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FOR STUDENTS: Hail Mary – End of the semester STRATEGIES

I made this one ESPECIALLY for middle, high school and college students to BECAUSE this is the time of the semester when things can completely f a l l a p a r t !!!!!!!!!!!

Parents, you’ll want to view it first and then share it with your child if you think they’ll like it.

We cover these 10 tips:

clarity, portal
plan
PEPR
honesty
advocacy
accountability
don’t motivate
baby steps
persistence
more persistence

AND, we need you to develop your best self.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey, what’s up? This is Seth from SethPerler.com, I’m an executive function coach out of Boulder Colorado. Today I’m going to talk about the “Hail Mary” time at the end of the semester. Middle school, high school, college students, I’m making a video for you. You’re probably getting this because a parent or teacher has forwarded it to you (you probably don’t follow my blog). But I am making this for you. Right now it’s December 9th, Sunday. I send my blog out every Sunday, most of the students that I work with are students who struggle with what’s called “executive function.” Students who have a lot of missing assignments, incompletes, late work, and zeros. They wait until the last minute on things, their grades are suffering, and they’re really smart students whose grades do not reflect how smart they are. And so I work with people who are going through that, that’s what I do it day in and day out. It is December 9th and most of my students have two weeks left. So we got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday of this week, and then also next week before winter break. Now students here’s the deal. This is Hail Mary time. And that means that this is a particularly interesting time because a lot of students either pull it together and do fine at the end of the semester, or don’t and then get a bunch of D’s and F’s at the end of the semester. So they’re kind of teetering between those two sides. I’m going to tell you how to get through. I’m going to give you 10 tips to get through this Hail Mary time so that you can end the semester on a high note. Using less energy so that you have more freedom, more free time, more time for yourself, and that you’re wasting less time spinning your wheels trying to get your schoolwork done so you can get it done more efficiently and more effectively. So again, you got two weeks left. You got this week and next week, and that final Friday usually is a wash, the day before break. Usually, nothing happens. So really you have nine actual school days, meaningful school days, that you have to get this stuff done. So let me go through this. Number 1: Plan. If you want to be successful during the Hail Mary time when usually you’re doing a bunch of makeup work, a lot of late work, and you’re also dealing with your current work, but you also have upcoming work during this time. If you have a bunch of zeros, incompletes, makeup work, and stuff like that, you want to make a plan. So planning. You have to plan it out. You have to get it out in front of you. Okay, so that’s number one: be good at planning during this time. Number 2: Clarity. In order to plan well, you have to get clarity. You have to be clear on what’s going on. How do you get clarity? You look at the portal and you examine it. If you have an online portal, you look at it really clearly, print off the pages with all your zeros, missings, incompletes, low scores, test corrections, whatever. Print up those sheets or make your own specialized list or just take a notecard to make a list of everything that you got to be worrying about, or make multiple notecards for multiple classes. I don’t care how you do it. But you have to get clear on what’s going on. Part of what my students struggle with is that they’re not even clear on what’s going on. They don’t even know what to do. They don’t even know when it’s due, and when they do know, they don’t even know the expectations. Don’t worry. There’s no shame in this. I went through that myself, but I ended up almost failing out of high school and then actually failing out of college, and then dropping out of a second college not doing well. I eventually went back to school and did well, but I really struggle with this stuff. So this is what happens to my students when they don’t figure this out. So you need clarity. My students don’t know what’s going on. They don’t have clarity. You need it. You get it 1) from the portal 2) you get it from your planner 3) you get from scouring through your folders 4) you get up by going up to your teacher (honestly and be like, “Dude. Hey, what do we got to do? I’m not doing real well, I need some clarity.”). So number two is clarity. Number one was planning. Number two is clarity. They go hand-in-hand. Number 3: PEPR. I want you to understand this concept of PEPR. At the end of the semester, again, not only are you dealing with your late working and missing work, not only are you dealing with current work, but you’re also dealing with very large long-term projects that come at the end of the semester. Long-term projects come in four ways. PEPR. Papers, exams, projects, and readings. You have long-term papers; papers that take a long time to write. You have final exams that are long-term because they take a lot of studying (not just the night before or the morning of). You have long-term projects that need to be done not the night before. And then you have long-term reading assignments. Very large reading assignments – books or chapters that take a long time. The problem with PEPR with long-term stuff is that a student’s wait until the last minute. Students who struggle with this stuff wait until the last minute. They are not proactive. They did not plan. They do not have clarity. They tend to be very unrealistic about the amount of time and energy that’s required to do these PEPR things, these papers need to be written. They think, “oh, I’ll do it in an hour.” It takes 6 to 10 hours typically to write a paper. The exams – you need to study for hours for them. They think they can do it in 30 minutes the night before. And then projects that need to be done take hours. They rushed through them the night before if they do them at all. And then reading takes a long time to really read it in a scholarly, intentional, and mindful way. You need to actually read and think while you’re reading. There’s PEPR. So planning, clarity, PEPR. Number 4: Honesty. So you got to be honest with yourself, your parents, and your teachers. Honest with yourself to be like, “Yeah, I keep thinking that I can do this and I keep procrastinating, and honestly, I procrastinate. Honestly, I’m not very motivated to do this. Honestly, this is not fun for me. Honestly, I want to do well but I don’t want to do the work that it takes to do well.” And in being honest with your parents to, say, “Hey, you know what I’m I’m struggling with some stuff. I need a little help. Can you give me a tutor for this, can help me with that? Can you hold me accountable?” And in being honest with your teachers, “Hey, I’m not doing great in your class and I know that and I do want to do well. What tips you have?” Honesty, honesty, honesty. There’s a lot of integrity behind that. Number 5: Advocacy. And that means asking for help. This is one of the hardest things for humans to do. But, people who are successful in any area of life, i.e. look at the best performers in any area, whether you’re a sports fan, art, music, etc. The people that you respect, the people that you like, they have learned to ask for help and have advocated for themselves. They’ve said, “Hey, I’m struggling with this. I want this kind of result. Will you please help me.” How do you do this? 1) You ask your teachers for help, you advocate for yourself with them. “Hey, I’m struggling with this not working for me. I need your help.” 2) your parents 3) tutors 4) school counselor 5) friends who are good at the stuff you’re not good at. You’re good at certain things, and you want to be able to help people with that because you’re better and you can excel at certain things. But you want to find people who are better at school than you are and ask them for help. Whatever the case may be, advocate for yourself. Number 6: Accountability. A lot of times we have good intentions. We think “Yeah, I’ll get it done. I’ll get it done tomorrow. I’ll get