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4 B2S Executive Function tips

Please CLICK above to share. This vlog gives parents 4 concrete tips to help you help your child start the school year right.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

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Video transcript:

Hey parents, what’s up? If your student is about to start the school year this the beginning of the school year and you want them to have a strong start and they struggle with executive function. I’ve got four tips for you today. My name is the plural executive function coach at Boulder Colorado. I have struggling students navigate this thing called education parents. I got four tips for you today to start the school year off right for back to school time in terms of how to help your student your child. I have a great school year or at least to get started with that tip number one, if your student struggles with executive function, what you want to do is help your child. I hit the ground running to tip number one is help your child. Hit the ground running. How do you do that? Well, what you don’t do is you don’t wait until after the first hey to start getting ready for the school year you get ready before as much as possible. What is that look like number one setup what I call the sacred studies face. If you’re not familiar with my work sign up for my blog check out the sacred study space stuff that I have a bite. Want to help your child start the school year were they helped design? They have ownership in Vienna in terms of Designing their own sacred study space if your child tends to study on the couch on the floor in bed, which is the number one worst place to study and stuff like that help them really design a place where they can do two things one remove distractions in to maximize it for productivity and focus. So that is a secret study space. So you want to hit the ground running when you want to have a secret study space to you want the planner front-loaded you want a front load everything in the beginning of the school year that you possibly can but in terms of the plan of what I do is I block out all the Highlight out all the days that the kids have off for the entire school year we do that at the beginning of the year put things into the planner like their extracurricular activities like big if you’re going to travel this fall for Thanksgiving or the holidays things like that. It’s so you want a front load the calendar you’re going to hit the ground running when your child can walk into school on day one. And they’re planner or their calendar or their gender. Are there online calendar? Whatever the they’re using that it already has the important things in that planner so that when they can go in on day one, they open it out. They can already see some things that are in there. They’re already familiar with that. They’ve already worked in their planner. So hit the ground running also means having their folders really the clearly labeled with her name in the course really big clear labels color coded. There are no books are labeled. I know that sometimes teachers are going to give your kid a list. Hey for my class. I want you to get that the not going to get that till the first day. But when I say hit the ground running you won’t have everything you can possibly have in place have a secret study space ready to rock and roll have the organizational system with the folders in the backpack ready to rock and roll have everything label the compass and protractor their backpack and everything with their name on it in case they lose it that it comes back to them have all the things done. So day one. Do you want them to walk into their classes with with some some sense of what’s going on son sense of organization some sense that their planner they’ve already been using it though. They’ve already been exposed to it. You do not want them to just go for the backpack full of random supplies that come from the the list that the school told you to buy and they’re just not right there. Just haphazardly walking in and randomly, maybe jotting some stuff in their planner stuff like that. You want them really ready to hit the ground running that is tip number one do whatever you need to do to help him hit the ground running. So when they walk into those classes on day one, they’re actually ready to listen and learn and they actually have thought through some things number 2. Number to tip if your child struggles with executive function is make a weekly plan and post it on a wall somewhere and what that look like is that your again same concept to trotta’s buying and ownership over designing their week. So you don’t. They don’t don’t just go to school and randomly do stuff but you actually make a visual large printed calendar that looks nice. Hopefully that they’ve participated in creating that has their ideal week the ideal week. This isn’t something you change. This is just one if you put up on the wall, what does an ideal week look like so and you want to be as detailed as possible not as detailed as possible you want to be detailed enough so that they can see a general structure for the week. So for example, you might have a 6:30 a.m. Wake up 7 a.m. Go to school and then just say school from whatever time it whatever time and then maybe 4 p.m. Relaxation time 5 p.m. Plan my evening 6 p.m. Dinner 7 to 8:30 homework Focus time whatever if they have extracurriculars plan that in the week Friday nights, probably it’s completely free when they get home. Hopefully then I think that’s what all it said Sunday night should be Sunday night overhaul overhauling other systems updating their planner getting ready for the new Wii closing of the ovary whatever but you want to print a an ideal week that is tip number to print an idea week. If you don’t have to follow that plan all the time, but you want to have the plan so that your child can look at it and it’s concretely see some sense of structure because they struggle with executive function. They’re going to struggle with imagining a youthful structure in there going to be late on everything and really struggling for the whole semester number three Advocate early. So if your child Example struggles with Matt get the math tutor at the beginning of the school year don’t wait until things get bad and math before you get a tutor start off with a month of a tutor invest in that time. And in that money in that tutor to get a strong start rather than waiting until Things Fall Apart Advocate. Also, if your child starts with stuff send a quick email short lesson 2 page bulleted notes. Hey, my kids struggles with these three things in here are three things you can do to help. Thanks so much for being there teacher. I’m going to resend this email to you in two weeks cuz I know you’re busy and still getting to the no kids and then resend that email a couple times they hey, I know you already I just want to make sure you got it and I know you have a lot on your plate. Hopefully you can read through this real quick. And here’s what you need to know about my kids. So Advocate early and number for the number one most important thing in your child’s entire life is that you their relationships and all of our Lives relationships are really what matter so remember that your kids childhood, you know, you got eighteen years to for they move out of house. How many cases in and the time is precious, you know and sometimes we get so caught up in the day-to-day and in schoolwork and homework and all of the all the things remember the relationship most important thing so plan for this fall right now playing with your child weekends, or you know nights when you’re going to just do fun things with them and it like look at the semester right now with your child in tehaleh plan in sometimes when we can really not talk about school. Have fun do some cool things that we enjoy doing together and have quality time at the most important thing so plan that in now call for the entire semester planning. Sometimes when you guys are going to have fun and laugh and connect and build the relationship which is the most important thing. Anyhow get my name is set this up for what., North Dakota to Boulder Colorado if you want click the Bell button, if you wanted to give you reminders anytime I put a new video up at alert you unsubscribe for my blog. Give out free blogs every single week and I’ll see you soon. Take care.

Is your child a “Grey Zone Kid”?

Please *click* above to share. Thanks, Seth Some students are in the “grey” zone and the school won’t provide the needed support because of this. This often happens with 2e or twice-exceptional students. Here’s a perfect example: “Hi Seth, I heard about you on the Tilt Parenting Podcast. My son is in 6th grade and having so much trouble with organization. He has ADHD and high anxiety and is highly sensitive to boot! But the school will not grant him a 504 because he is “too smart”. But his grades are slipping from a A’s to B’s and C’s because he has many missing and late assignment, etc. Looking forward to perusing your stuff! Thanks in advance!!” Please *click* below to share. Thanks, Seth

Pattern of LYING? What to do about it?

