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• My kid won’t listen to me ”WHY don’t you trust me? I’ve got it. Get off my back.
• Wants to be treated like an adult but doesn’t act like it
• You parents have a hard job of deciphering when to back off and when to set a boundary
• The brain is developing, not good future thinking yet but is starting to push off the walls of the pool, wants independence
• Try secure attachment, hearing, seeing, understanding
• Not fixing, rationalizing, preaching
• Notice body language, mirror what you feel
• Trust your gut
• Find mentors
• Play, QT

BONUS VIDEO:

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Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

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Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

My kid wants to be treated like an adult what’s up parents and teachers. I often will hear parents say something like a MC12 going on twenty-five or they want to be treated like an adult. Here’s what the issue looks like. They say my kid wants to be treated like an adult they want to be given privileges. Like it’s all privileges. They want to be trusted but they’re not acting like it. They’re not doing the things that would make them want me to be able to give them the Privileges that they’re asking me for and then parents can often feel like they are enabling like they are doing too much for their child and they can get worried that if they do too much that their child to have learned helplessness, meaning that the child will grow up not having learned resilience Not Having learned to problem-solve on their own and your house drives with executive function. This is a very legitimate issue in concerned half. What’s up, everybody parents and teachers. My name is Seth. Pro. Com right there. Nope right there. I’m an executive function coach bits. I was struggling students navigate this thing called school so that they can have a great life because kids who struggle with executive function are literally at risk of not being able to achieve their goals and dreams in life. Because they can text you. They can’t get the things done that need to get done because they procrastinate they’re not organized. They don’t manage time while they don’t use calendars. They’re resistant yeti on it. So in this case, we have a situation where I hear a lot of parents saying that their kid wants to be treated like an adult your child wants to be treated like a doll and adult particularly adolescent want to be treated like an adult because when they start getting into that cleaner age when they start becoming an adult everything in them everything in their biology is designed so that they can leave the nest so that they can go start to have their own independent life. But here we are in this day and age and life is very different. It’s very complicated and what these kids need in order to be able to launch a successful future is very different than it was a hundred years ago 500 years ago thousand years ago. It’s a very different world in these kids need to have these in executive function skills in order to do this. So I wanted to talk a little bit about this and that and help you feel like you’re not crazy. And one of the ways I want to help you do that is I often hear parents say that their kids they they will say to me that they my kids won’t listen to me parents will tell me that they will say something. My kids won’t listen to me. They’ll listen to you the listen to other people that will not listen to me. Well, that’s that’s true. That that’s very very good very common thing that you have to contend with and you can feel like you’re the only one that you are not alone. That’s a very common so I wanted to mention not here at the outset. And here is what your kid is going to say to your kid wants their way. They want to feel independent. They want to feel like a grown up but they do not have the executive function skills, obviously or they be paying their own rent. They be paying their own bills preparing their own meals doing their own laundry. They’re not doing stuff like that, but they will say stuff like this to you. Why don’t you trust me? I got this get off my back. Leave me alone. And the reason they’re saying that is they’re trying to push you away and you are concerned. So at that moment when they’re pushing you away that I think is this is the moment when you have to decide I’m going to respond to this. What’s the best way to respond? How can I respond to this in a way where I’m not enabling them? And I’m not doing everything for them. I’m not shaming them. I’m connecting with them as best. I can at least for my part of it. I’m helping them know that I’m there for them. And I’m also setting a boundary. That’s a really tough question for parents. So you guys have a hard job deciphering. When do you back off? And when do you set the boundary? The brain is developing. These kids don’t have what’s called future thinking. So the Adolescent brain is not very good at Future thinking they’re not very good at connecting the dots between the consequences of action or inaction. So when they’re not doing homework over and over and over the night that it seeing it thinking through the consequences. They just think it’ll work itself out and then it doesn’t So then after that future thinking that’s not going to happen to bring something to change tomorrow. So don’t expect that parents. It’s the brain is still developing. Your kid is supposed to start to get more independent their job and your job is to start to let go gradual release of responsibility. Let out the reins a little bit but in the Safeway and their job when I wish I knew to credit this if you’re watching this on YouTube, please comment in the comment if you know who to credit this too, but I heard fantastic metaphor that it’s like a kid is in a swimming pool and you are the container you are the pool and they’re in the water in the swimming and they come to you at the edge for safety that comes to connect with you. Hey, what’s up, Mom? Hey, what’s up, Dad? How you doing? And then next thing, you know, they’re kicking off of you and that’s when you know things seem to be going well with your kid next thing, you know, they’re yelling at you or cussing you or being disrespectful or whatever. They’re pushing away from you and they’re going out and they want to go out and explore the middle of the pool. But they’re not ready to just tread water for a long time and really be on their own. So then they come back to the edge and they connect with you. Everything seems fine. Everything’s okay and they can get really emotional. They can get really nasty. They can get angry and they kick off of you and they push you away again. So they’re coming back and forth and will parents often do they take it personally and then it can feel very hurtful to go through this but it really is not about you even though it feels like it’s about you but just knowing that can help you parents to regulate your emotions and be like, wow, that’s enough you all good. I’m going to talk about that with him when were regulated again in deal with that positively. So any how they want to be treated like an adult part of that long process of them learning to become an adult which they’re not yet is the pushing off and coming back to you for safety pushing out, but they want to know that they have that safe place and use the parent of the most important thing is a relationship that the use the parent want to develop a healthy and secure attachment with your child. So when you are when they want to be treated like an adult, but they’re not and in your trying to communicate with them off and parents will try to rationalize or use logic or use reason to explain to them something what why they’re not, you know acting like an adult and that’s not going to work