it done later tonight. I’ll get it done next week.” Okay, so we think we’re going to get something done. We have a goal. We want to get it done we intend to, but it doesn’t end up happening, over, and over, and over. If we’re honest with ourselves, we see that pattern. If we aren’t honest with ourselves we deny it. We lie about it. We make excuses all the time. So what you want is, you want accountability. That means you go up to somebody who’s a good friend, who’s a mentor, the teacher you say, “Hey, I got to get this done. Will you get on me and help bug me until it’s done. Will you remind me of this? Will you send me a text to this? Will you please sit with me while I do this? Maybe we’ll both work together the same time on different things” (that’s call co-working). Whatever you need for accountability. Accountability is when you tell someone, “Hey, this what you can expect for me. I’m going to work hard on this. Will you help hold me to that. Will you help push me.” People don’t have accountability partners in some way, shape, or form, and who are not self-motivated really struggle with a lot of things in life. So you want accountability. Number 7: Motivation. Don’t worry about it. A lot of people (society, teachers, parents) will tell you you need to be more motivated. I will tell you that with the students I work with, I do not talk about motivation. I do not care if you’re motivated or not. I do not care if I’m motivated or not. If I’m not motivated to pay my bills I get kicked out, I get evicted. If I’m not motivated to pay my car payment, my car gets taken away. If I’m not motivated to pay my electricity it gets shut off. If I’m not motivated to work, I can’t buy food. I can’t buy the things that I need. It doesn’t matter if I’m motivated to do those things. They need to be done. So when people wait for motivation, you’re not going to have it. It may come. It may come because you suffer and you got in trouble and you have consequences. But is that really good motivation that helps you? It may come because someone promises you a reward, but is that really motivating you? So don’t worry about motivation. Forget about the word motivation. What I do instead, I’m moving on to the next one. So I’ve gone over planning, clarity, PEPR, honesty, advocacy, accountability, and now motivation. Number 8: Baby steps. Don’t worry about being motivated, worry about taking a micro-step. A baby step. Taking a millimeter step forward, worrying about taking some action. I don’t care what it is. Reorganize your backpack for one minute. You’ll probably do it for more. Do one problem on your math, don’t worry about the whole math sheet. Do one sentence in the paper you’re supposed to write. I’m not saying don’t do the whole thing. But what I’m saying is, is when we think about “Oh my gosh, I have this paper to write or the test to study for or reorganizing my backpack,” it feels overwhelming. When we feel overwhelmed we feel resistant. When we feel resistant, we procrastinate and we don’t do it. So what I’m suggesting is don’t worry about motivation, worry about baby steps. Do something. Take some tiny micro action. Move a millimeter. Do a little bit. People who are successful have learned the art of taking small steps and they just keep taking small steps in the steps add up. So don’t get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the school work that you have to do. That’s overwhelming and that’s going to hold you back. Worry about taking baby steps. Just take a baby step tonight, right? The second this video is over to do something small for yourself for your own good. Do a tiny little step and then another, and then another, another. Number 9: Persistency. Keep taking baby steps. Persist, persist, persist. Never ever ever give up. Trust me. I have struggled with so much stuff with ADD and executive function issues my whole life, okay. But I am a successful human being right now living the lifestyle I want beautiful Colorado, which I love. I get to travel, I get to have this awesome life, I have great friends, I have great people. I have a really good life. But I almost failed out of high school. I did fill out of college. I almost out of a second college. I was a failure. I felt like a lazy loser failure who couldn’t do anything. How did I change that? I persisted. I started turning my life around and I took tiny tiny steps. Number 10: More persistence. Do not give up. Continue persisting. Persist, persist, persist. Then you’re going to get off track. Then things are going to fall apart. It doesn’t matter. Get back on track as soon as you’re ready to improve and persist some more. Take more baby steps, persist with baby steps. So that is it. That’s the secret to it. There’s no magic. It’s just taking baby steps, and you will be able to accomplish your goals. Whether it’s with school, whether there with what you want to do in your future, whether it has to do with your hobbies or your interest or your passions. Whatever. You just keep taking little steps and you will get there. Okay, that’s where it’s at. There’s no magic. Trust me. I do this. I’m in the business of helping students change their educational life. It’s not like we’re going to have some giant magical epiphany. Worry about the micro-steps. So to recap: 1) you got to make a plan and you got to keep making plans. 2) you need clarity. You got to know what the expectations are, what has to be done. You have to be concrete in what you need to do in the next two weeks. 3) you got to be aware of PEPR, your long-term project that people wait till the last minute to do. 4) you got to be honest with yourself, and then be honest with the other people in your life. 5) you got to advocate for yourself. Say, “Hey, will you please help me.” Be humble and ask for help. 6) accountability. You got to tell people, “Hey, will you hold me to it and make sure I do that and help push me.” 7) don’t worry about motivation. Forget about it because the next one is the power of baby steps. 8) Baby steps. 9) persist. Keep taking baby steps. 10) more persistence. Just keep persisting. Keep on keeping on. Every time you get off track, get back on track. Finally, I’m going to wrap up this video with this. This is no joke, the world needs you. Literally you, the person I’m speaking to on this video right now. You, the person that’s listening to this. We need you to develop your strengths, your talent, your passions, your interests, your gifts. We need you to develop you to be the best you that you can be. Why? Because the world has problems. You’re growing up in a world that has problems and you are the future. You get to be somebody who participates in the world and communities in a way where you do something awesome for the world (or not). Okay, but the choice is yours. We do need you, and even if your ‘struggling in school and your grades aren’t great,’ we need you to figure out who you are and do the awesome things that you were born to do. So the way that you’re going to do anything is by this persistence, by learning how to persist and have some grit and resilience. Keep trying and pushing yourself, and don’t worry about perfection. That’s not what it’s about. But we need you to do your best. I mean look at me — this is my studio. It’s posters, it’s things that represent me. It’s not perfect. It’s the best I can do. But I try to share my message with the world. I’m doing my best. I’m trying to play my part and you play yours. So we need you. When I say, we, I’m really saying the adults in your life that care about you. We want you to have a great future, not a mediocre future. I don’t want you to have an average future. I want you to have a great future and an awesome life. A life filled with possibilities, a life filled with opportunities. A life filled with choice is not a limited life that’s stuck in a little box where you’re struggling through everything all the time. I want you to be free. I want you to have freedom and joy and bring your awesomeness to the world. So anyhow with that, you can watch this video a couple of times if you want. My name is Seth Perler, SethPerler.com. Go ahead and subscribe on YouTube. Click the thumbs up. Leave a comment if you want. And have a fantastic next two weeks. Persist, persist, persist. Get these 2 weeks over with, get onto your winter break, and have an awesome time when you’re free. And you know, you’re done with the past semester and you’ve done all right.