Please CLICK above to share. This vlog is based on this email:

Hello Seth! Thank you for the continued work you are doing. If you are looking for VLOG topics, I’ve got one for you! My only request would be that you start off with your guitar and a little diddy. I am noticing a pattern of lying in students I work with (and other colleagues are experiencing this as well), and even with my step-son (that’s even a more challenging scenario!!). Lying to me says there is a lack of skills somewhere to truly address what is going on. Or perhaps it is lack of self-awareness, fear of a teacher/parent response (anger), or the always lurking RESISTANCE (I have your show notes from that podcast, and refer to them often). I would love to hear your thoughts on how to approach this, and how to identify the skill set that actually needs to be built up. How can we as educators, parents, caregivers hold space for the learning process and change of beliefs in students that needs to take place, while working through our own disappointment at repeated dishonesty? Thank you! — Holly

🎦 YouTube: Visit my official YouTube channel here. Subscribe, like & comment to support my work. 👉 Share: To support me, please *CLICK* at the bottom to share on FB or Pinterest. ✏️ EF101: Here’s my jumpstart course for parents and teachers. 💚 Give: Love my work and want to donate? 🙏 Thanks! — Seth

Video transcript:

If your child tends to lie a lot, I don’t care if they’re in elementary, middle school, high school, college. If they tend to lie a lot right to your face and your teacher or parent and you’re concerned about this and you want to understand some real solutions for this, I got 10 insights about why kids lie, and I got eight ideas about solutions for this. By the way, what’s up, my name is Seth with SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach based out of Boulder, Colorado. I help struggling students navigate this thing called education and I received an email that goes like this: “Hey Seth, thank you for your continued work you’re doing. If you’re looking for vlog topics I’ve got one for you. My only request will be that you start with a guitar diddy.” Oh I forgot that, yes, that’s right, a little guitar diddy. All right. That’s all you get today. “Okay, I’m noticing a pattern of a lying in the students I work with and other colleagues are experiencing this as well, and even with my stepson, and that’s an even more challenging scenario. Lying to me says that there is a lack of skill somewhere to truly address what is going on or perhaps it’s the lack of self-awareness, fear of a teacher/parent response, fear of their anger, or they always lurking resistance. I have your show notes from that podcast, I refer to them often.” and I did a podcast with someone about resistance lot. “I love to hear your thoughts on how to approach this and how to identify the skill set that actually needs to be built up. How can we as educators, parents, caregivers, hold space,” I love that you use the term hold space. It’s such an important term in this discussion. Just knowing that concept is going to help you help the kids who are struggling with this, “How can we as educators, parents, caregivers hold space for the learning process and change of beliefs in students that needs to take place while working for our own disappointment at repeated dishonesty. Thank you, from Holly.“ All right. So awesome, awesome question. So you mention that maybe lying is a lack of skills to navigate. I think that is partially true, but I think that lying has a lot to do with a lack of ability for students to do or children, in general, to do what we are asking them to do. We are asking the right papers, organize homework, organize backpacks, to do their responsibilities or their chores, we’re asking them to do all these things. What’s happened over the years, over the decades, is that we have piled more more more more on these kids plates. Our measures of what successes are is often based on productivity are definitely at a loss in this culture to appear successful. We pile so much, I think that a lot of the lying comes from a lack of the ability to do what we’re asking them to do that’s very stressful. Kids want to do well, they try and a lot of these kids are trying so hard and a lot of it’s not noticed. They feel like nobody sees me. Nobody understands how hard I’m trying and there are other things that are going on with your mention in a minute. So I’ll mention it right now actually, so I talk about Iceberg Theory a lot, and one thing with Iceberg Theory I want to mention with trying is that let’s say with Iceberg Theory, we see the tip of the iceberg. We see the line we see the D’s and F’s, the zeros, the missings, the incomplete, and then not following through. We see these things, you know, and we see what’s on the tip of the iceberg. But what is the cause, what’s underneath the iceberg? What do we need to know to really help this human being? One thing, in terms of effort, that we often don’t see is kids, for example, who struggle with sensory issues, so their senses are heightened, their hearing, everything, it’s very distracting to them. They’re seeing everything, they have sensory processing issues. It’s really hard for them to process everything, filter it properly, so their brain is working differently than other people’s brains. Kids who struggle with sensory things using as an example right now. And you can’t see that visibly, it’s underneath the tip of the iceberg yet, we are expecting the same thing of these kids as all other kids and something we don’t even see but is really impacting their ability to focus, to concentrate, to execute, to do the things that we are asking them to do so they are trying harder than everybody and they’re getting beat down. Before I get into the 10 insights of why these kids lie, I want to talk about this. I used to lie all the time. So I remember when I was in kindergarten the first time that I got caught in a big lie And what happened was, I don’t know why I did this, I think I was looking for a reaction. But I just sharpen my pencil and this kid named Joel was coming to sit down next to me. I remember this like it was yesterday. I take the pencil as you sitting down on the chair. I put it under him, the kid sits on the on the pencil, it pokes him in the butt and he starts crying. I think for me, I think I was looking for reactions. I don’t know what was going through my head, to be honest, but I got sent to the principal’s office. I’m sitting there, Joel’s sitting there, the principal and sitting there, and he goes, “I want you to look me in the white of my eyes.” He says, “Why did you do that?” And I remember sitting there and I’m looking at him dead in the eye and I said, “Well he,” pointing to the kid, “put a thumbtack on my chair,” and the kid is crying, and he says, “I did not!!” That was a bald-faced lie on my end. I look the guy straight in the eye and I said, “Well somebody did,” and I got away with that lie. That was a very powerful experience for me as a kid because what I learned was that I can lie and get away with it. I proceeded to lie anytime I quote, needed to, or thought that I needed to until I was about 20 or 21 years old. And what had happened to me, and I’m being very honest and vulnerable with you, the audience there. But what had happened to me is that I got in trouble a lot and I did stupid things, and I didn’t say I didn’t have anything and I didn’t have good executive function, I didn’t like getting in trouble and this was a way out. This was the solution for me. And what had happened to me is that I lied so much that once I stop lying, I would notice my impulse to lie, even when I didn’t mean to lie, because when I was lying, it had become a habit where I was lying when I didn’t even need to really to. It really became a habit, so I’m going to give you 10 insights on why I think some students might lie. Number 1: The first and most important thing is that lying for most of these kids, most of the time it’s not a moral issue. I want you to think of it this way. Most of the time when a kid lies it is because their nervous system is having a response to what feels threatening. So, you, the adult say something to the child or the student, and they feel threatened by that, so it filters through the story in their mind. So the story is “Oh no, I’m not doing with this adult wants me to do or I didn’t do it right or I made a mistake, or I forgot something or I didn’t do my homework,” or whatever the story is. But in their story, it feels threatening. Now, adults, you have got to understand what I’m talking about as deeply as possible. If you haven’t learned about somatic experiencing, EMDR, brain spotting somatic approaches to therapy. Our body is having the entire experience in our culture. Listen, very carefully parents, in our culture, we are told and taught not to feel our feelings in so many ways. So anyhow, the reason I’m telling you that because you have know that’s what’s going on and what’s a part of what’s triggering the lying is that there is a physical physiological response to feeling threatened. You can say, “hey did you do your chores?” and they’re like, “oh no I didn’t I’m going to get in trouble,” this is a physiological response, there comes lying. Now I’m not saying that that justifies lying, but I’m telling you what some of what’s going on. When we lie, there is something going on where we feel threatened. It’s the nervous system having a response with what is perceived as a threat. Number 2: Resistance. This is classic resistance. Lying is just part of the resistance game. The number one thing students who struggle with executive function struggle with is resistance. Any program that tries to help a child with executive function that does not address resistance is missing the boat, and it will not be effective or it will be minimally effective. It probably will not move the needle, truly. So resistance is number 2. Number 3: Often the lying is precipitated by pressure that we as adults put on kids for a quick response. We ask a question, we expect a response immediately. And for a lot of these kids, it takes a few moments to process their thoughts and even think it through and we pressure them. Number 