answer to your question.”