really well either. So what I want to suggest you is that what might work better for you is that instead of trying to rationalize without a reason with them and convince them and Lodge at them and show them how it is and help them understand and see the light, you know why they’re not ready for this level of Independence that they’re asking for and whatever the given situation is. What it has to do with cell phones are curfew or this or that try. I really focusing on attachment theory. If you don’t know about attachment Theory it’s on my blog. It’s all over the place look up attachment Theory but you want to be creating healthy and secure attachment not anxious or avoidant insecure attachment. I know I said that bass don’t worry if you don’t know all about that, but essentially what you want to be thinking is this in order to have serious build a more more more more secure attachment to your child. Will you have a fantastic relationship which is the most important thing ever regardless of Grey’s regardless of if they get a new College regardless of jobs and getting fired and blah blah regardless of any Turn on Sarah’s circumstances. Your relationship is the most important thing as far as I’m concerned. So secure attachment means that you’re building a better and better relationship with a child. where you the parent? Are creating a dynamic with your child where they feel heard? Where they feel seen by you really feel like you understand them where they feel like you’d get them where they feel like, you’ve got. You’ve got their back down ideal situation a secure attachment goes both ways. You both feel this way. You know, you feel like your kid gets you has your back understand you sees you here is who tries to really listen to tries to understand where you’re coming from course, they are at the child. They are designed to push your boundaries and push your buttons in and see where the boundaries are and test them in and they want boundaries will never admit it, but they do want clear boundaries and then wonder why the batteries there also, Doesn’t mean they’re going to like it. But anyhow you at these times when they want their independence and you want at logic them really get away from trying to convince them of anything and try to say what do you mean where you at with that? I want to understand you. Why why you do you want you know that privilege or that freedom or whatever. I really want to understand. Oh you’re mad at me cuz I won’t give you that. I really want to understand you. I want to see you. I want to hear you. I’m listening. I really am listening. I’m not going to change my boundary on this. Well, maybe if you convince me, but I’m not just I’m not going to be manipulated and I’m not going to do it if I really don’t agree, but I will hear you. I want to hear you. I want to understand you. I want feel connected to I want to feel close to you. I want, you know, let’s work on this. so really don’t worry so much about them understanding you worried about you understand them and them feeling understood your goal. Is not to change a boundary or anything like that your goal in these sorts of conversations is that when they walk away from you when they walk away from this conversation, even if they’re angry? They at least feel seen they feel heard they feel understood. They feel like you got their back. They may not be happy about it. But they’re like my parents won’t let me do this or so mean to be rude, but I know they got my back. I know that they’re going to follow through the boundaries. I know the Rogers AR firm. I know that you know when things get difficult they’re going to be there for me and now I can talk to them about this stuff. That’s how you want them to feel like they know they can talk to they can come to you may not get what they want. But they know that they’re not going to be judged then I can meet Shane. They’re going to be hurt. Now that’s a long journey. We have a lot a lot a lot of a lot of dysfunction in her family’s that’s been going on for Generations. It saddens us go way. We work on this stuff for years that so, you know don’t don’t feel like that that’s going to happen tomorrow, but that’s what we’re working towards. We’re not trying to fix them or change them or logic them or preach at them or rash like we’re trying to build the connection in the relationship. They attachment the security. I also want to empower you parents in this little chat when your kid wants to be treated like an adult they are going to push you. They’re going to push your button, but I want to encourage you trust your gut your God knows if you know, it’s not a good idea. Don’t let them push that battery. So I want to empower you to do that. Next thing. I want to say. It’s fine mentors, you know, when they want to be treated like an adult, you know, and they won’t have these conversations with you try to get other people who are a good example in their try to get maybe great relatives or older students are people that are really a good example for to be mentors for them. Next thing I want to mention is don’t forget about having quality time with your kid where you’re not talking about all the stuff. They want to be treated like an adult. I was going to happen. But remember this doesn’t have to be big long series heavy conversations all the time. When you’re done remember to play remember to have levity remember to have fun with your kid remember to build in that quality time? So yes, you’re going to have a heavy conversation let them move on and be played. Lee pfund be the parent that you want to be that you imagine yourself being the best paint, you know, don’t forget your quality time with your kid and building that in. And the last thing I’m going to mention is when you are trying to connect with them just on the Coco regulation or toonman. What happens is our nervous systems are talking to each other and what I want you to do when you’re having these conversations and they’re trying to explain it to you and yours are too really trying to attach and understand them in a good way when you know the body language. This is called mirroring or tuning or co-regulation. But I want you to notice what’s going on. And then I want you to reflect that back to them every once in awhile be like wow. I noticed that your fists clenched up. What are you thinking? What what’s going on in your mind? What what are you feeling right now while I noticed your face just scratched up bro. I noticed you look angry. Wow, I noticed you that your breathing into you know, that that’s an anxious breathing. Where is belly breathing is more calm. Wow, I noticed you look sad about it. Now. I noticed you just raise your voice at me instead of don’t raise your voice at me. Like wow. I know she just raise your voice at me like get into the mirroring learn more about that and responding in those sorts of ways where your Co regulating with them. You’re noticing what’s going on. They’re nervous system course, you’re listening to their story and I’m trying to hear it. But you’re also noticing they’re having a physical experience what’s going on with that and you’re developing nose. Skills as a parent to really be able to read them better like that. All right. That was a long one. I hope you all are doing good at my name is let’s see if I can do it right now. I subscribe. If you want give it a thumbs up if you like it share with people if you like it leave a comment on YouTube. What do you do when your kid wants to be treated like an adult and something doesn’t feel right. How do you respond to that? What works with doesn’t work for you? Leave a note in the comments if you want. I hope you have a fantastic day haven’t subscribed on subfloor. Com at send out a weekly Sunday update and the freebies good stuff. That’s what my life is dedicated to so parents teachers. I will see you soon take  

