I’m Worried For Our Kids

Parents and teachers, what’s up? It’s me, Seth Perler.

This video is really important. And if you’re not a parent or teacher—but you’re a therapist, para, tutor, grandparent, or anybody who cares about kids—this video is for you too.

This is not my normal kind of video.

For those who don’t know me, my name is Seth Perler. I’m an executive function coach, and I help struggling students navigate education so they can have a good life.

I’m going to talk fast in this video. For those who don’t know me, watch the first couple minutes and decide if you want to keep watching. I think this one is really important and timely, and it has a different tone than I usually take in my videos.

I’m going to zoom out and talk about the bigger problem and what I’m worried about with kids right now, and then I’ll zoom back in and give some quick solutions.

So let’s start here:

We love our kids. We want the best for them.

That’s why you work with kids. That’s why you’re a parent. That’s why you’re watching this video.

You want your kids to be happy, healthy, successful, and to have a good life. And if you’re watching executive function videos, you’re probably concerned about how executive function challenges may impact their future, and you’re looking for solutions.

Either way, we all want what’s best for our kids.

Education comes from the Latin word educare, which means “to lift up” or “to bring up.”

What do we do with our kids?

– We raise them.
– We bring them up.
– We lift them up.

Why do we use those phrases?

Because education is meant to elevate people—not pull them down.

So let me zoom out for a second.

Schools were created thousands of years ago. Around 4,000 years ago in Mesopotamia, there were some of the first schools. In 1635, the first school was established in what is now the United States, and the first public schools came later.

We created schools, curriculum, teachers, educators, textbooks, standards—all of these systems—because we want our kids to have a good life.

Then came March 2020.

March 19, 2020, was the first day of lockdowns in the United States, and at that time we were all basically on the same page.

Collectively, around the globe, people were saying:

 “What is going on?”

We were scared, confused, frustrated, uncertain.

Masks felt strange. Seeing people with face coverings was unfamiliar, at least in this country. We didn’t know where to get information, what to believe, or what to tell our kids.

But despite all of that, people were coming together.

Remember when musicians were collaborating online and creating supportive, inspirational content? There was this sense of:

 “We’re all in this together.”

Now it feels almost like the opposite.

People are deeply divided over:

– vaccines
– politics
– gender
– race
– conspiracy theories
– media narratives

There’s so much divisiveness, at least in the United States.

And my fear is this:

All of that tension trickles down to our kids.

I’m genuinely concerned about what kids are going to experience this fall because of the collective trauma, the anxiety, and the fact that so many nervous systems are operating on high alert.

To explain what I mean, imagine this:

You’re swimming in a swimming pool you’ve known your whole life. You feel safe. Something brushes against your leg, and you calmly look down and realize it’s just a pair of goggles.

No big deal.

Now imagine you’re swimming in the ocean. Before getting in, you noticed a sign warning about a recent shark sighting.

You’re in the water, and suddenly something brushes your leg.

Now your nervous system reacts completely differently.

You think:

– Was that a shark?
– Was it seaweed?
– Was it nothing?
– Am I safe?

The water is murky. You’re on alert.

That’s what our nervous systems are designed to do. They’re intelligently wired to keep us safe.

And right now, many of us are collectively operating like we’re in the ocean after seeing the shark sign.

My concern is not simply that adults are stressed.

My concern is:

 What are our kids going to experience because of it?

Kids are coming from homes with very different viewpoints and emotional climates. Teachers and schools are trying to manage all of this while already overwhelmed.

There was already major teacher burnout before COVID. Now there’s even more turnover and even more inexperienced teachers entering classrooms—many with huge hearts and good intentions, but limited support.

So how do we support:

– teachers?
– parents?
– staff?
– kids?

That’s what I want to talk about.

I have 19 ideas. Take what helps and leave what doesn’t.

### 1. Know that teachers and school staff are overloaded.

Just keep that in mind.

Their inboxes are overloaded. Their schedules are overloaded. They’re balancing lesson planning, grading, emotional support, and countless responsibilities.

Just remember that.

### 2. Pay teachers better.

That probably won’t happen immediately, but there’s another way to “pay” teachers:

– gratitude
– appreciation
– support

Thank them verbally or in writing.

Ask:

 “What do you need? How can we support you?”

Even if they say they don’t need anything, simply knowing you’re on their side matters.

### 3. Assume positive intent.

Yes, there are some teachers who shouldn’t be in classrooms—but that’s not the norm.

Most are doing the best they can with the support, time, resources, and energy they have.

Assume positive intent unless there’s a real reason not to.

### 4. Proactively email teachers.

Earlier I said don’t overwhelm teachers with emails. Now I’m saying:

– send brief, helpful emails
– keep them concise
– communicate your child’s needs clearly

For example:

 “Maybe you haven’t had time to read the IEP yet, so here are the three most important things to know.”

Then end with:

 “No need to reply. Please delete this after reading. We appreciate you.”

Teachers often feel pressure to respond to everything. Remove that burden when possible.

### 5. Advocate when needed.

If the workload is unrealistic, say so.

For example:

 “The five-page essay wasn’t possible for us. We got one paragraph done. Please take that into consideration.”

Advocate calmly and honestly.

### 6. Learn about enrichment and unschooling.

A lot of parents worry about what their kids “lost” academically.

But ultimately, we want our kids to build lives around:

– strengths
– passions
– interests
– talents
– meaning
– purpose

Look into enrichment and the unschooling movement for ideas about how to nurture those strengths outside traditional systems.

### 7. Realize that you are already teaching executive function.

Parents and teachers are already teaching:

– planning
– routines
– organization
– systems

Just become more aware of it and point it out to kids.

### 8. Share your ideas.

I don’t have all the answers.

You have ideas too. Share them with others. Build community.

### 9. Go to TEFOS.

The Executive Function Online Summit is at [executivefunctionsummit.com](https://executivefunctionsummit.com?utm_source=chatgpt.com).

It’s free, online, and designed to support parents in meaningful ways.

### 10. Do your own inner work.

When we work on:

– our nervous systems
– our patterns
– our self-care
– our healing

—we model regulation for our kids.

That matters enormously.

### 11. Find support groups.

Parents need support too.

Find groups, communities, or people you can talk to.

### 12. Be thoughtful about media.

Learn about:

– confirmation bias
– cognitive biases
– misinformation

Be aware that media—of all kinds—can be emotionally manipulative.

Pause and question things thoughtfully.

### 13. Hold space for your child.

Listen more.

Don’t always rush to solve or lecture.

Be present.

### 14. Talk proactively about acceptance and inclusion.

Discuss:

– diversity
– equity
– inclusion
– acceptance

Help your child think critically and compassionately.

### 15. Ask your child questions.

Ask:

 “What are you seeing at school?”
 “What do you think?”
 “What ideas do you have?”

Kids often have remarkable insights.

### 16. Plan time for connection.

Actually schedule it.

Kids need connection.

### 17. Laugh together.

Play. Have fun. Don’t let childhood become all stress and pressure.

### 18. Love them through action and words.

Say things like:

 “I love you.”
 “I’m here for you.”
 “You can tell me anything.”
 “I won’t respond perfectly, but I will try.”

Say it often.

Open the door emotionally so they know they can come to you when they need you.

My name is Seth Perler. My video recording broke three times while making this, but I really wanted to get this message out today.

I hope you have a beautiful day filled with connection with your child.

At [sethperler.com](https://sethperler.com?utm_source=chatgpt.com), you can find lots of freebies for parents and teachers. And the Executive Function Summit is coming up August 20th.

If you like what I’m doing, please share this video with someone, leave a comment, and tell us your ideas too.

Take care, everybody.