Education On Fire

If you like this, please **CLICK ABOVE TO SHARE**

Here’s a new 45 min. podcast I did with Mark Taylor out of London. It was a ton of fun and you might get a lot out of it. He asked me the following:

Who are you?
What does your life look like now and how is it different from when you were growing up?
What was valuable about your school experience?
Which teachers do you remember and why?
Who did you admire when you were young?
What was it about that person that had such an impact?
What was the best piece of advice you have ever been given and who gave it to you?
What advice would you give your younger self?
What does your future look like?
What podcast, book, video, film, song or other resource has had the biggest impact on your life and why?

Mark has a podcast network “exploring a world of endless learning possibilities.” Here’s part of his description:

“Do you want your children to be happy, creative and inspired? To have an inner belief that they can achieve anything? Whether you are a student, parent, teacher or leader we have a podcast for you. For adolescents and supportive parents. I interview people living life on their terms. They share their wisdom and insights to help you discover your true voice.” Check it out right here on his site: https://www.educationonfire.com/executive-function-with-seth-perler-lf013/ Here on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/learning-on-fire/id1435824784 Here on Android: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/education-on-fire/learning-on-fire If you have an iOS or Google device just search for Learning on Fire in the podcast app.

If you like this, please **CLICK BELOW TO SHARE**

Homeschool & Executive Function

I don’t talk about homeschooling often, but I think about it a lot and have a lot of blog followers who homeschool, so I’ve definitely got ideas for you. I recently received a great question from a homeschool mom: “I just want to request that you more fully address a topic that I have not found on your site. Could you please address homeschooling? In homeschooling, it seems, executive functioning skills such as organization of papers, deadlines, turning in homework, etc are far less of a daily necessity. Yet, they are so important to the rest of life. I’m just wondering if you could suggest/do a blog/video on how to incorporate more executive functioning skill building into our homeschool. My children are only accountable to me so often there’s a lot of resistance and so little natural consequence to not following through. I know you’ve mentioned not using motivation or consequences, therefore, I am often left feeling like I’m powerless to help develop these skills. Homeschooling is a unique situation, not needing the backpack overhaul and such. Will you please address it? Thank you for what you do and for your time. Your work is extraordinary! I hope what I am requesting is clear.” Here I go into the topic in one of my longest videos yet – I address some homeschool ideas in-depth for 35 minutes. My intention was to give you a good idea of what you want to keep in the back of your head about executive function if you homeschool. I discuss:

How we want ALL kids happy successful launch, we’re all trying to do the same thing regardless of educational approach.
Why EF skills are so important for ANY career, and for all children.
The importance of planting seeds asap.
How to find the balance between freedom and structure.
About firm boundaries.
How to adapt the principles to your child.
The need for ownership and buy-in.
How students need “project management.”
Thoughts on homeschooling and planning, priorities, organization, color coding, inboxes, google docs, files for life, files for each project with checklists, routines (visual), set due dates, metacognition, routine times for responsibilities, catchalls, self-evaluation, homes for things, etc..
How to work with homeschool resistance, ask what consequence should be, what reward should be.

I hope this helps you! Seth ps- If you notice I’m somewhere new, I’m filming from my parent’s home in Indianapolis over Thanksgiving break. Hope you had a great holiday! If you like my work, please CLICK BELOW TO SHARE with your people (or any way you wish)

HOW to handle work over THANKSGIVING break

ps- If you liked this, please click above to SHARE and be sure to subscribe to my blog! There are some VERy predictable problems associated with Thanksgiving Break. This video goes into it in a few steps: 1. Understand the problem: What is PEPR? Understand that many students are inaccurate and unrealistic with knowing what needs to be done. Ineffective strategies to do what needs to be done. 2. Do not take your child’s information at face value. Get clarity through the portal and emailing teachers for clarity. 3. Do a system overhaul over break. 4. Chunk times the right way. 5. Be present for quality time. No stressful school talk at random times. 6. Enjoy the time with the family. ps- If you liked this, please click below to SHARE and be sure to subscribe to my blog!

Student CAN’T or WON’T ???

Please CLICK above to share. This vlog is based on a recent email:

…He is now twelve, in 6th grade. Because he will be going to secondary school next year the sped teachers are hugely focused on executive function. Where it breaks down is their approach which assumes competencies he doesn’t yet have. And he (mostly respectfully) pushes back. The sped teacher says they are open to suggestions and I’ve shared your toolkit. Thanks for what you do.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