4: So another reason why students might lie is avoidance. They don’t want to do what they’ve been asked to do or back to the skills, they may not even have the skills to even know where to start so they avoid starting all together. They avoid doing the thing and then they lie about it. Number 5: Is that they feel beaten down. They feel particularly once they get to middle and high school, they’ve had so many experiences where they’ve tried so hard. It just hasn’t gotten them anywhere when they do something wrong, with all of this attention around that, but when they do something right and nobody notices it. So what their experiences is, they can’t win, they’re beaten down, they’re exhausted and they’re sick of it. So they lie. They don’t want to deal with it anymore. Number 6: The next one is an interesting one and that is the thrill. When I was a teenager, I enjoyed getting away with stuff. So some kids enjoy lying like it’s fun. It’s thrilling. I’m not saying that that’s right cuz it’s not but it’s something that some people experience. Number 7: They don’t know what to say. And this has to do with the pressure for the quick response, but they legitimately don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing. When you say “Why did you do that?” They don’t know. Number 8: Not engaging. What we are asking them to do not only might it be difficult for them or super challenging or beyond what they are capable of doing when we looked at all aspects of the thing. So for those of you parents that are like “I know they’re smart. I know they can do it,” it’s not about smart. It’s about all the skills, the executive function skills and the intelligence that are required to do, not just the intelligence. Then we’re like “You’re being lazy, you’re not being motivated just need to motivate yourself. You just need to try harder, just need to put forth your efforts,” Well, they don’t have the skills a lot of time. But anyhow, the number eight was not engaging, and what that means is that we are asking them to do something that is not engaging. For example worksheets, for example, that are boring and that are not engaging, or writing about topics that are not engaging to them, or reading books that are not engaging to them, or doing other types of busywork that’s not engaging for them. Number 9: Very important. They’re lying because there is not secure attachment. I’m not blaming anybody but the child does not feel secure, this is very important, to tell you the truth. For whatever reason, they do not feel secure, which means safe. They do not feel safe to tell you that. They feel threatened if they tell you the truth. And usually that’s because we, the adults, train them to feel unsafe in those situations usually with punishment or condescension or shame. Number 10: And finally number 10, which I mentioned a little bit before is my story is it’s a habit. Sometimes they’re lying for no good reason and they’re like, “Why did I even just lie about that. I wish I didn’t lie about that,” and it has become a habit. So I have eight solution ideas for you when it comes to lying. Number 1 Solution: You have got to have healthy and securely attached relationships with the kids that you were working with. If you want them to be honest with you. One of the ways that I’m able to help the students, one of the most important things that I do, maybe the most important thing that I do when I’m working with these complicated resistant kids who’re struggling or failing, who don’t want help, who don’t want to be there. What I have to do is I have to build a relationship with them where they know, “Seth’s got my back. Seth gets it, Seth gets me. Seth is understanding. He sees me, he hears me. I feel secure that he’s not going to make me feel bad about this, that I am okay with Seth, like he’s got my back.” So my number one solution is you have got to build a relationship. You have got to build healthy securely, look up secure attachment, and start looking up attachment theory, and learn everything you can about that because it is everything in this game. Number 2 Solution: Help them understand what’s going on somatically. As a culture, we do not respect and value the somatic experience that we’re having, we are not connected to our bodies, we’re not aware of what our responses are. We just listen to our thoughts and feelings and think they’re facts and just go with them. And we’re impulsive and we just, you know, that’s how we are in this culture generally. To help a child learn what’s going on somatically, “I noticed your shoulders go up when I asked you that. What’s going on, you okay? I noticed your face crunched. I noticed your face look tight. What’s up? Oh, I know noticed you’re scrunched over,” you know to start to help them understand what’s going on somatically. And that might mean you learning more about somatics as well. Number 3 Solution: How I set it up when I think they might lie to me. So when a student, when I’m suspecting that we’re in a situation where I know that a kid that has lied a lot and I’m about to ask him about something. You know I’m often working with students with their schoolwork. I got a kid. We got some school stuff going on. I figured out that they didn’t tell me the whole truth about something. How I set it up is very important and the way that I set up this conversation is I set it up, I say “Hey, I’m about to ask you something. I want you to be really honest with me. You’re not in trouble. I’m not angry in any way. I am on your side. I’m here with you, but we need to figure this out so that we can move forward. Are you ready for the question?” And then maybe they say yes, or maybe they say no, or whatever but usually they’ll be like, yeah. Okay. It’s about X Y and Z. Okay here I go. So I’m setting it up. I’m allowing them to prepare for the situation. I’m not blind-siding them. I’m not putting pressure on them. I’m giving them a safe space, used to mention holding space, to share what’s going on. I am not disappointed with them. It’s like hey you’re safe, let’s unpack this. How can I help you? I am here to serve you, to help you, to be a service to you, to help you get through this stuff. What’s up? So, and then? Number 4 Solution: Helping them with their awareness of lying. They may not, and probably are not, because a lot of it is very subconscious. It’s a response, it’s a reaction, they’re not thinking it through obviously. So helping develop the awareness of lying in a safe way with no shame. “Hey, dude, what’s up what’s going on? You’re not in trouble, but I want to understand this. How are you?” So helping them and then unpack how it happened and help them develop an awareness, a safe awareness of that. Now not only just being aware of their lying, but the next one summarizes why they’re lying. Number 5 Solution: So helping them uncover that lying usually has to do with a fear of something. A fear of feeling threatened, feeling unsafe. “What are you afraid of? What are we afraid of? What might happen if you told the truth?” That’s the fear. Okay, so helping them develop an awareness of why. Number 6 Solution: Patience. When we are working with these kids, we have to be patient and kind and compassionate with them. We have to be super patient with them. And patient about how long it takes them to respond. And if they respond and they just lied and we know it one hundred percent they just lied to us, patiently hanging in there. Be like, “Woah, I’m not sure that that’s the whole truth. Is there anything else you want to tell me?” And having patient conversation. We’re so boom-boom-boom, pressure pressure pressure, you know. Number 7 Solution: Having heart-to-heart conversations with them. Sometimes we just got to call them on their crap and have a heart-to-heart and be like, “Dude. Can I have a talk with you? I want to be real honest with you, I care about you and I see that you lied about this. I really don’t care about that. But I do care about your future and what’s going on. How can I help you? Why are you doing that? Like help me understand what’s going on?” So heart-to-heart. But a heart-to-heart that is detached, and that is set up. So again, we got to set them up and be like, “Hey, here’s what’s coming. I’m not going to blindside you, you can say whatever you want. I will not judge you, I will not punish you. I need to know.” But also being detached when they say stuff not being like, “Oh, that was really bad. You’re a bad person,” you know, but being detached. “Hey, I can be objective about that. Oh, that’s interesting. I didn’t know this,” or “Okay, tell me more.” We have to be detached or else they’re going to feel number eight. Number 8 Solution: Finally number eight. If we want to help a kid stop lying, when we have these talks, when we’re working with dishonesty, there can’t be shame. We shame so much. “Why did you do that? Why’d you lie to me?” Blah blah blah. But like we have to understand that there’s a reason. We want to uncover the reason. And shaming them is going to do the opposite of what we want to do. What we want to do is help them learn to be more honest. Not perfectly honest because it’s a spectrum and we have to get more and more honest. They’re not going to go from 0 to 100 overnight. But, how do we start building their ability to be more honest. They have to feel safe. They have to feel secure, and if we shame them they are not going to be and it is going to backfire on us and they will just get better at lying to us. Again, my name is Seth with SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach out of Boulder, Colorado. I’m really glad you’re here. If you haven’t subscribed to my site SethPerler.com, I send out a great free gift, a Student Success tool kit for students when you sign up, and I’ll send you my weekly blog updates on Sundays. If you haven’t subscribed on YouTube, subscribe that supports my channel, thumbs up it, leave a comment. What have you learned about lying? Why does it happen? What are the solutions? Have you done it yourself as an adult? Why do you do it? Share that with us. Have you done it as a child, does your child do that? Have you had some great breakthroughs? Leave some feedback in the comments below if you want. Have a fantastic day. I’ll see you next week.

