Parents, don’t get BLINDSIDED by grades after school ends

Hey, good morning!

It’s me, Seth, from SethPerler.com. I hope you’re doing great.

Parents and teachers, this video is really more for parents, but teachers, I’d be thrilled to hear your thoughts. If you’d like to comment below and share your advice with parents on this topic, please do.

I’m an executive function coach based in Boulder, Colorado. What that means is that I help struggling students figure out and navigate this thing called school.

Right now, it’s the end of the semester. If your student struggles with school and you’re concerned about whether the information they’re giving you is accurate—whether they’re telling you everything they need to be doing to finish the year successfully—then this video is for you.

Yesterday, I was speaking with some of the local families I work with, and we were discussing what students should be doing to wrap up the school year.

The first thing I wanted to convey to those families is that they need clarity.

How do you get clarity?

Typically, we ask our children questions such as:

• Do you have any final exams coming up?

• Do you have any final projects?

• Are there any novels you’re supposed to be reading?

• Are there papers you’re supposed to be writing?

At the end of the year, students are dealing with a lot. If you’ve watched my recent videos, you’ve heard me talk about how students not only have current assignments but, if they struggle with executive function, they may also be dealing with makeup work, missing assignments, late work, incomplete work, zeros, test corrections, and other unfinished tasks.

So they’re juggling past work, current work, and upcoming work all at the same time.

On top of that, spring fever sets in. Students are less motivated. They want to be done with school. Teachers want summer break. Parents want a break from school responsibilities. Everybody is feeling tired and ready for the year to end.

If your child struggles with executive function, you might see passing grades today, but things can change quickly.

You don’t want to be in a situation where school ends, grades come out a week later, and you discover that your child failed multiple classes. Then you’re suddenly dealing with summer school, retaking classes, or trying to figure out how to recover from a situation you didn’t see coming.

So what do you need?

You need clarity.

The challenge is that you often can’t rely entirely on your child to provide it.

It’s not because they don’t care. It’s not because they’re lazy. It’s not because they’re unmotivated.

We want to avoid those kinds of judgments.

Most likely, your child simply doesn’t have the executive function skills necessary to manage all of the details, deadlines, and information they need to keep track of right now.

So if you can’t rely solely on your child for clarity, where do you get it?

There are two main places.

The first place is your school’s online portals.

You might check Schoology, Google Classroom, Infinite Campus, Canvas, PowerSchool, or whatever system your school uses.

Unfortunately, these systems are not always easy to navigate. One teacher may use Infinite Campus and Schoology, while another teacher uses Google Classroom and a personal website. Every teacher may organize information differently.

This can be confusing for parents, students, and even educators.

Still, the first place to start is by carefully reviewing all available portals and teacher websites.

Some teachers communicate exceptionally well online. Their expectations are crystal clear. Assignments, due dates, instructions, and resources are easy to find.

When teachers provide that level of clarity, it’s much easier to support your child.

However, some teachers don’t update information regularly, or their expectations may be less clear. That’s when families can feel blindsided if grades suddenly drop or important assignments are missed.

The second place to get clarity is directly from teachers.

Usually, the best way to do this is through email.

If you’re going to email a teacher, keep it short, organized, and easy to respond to. Teachers receive enormous amounts of email, so make their job easier.

Don’t write a novel.

A simple message might look something like this:

“Hi, I hope you’re doing well. As we approach the end of the school year, we’re trying to make sure we understand exactly where things stand so we aren’t caught off guard later. Could you help us with a few questions?”

Then ask for clarity in three areas:

1. Past work

   • Are there any missing assignments?

   • Any incomplete work?

   • Any late work, test corrections, or zeros we should be aware of?

2. Current work

   • Based on what we see in the portal, this appears to be what is currently being worked on.

   • Is that accurate?

   • Is there anything important we’re missing?

3. Upcoming work

   • Are there any major projects, papers, exams, presentations, or reading assignments coming up?

   • Are there any long-term assignments my child should already be working on?

This last category is especially important because students who struggle with executive function are often the students who announce the night before a major assignment is due:

“Mom, Dad, I have a ten-page paper due tomorrow.”

You want to know about those long-term projects ahead of time.

The main question you’re trying to answer is:

“What do we need to know so that we’re not blindsided?”

Teachers, if you’re watching this and have suggestions for how parents can phrase these questions more effectively, please share your wisdom.

Parents, one final thought.

If you’re concerned and your child says:

• “Leave me alone, Mom and Dad.”

• “I’ve got this.”

• “Trust me.”

• “I already talked to the teacher.”

• “I turned it in.”

• “The teacher just hasn’t updated the portal yet.”

—and something inside of you is still saying, “I’m not sure”—listen to that feeling.

It’s better to verify than to assume.

If your child turns out to be right, that’s fantastic. Celebrate it. That’s exactly what we want.

But if they’re not right, and you can prevent major consequences by gathering accurate information, that’s worth doing.

The goal isn’t to control your child.

The goal is to support them, provide clear expectations, and give them the structure they need to succeed.

Anyway, my name is Seth from SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach based in Boulder, Colorado.

If you haven’t subscribed to my blog or YouTube channel, feel free to check them out.

And if you found this video helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it. That helps support my work and may help another family as well.

Take care, and I’ll talk to you soon.