What’s up with me Seth or Steph Curry. Com. I am an executive function coaching Boulder, Colorado help struggling students navigate this thing called school. So how do we help these students? Well, I have a letter here today from somebody and she’s talking about her 6th grader. It goes like this. I just learned about your site and I look forward to exploring him or he is now 12. He’s in sixth grade because of me going to the secondary school next year that the sped teachers are hugely focused on Executive function. Where breaks down as their approach which assumes competencies. He doesn’t yet have and he mostly respectfully pushes back. The best teacher says they are open to suggestions and I shared your tool Godiva free to look at on my website when you sign up for the block. Thanks for what you do. So, this is a great a great email and what I really am going to focus on here is this part where it says where breaks down is their approach which is soon competencies. He doesn’t yet have many many many many teachers do not understand executive function, even if they think they do even if they can defy me even if they can talk about it. They don’t really understand it. It’s a relatively new term being used a lot and people don’t understand it. If you want to get to know it look at my website on the executive function article where the exhaust Italy goes into it because it is not simple. But basically you can assume that most students who struggle in school struggle with executive function in some way shape or form and here it says they assume competencies. He doesn’t yet have that means that a lot of times teachers Educators parents too, but they’ll they’ll think that a student can do more than they can and then that brings up this whole awesome topic of is it a cancer or is it a won’t is it that the student can’t do it or that they won’t do it and that lying sometimes gets gray and I think it gets more won’t to the more the older I get the more in the middle and high school. They get the more frustrated more than more. They feel beaten down the more it becomes a won’t But I want you two to consider that most often. It really is a can’t they do not have the complexity skills the navigate school to do planners to do the process of homework and and take care of themselves and have free time and down time in Balance live it they literally do not so when I’m wearing this to new Star Wars with executive function, I am helping them grow millimeter by millimeter. I’m not trying to if they don’t have certain competencies. I’m not trying to get them from here to here. I’m trying to get there from here to hear. Okay. So one of the things that I hear a lot particularly and middle and high school is the teachers would the student will have accommodations and the teachers are the school or somebody will say yeah. Well the student can have these a comedy But they have to advocate for themselves but hear this says assume competencies. He doesn’t yet have oh my God. It drives me nuts because these kids if they’re not advocating for themselves. Do not understand have the skill of being able to stop Advocate yet. They haven’t learned how to do it. So when you tell student, oh, yeah, you can have an accommodation but you have to ask for it first and they cannot even they don’t even know where their backpack is. They don’t even remember the combination their locker. So they Jam everything their backpack. They don’t even know what class had neck then even know what time it is. They don’t know what they have for homework. They bought their planner again the really struggling with so many things they’re having social situation you got to eat. These are the kids who were really legitimately struggling and then the school is like, yeah, but you have to do not do not understanding that this is something that the kid can’t do not a won’t sew competencies. He doesn’t yet have our cans. So as a parent or as a professional We have to really look and determine is it a can’t or won’t or is there gray and how do we support them? From where they’re at to get to the next micro-level not to get wet up here. Are we support them to be able to do that? You get so much farther by taking such smaller steps. I’m going to say that again parents and teachers you get so much smaller by taking so much farther by taking smaller steps. We want them to have successful experiences. So what you can ask yourself is what is the next step that can be taken that they can see that they’re successful in the way that I look at it as I want to push them beyond their comfort zone because if I don’t push him beyond their comfort zone, that’s an enabling world that’s in coddling world. You want a person pass a comfort zone, but you also don’t want to push them pass through threshold because of you pushing past the threshold they withdraw they resist they give up you lose them so that they can Be a very small area to plan sometimes Mac and be a very big challenge that takes a lot of time to develop but essentially that’s what we’re looking for. We’re trying to figure out where is that zone that we can push them that we can Elevate them just a little bit so that they can get the next level do they have giant breakthroughs and epiphanies and stuff like that sure sometimes but I’m not as a professional banking on that to help make the kids regrets that is not where it’s at. That’s lucky if we get some of those I’m looking at how can we take very real small steps to get them to the next level and whatever the area is that we are working on. So hen in the last thing I want to talk about is the iceberg here. So the tip of the iceberg is is what we see but beneath the surface again is where we need to be working. This is where a resistance is. It’s beneath the surface or something beneath the surface. It’s emotionally stressful. They’re having a visceral experience that means somatic stressful experience their avoidant what their stuff going on below the surface so we often see this and what did the tip of the iceberg often is is they look non-compliant. They’re not turning in the market missing saving complete them 30 minutes in the projects are not aware of what’s going on. We see the symptoms, but we don’t see often the cost. So what happens with that also a lot at all is that we often see the symptoms and we attribute the cause to the wrong thing. And here’s what we often attributed the cause to we often attribute the Cause 2. He or she is lazy. They’re just not putting forth enough effort. They’re not trying hard enough. They just must not care about school and things like that these shaming messages that do not offer any sort of solution. If you’re lazy than the solution is just get unlazy if you’re not motivated. The solution is get motivated. If you’re not this one the solution is get this one. If you don’t care about school enough the solution is care about school more. You’re not trying hard enough to the messages. Just try harder these these messages with the kids internalized them and they feel them very deeply but they are shaming in these messages. Do not offer a solution. Okay, just go do your homework just go spend more time. So they don’t know how they don’t add this person said half the competencies do I have just want to break that down a little bit for you? And I know this is hard but just focus please on the baby steps to small steps with underneath the surface and how can we Elevate them a little bit and support them from where they’re at and be Very realistic about it so that we can actually move them forward and not move them backward not make them more resistant not make them less motivated not make them more ashamed and stuff like that to hurt my sights set the Pro. Com sign up for the free gifts subscribe on YouTube thumbs up at throw comment down there. Tell me what you think. Have a great day.

INEQUALITIES in Education are REAL

Please CLICK above to share. This vlog is based off a recent email I received:

Hello! I appreciate the concept but have a couple of concerns. First, I work in a district that is part of a low income, rural community. Most of the students and their families do not have the income to purchase the supplies that you mention in this video. Second, many students’ parents are not educated or do not value education. I realize the importance of this topic, and encouraged my students when I was a classroom teacher, but I know the financial and attitude struggles students can face.

Here I go on a bit of a passionate rant, but it’s SUCH an important topic.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