How long will it take for my child to change?

Hi all. This vlog is based on the following email from a mom:

“Hi Seth, I’ve recently found your website and have to say am thrilled to have done so. You totally GET these kids! I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle against my child, the school, even my husband at times but hearing you speak gives me hope and motivation to keep going. I have a question for you (well, many questions actually, but let’s start with this one). How long can I expect to get these systems up and running that you suggest? What I mean is, after going through your videos, etc I would like to implement much of what you suggest but considering that he is going to fight me the entire way on these there’s no way I’m going to be able to get all of these systems up and running at once.

Have a planner that works for him and that he actually uses

Use the “today’s plan” sheets (is it better to use the planner or these or both?)

“Sunday Night Overhaul,” binder replacement system -create a sacred study space…etc. Let’s say we start with the planner.

1) He is NOT going to go to the office store with me or probably not look online to pick one = struggle # 1 (might take days ). IF I can even get him to agree on a monthly planner,

I now need 2) to get him to USE it. He simply won’t write in one right now so that’s going to be an even bigger struggle and need to be set as a long term goal;

…and finally, I will need to help him 3) use it effectively.

If I get any buy-in for use (and that’s a huge IF), I now need to get him to not only write each of the assignments down but also the correct assignments/page numbers/due dates, etc. As you can see just implementing the planner system is going to take a while. So: Any ideas on how long I’m looking at for just this one system? And then, at what point can I introduce another “system,” say the “binder replacement” Finally, how long do you think I’m up and running with all the systems (and by “up and running” I understand that NONE of these will be well-oiled, but rather a continuous work in progress. Thanks for any input. I really appreciate what you are doing for these kids. I wish you were in Chicago!!!”

🎦 YouTube: Visit my official YouTube channel here. Subscribe, like & comment to support my work

👉 Share: To support me, please *CLICK* at the bottom to share on FB or Pinterest.

✏️ EF101: Here’s my jumpstart course for parents and teachers.

💚 Give: Love my work and want to donate?

