How to get your child to FOLLOW THROUGH

Hey everybody, I hope you’re doing great. I have a really great email I’m going to go over with you. The gist of it is that a mom is asking: how do I help my child get to the next step? The child has a decent foundation in what he’s supposed to do, but how do we get him to actually do it?

So here’s how the email goes, and I’m going to give you five ways to help in a situation like this.

The mom writes:

“Hey Seth, I’ve been thinking about next semester, which is the upcoming spring semester. My child did okay—meaning there were no Ds or Fs—but there were several classes where he should have had better grades, and actually most of them. These are classes where he started off strong. His mode is typically as you described, although he seems to be able to ‘Hail Mary’ it at the end, which is stressful for both of us.”

What she means is that the child goes through the dip: his grades fall apart during the semester, and then he tries to catch up at the very end. In the last month of school, there is a huge amount of stress as he tries to complete all his projects and papers at once, and he often manages to pull it off—but it becomes harder and harder to do that as school progresses.

She continues:

“Our tutor does a great job, but the problem is follow-through—finishing, remembering to submit everything. He rejects planners, often forgets key assignments, and usually volunteers what he needs to do but doesn’t actually do it. He has already tried your systems and rejected some, which I’m okay with. He’s made some of his own, which is good—he doesn’t have to do everything your way—but getting some system in place is key, and then refining it.”

This is what I call “Frankenstudy,” by the way—mixing systems together to find what works for the individual.

She continues:

“He seems to need a next step—using the tools you’ve provided to become more responsible, as well as being accountable to someone he trusts, like you. I was wondering if you have thoughts on offering something for kids like this who are beyond the basics but still need a push to change their mindset (a term my child actually dislikes).”

So first, I want parents to understand this: if your child is in this situation—where they have the foundation but aren’t consistently applying it—there is no single solution.

There is no one answer.

What you need is multiple small changes working together. Think of it like fitness: if you only do bicep curls and nothing else, you won’t reach your goals. You need a full system working together.

With kids like this, you have to apply many small strategies that collectively create change.

Now, I want to talk about mindset and introduce something I call the 5% rule (also related to micro-successes).

The 5% rule means that often, students don’t need a huge change to improve significantly. They just need a small increase in effort—about 5% more.

That 5% shift can move a student from D’s to B’s.

It’s not literally about exact percentages—it’s a mindset shift. It means:

• “I can do one more problem.”

• “I can write one more sentence.”

• “I can study five more minutes.”

• “I can spend one more day reviewing this.”

The goal is to reduce overwhelm. When things feel huge and abstract, kids shut down. When it feels small and manageable, they can act.

So instead of trying to motivate them, we ask: how do we help them take just one small next step?

Now I’m going to give you five ways to implement this 5% approach:

1. Accountability
Help your child build systems that create accountability. For example, as a coach I might text or check in with students: “Did you do this?” or “What reminders do you want this week?” That small external accountability can make the difference between missing work and completing it.

2. Office hours with teachers
Encourage your child to meet their teachers, especially at the beginning of the semester. Ask simple questions like: “What can I do to be more successful in your class?” Teachers often give helpful tips and also begin to notice and support the student more.

3. Study groups
Study groups are powerful, especially in high school and college. Studying with peers makes learning more engaging, builds accountability, and improves understanding.

4. Advocacy emails
Have your child send short emails to teachers like: “I want to do well in your class—what should I focus on?” This shows initiative and often leads to useful feedback and support.

5. Routine
Create a consistent study routine. Remove the need to decide when to study. Even if the exact time shifts slightly, having a predictable structure reduces resistance and procrastination.

To be clear, this is not about motivation.

I am not trying to motivate students. I am trying to help them feel emotionally safe enough to take one small step forward.

When students are not overwhelmed and feel safe, they can take micro-actions. Once they start, they often build momentum and do more than expected.

It may not be perfect, and it may not be complete, but it is growth. And growth is what leads to long-term change.

I hope this helps, and I hope you have a fantastic new year. Take care.