Stop. This is Stephen step forward, and executive function coach out of Boulder Colorado. And I’m here today to respond to an email that I received that goes as follows and I’m going to help you guys understand how I look at some of the inequities that we experience here. Hello, I appreciate the concept but I have a couple of concerns first. I work in the district. That’s part of a low income rural community most of the students and their families do not have the income to purchase the supplies that you mentioned in this video II many of the students and parents are not educated or do not value education. I realize the importance of this topic and I encourage my students when I was a classroom teacher but no the financial in an attitude struggles students can face. Okay. I really actually appreciate this email and I think this is very important in one of the things I get for first Let Me Explain something this was in response to a tool kit. So I’ll my website when you sign up for my website I sent out free videos to help students and this was the response to Tool number to where I talked about how important it is to have a secret study space how important it is for student and in whether or not they’re being homeschooled or in public school or private school or whatever, but is it for a suit? Do you have a secret study space a place a space in the home where they can focus where they can remove distractions when they can focus on the things that they need to do for their education, whether it’s doing homework writing papers reading for class doing school projects or whatever it is now. most of the people who follow my blog most of the people are in traditional Public Schools, but I also people homeschool who on school who have private schools or who were in situations where there in a low-income rural community or low-income District or what have you One of the things for me that has bothered me for my entire career. Is that the people who can afford what I do? They are not low income they have a lot of money and that’s fine. I don’t really care what kids I serve but that means that in order for me to be able to make a living and do what I do. That’s who I generally serve so part of the reason that I give away a free blog and I put hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours into designing the blog making the content sending it out every single week. I put so much time and effort heart and energy into this is so that anybody can access these ideas that I believed in so that that’s first of all and second of all I also do pro bono stop and I have offered many times and I’ve done a lot of free talks and I am available. Call to people when they need it. I I want to help anybody that I can I want to also address. This email says working at District. That’s low income rural community. Most of the students their families do not have the income to purchase the supplies. You mentioned this video. This is it drives me nuts that we the minimum wage is as low as it is that you cannot make a living in this country in 2018 and that I’m working with students because I believe in education and I want them to have a great future and we are raising kids, excuse me for ranting but it is it’s painful for me to watch and to know the reality that we are raising kids and educating kids and we are not preparing them to live in the world that we are raising them in we are not giving them what they need and particularly kids who struggle with executive function particularly be That that have trouble getting done what needs to get done. They are at so much risk for their future for not being able to achieve their goals and dreams for not being able to have a happy and successful future for having life circumstances. If they can’t figure out how to execute that are going to be very difficult for them. That is not why I do what I do. The reason I do what I do is because I want my SCI want all students. I don’t care from what background I don’t care what religion I don’t care. What political leanings I don’t care anyting. I want human beings all human beings all children to be able to grow up and have a happy and successful future. So I share your concerns and I don’t talk about this lie, because I try to keep my blog very focused. I don’t talk about politics. I don’t talk about my opinions on a lot of things. I try to keep my blog focused on solution and kids should have a sacred study face among other things, but I know that if these kids do not have the income to purchase these things they are at a disadvantage and then when you have kids who can afford SAT and ACT courses that are outside of school and things like supplies and tutors and coaches and therapist and all the stuff. It is not fair. It is not right. It is not Equitable. It is not. Okay, but that is where we live at. Now. I am dedicated to giving you everything that I can give you all my online course. I have people who ask for for scholarships. I do that in different ways. Three different families depending on what their situations are. I work with live families for free or cheap. Sometimes I do what I can do. I would love to help every kid in the world, but I can’t but through the blog I give away real stuff. So anyhow, I do understand that a lot of people can’t it can’t afford the stuff. Now what I will say is that if you are watching and you cannot afford the things that I recommend don’t worry about that, what you want to focus on is you want to focus on the principle behind what I am trying to teach. So for example, I’m standing here to a standing desk right now it if you cannot afford a standing desk, it doesn’t matter if it’s a standing desk or not. It could be a countertop. It could be a piece of what I used to have one that I just nailed to the wall in it, but it’s not about a standing desk. It’s about movement that on my brain My ATT brain can focus better with movement in a lot. The kid that I work with can focus better than sitting all day long for 7 hours in a death and then coming home and sitting all night long working on homework, which they shouldn’t be working on that much homework. Anyway is removing but you we can throw a lot of students can focus better with movement. So if it ball standing whatever doesn’t matter if the concept is moving, so what I would encourage you to do is that if the things that I teach seem Out Of Reach For You focus on me principal, I’m trying to convey behind it. That’s what’s really important. So I want to mention that in my kind of ranting today. I just pisses me off that I I know that we are setting up a lot of kids in our country for failure and we are not giving them the opportunities that they should have it is not okay and it disturbs me deeply and I don’t really care about America or in this country. I care about the world kids around the world that are not going to have opportunities to self-actualize and do what they want in life and have a good life where they can have their basic human needs to let me move on second many parents are not educated or do not value education and realize the importance of this topic encourage my students but no the financial and attitude struggles that students can face, I guess what would that finally brings me to is this how you talk about the attitude struggles students can face and I I will shut up with this but my my one of my other gigantic concerns is that in my opinion we often do not teach teachers to the artists who have a craft of serving kids and an understanding how to how to do differentiated different creatively differentiated curriculum that meet the needs of The verse base of students we have overcrowded classrooms. We don’t have enough resources. We don’t have enough training for teachers who don’t pay teachers know if we don’t give them enough time to do what they need to do. We don’t support teachers in the way that they want to be supported to serve. That’s why 50% of teachers Lie by your five imagine that 50% of people in this career that spent years becoming a teacher by their fifth year of their career. They quit people we need desperately serving kids are sober now that they leave in the drives me crazy and then we have, you know a situation where we were telling teachers follow the curriculum. Don’t be an artist don’t think be a robot give out these worksheets give out. This is boring stuff make kids jump through hoops to make them comply and there’s just a lot of very very very very very very deeply rooted dysfunction in the system and well-meaning teachers well-meaning principles. Well meeting School staff don’t even know. That there a perpetuating certain mindsets and ideals and that they’re often shaming kids. That is one of the biggest things that I deal with with my kids with my students with my clients is that they feel shame that you’re getting a message that you’re lazy. You’re not trying hard enough. You must not care about school. Why don’t you just do this one? And you just do that? You’re not doing your homework. You’re not doing a good enough redo this do the corrections. I don’t care that you don’t have a life at night like teachers will get I have so many kids are processing issues or other issues that make their homework or executive function issues that make their homework that might be 20 minutes take three or four hours and some of them just don’t do it and avoid it because they can’t feel successful when they do try hard day. They are told it’s not good enough and then some of them that do spend all that time. And do do all that work and then don’t have time for self-care. Anyhow, I do understand the attitude struggles that you’re talking about. What was that students are facing. Where is it? The students are thinking why should I do this? And I think of that is Asus that deeply deeply rooted to stomach problem where we are not creating engaging education that engages the students and then make them feel good about themselves in that it capitalizes on their strength in their interest in their gifts in their talents yet. We have these boxes that we are putting them in with with our curriculum with our standardization on our testing practices and and all of these very deeply rooted things that frankly gigantic corporations are profiting off of they want to perpetuate the story that is that is increasing profit. That is what they’re there for their businesses. They they want to make money. So they’re not interested in changing the system or shaking anything out there going to want to prevent that from happening and the only way that things are going to change is the more educated you parents teachers people who care about kids and more educated. We are about the issues the more we can look at it with Clarity and say this is not okay. I want this to change in him. We need to come together and yada yada yada and and that this energy rise. Is where people come together and demand change that is the only way things are going to change. So that is enough for me. That was a bit of a rant. I don’t usually talk like that but I think like this all the time my brain is constantly constantly constantly filtering what my students are going through in terms of how is this right for the student? Is this really bringing them to be able to launch a great future. Is this really doing what we think it’s supposed to be doing or not? How should it be? How could be changed? I can be better. What does this kid need in order to create a great future. So it hangs me deeply deeply deeply and that is why I do what I do. It pains me deeply to see any child anywhere on Earth not get the education in the opportunities that they need in order to create a good life. It does not make sense in 2018 and it is what it is. What’s rise me to do what I do. I do my part my Play the best I can do to create my ripple here on Earth while I’m here to make my dent in. The universe is Steve Jobs that but it is not enough and what they’re awesome people Austin teachers awesome Educators, Austin professionals. Awesome parents out there doing a lot of good, but it’s not enough yet. hoof Hi Kevin, sign up for my ball gets up early. Com. Check it out. And I keep fighting the fight and helping kids out. Take care.