🙏 Thanks! — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey, what’s up? In this video, we are going to talk about how do you, the parent, get your child started on doing the things that they need to do in terms of dealing with executive function. When your child is resistant when you know that they are somebody who is going to resist all of your attempts at trying to help them do what they need to do. My name is Seth Perler, I’m an executive function coach based out of Boulder, Colorado. I help struggling students navigate this thing called education. I have an email here from a parent named Stacy, and Stacy says a lot of things, she says, “Hi Seth, I recently found your website and I have to say that I’m thrilled to have done so. You totally get these kids. I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle against him (the child). The school, even my husband at times, but hearing you speak gives me hope and motivation. Keep going. I have a question for you. Well, many actually. But we’ll start with this one. So how long can how long can I expect to get these systems up and running that you suggest? What I mean is after going through your videos and etc., I would like to implement much of what you suggest, but considering that my child is going to fight me the entire way. On these there’s no way I’m going to be able to get all these systems up and running at once. One, like having a planner for him that he actually uses. Two, using the today’s plan sheets,…”

Seth: I have a system where I teach kids had a plan for their day.

“…or is it better to use the planner for these, or both? Three, the Sunday night overall for the binder replacement system. Five, to study space, etc. Let’s say we start with a planner. 1) He’s not going to go to the office store with me or probably not look online to pick one, which equals struggle number one, in might take days if I can even get them to agree on a monthly planner. I now need (2) to get him to use it. He simply won’t write in one right now. So that’s going to be an even bigger struggle and needs to be set as a long-term goal. And finally, I will need to help him (3) use it effectively if I get any buy-in for use, and that is a huge ‘if,’ I now need to get him to not only right in each assignment, but also correct assignments, page numbers, due dates, etc. As you can see just implementing a planner system is going to take awhile. So any ideas on how long I’m looking for just this one system, and then at what point can I introduce another system? Finally, how long do you think I’m up and running with all the systems (and by “up and running” I understand that none of these will be well-oiled by the rather a continuous work in progress. Thanks for any input. I really appreciate what you’re doing for these kids. I wish you were here in Chicago!!!”

Seth: Stacey, awesome question/questions. So where to even start with this? First of all, know that when I work, well first of all if you can find a good coach, find a good coach. I have a great video called ‘How To Find An ADHD Coach’ or something like that. But even if you find an awesome super cool college kid who your kid likes, that can be helpful right there. They could be called a tutor but if they can start implementing some of these things for you, because one thing I consistently hear from parents is, “My kid won’t listen to me.” So that’s super normal. If you can get somebody a coach or tutor or somebody that your kid relates to help with that stuff it’s really good.

Two, you need buy-in and ownership. Buy-in and ownership. Buy-in and ownership. And you definitely get this because you know that you’re not getting the buy-in, so you’re asking how do you get buy-in and ownership?

And three, you’re definitely on the right track with this because if you don’t get buy-in and ownership your kids not going to do this stuff, but you got to start somewhere. So you start, it really doesn’t matter with what system you start. I don’t think you should look at it though, in terms of let’s get the planner in place and then this system in place and then this system, that’s not how I do this with students. Usually what I do is I do an overhaul of all the systems as soon as I can, so within a couple of weeks, and then start with all of them. You’re on the right track is what I’m trying to say. One of the things that you say is that none of these will be well oiled but rather a continuous work-in-progress. So what I do is I talked about it in terms of three phases. If I’m going to help a student, and I’m going to start with the student at the beginning of the semester and finish the semester or the school year with them. It is a massive process, and I will see my students three or four times a week, the ones that I work with locally. And that’s pretty optimal. Now, I’m doing things with them like their school work. So my coaching is driven by the things that are going on in school. So it’s not like a linear step-by-step system. It’s really driven more by urgency and what’s present.

So anyway, the way that I say. Okay, we take a kid from here to here in a semester. It’s not well-oiled a well-oiled system, so how do we do that? Here’s the framework that I use. There are three steps. Step number one is foundations. Step number two is implementation. Step number three is maintenance. So here’s how it looks. Step number one, in terms of how I teach this stuff, is we need to start with the foundation. And what do you need a foundation in? Well, you need a foundation in the new systems. Two, start implementing the new systems, so you start building out the new systems. You need a foundation in mindsets. Your child has to have a mindset to deal with the resistance. The resistance is there. Any program that does not deal with the resistance is not going to work. You have to be dealing with this emotional resistance. “I don’t want to, I don’t feel like it, this is stupid, why do I have to do this? I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it later. I promise, I swear, just leave me alone back off. I got this, blah blah.” All these messages from your child that are like, “I don’t feel like doing this,” how do you help them to do these things that they need to do so that they can learn to execute in life and have a good future? How do you get them to deal with their own resistance? Okay, so I said number one is systems, number two is mindset, number three is routines and habits. So anyhow, you need a foundation in these areas first.

So what I do when I start working with the kid is we build a little foundation, that is step number one. Step number two then is implementation. Now that we’ve got the foundation we start implementing how to use these new tools. And then step number three is maintenance and that’s sharpening the sword and that’s getting better at them. So usually what I’m doing is I’m working with a family with steps 1 and 2, foundations and implementation. Once they’ve implemented enough and they’ve got a pretty decent system, then the family doesn’t need a coach. Well, typically that’s where we want to get to is where they don’t need it. Where they’re essentially self-coaching. They’ve got you know, the parents can breathe a sigh of relief and go, “Ahh, ok, my kid has this, it’s not perfect but it’s good enough,” you know. And then the well-oiled machine comes off in months or years later because they keep refining the system. But at least they’ve got these systems and they’re able to implement them. So what you want to do as the parent, in my opinion, what the objective is here is to get the systems, and it takes time. Especially as the parent, you’re trying to coach your own kid. It’s just going to take time and that’s okay. I work with kids for a semester at a time and many of my students I’ve worked with for multiple semesters, some for many years. Some kids I’ve worked with for three to five years. The family wants them to still work with me because we’re still implementing the stuff. So your kids going to be okay as long as you are doing what I call the most important thing of all. Do you know the most important thing of all is? The most important thing in my opinion of all is the relationship. As long as you are a parent who is working on yourself and working to build a healthy and securely attached relationship with your child wear your child feels seen, heard, understood, known by you. Doesn’t have to be perfect as long as you’re working towards a healthy insecure relationship and that’s your primary focus. Your kid is going to be okay. But yes, you have an uphill battle on multiple fronts to get your child there. Don’t give up, but also give yourself credit, like you’re doing awesome. Just keep moving, just do the best that you can do. Keep building the foundations, it doesn’t have to be linear. Keep layering and layering and layering and layering.

