How students “should” REFLECT after semester is over?

What’s going on? It’s me, Seth from SethPerler.com, an executive function coach out of Boulder, Colorado. I help struggling students navigate this thing called education.

I’m coming to you from my couch today because I’m sick. I don’t feel so good, but I wanted to get a vlog out to you. I’m going to do two today.

This first one is about 2e kids (twice-exceptional children). In particular, it’s based on this email:

“Hi Seth, I recognize you have so many people to help and don’t want to steal your time, so I’ll keep my two questions short:

1. My son is 7 and in first grade. What’s a good age to determine that a child is 2e?

2. Why do you recommend a neuropsychologist instead of a clinical psychologist for evaluations?”

Question 1: What’s a good age to determine that your child is 2e?

Here’s what I would recommend to you as a parent:

Be on the lookout for whether your child is 2e—or whatever your child is—as early as humanly possible. Read up on things. Learn. Educate yourself.

Read my article and watch my video about 2e kids. Read the PDF that comes with it, which has a massive checklist. It’s not the end-all, be-all, and I don’t really like to box kids into categories, but it gives you a lot of things to look at and consider.

Read through the article thoroughly. Read it more than once. Learn as much as you can about twice-exceptionality, giftedness, and different types of disabilities.

The sooner you can understand what’s going on, the better.

Now, there are some 2e kids where it’s relatively black and white. They have a learning challenge or disability that is very clearly identifiable, and they have obvious gifts in one or more areas.

Those kids aren’t easy to help, but at least it’s easier to see what their needs are.

What concerns me more are the kids I call “gray-zone kids.”

The gray zone is a dangerous place to be because these kids are often misunderstood. When they’re misunderstood, they aren’t seen clearly. When they aren’t seen clearly, their needs often aren’t met.

Not only that, but they’re frequently shamed by well-intentioned adults.

You have teachers, parents, counselors, administrators, support staff, tutors, and all kinds of adults in a child’s life. Many of them simply won’t understand these gray-zone kids.

You’ll find yourself having conversations like:

• “This teacher just doesn’t get my kid.”

• “Why are they being so rigid?”

• “I can’t wait for this school year to be over.”

Those are the kinds of conversations parents of gray-zone kids often have.

The Two Types of Gray-Zone Kids

1. Gifts overshadow deficits

The first type of gray-zone child is one whose gifts overshadow their disabilities.

For example, I often see kids with incredibly strong verbal abilities. They’re able to have deep, sophisticated conversations far beyond what you’d expect for their age.

Adults see this gift and think:

“I know this kid is smart. I’ve seen what they’re capable of.”

But if the child also has a disability, adults may miss it because the gift is so obvious.

As a result, people say things like:

• “They’re not trying hard enough.”

• “They’re not motivated.”

• “They’re not disciplined.”

• “They’re being willful.”

• “They could do it if they wanted to.”

In reality, the disability may be interfering significantly, but people only see the gifted side.

2. Deficits overshadow gifts

The second type of gray-zone child is the opposite.

Here, the disability is so obvious that it’s impossible to miss. Everyone focuses on it.

But the child’s gifts aren’t being noticed, developed, or nurtured.

People only see what the child struggles with.

Those gifts stay hidden.

These are the kids I worry about most.

All kids are complicated.

Gifted kids are complicated.

Kids with disabilities are complicated.

And 2e kids are often super complicated.

I don’t want you leaving this video thinking that you’re going to identify something, fix it, and everything will suddenly be fine.

These are issues you’ll often be working through for years.

That’s hard for parents and teachers to accept.

But that’s life. Human beings are complicated.

If we’re going to deal with these complexities, we can’t pretend they’re simple.

We can’t assume that if we just:

• Follow the IEP,

• Follow the 504 plan,

• Implement a few interventions,

everything will magically work out.

That’s not reality.

Reality is that you have a child you care about. You want them to have a good future. They’re going to need certain skills and knowledge to build that future.

The question becomes:

• How do we develop those skills?

• How do we personalize education?

• How do we tailor learning experiences to the child?

• How do we support strengths while addressing challenges?

How do we truly meet their needs?

The answer starts with clarity.

That’s why you’re asking the right question.

The sooner you understand whether your child is 2e, the sooner parents, teachers, and support staff can better meet that child’s needs.

Question 2: Why do you recommend a neuropsychologist instead of a clinical psychologist?

You wrote:

“I’m trying to make an appointment with a neuropsychologist based on your video, but they said they only see children with brain injuries.”

Not all neuropsychologists only work with children who have brain injuries.

I don’t know where in Arizona you live. Whether you’re in Phoenix or a smaller town like Prescott can make a big difference in terms of available providers.

The reason I like neuropsychologists is that they tend to cast a very wide net.

They often:

• Use a large battery of tests,

• Conduct evaluations over multiple days,

• Spend significant time getting to know the child.

Does that automatically mean they’re better than a clinical psychologist?

Not necessarily.

What matters most is the relationship and the quality of the evaluation.

If you have a clinical psychologist whom you trust, who understands your child, and who can answer your questions clearly, that may be exactly what you need.

On the other hand, you could go to the most highly regarded neuropsychologist in the world and walk away completely confused.

You might spend $3,000 and leave thinking:

“What did we just do?”

“What does this stack of papers mean?”

“How does any of this actually help us?”

That doesn’t serve you.

Whoever you choose, I want you to walk away with answers.

Not all the answers.

But clarity.

You should leave the evaluation saying:

“Wow. This opened our eyes.”

“We understand our child much better.”

“We finally have a clearer picture of what’s going on.”

A clinical psychologist can absolutely provide that.

So don’t underestimate anyone based solely on their title.

Do your research.

Call three, four, or five different providers.

Talk to both neuropsychologists and clinical psychologists.

Ask them this question:

“When I leave this evaluation, am I going to have answers to my questions?

Or am I going to walk out with a stack of papers and no idea what any of it means?

How will you help me understand the results?”

That’s the most important thing.

So that’s my take on it.

Again, my name is Seth from SethPerler.com.

If you haven’t signed up for my website, go ahead and subscribe. There’s lots of great information for helping complicated kids.

Subscribe on YouTube, give the video a thumbs-up, leave a comment, and do whatever you can to help spread these ideas to more families so that we can serve more kids.

Hopefully, I won’t be sick much longer.

Take care, and I hope you’re doing well.