Please CLICK above to share “Hi Seth, I heard you on the Tilt Parenting podcast and love everything you have to say. My son is 2e, but is only in third grade, so I think he’s still too young to benefit from your coaching. I was wondering if your blog has ever addressed what to do if a parent also suffers from executive functioning issues. Going through my son’s journey with him made me realize that I also have ADHD (inattentive type) and a lot of executive functioning issues. I’m really struggling with being able to help my son get organized because I am not organized. I end up feeling terrible about myself because I feel like I’m failing my son. If you have covered this on your blog, could you send me a link? If you haven’t, is this a topic you would consider addressing? Thanks for all that you do.” – Jill

• Younger 2e, think “plant seeds” plan, overhauls, SNO (Sunday Night Overhauls), organizing, build ownership, failsafe Son is 2e, but is only in third grade, so I think he’s still too young to benefit from your coaching.
• What to do if a parent also suffers from executive functioning issues. Same UNDERLYING PRINCIPLES, if I coached you I’d help you create planning skills/strategies personalized (frankenstudy), chunking, declutter stuff (digital and physical), online & mind (ER, deep inner work), consider meds, food, sleep, …
• Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree “Going through my son’s journey with him made me realize that I also have ADHD (inattentive type) and a lot of executive functioning issues. I’m really struggling with being able to help my son get organized because I am not organized. I end up feeling terrible about myself because I feel like I’m failing my son.” You GET to MODEL.

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To support my work, please CLICK below to share and please click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth

Please CLICK above to share. This vlog is based on this email from a parent: “I have watched so many of your videos. I am really looking forward to the next ones. My entire family watches your videos and they have helped tremendously. Perhaps you will address why some kids are born with amazing EF while others, equally as intelligent, have poor EF. My husband has poor EF and surely at his age, his brain is fully developed. Is there really hope for my child or his he genetically predisposed to have poor EF throughout his life. (Of course, the tools you teach really do help). (FYI, no diagnosis for anyone in the family). Thanks so much for your videos. I am passing along your website to everyone I can think of.” This brings up the nature vs. nurture argument for me, and this video explores this in-depth and HOW to help.

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Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