I was speaking with someone yesterday and I was talking about how another way of looking at this is that what we’re trying to do is get a child who sort of on a downward spiral to get them going up, even if going up just means like a 5% grade which is barely even visible. Even if it’s just up a little bit. We’re trying to get them on an upward swing rather than down. And it to get that shift to happen takes months. It is very very very very rare that I get a student where we can really get this down in a couple of months. And when I do, it’s the type of student who really doesn’t have major executive function struggles. These are kids who were really motivated to change. They really want tools and are really ready to implement. That’s a very small percentage of the kids that I work with. So for most of them, it takes multiple semesters. This is real life. I mean how hard is it for you, or me, as adults to change our habits. Now imagine we are trying to tell another person how to change their habits. It’s really hard to take the buy-in and ownership. Like I mentioned, it takes having systems, mindsets, habits, and routines, building the foundation, and then implementing the foundation. One of the big mistakes I see with schools or with parents is that they’ll say, “Hey kiddo here is your planner. Use it.” and then using a planner is a massive skill. It is a massive skill that combines many many many smaller skills to use a planner effectively. Yeah, we hand them this booklet or this agenda or this calendar and say, “use it” and we haven’t taught them directly how to use it.

Now, then we see kids who use them all the time and we wonder why if that kid can do it, why can’t my kid do it? But that kid has been building these skills for many years. We just don’t see it. They’re more systems-minded kids and they’ve picked that they think differently, you know, and it makes it look like that your kids just not trying, but that’s not the case. Your kids all kinds of gifts strengths, talents, gifts, all kinds of great things about your kid, but dealing with how to create systems with a planner or organizing isn’t one of them. So they need direct instruction and a lot of time for the brain to make the connections to learn how to do this massive skill, for example, using the planner. So anyhow, how long are you looking at to implement these, to get these systems going?

To give you a direct answer, Stacey, I would say you’re probably looking at a good semester. If you imagine taking a plant here and you want to propagate a new plant and you take a clipping, you put in water, you know from that point to where you actually have it potted and growing, like it takes a while. So you’re growing roots here and I would say about a semester to give you a direct answer. To get the plant rooted and growing. Okay, not that it’s strong, not that it’s got strong roots. Not that it’s, as you use the term well-oiled, but just to get it going. And then the next semester so we have the upcoming school year. So maybe the first semester you really work on that with your kid, get as much buy-in and ownership as possible and be content with very slow growth. There’s the 3 to 1 rule I talk about. Every single positive thing your kid does even if it is such a small step, it’s barely perceptible, you want to compliment them, notice it, see it. Like “Wow, you actually brought your planner home, you didn’t write in it, but you brought it and I’m really proud of you for that.” That’s a step, like noticing that stuff. A lot of time these kids feel like “Nobody ever notices the things I do right. Nobody ever sees me.” They need to be seen a lot. And we see the negative so easily and we’re so quick to say “Where’s this, where’s that? You got an 89? Why didn’t you get a 90?” but you know. They feel often times really beaten down by this. So I would say about a month or about t a semester and then at one point can I introduce another system. I already explained that I would not approach it that way. I would approach trying to start the school year with all systems.

Finally, how long do you think until I’m up and running and hopefully… There’s so many complicated issues. Does your kid have after school activities? Do they have attentensional difficulties, executive function difficulties? Do they have processing issues? And you know, does their homework take take them 5 hours that should take them one hour because of attentional and processing issues? How’s the relationship with the teachers? Are they taking too many classes? Do they have the bandwidth for all this? So there’s a lot of things but I would say be patient in terms of a semester.

Anyhow, I hope you all are doing great. It is summertime here and there, depending on when you’re watching this but I hope you are doing well. And it got my name is Seth Perler and I’m executive function Boulder, Colorado. If you haven’t signed up for my updates, I send out a free course to parents and students to help you guys get started with all this stuff. So that’s at SethPerler.com, go ahead and sign up for that today. Subscribe here on YouTube. Leave me a comment if you want, tell me what you think. Alright. Take care.

Debbie Reber from the TILT podcast shares her wisdom

Please CLICK above to share. Today I’m excited to have my favorite podcaster, Debbie Reber of the TILT podcast, on a quick video sharing some of the wisdom she’s learned from interviewing countless people who have dedicated their lives to helping differently wired kids. I have a ton of respect for how Debbie contributes to the world of education. If you’re not subscribed to her updates, you can sign up here on her site. She is one of the very few that I follow consistently because she simply does a phenomenal job creating massively valuable episodes. Thanks for all you do for families Debbie! Our conversation was cut short from technical issues, but Debbie and I decided it turned out perfectly! ps – I’ve been to the World Domination Summit many times and it’s a big part of my journey into developing my life’s work helping kids who struggle with EF.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

That’s cool. Hey, what’s up everybody to come and Debbie Reber from TilT podcast here. He could play Hello louder. We’re here in Portland, Oregon. We are both at the world domination Summit, which is a fantastic Conference of creative. injectors Austin Peay and we fortunately get the meat for the first time ever cuz we’ve known each other online and we’ve done a lot of podcast from stuff together and it’s awesome to meet that be so I had a question for Debbie that I wanted to post where the block today and that we had the opportunity to interview. So many people about differently wired kid, and I think it’s really amazing when somebody gets to have so much experience in Sword of exploring 1 questions on my my question to Debbie is what is one of the most important things you could ever tell parents or differently wired kids to help them help their kids for their kids. What do they need to know? What have you learned from all these people? Oh my gosh, you can totally overwhelming question cuz I thought I had I thought I had an answer now. Okay. So here’s what I would say through the conversations. I have at least something that sticks with me and it always comes back to respecting who that child is respecting their timeline respecting them as them being exactly who they’re supposed to be in this world respecting them as an autonomous being and that article is to guide them and help them become their bed though. It’s not to have them behave better. It’s not too. I mean that would be great but it’s not about controlling their Journey or having this look the way we wanted to look at about respecting who they are accepting who they are and I think but that Pete that word respect is the thing for me that is been a guiding principle and and all the people that I interview, you know, whatever the tips are. It really does. Come down to two that work and I think it’s such an important value and it can really shift everything in our relationship for their child when we approach the relationship through that lens.