What is an “AT RISK” student?

Please CLICK above to share.This vlog is based on a recent email I received:

Thank you Seth for your support. I joined in hopes to find and read ideas you have for helping at risk students. Almost 25% of the students in our Freshman class are at risk, unintentional learners and unmotivated. — High School Instructional Technology Coach

This post explores what at-risk means and how to help.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey, what’s up? My name is Seth. Perler.com. I am an executive function coaching Boulder Colorado. I help struggling students figure out how to navigate this thing called school. So I got this letter from a high school instructional technology coach and it coach and it says this Seth thank you for your support. I joined or signed up your website and hope to find and read ideas you have for helping at-risk students. Almost 25% of our students in our freshman class are risk unintentional Learners in unmotivated. Wow guy’s parents teachers people watching. Please have got I I just I just did another video similar to this but we have got to step it up a million steps. This is not okay. Alright, so first let me let me talk about what does at risk mean says 25% of the freshmen are at risk 25% one in four students. You see walking down the hallway and classroom of 20 kids, which is not ever going to happen a nice goal in the classroom of 20 kids five of them are at risk in school of 2500 are at risk and that’s just the ones who are accounted there may obviously be a lot more. What does that mean? Well the way I describe the purpose of Education Is that when a student is is done with their educational experience? So after high school or college or Gap years or whatever that you consider education? They should have the skills the tools whatever is necessary for them to launch a great future. I use the word launched a lot. So what are they at risk of they are a risk of not being able to launch a happy and successful future their risk of not being able to have the skills the knowledge whatever it is that it takes to have a great future. They were at risk of not being able to have that. So the students that I work with. I’m an executive function coach all of the students that I work with struggle in school. They’re probably technically all at risk and my job is to minimize reduce or remove that risk. That is what I’m trying to do so that they can launch a great future and if you’re a parent or teacher or profession was working with struggling students and you were trying to help them struggling there are at risk their struggling because they’re at risk of not being ever launched and that’s what we’re trying to do here. So thank you so much for your email. It’s just really good to hear concrete from somebody. Who’s out there in the trenches than in terms of what’s going on and what you’re dealing with. So I want to mention the other two things. You said you said unintentional Learners or unmotivated and I have this idea called the intentional learner and it’s like this book idea that I came up with long time ago. But like when I think about what I’m trying to do with students, I don’t talk about this a lot of my block, but I’ll talk about it today. I thought that the best word that I can come up with is that we are trying to help students become intentional learners. Because if you can be mindful conscious self aware as a learner it if you can be a learner who is learning and moving through education with intentionality. Then you have greater choice and freedom in your able to create a better future for yourself. If you are moving through education unintentionally blindly mindlessly unconsciously without self-awareness not metacognitively without inspection without being reflective. Then you are missing one of the key things that anybody needs in order to have a happy and successful future which is the intentionality being intentional not being a robot not being mindless not just doing whatever you’re doing in that thinking about it, but thinking about what you want to do in this lifetime in in this world and how you want to treat people and how you want interact with people in the type of relationship you want to have and what type of contributions you want to make intentionality is such an important key. So thank you for mentioning that Word as well. So corner of them are at risk or unintentional Learners awesome phrase and I’m motivated and that’s the last thing I’ll talk about I do not try to motivate. My students. It is not about motivation to meet. Is it although you’re right and what you said that there are unmotivated but for you parents and teachers out there, I do not I you can do whatever you want. I do not talk to my clients my students about becoming more motivated. I don’t play that game because it’s not a winning game. Telling them they should be more motivated or trying to motivate them is not what gets them to take action. What gets them to take action is reduce dealing with the emotional aspect of what’s going on dealing with you. You have your you have your Iceberg here. And the tip of the iceberg is what we see underneath the iceberg is all of this other it is this huge mass. It’s 80 or 90% of the iceberg is on on underneath. So what’s going on beneath the surface with these kids. What I’m trying to do is I’m trying to find out what’s going on under the surface and usually there resistance comes from their emotionally overwhelmed. So I have to deal with the emotional overwhelm in order to help them get motivated or to take action. And what I’m really trying to do is help them learn how to do what they need to do, even though they’re not motivated. That’s the way I approach it and look at it and convey it to them. Okay. I know you don’t want to do it. That’s cool. I wouldn’t want to do it if I were you either but how do we do it anyhow and overcome the resistance for your own well-being and that’s a whole nother can of worms. That’s what my whole practice is built around his how do you help these kids do what they need to do for their own future well-being, but they’re resistant to doing And again, you’ve got to look at what’s underneath the service, and that’s what we often don’t look at in education. Anyhow, I just wanted to pack that for you guys a little bit and look at that. Again. My name is stuff for a little stuff Pro, I’m an executive function coach at a Boulder, Colorado helping struggling students turn around in school so that they can have a great future. We haven’t signed up. I have a ton of free stuff on my side, and I have free updates then I have a free mini course when you sign up as well, but check out the site. There’s tons of resources for you. Hang in there. Don’t give up. Keep moving forward step by step by step helping your kids turn it around and have a great future. Take care.

Am I A Good Parent?