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Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Okay parents. What’s up in this video? I am going to talk to you about executive function. Is it nature or nurture nature or nurture nature vs. Nurture nature and nurture. Let’s explore this question people. Here we go. I have an email from Mommy and it says I’ve watched so many of your videos. Thank you so much. I’m really looking forward to next on the main Tire family watches your videos and they have helped tremendously. Perhaps you will address why some kids are born with amazing executive function While others equally as intelligent have for executive function. My husband has poor executive functioning surely at his age. His brain is fully developed. Is there really hope for my child or is he genetically predisposed to have for executive function throughout his life? Of course the tools you teach really do help FYI. No diagnosis of anyone the family. Thanks so much for your videos passing on your website that when I can think of thank you so much. I really appreciate you sharing my work. I put my heart and soul into this. Well, that is an amazing question. I have a horrible answer for you. I don’t know. Don’t worry. I’m not going to leave you with that. Are you know are some people just born with less a bad executive function for lack of a better word. We were born with good executive function. Some people xq really? Well some people don’t I don’t know. I don’t know. Why and I guess here I’m going to I’m going to unpack this for you. Don’t worry. I’m going to give you a valuable insights on this topic, but here’s the first thing that comes to mind when I think about this question doesn’t matter. That’s what I really want to know. So whenever I’m working with a family whenever I’m working with the kid is struggling with the stuff. I don’t care. My brain is very good at filtering out anything that doesn’t matter. So I’m hyper focused on what matters what is going to be able to be helpful to this kid in my brain would instantly go to that question and be like Walt doesn’t matter. And he retired look at that if I had a common cold does it matter where I got it from if I got it from a person to the post office if I got it from a person to a restaurant if I got it from a person at my house. Where did I get the common cold? It doesn’t matter. I have a cold. What can I do about it? That’s really important. However, there are times when it does matter if I find out that I have a common cold and I know where I got it from that I can use that information to help me in the future to not go to that place or be in the circumstances where I got those germs or whatever, you know, so that there are there are at times when it matters but generally speaking when I’m working with a student I’m telling you this because this when I’m filtering when I’m sitting with the family in my office and we’re getting to know the kid and I’m not asking how did this happen? Because that information doesn’t really help me out that much. now having said that the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree except when it does so that brings on another aspect of this issue often times. I if I were to give you a more direct answer often times, I do believe and I’m not a scientist tonight and I’ve read plenty of stuff on this but I doesn’t really matter to me again. But often times I do believe that it’s genetic meaning that it is at 1 parents or another has poor executive function. Now, I’m going to see what I see her my practice. I often see a couple where both parents have exceptional executive function. Those are the parents that are truly baffled then like we just don’t get this kid. Why can’t they just do XYZ? Sometimes I get families where both parents are both executive function and they get it or they don’t get a table in to compensate for it and they don’t understand why they can’t compensate yet. Or I get a mixture where one parent has exceptional executive function in one parent doesn’t but the Apple off and doesn’t fall far far from the tree. I do find that a lot of times when I’m talking with families families will say yeah. My child is more like me than my spouse or what-have-you. So is it it it our kids predisposed? Sure probably does that information? Help me help the kid. Probably not one of them raised from will help me help you get so let’s say nature-versus-nurture. I forgot I don’t think is nature vs nurture. I don’t think of nature or nurture. I think it’s nature and nurture. Let’s say the nature aspect of it that the kid that you have a parent who struggles with executive function in stock with executive function their whole life their brains fully develop. Their brain is not going to get any better executive function. That is probably pretty likely. However, something you said and it was very important could that parent whose brain is fully developed? It says, of course the tools you teach really do help could that parent have better tools? Yes. So let’s say that the brain of the brain is plastic, but let’s just assume that the brain of a grown adult that’s just say their executive function is pretty much the way it’s going to be could they ask you better? Yes, they can execute better with better skills with better tools with better strategies with better approaches with better systems with better mindset switch to something that can be changed with better habits with better routines. So that’s what we want to focus on there. Now, let’s look at nurture so that they nature. Yeah. It’s let’s say that nature they have, you know, relatively good eggs and affection or not good executive function. Let’s say that by Nature we have that now we’re going to look at the nurture in the nurture is the things we can do something about which is what I just mentioned. So I’m going to back up a little bit in my program the way that I teach executive function the way I coach executive function. I look at three things three things that we want to work on systems mindsets habits and routines systems mindset habits and routines I lumped together. When I’m working with a student, I’m not evaluating. Where’s your brain at? You know, what? What how is your executive function in your brain? I know that the brain is developing. I know that at user to lose it that as we use our brain for certain activities are brain get better at doing those activities. So I know that as we Implement to some scientist habits and routines we can help the brain develop better that the brain will adapt a but I can’t measure neurons. I can measure what connections are made but what I can see is evidence. 