My #1 biggest advice to students

Please **CLICK** above to share. Thanks! Seth Here’s my #1 biggest advice for students. Please **CLICK** below to share. Thanks! Seth

Tinnitus, Ear Buds & Students

If you like this, please click above to SHARE. Thanks, Seth This one is for students. I have tinnitus. In other words, my ears ring 24/7 and it’s annoying. I wish I had taken better care of my ears when I was younger, so I made this video to tell my story and hopefully help you make more intentional choices about your ears. If you like this, please click below to SHARE. Thanks, Seth

[podcast] Dr. Robyn Silverman

Please **CLICK** above to share. Thanks! Seth

Dr. Robyn Silverman had me on her podcast last week, and we had a great talk called “How to Help Kids Who Struggle with Executive Function Skills in School and in Life with Seth Perler.” Here’s some of what we covered:

What is executive function?
Why executive function is not something we are helping ALL kids to master
How do we know executive function is an issue?
What are the common mistakes key adults make in the lives of kids who have trouble with executive functioning?
What can the key adult—the parent, teacher or coach- say to this child to help him understand that this story he’s been telling himself is not true?
What can we do to help kids who are struggling with executive function?
What are some strategies that help kids get from point A to point B?
What are some key ways that we can help kids understand themselves and their brains?

Check it out on Dr. Robyn’s website here (you can listen right from her site) Or check it out on itunes here

About Dr. Robyn

Dr. Robyn believes that young people are assets to be developed, not deficits to be managed. With that ideology in mind, she spends much of her time speaking, writing and podcasting about the best ways that parents, educators and mentors can help children and teens thrive. Battling bullying? Dealing with divorce? Need to have a conversation about responsibility, respect, focus or confidence? Dr. Robyn takes you from beginning to end so that you feel ready and your children feel understood.

With all the work that Dr. Robyn does, challenges are met with practical and accessible tips, scripts, stories and steps to make even the toughest conversations and parenting situations easier. As a mother and a Child & Teen Development Specialist, Dr. Robyn gets it. She is your one-stop-parenting-shop delivering exactly what you need, when you need it, from someone you trust.

Learn more on Dr. Robyn’s homepage here, where you can sign up for her updates too. Please **CLICK** below to share. Thanks! Seth

“Well if I do it for you I’ll have to do it for everyone”

Please CLICK above to share. Sometimes adults say things to kids that are NOT true, and that causes students to feel worse. We need to remember WHY we are doing what we are doing. We are trying to serve kids, to help them on their path. And each child is different, do they all have different needs. Humans are not “standardized” and the more we work to meet the unique needs of individual kids, the more we empower them to shine.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

Hello parents and teachers. What’s up with Seth is Seth Perler., and executive function coach at Boulder, Colorado. And I help struggling students never get this thing called education. And today I’m going to go on a little bit of a rant. I’m going to tell you a little bit of a quick story about something that happened to me last week. And don’t worry. I will relate this back to kids and helping students for you and make this relevant. So let me give you the background of the story here. And basically what happened is I went in last week to grab a cup of coffee and the one of the guys that work there said, you know, if you bring in if you bring in your cop we give you a refill for a buck or something like that. I’m like, oh, okay cool. So the next day I brought in the exact same cup I went and I I was going to fill the cup up and I was telling the the person they’re hey, I got this cop. I’m going to get my refill. Can I pay you now? I only I only had like a buck 50 in my pocket or something is supposed to be dollar. So I knew I’d be able to cover the coffee plus the tax and she said well, who did you get that today? I said no. I got it yesterday. She said why you had to have gotten it today. I’d like oh, well, I was told yesterday that I could do this. He didn’t say that I had to bring him back the same day. I went home. I washed it and here’s my cup from yesterday still the same thing. Basically. She said no, it has to be the same day. I’m like, okay. Well, I have like about 50. Can you let it slide today? And she said no, it has to be the same day. Whatever. so anyhow She one of the things that she said that I hear a lot with kids is this and it really irritated me. She said if I did it for you, I’d have to do it for everyone. Now parents and teachers. We human beings live with stories. We live with narratives. We have a story in our had about a thing. And in this case her story was if I did it for you I’d have to do it for everyone and so often that something that teachers or adults will say to kids if I did it for you. I’d have to do it for everyone know that is not the truth. That is not a true story and if you think it through so in this particular situation, I’m a customer I walk out of there without my coffee frustrated confused about the situation and not wanting to go back. So the effect that it’s producing she is not saying to herself. How can I serve this customer? And when adults do this there often. I think themselves, how can I serve the student? And I think that that’s the question we want to be asking so when the student says can I do this the answer to a child a middle school or high school or if we say something like if I did it for you, I’d have to do it for everybody want you to imagine what it feels like to be that kid and hear that statement. That’s one of the things I think that makes kids cynical when they hear stuff like that there like no you don’t and differentiation is a concept in the education world where we really look at the new needs of students. We really perceive ourselves the Adults the Educators. We really precedes ourselves as being of service to the student not the student being of service to us. Okay. We are serving them. We’re trying to give them as much as we can education help their life. So instead of saying something like know if I did it for you. I’d have to do it for everyone which is again, usually not a true story. It is a story. It is a story that we can perpetuate but it is not true does not say this is a unique human being in front of me with different needs than everybody else in the class. I want to support every student and their own uniqueness their own unique needs help them with their own talents and develop their own gift develop their interests and their passions and their strength instead of standardizing everybody and keeping them in the middle of the bell curve. You know and so much of what we do sometimes feels like we’re trying to keep them in the bell curve. Keep you in the Box do what you’re told do what you’re asked follow the directions do everything Total Wine and get all your ducks in a row. You know, what are we doing here? What are we doing here? We’re trying to help these kids develop their best selves so they can have a fantastic life and said that they contribute can contribute to the world. So statements like these just think sometimes adults are just not thinking thinking things through and that’s cool and all except when it affects a kid and it is and it makes them resent school or resent learning or resent the teacher or make them less willing and more resistant. So anyhow, that’s my little rant today. It’s really adults us questioning what we’re saying and the story behind what we’re saying and why we’re saying it. What’s the point? What are we really trying to do here? So with that I hope you are doing well. I hope as school ends. You’re you’re moving into a fantastic summer and that your kid is having a successful school year and that you all are doing well. Take care now.

read. (for students)