Please CLICK above to share. Parents, obviously there’s no instruction book for how to help your child. And sometimes children are legitimately difficult to help effectively. When parents come to me, they’re often at their wits end and at a loss. This video explores this a bit, but my main message here is that you are not alone. Not even a little bit. A larger and larger proportion os students are neurodiverse, outside-the-box, atypical learners and thinkers. More and more kids are not effectively served by cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all, inside-the-box educational approaches that seek “standardization.” Your child is not standard, and they need an education that recognizes their differences, and you are not alone. The bell curve is flattening, there are more and more outliers all the time. We need more individualized, personalized education for all learners.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey families, what’s up? It’s me. Step is to throw it out, Hope you having a great day. I’m coming you today from Cougar Mountain outside Seattle. I just did some socks here and Seattle and I’m going to be headed back to Colorado by later today about for my blog this week. I wanted to mention something very interesting. I had my first meet up with people who follow my blog. So I’ve got about a thousand people on the Block so far and I decided we’ll see what happens. If we do meet up and I had about 10 people come to the meet up at a great little restaurant in Capitol Hill in Seattle. So interesting, but I want I want to explain to you one of the most interesting statement that one of the parents shared that day and what she said was that she said I hear parents who complain and they say I have to tell my kid once or twice to do their stuff and it’s so frustrating and she said that is my dream. I would love to only be able to help that asked him once or twice to do their work, but it is a battle to get them. Do anything and I’m paraphrasing. But basically that’s the gist of this conversation what I really want to leave you with parents is this you are not alone. Not only are you not alone. I have 8000 people on the on my list that there are tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of families who have neuro a typical students students who don’t fit inside the box now, it’s not just a few not just a couple of kid. It’s not just an outlier here and there the bell curve is getting flat. So the outliers are growing. Okay gender Sam I’m saying parents to You Are Not Alone there are tons of families in there so much shame wrapped around this in so many parents who feel like they’re not doing it right or there’s something wrong with them or they’re going to be shamed by culture Society or schools are other parents or something that they’re not doing it, right and they’re not good. And there’s so much of this sort of Secret of Shame parents. Don’t often share what’s going on and it’s hard to find a place to share it but it is proven by not only this meet up but tons and tons and tons of people who have emailed me and tons of people families that I work with. This is not just some tiny little outlier. There’s an extraordinary big proportion of kids who do not fit inside the box there a typical Earnest are a typical fingers. There are nodes of children and there is nothing wrong with them. They are not broken. They do not need to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with your child. The even the word wrong is wrong. Okay, they start to feel bad about themselves. They feel like they’re broken. Like there’s something wrong with them and they feel shamed and they have all these struggles. Look your child has a unique framed. Okay, they are a typical and there are no adverse that does not mean weird that does not mean strange that does not mean broken that does not remain wrong. I’m so frustrated right now because I see so many kids suffer in school and so many parents suffer feeling like they’re doing something wrong. You did not get an instruction book and its 2018 and we know more about what is kidney than ever but it isn’t main string at okay, so there is nothing wrong with your child. Now the question that you want to be asking is how do we meet their unique means I’m going to say that again. The question we want to be asking is how do we meet the needs of these neurodiverse kids and my answer for you is not rocket. There’s an old saying in special at it, which we came a saying and get the dad and the saying goes like this. Specialized practice best practices best practice for everyone gifted best practices best practice for everyone parents. What does that mean teachers who are watching you guys probably know what this means already, but that’s a mean that basically for gifted and talented students and for special ed students. It’s since they’re more outliers. It’s more clear that they need more individualized instruction or differentiated instruction. You can look up differentiation. The point is is that these kids need education That’s Amore Taylor. It’s less cookie cutter. It’s tailored and personalized to their own unique idiosyncrasies. Okay. Well that is best practice for everyone and I do believe that okay, so we need education that’s going to meet everyone’s needs. Well that requires an extraordinary amount of effort on the behalf of schools and teachers. They need resources than money and time. Yes, they do things need to change. This is not a Small segment of the population where we can do differentiation for just a few kids. This is a getting to be a larger and larger portion of the kids in each class. We need to train teachers in my opinion to be artist and train the much better and not have 50% of teachers quitting by year five because they’re so burnout. We need to be really supporting them to support our kids. Anyhow, I just wanted to leave you with those thoughts today, you know, it’s the beginning of the year and your parents are starting to see the dip happen already. I’m hearing it in emails and kids are struggling and I have parents asked me how do we articulate these IEPs and 504s? How do we Advocate if we don’t have that and I I just I hear the same stories all the time and that’s because the same problems have not changed and we need to change this the parents you are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. Do you need to be educated and learn about the stuff? Yes, but is there something wrong with you know, you did not get an instruction book, okay. In the system that has not changed nearly enough people are doing great things in education there a lot of innovators in a lot of amazing teachers a lot of amazing people out there, but the system as a whole has not changed and it doesn’t want to change they have no no need to hide their there are people who are profiting off of text books curriculum technology there people that are making store in and testing companies, of course extraordinary billions and billions of dollars. They don’t want to change the stuff. So and it’s not going to change until parents and teachers are so clear on the topic that they can be so outraged that they can say no. I’m not the only parent I know. I’m not the only one coming to you with this issue. I need help. You need to start my child. Let’s do this and there needs to be sort of a united front of all these people. So now I want you to Imagine This About one and five kids has some nerve very there. They’re strung out. Why are there no divorce or a typical 20% go look at on the playground one in every five. How many families is that? A lot of families have more than one kids? So it’s a lot of families. Probably I don’t know 30 or 40% of families. And students who are not no more diverse who are more typical parents don’t want them to grow up to be average anyway or typical they want their needs met in Foster. They want them to shine and be pushed also. So anyhow, there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your kid. That doesn’t mean don’t do anything about obviously you wouldn’t be watching this video because people will follow me are desperately trying to find solution, but I want you to walk away from this video thing. Okay, we’re not crazy. We’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with us. There are plenty of people in the same boat that we are how do we connect with other like-minded families? How do we get the stuff out from and hiding and get away from the shame of it? How do we start to change those things? How do we get our teachers to support that they need so they can support our kids. And so that you guys can hopefully leave this video just asking those questions and feeling like me as a parent. I’m doing the best I know how to do. I’m really trying not going to kill myself. I’m not going to see myself. I’m going to be proud of him showing up. I’m going to go try to connect with other people going to tell Mike get the most important thing in the most important thing you can ever ever ever do for your kid in my Is to have quality time with them is to build the relationship with them. They might have all these struggles. They might fail classes. They might this that and the other, but if you have a great relationship with your child, if you built a healthy secure attachment with your child does not have to be perfect if you’re working in that direction. You guys are creating the relationship and that’s where the primary focus is the least in the back of your head. You’re always work on the relationship that my friends is what you will need when they get older and they have real problems in life. You want them to be able to come to you because you have a great relationship with them and want to communicate with you and want help from you and want connection with you. That is number one in my opinion. I hope you have a great day against the stuff the stuff broward.com. If you like this, please thumbs up at share with somebody that you care about and subscribe if you have not subscribed yet. Have a great day.