6/8 weeks timeline. I’ve been working with the kid me the parents teachers were able to say wow. This kid is come a long way. This kid is able to do X Y and Z much better now. Did the brain develop at that point probably as we’ve been implementing these systems mindsets happens reviews of brain probably did develop. so nurture the first things we look at when we look at the nurture in my opinion. When we look at external factors that impact executive function in this case. The first thing we are like I said, what have those three things but the first thing I’m really going to look at is the the basics sleep nutrition exercise. If somebody is struggling with executive function and they are not sleeping. Well, or they are eating food that make you foggy or they are not exercising. Those things are going to impact executive function negatively if the kid gets restful sleep. Food that is truly nourishing the body exercise plenty of movement in the body and the body is functioning with those two things with nutrition exercise. Then egg executive function will be impacted positively. So we absolutely want to look at them in my opinion. Look at nurture in terms of sleep nutrition exercised. Those are external factors. We can impact that have an impact on Executive function and we want our kids to be able to utilize the executive function that they have particularly if they struggle with executive function. We want to quote optimize their ability to tap into the exact function that they do have. Now I talked about sleep nutrition exercise as something that’s a nurture so to speak but another thing that’s nurturer is emotional regulation anxiety depression traumas things that impact the nervous system. The more our nervous system is in an aggravated State the less we are going to be able to tap into our executive function because when the nervous system when we are in fight flight or freeze when we are anxious when we are depressed when their event ROM is that have got us on edge whether or not we are aware of it. When those things happen in the nervous system is trying to protect the human body that the person win that is happening and the nervous system is popping in and out of fight or flight or whatever. What’s happening. Is this the the prefrontal cortex the part of the brain that helps us with execution blood is being taken away from that and going to parts of the body that are going to have a fight flight or freeze. They’re going to help protect that are going to help you stay safe. So when we are in a safe a safe and social State and our nervous system is regulated, we’re able to get the most out of architecture function as well. I mentioned the nervous system. I mentioned sleep nutrition exercise. So those are for nature nurture type are those are for nurture tie things more external type things things that we can have an impact on for example, if somebody has experienced trauma, we can work with therapist. We can work with the nervous system. We can help that person to have more emotional regulation which role in the NSS enhance executive function or Empower us to at least use our executive function more optimally. So I think I will want really want to address what this question is from from the parent is asking this there wasn’t in there kid. They’re saying my kiddo struggling with executive function just like my spouse does. Is there any hope absolutely there’s a we want to do it. We can we want to dress asleep the nutrition the exercise and the nervous system first and the first or second but we want to dress as Basics. A lot of people don’t want to do that because those things are hard but it is absolutely worth never giving up on those things and always trying to grow with those things don’t give up on that. Next we’re going to work with what Seth works more with which is the system of mindsets habits and routines. So somebody struggles with executive function. We want to give them tools. We want to give them systems ways. They have to learn how to plan. I know your kid doesn’t want to plan. I know you could think they don’t need a planner they resisted. I know they don’t want to get organized. I know but they need systems of organization systems for where to focus. They need to be able to remove distractions. I need to be able to have it for themselves. They need to be able to plan they need systems. They need mine sets. The mindset is usually do this. Leave me alone. Get off my back. I can’t too hard not worth my time. But we want to learn practice different kind of those mindsets have been practiced. Those can change. We want to change Morgan abundance mindset more of an I can do this might that more about all right. I don’t necessarily feel like this, but I know I can accomplish it. I know I can figure out how to do it. I know I can get help if I need to we want to have my infant’s and then we need habits and routines habits of sleep habits of exercise habit habits of good food habits of of studying in a place where we can actually Focus that doesn’t have to straction habits of asking for help routines of bedtime routines wake-up routine. We want to work on always optimizing those things. So the answer to question it is nature and nurture the nature at particular with young people. The brain is so plastic love the more we use great systems mindset habits routines, the more we address traumas and nervous system dysregulation, the more we address sleep nutrition and exercise the more we will optimize our ability to tap into our executive function. Yes, the brain will get better. There are the brain will learn in the brain will use executive function more powerful ways, I believe and those things those external things that we can do something about we should do something about because what you’re really asking me what you’re really asking me is is my kid going to be able to figure out how to execute so that they can have a good quality of life. Yes. Regardless of whether it’s nature-nurture if we have interventions logical rational reasonable good interventions that help the child. They will be able to develop the executive function skills or the executive function the nature in the nurture, they will be able to develop better executive functions so that they can Realize their potential achieve their dreams go for their goals. Have a good future have a good Financial. I have a good relationship have a good crew have a fantastic life, which is what you’re really asking me is my kid going to be able to take action in ownership in life so that they can have a great life. Yes. I never stopped. What’s up, bro. Come right there. Sign up subscribe like this if you want. I don’t really care. If you like it. You’re going to like it. If you don’t you’re not going to but if you like this sure my stuff. I really appreciate it and put my heart and soul into this. I hope you have a fantastic day. I will see you soon.