Please CLICK above to share. We live in a distracted world, and reading is becoming a lost art. But it’s crazy powerful. Seriously students, READ. Books change lives. Don’t leave the gift under the tree. Fall in love with reading again.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey, what’s up, students middle school high school college students. Whatever students you are loved. My name is Seth. What’s up for a live. Common ridiculous function coach based out of Boulder, Colorado, and I have a message for you today. And that is read and I know I know I know I know I know you’re like whatever. I don’t like the reader whatever. Look here’s the thing. I work with a lot of students actually who still like to read in the lot. We don’t I work with a lot of students who used to like to read but just don’t do it anymore don’t have time for it anymore and there and there to the you know, they’re too busy with other stop and here’s what I want a student’s look. Read read read read read read. Reading is just one of the keys to the kingdom. It’s one of the things you want the most important things in your life that can help you learn anything. You want to learn there’s a lot of benefits to it. There’s a lot of benefits for the Mind slows you down as quiet as peaceful as it takes you to another world. And what are the what inspired this is I was thinking about one of the books that I read when I was I was about 11 years old and I read The Hobbit and I had read novels before that and I had read at least one sort of life-changing broke before that. But that was just a game-changer for me. It is literally shift in my whole life. It just change the way I perceive the world in and books are magic books are magic books are magic. Like we dive into a bunch read the classics. There is wisdom of the ages in the classics. Read the classics read three to four to five to six chapters. If you hate it throw it away and get another one, you know, and it’s read that classic and if you had to throw it away again, another one like just dive into book and I really don’t care if it’s fiction non-fiction, but check out some of these these book sets that have stood the test of time stand the test of time for a reason three Universal characteristics and qualities and experiences that human beings have across-the-board all human beings have these sort of experiences and we have to figure out how to navigate this thing called life and I just want to encourage you read read read grab bucks taken by the bad pick him up. Look at him try him out. If you don’t like him grab another one, but try to dive into it. And if you’re far away from when you have read in a long time get a couple of books that you think you might like and just try to get started again. Now when you read one of the hardest things nowadays because we would live in a very distracted. You are growing up in a very different world than I grew up with in terms of distraction when I had to wait in a waiting room when I was a child or teenager when I had to when I was on an airplane when you know, they’re all these times. What I had to do was either Daydream talk to another human being or read like those were the options so cuz we didn’t have cell phones and laptops and all the stuff and you live in a very distracted world and while there’s a lot of benefit to technology. It really really can get away from some of the magic and we want everything fast everything fast on the device and reading is slow, but it’s so powerful so good to slow down. I just want to encourage you read read read read read read. Just try just do it. Not for anybody, but you and do it until you On love it. If it do it until you say oh wow. This book is a life-changer for me. This is a game-changer this help me see the world in new ways that we see human beings. Anyways, that’s how I see myself. Anyways, like a keep reading until you fall in love with it and that day that you fall in love with it. You’ll want to read more. So keep reading until you want to be free. I just really want to encourage you because we live in a time when we’re just kind of getting away with it. I just want to encourage you it’s just magical. I want you to experience that magic. I know this might sound cheesy, but it’s not this is real life. It is one of the most valuable things I’ve ever experienced in my life is his reading great books. Have a great day. I’ll see you soon. I hope thumbs up at like it share it to describe. What have you? See you soon? Hey, what’s up, students middle school high school college students. Whatever students you are loved. My name is Seth. What’s up for a live. Common ridiculous function coach based out of Boulder, Colorado, and I have a message for you today. And that is read and I know I know I know I know I know you’re like whatever. I don’t like the reader whatever. Look here’s the thing. I work with a lot of students actually who still like to read in the lot. We don’t I work with a lot of students who used to like to read but just don’t do it anymore don’t have time for it anymore and there and there to the you know, they’re too busy with other stop and here’s what I want a student’s look. Read read read read read read. Reading is just one of the keys to the kingdom. It’s one of the things you want the most important things in your life that can help you learn anything. You want to learn there’s a lot of benefits to it. There’s a lot of benefits for the Mind slows you down as quiet as peaceful as it takes you to another world. And what are the what inspired this is I was thinking about one of the books that I read when I was I was about 11 years old and I read The Hobbit and I had read novels before that and I had read at least one sort of life-changing broke before that. But that was just a game-changer for me. It is literally shift in my whole life. It just change the way I perceive the world in and books are magic books are magic books are magic. Like we dive into a bunch read the classics. There is wisdom of the ages in the classics. Read the classics read three to four to five to six chapters. If you hate it throw it away and get another one, you know, and it’s read that classic and if you had to throw it away again, another one like just dive into book and I really don’t care if it’s fiction non-fiction, but check out some of these these book sets that have stood the test of time stand the test of time for a reason three Universal characteristics and qualities and experiences that human beings have across-the-board all human beings have these sort of experiences and we have to figure out how to navigate this thing called life and I just want to encourage you read read read grab bucks taken by the bad pick him up. Look at him try him out. If you don’t like him grab another one, but try to dive into it. And if you’re far away from when you have read in a long time get a couple of books that you think you might like and just try to get started again. Now when you read one of the hardest things nowadays because we would live in a very distracted. You are growing up in a very different world than I grew up with in terms of distraction when I had to wait in a waiting room when I was a child or teenager when I had to when I was on an airplane when you know, they’re all these times. What I had to do was either Daydream talk to another human being or read like those were the options so cuz we didn’t have cell phones and laptops and all the stuff and you live in a very distracted world and while there’s a lot of benefit to technology. It really really can get away from some of the magic and we want everything fast everything fast on the device and reading is slow, but it’s so powerful so good to slow down. I just want to encourage you read read read read read read. Just try just do it. Not for anybody, but you and do it until you On love it. If it do it until you say oh wow. This book is a life-changer for me. This is a game-changer this help me see the world in new ways that we see human beings. Anyways, that’s how I see myself. Anyways, like a keep reading until you fall in love with it and that day that you fall in love with it. You’ll want to read more. So keep reading until you want to be free. I just really want to encourage you because we live in a time when we’re just kind of getting away with it. I just want to encourage you it’s just magical. I want you to experience that magic. I know this might sound cheesy, but it’s not this is real life. It is one of the most valuable things I’ve ever experienced in my life is his reading great books. Have a great day. I’ll see you soon. I hope thumbs up at like it share it to describe. What have you? See you soon?