Is College Even Right?

Here’s a fantastic email about college prep that I respond to in this week’s vlog:

Hello Seth, I subscribed to your Ed Blog this past spring. Thank you for your passion and adding your voice to an audience of parents AND educators! I’m a Denver parent of a 16 year old 2E boy who is classically twice exceptional. I was able to recognize this as my oldest child is gifted and I’d been through the ‘training’ earlier. I fought for an IEP in middle school and have been my son’s tenacious champion since he was evaluated by a colleague of yours.

At this stage in my daughters high school career, we were in the thick of college/test prep and planning. She is attending a highly selective college and doing well and happy.

My son is in his junior year of high school and attending ½ day at a Technical College studying cyber security, and ½ at his high school going through the motions in his core classes. I’m not convinced that even his alternative high school program leaders are good counselors for his future. Can you offer some thoughts for counseling his post high school, gap year/practical work path?

Thank you for what ever you can suggest and for the time to read my request! Kim”

“I’m at a loss to help my child”

Please CLICK above to share. Here’s an email I received:

I subscribed because I’m seriously lost as to help my child that STRUGGLES with executive functioning— every hour, every day in every situation! His output of schoolwork is far below his capabilities!

This is a great topic that many families experience! Here I dive into several key insights that will help. I discuss how it takes time, how it’s about skill-building NOT perfect output, about the role of emotional regulation, and in video 2 I discuss how you have to attack it from many different angles and why you’re looking for small wins and baby steps. Video 1/2: Video 2/2

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Part 1 — Video transcript:

What’s up? Are we having a great fall? This is Seth with Seth perler.com. And I have an email here from a mom. And it says the following I subscribed to your channel because I’m seriously lost is the help my child that struggles with executive function. Every hour every day in every situation is output of school work as far below is capabilities and that’s all she wrote and I want to respond to this because I hear the pain in her voice. I hear the fear in her voice parents are going through this they’re afraid that if child is not going to be able to launch a good future. They can see down the road and they can see that if their child does not figure this out. They will not be able to have the opportunities that they want their children have so I have some good news and bad news. I’m going to give you some insight that will help break this down a little bit. The bad news is that this stuff takes time. It takes patience. It takes persistence constant for assistance over and over and over and it’s going to feel like you’re not even getting anywhere but do not give up. Okay what you do matters what you say matters what you work with your child on matters. Do not give up. You’re going to get frustrated. You’re going to feel a shame that you’re not a good enough parent. I hear this a lot. I’m you might be hard on yourself, but just don’t stop just keep moving forward and you’ll see small breakthroughs. You’re not looking for giant epiphanies. You’re not looking for major change if there is a Magic Bullet it be sold out there for a million bucks. There is no magic bullet this stuff takes time. It takes time. It takes time. It takes patient patient patient. It takes persistence. It is the baby steps that matter it is the micro winds that matter. It is the small tiny little things that you can help your child succeed with it is helping them feel a sense of success. Your child probably feels really beaten down there. Probably not feeling engaged and they feel like their efforts are not paying off and putting all this effort into why even try this really big mindset in these these habits that are not working for them. So yeah, it takes time. I also wanted That this is skill building and so often when we’re talking about output. We are looking at are they getting the things done that need to be done? And are they getting done to the high in a koala and often if your child is here and you’re wanting them to be where they’re really getting all their homework done their double-checking everything. Everything’s right. It would take so many hours that they wouldn’t have any time for free time. So their attitude is why even try I’m not going to try to do out, but I want to avoid it. I want to procrastinate I’m not motivated to do this. So reversing that is really hard and part of the sheets that is really thinking that you are building executive function skills rather than where we get to as parents often is we get into the urgency game and the urgency game is a game where there’s something to do tomorrow. There’s something due next week. The teacher just said this was in complete. The teacher said it need to be redone there needs to be Corrections then and so we urgently trying to Swim upstream and play catch-up and help our child catch up and make sure that they stay ahead of the curve which doesn’t happen often with these kids. So they get behind him and there’s all this urgency round getting everything done. Okay, and what you you do want to get stuff done, but you want to get it done. Well enough OK and you don’t want to worry about perfection in perfect output and you want to worry about skill building building executive function skills. You want to worry about how do I help my child? Learn the skill of taking a baby step of pushing a little bit beyond their comfort zone if we push him too far beyond their comfort zone we lose them. So there’s this fine balance between this gray area between sort of you want to push them pass their comfort zone but not past the threshold you put some passes. I sure will you lose them. If you don’t push him past the comfort zone than theirs learned helplessness. So there’s this small gray Zone that you want to play in in terms of pushing them moving them for Getting them to develop the skill of grit and then there are other skills the skill of managing a backpack the skill of using a planner the skill of being honest and forthcoming the skill of self-advocacy sew-in but we’re still worried about how put oh my God. This is missing. Oh my God, this is and there’s all of this urgency going on that we sort of lose focus on we are trying to build these skills. We may have to let go of the outcome of how good the output is may have to be okay with Seasons. He’s in terms of the long game. The long game is the marathon. It’s not the Sprint. It’s the marathon we want to help them develop the skills to it to be able to go for their goals and dreams is an out because if they do not figure out how to execute They will not be able to execute one that matters to them when they are older and when they do want to watch a great future and they do have things that that they value and have goals that they can achieve because they can’t excuse so we need to build these girls. So like I said what you do matters and there’s also the whole emotional component that the resistance the procrastination the motivation that’s an emotional experience that and their body they’re feeling they’re feeling an emotion resistance is emotional. So you have to work with that as well. So anyhow, I’m going to leave you with this what you do matters parents it processed. Don’t stop keep moving forward and what works I’ve been doing this a long time. Trust me on this, please what works is baby steps microsteps small wins small successes. How do you eat an elephant one bite at a time a journey of a thousand? Miles begins with one step measuring your child next to the door frame if their growth in fractions of millimeters. Okay, you don’t even see it. But it matters and account. That is what you want to focus on small successes with the skills. Also the mind that’s also the habits but your building skills get out of the urgency game. You do need to play it sometimes I mean, it’s the reality of the of the most of the schools but don’t get stuck in that game and don’t lose sight of that. There is the other game and their the skill building game. All right. Good luck to you. Have a great.