Please CLICK above to share. Here is a story about a spouse that “doesn’t believe in ADHD.” It is sad when a child falls through the cracks because an adult isn’t willing to learn about what’s going on. People are sometimes afraid and stuck and can’t or won’t be honest with themselves. Sometimes we can’t deal with being uncomfortable. If problems with attention, focus, and concentration continue, the compounding negative impact is no joke. These kids must learn the SKILLS of focus in order to achieve ANYTHING they want to achieve in life. Not learning these skills limits life choices. This video explores some solutions.

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Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth

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Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Parents, I heard another story about one parent who doesn’t believe in ADHD and the other parent does. And this is a pretty tragic situation, and I’m not even being dramatic. By the way, what’s up. My name is Seth with SethPerler.com, I’m an executive function coach from Colorado and I help struggling students navigate this thing called education so they can have a great life. I have heard this story so many times where one parent believes in autism or Aspergers or dyslexia or ADHD and one person doesn’t. The other parent thinks, “oh the kid just needs to try harder, they need to work harder, they need to apply themselves more,” and it’s such bullshit. It’s really disturbing to me because it’s no joke because we’re talking about a kid’s life. Yes, there’s a place for skepticism. Sure, question it. Research it. But RESEARCH it, because if we don’t address the kids needs and we end up not addressing needs that limit their future and limit their potential and limit their ability because our ego is too sensitive and delicate, that we can’t be challenged, and we’re just going to stick to what we think, and this kid is continuing to suffer, is really, really, disturbing to me to see. I do what I do in terms of my career, in terms of serving kids, because I believe that human beings should have a good crack at having a great life. And I believe in education, and I believe that education’s job is to empower people to have the tools that they need to have a great life. If you can’t execute, that’s a problem. So, when I see an adult who’s this resistant it’s deeply disturbing to me because I have seen what happens when kids grow up, not only to myself but to other kids that I’ve worked with that have grown up not believing in themselves, that struggle with mental health issues, who struggle with self-confidence, who struggle with career, who struggle with relationships, who struggle with finances, who struggle, struggle, struggle. Had they’d been given what they needed we could’ve alleviated or bypassed a lot of their struggles. It is just not okay. If I seem a bit more emotional today about this topic than usually is because this just pisses me off. Anyhow, it’s really sad when kids fall through the cracks is because they don’t have to. Now, to be compassionate to the person that’s being challenged, you have a husband and wife in this case, but I’ve also heard this where people say that their parents (the grandparents) don’t believe in ADHD or don’t believe in whatever ‘it’ is, it’s just a matter that the kid needs to work harder, try harder, they need to care more. They need to be more rigorous, more disciplined, they need to just motivate themselves. It’s so frustrating. “If I did it, why can’t they?!” It’s just ignorant. Ignorance is fine, skepticism is fine, but when you’re an adult it is time to say, “Woah, the kid is struggling. The kid is suffering. What do we need to learn, what do we need to do to help the kid?” Don’t put the blinders on. The question isn’t, is ADHD fake? The question is, what skills does this child need to develop in order to launch a happy, healthy, and successful future. The question is, what skills does this kid need. Okay, so forget the diagnosis. Fine, so you don’t believe in it, who cares. Let’s go back to the question. What does this kid need? What skills do they need in order to be able to accomplish goals, to accomplish meaningful tasks that are going to help them have a good future? We also have, with ADHD in particular, but with other things too, we have the question of medication, which is outside the scope of this video. But, the placebo effect has been well documented and well studied. Whether a medication is used or not, the placebo effect is so important, but the placebo effect of also believing in someone. Believing the wrong story is not a good placebo. But the placebo, “I believe in you, we can do this, we can figure this out, let’s do this,” is very powerful. Anyhow, I wanted to mention that. I have a few other things that I want to mention. The parent does not buy-in to that ADHD is real, or whatever the case is, does that parent at least have the relational skills in your relationship to have a real meaningful dialogue about your child. If your spouse does not have those relational skills then the services or help or support that your child is going to get is just dependent on you. At that point, you either accept it or you don’t accept and you change it, but if they don’t have those relational skills, that happens, unfortunately. So you have to say, what are we going to do in that case if they don’t have the relational skills, they don’t want to have that real dialogue about the kid, then it’s really up to you. What can YOU do? So what can you do, regardless or not if they buy-in to it? Number one, I’d say continue advocating with your spouse, partner, or whoever the person is that doesn’t believe in the thing, continue advocating for that child, trying to get their support and understanding because their support matters and it helps. Any support the child can get is going to help. These kids need healthy, securely attached relationships. I talk about that all the time. Relationships are everything for the kid to feel heard, seen, understood, and known, to have healthy people in their life is such an empowering thing for them. It’s probably the biggest game-changer. So continue advocating. Number two, learn everything you can about ADHD or executive function, or co-morbidities, which you can look up on your own. Continue learning everything you can. Three, there are six pillars to helping kids. So one, like I said before, continue advocating, two, learn everything you can about the issue is, but three, use these six pillars. Kids who struggle with executive function need (1) systems, (2) mindsets, (3) habits and routines, (4) emotional regulation skills, (5) they need reflection. Reflection and introspections. (6) And they need the relationship with you. If your kid is going to learn the executive function skills so that they can have a great life, they’re going to need to learn systems. My website is filled with that, but they need to learn systems of executive function, of how to plan, how to organize, yadda yadda. They need mindsets, mindsets of, “I can do this, I can figure this out. Yes, I’m resistant, yes, I don’t feel like it, I procrastinate, yes, I don’t feel motivated, BUT, I have the mindset to do it. I can do this. I can figure this out, I can accomplish this.” So mindsets. Next, they need the habits and routines. Good study habits, good relationship habits, etcetera etcetera. Next, they need systems for emotional regulation skills. Emotional regulation, working with their nervous system, healthy attachment, all these sorts of things. Next, they need skills of reflection, introspection, self-awareness, mindfulness. They need to build reflection so that they can learn from their mistakes so that they can grow. Next, they need healthy and securely attached relationships, they need YOU. They need your support. So with that, I hope that was helpful. I do not envy you if you’re in that situation. But, continue advocating, learn everything you can, and then do your best to use the six pillars. My name is Seth Perler, if you haven’t already subscribed please do. Please share with somebody, it means a lot to me and leave a comment on the video. What do you do when people think that what’s going on with your kid is fake? Or that they just need to try harder, or care more, or just choose to be more proactive? How do you deal with that? What advice do you have for us? Take care. Please CLICK below to share.

Please CLICK above to share. Parents, this one is for students, but you should watch it too. Here I discuss 20 tips for FAILING this semester. Of course, the intention is to be wildly successful, but this video is a fun exploration of real issues, and it WILL help. You can read all of the tips in detail from the transcript below.

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Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth

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Video transcript:

Hey what’s going on, I’m Seth from SethPerler.com. I’m an executive function coach based in Colorado and I help struggling students navigate this thing called education so that they can have an awesome life. And in this video, I’m going to give you 20 quick tips for how to fail this semester. These are based on my own experiences because I failed quite a bit. This video is for students. Middle, high school, college students who want to fail this semester. Here is how I did it. Number 1. Tell your parents you turned over a new leaf. You’ll say this to your parents when they ask, “What’s going on this semester, you going to be okay? If you need help let me know.” Blah blah blah. You’re going to be like, “Nope. I’m good. I got it. I’ve turned over a new leaf so leave me alone. I’ve got it figured out. I’m motivated. I’m organized. I’ve got it.“ Number 2. Don’t let your parents help you. And don’t let your teachers help you. Instead, say, “I’ve got this leave me alone. Get off my back. I don’t need help. I promise.” I swear don’t let them help you. So that’s number two. Don’t let them help you. Just say you’ll figure it out on your own. Number 3. Don’t use a planner. Instead, try to keep everything in your head. Try to use little sticky notes or make little notes everywhere. Try to somehow maintain it from your memory. You’re going to remember, try to believe that story. That is number three. Number 4. Don’t be proactive. Instead, I want you to wait until the last minute before you do something. Or you can just pretend it doesn’t even exist. Pretend that the homework, or the assignment, or the test, or whatever, is not even there at all. Number 5. Don’t check your online portal. Don’t keep tabs on your grades. Ignore them. Don’t ask your teachers what your grades are very often. Just kind of forget about it put in the background. That’s a really good way to help yourself fail this semester. Number 6. Don’t advocate for yourself. It’s very hard to ask for help, so don’t do it. Don’t go to your teachers, don’t go to their office hours. Don’t see your teachers before class, after class, before school, after school, or during lunch help. Don’t advocate for yourself and say that you might need some help, guidance, reminders, or anything like that. Number 7. Don’t take responsibility for yourself. Instead, use plenty of excuses. Blame it on everything. You only try every once in a while. When you’re not taking responsibility for yourself, you should try to use the self-pity model. Say, “Oh poor me.” This is what I did, it works really well. Number 8. Don’t think about your future. Don’t connect the dots that the actions or things you don’t do now will impact your future. Just pretend that your future is going to build itself. Or you might win the lottery. Number 9. Don’t do quality homework. Instead, just do the bare minimum. Number 10. Don’t organize yourself. Just start off with whatever system you had before. Cram everything in the backpack. Or you can make it look organized so that people get off your back, but don’t actually organize your stuff. Number 11. Don’t study. Instead, do things like using Quizlet. It seems like you’re studying but really does basically nothing for you. Don’t study, don’t actually focus on studying or taking time to study. You’ll probably just remember enough of it without studying. Number 12. Don’t take care of yourself. In other words, don’t get restful sleep. Don’t eat food that nourishes your body. Don’t get plenty of exercise. Don’t brush your teeth. Don’t shower regularly. Don’t do the things that you need to do to take care of yourself. That’s a real good way to make your executive function foggier. Number 13. Don’t declutter your life. Instead, bring more clutter into your inbox, into your mind, into your home, into your bedroom. Don’t take the time to get rid of clutter you don’t need. Number 14. Don’t be honest with yourself. Instead, lie to yourself. Tell yourself stories that aren’t true. Distract yourself from the truth. Number 15. Don’t deal with your inbox. Instead, allow your inbox to be there to collect email. Don’t respond to people when they email it to you. If you do respond to people when they emailed you, it, when they email you make sure that your response is very short and unprofessional and almost borderline rude. Really basic, simple, don’t capitalize. None of that stuff. Number 16. Don’t resist distractions. Instead of focusing on what you need to focus on, be focused on what your distractions are and procrastinate on the things that are important. Number 17. Don’t take your time to produce quality work instead of taking your time and really diving deep into your work. I’m being patient and really seeing where the magic is instead. What I want you to do is rush through it to get it done as quickly as possible. Number 18. Don’t have a good place to focus and study that is free of distractions. Instead, study in bed. That’s the worst possible place to study. So you want to definitely take advantage of doing your homework in bed, on the couch, on the floor, wherever, and have a bunch of tabs open and have your cell phone. Don’t have a sacred place to focus. Number 19. Don’t change your mind. Stay stuck in your mindset. Keep the same mindset that everything will fix itself, that you can ignore everything. Be lazy and fail. I stay in that mindset because it helps me procrastinate and stay stuck. Number 20. Don’t invest in developing your strength, your interests, your passions in the things that matter that gets in the way. Get way off course and spend your time instead of investing in things that have no impact on your future. Things that are time-wasters things that just, you know, like watching TV, YouTube, gaming, or just social stuff only. So these are the things that I did. I failed out of college. I dropped out of a second college before bailing out. I was not a successful student and I used those things. This is true. And if you follow this advice, you will fail the semester you will be retaking classes. You will limit the choices that you haven’t in your future and you will struggle as an adult to be successful, how to be happy, to be healthy, and the truth is that I did change my life. I did turn it around and it was the hardest thing I ever did. And if you were someone who struggles with this stuff, it’s going to be the hardest thing you ever do. It’s okay. It will help you grow. We need you to develop the best version of yourself, your strength, and your passions. The world needs youth. And I’m not just saying if you have something amazing and special and perfect that we need you to have skills and talents and gifts that we need in this world. We need you. It’s hard if you struggle with executive function like I do. It’s very legitimate your brain works differently. You have amazing strengths with certain things that you do. It’s very easy for you. For example for me, it’s creativity. It’s very easy for me to do creative things, to come up with new ideas. There many strengths that I have, but there are certain things that are hard for me, like trying to focus and use executive function. But you’ve got this. You can do this. If I can do this, anybody can do this. The challenges that you’re going through, at least the way that I look at it, challenges that I went through as a young person, the challenges that I go through today are gifts. They are gifts. They helped me to become a better person, to become stronger, to learn what I’m good at. To learn what I’m not good at, and to find ways to have other people do those things while I can focus on what I’m good at so that I can bring good to the world. Do your best and then do a little bit better. There’s a quote by a guy named Jim Rohn Germans. “You have the possibility of becoming. You cannot believe what it does to the human spirit to maximize your human potential and stretch yourself for the limit.” And when he says you can’t believe what does the spirit, it brings your life to maximizer human potential. We need you. The final note that I have for you on the video today is to never ever give up. Never ever give up. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it can feel like you’re climbing a mountain, but don’t give up because you will get there. You’ll be able to accomplish your hopes and dreams and you will be able to contribute. You’ll be able to have a great future never give up. So once I did those 20 things and I switched it, and I did the opposite of those 20 things and I started to take my future seriously, and I understood that I had gifts to give to the world that I wasn’t a worthless human being, I really had something and I understood. Even though it’s hard, I can change my life. When I started looking at these challenges as a gift and when I decided to never ever give up and to do my best. Do a little bit better and things started really changing my life. It started completely taking a massive turn around and I have a good life today. So I wish that for you, so have a fantastic day have a fantastic New Year have a fantastic semester. Never ever give up. I will see you soon.

