Do this DURING winter break

Winter Break: 7 Things Parents Should Do After a Tough Semester

Whoo! You see that? That’s a real-life snowball. It’s for real.

Winter break is here!

What’s up, everybody? My name is Seth Perler. It’s winter here in Colorado, so the students are on break, but I’m here in the office making a video for you.

Parents, today’s video is about a big problem that happens over winter break. I’m going to tell you exactly what many parents do that doesn’t work, what you should do instead, and I’m going to give you seven specific tips. I’ve even included a printable PDF checklist to help you.

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The Winter Break Problem

This is actually really important.

If you have a student who struggles with executive function—whether they’re in fifth grade or college—you’ve probably seen what I call the DIP Pattern.

The semester starts off okay.

Then, about six to eight weeks in, things begin to fall apart. Grades start slipping. Missing assignments pile up. Suddenly, everything seems to go downhill very quickly.

Your child then spends the rest of the semester trying to dig themselves out of a hole, catch up on missing work, and manage late assignments.

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Then comes what I call “Hail Mary Time.”

During the final few weeks of the semester, students are dealing with:

* Makeup work
* Final exams
* Final projects
* Research papers
* Large reading assignments

Many of these long-term tasks get pushed off until the last minute—if they get done at all.

Then the semester ends, and winter break begins.

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What Often Happens During Winter Break

The grades finally come out.

You look at them and think:

> “What happened?”
>
> “You told me you studied for finals.”
>
> “You told me you turned in your project.”
>
> “Why do you have three F’s?”

Parents are baffled.

The reality is that many students with executive function challenges simply didn’t have the tools to manage everything effectively. They weren’t tracking assignments, planning ahead, studying efficiently, or managing long-term projects successfully.

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At this point, many parents turn to things that don’t really solve the problem.

They may:

* Lecture
* Punish
* Offer rewards
* Try to rationalize
* Have a big emotional discussion

Then something else happens.

I call it Parental Amnesia.

Your child says:

> “Leave me alone.”
>
> “I’ve got this.”
>
> “Next semester will be different.”

And parents gradually forget how difficult the semester really was.

They hope things will somehow fix themselves.

Unfortunately, significant action often isn’t taken.

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7 Things To Do Instead

1. Relax and Connect

It’s break.

You have holidays, family visits, trips, and time together.

Connect with your child.

Don’t spend the entire break talking about school.

Have conversations about school when needed, but focus primarily on enjoying your relationship.

Connection is the most important thing.

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2. Print the Grade Details

Don’t just look at the final grade.

A student may say:

> “I got a 76.8.”

I don’t care about the 76.8.

I want to know why they got a 76.8.

Print the detailed grade report and look for patterns:

* Missing assignments
* Late work
* Test scores
* Homework completion
* Incomplete assignments

The goal is to understand what actually happened.

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3. Have a “Pre-Talk”

Don’t surprise your child.

Instead, tell them ahead of time:

> “Hey, we’re going to sit down on Friday at 4:00 and talk about school for about 30–60 minutes.”
>
> “You’re not in trouble.”
>
> “I love you.”
>
> “I want to help you.”

Tell them:

* When the conversation will happen
* How long it will last
* What you’ll be discussing

This feels emotionally safer than springing it on them unexpectedly.

—

4. Have the Heart-to-Heart Conversation

When you sit down together, focus on these topics.

Start With What Went Right

Tell them what you noticed:

* Their effort
* Their strengths
* Their creativity
* Their compassion
* Their interests
* Their gifts

Many struggling students feel like nobody notices what they’re doing well.

Make sure they know you do.

Ask: “What Would You Do Differently?”

Ask:

> “If you could go back to the beginning of the semester, what would you do differently?”

Reflection is incredibly powerful.

You may be surprised by the insight your child has.

Ask: “How Might You Apply That Next Semester?”

Don’t worry about getting perfect answers.

Just get them thinking about possible actions.

Ask: “How Can I Help?”

Listen carefully.

Really listen.

Even if they say:

> “Don’t help me.”

Instead of becoming defensive, ask:

> “Tell me more.”
>
> “What do you mean?”
>
> “Help me understand.”

Create space for honest conversation.

Ask About Future Resistance

Ask:

> “When I try to help next semester and you don’t want help, what would you like me to say or do?”

This can provide valuable insight into how your child experiences your support.

Review the Grade Patterns

Look at the printed grade details together.

Ask:

> “What patterns do you notice?”

Try to help them develop ownership rather than simply telling them what you see.

Ask: “What Would Make This 1% Better?”

Don’t ask how to turn an F into an A.

Ask:

> “How can we make this 1% better?”

Focus on momentum rather than perfection.

Small improvements create lasting change.

—

1. Do a Complete Overhaul

Later in the break—not on the same day as the conversation—help your child reset their systems.

Overhaul:

* Backpack
* Folders
* Planner
* Study space
* Desk area

Remove old papers and clutter.

Create a clean start for the new semester.

—

Create a New Semester Calendar

Use a large desk calendar.

Add only the important items:

* Tests
* Exams
* Projects
* Major papers

Keep it simple, visible, and easy to use.

—

Email Teachers

Send a short, positive email.

Something like:

> “Hi, my child is in your class. We want to help make this a successful semester. Is there anything we should know or pay attention to?”

Keep it brief and collaborative.

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1. Take Baby Steps

Help your child take small, consistent actions.

Patiently.

Persistently.

Think:

* Tiny wins
* Small improvements
* Micro-successes

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Most students don’t change overnight.

Progress happens through consistent small actions.

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7. Do Weekly Sunday Night Overhauls

Once the semester begins, schedule a weekly reset.

Every Sunday night:

* Update the planner
* Organize the backpack
* Clean the study space
* Check assignments
* Review upcoming deadlines

This is one of the most effective habits families can build.

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Final Thoughts

So here’s the recap:

1. Relax and connect.
2. Print the grade details.
3. Have a pre-talk.
4. Have the heart-to-heart conversation.
5. Do a complete system overhaul.
6. Take patient, persistent baby steps.
7. Do weekly Sunday night overhauls.

Most importantly:

Enjoy your child.

The relationship is more important than anything else.

Have fun together during the break. Connect. Recharge.

Then start taking small steps forward.

My name is Seth Perler. If you found this helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit.

Take care, and I’ll see you soon.