Please CLICK above to share. Parents beware, THIS is important! You know how I talk about the DIP pattern? Well, the final phase of it is PARENTAL AMNESIA and it’s a problem many people aren’t even aware of. This problem happens right AFTER the semester ends, and parents make some common mistakes that I dissect here. I’ll tell you EXACTLY what to do to help your child during this amnesia time. Click HERE for the accompanying free PDF checklist to help you with the process. Click here to see my online student success program, UGYG Click here to see the special MOMENTUM GROUP version of my UGYG program

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Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth

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Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Who you see that that’s a real life snowball. It is for Real winter break are what’s up? Everybody in my name is stuff. What’s up? Bro. Come it is winter here in Colorado winter break here for the students. They are gone, but I am here at the office making you a video and this video parents today is about a big problem that happens over winter break going to tell you exactly what parents do and don’t do over winter break that they should do what you can do. I’m going to give you seven specific tips. I’m going to give you a printable PDF an amazing piece of paper. You can print wow. So here’s the problem. This is actually really important parents. So it’s winter break right now and I talked about the dip pattern the pattern is where if you have a student struggles with executive function, I don’t care. They’re in 5th grade are there in college you have a kid who struggles with executive function? Here’s what happens with the dip pattern. They start off the semester seems to be going. Well, then things start to dip six to eight weeks very predictable into a typical semester everything falls apart suddenly realized that all the grades of just faded and everything has gotten really bad really fast. So then that dip has happened and then your child spends the rest of this mess. We’re trying to dig themselves out of holes trying to swim upstream trying to deal with the missing link employees late work all this stuff with the dip stuff right then the last 3 weeks of the semester is what I call Hail Mary time. That’s when not only are they dealing with all this makeup work and all the stuff but they also have final exams. They have final project that final papers. They have large reading assignments all four of those long. Term things often get put off to the last minute if they are done it all and then the semester is over now. We are at the point of winter break, which is where we’re at now and parents. This is what I want you to listen to this is what often happens with the families that I work with during winter break. You start winter break. You don’t have the grades yet. The grades come out finally and you see the grades in your kid is gone through the dip in the grades were not what you expected and you’re like what in the world happened? You told me you study for finals. You told me you turn in your final project Bubba Bubba blah. And why do you have three F’s? What happened here and parents are baffled and students really start with executive function really didn’t have the tools to navigate all this really weren’t effectively tracking all of the things or taking the effort needed to do all of the things to really actually study for a final exam to really actually write a well-written essay based on a novel I read or whatever the case may be. So what happens is oftentimes parents will use a few things that don’t work very well or they may work in the moment, but they’re not actual Solutions the proud one of those is the rewards so, you know, a lot of times parents will say okay will high reward them for what they did. Well, you know, if I say, I’ll pay you money phrase or whatever and you know that they’ll try to use rewards but in this case it’s often punishments. And lectures. So in this case, you got a kiddo who just the semester didn’t end well and you set him down you lecture him you talk about it, you know, it’s winter break. You have the big sit down here. You’re disappointed. You’re like what happened? You try to lecture try to rationalize try to convince them try to get some information from them that is going to make you feel like in Spring. It’s going to be different and then the final part of the dip pattern happens that I talk about. What is the final part not Hail Mary? It’s right now during break and it is called parental amnesia. What happens with parental Amnesia is parents forget how bad it was your child is going to tell you know, I got just leave me alone. I swear I’ll do it differently. Everything will be perfect this coming semester. Everything’s going to be different in the parent forgets how bad it was. And parent thinks that it’s going to come out all the stuff and then real significant action is not taken. So I’m going to tell you what to do right now. That’s not going to fix everything not the way I roll not reality but it will help here at 7 things you want to do. So rather than just lecture your kid punish them and hope that things are going to magically change. There are seven things you can do. These are real things parents. This is what I do day in and day out his work with these kids. This will help you if you do this. Never won its break relax and connect with your kid. You got holidays. You got family in town. You’re going out of town to see family. You got connect with the kid. It’s the most important thing the world don’t talk about school the whole break take sometimes to talk about a short, but don’t string it in all over the place. Enjoy your kid. Enjoy your relationship with that. It’s the most important number one thing in the world. So number one is relaxed and connect with your child connect number to print the grade details imprint this PDF that I have included with this video, which we’ll have these seven tips for you know how but being a checklist for for you but print those two things from the PDF for this imprint the great details. So a lot of my students will look at the gray the black all I got is 76.88. I’m like, I don’t care that you got to 76 .8. I want to see the gray details. Why did you get the 76 are there missing other incompletes? Is there late work? What are the patterns of the patterns with tests are the patterns with homework Prince the great detail the details that show why your child got the grades that they got whether or not there is rest. Now, if you know me, you know, I don’t believe in grades as a moral issue, but they do Is that they are a necessary evil so friendly grade so that we can figure out the pattern that are going on number 3 do what I call a pre talk. That means that you’re not going to come out of nowhere and say your kid. Hey, we’re going to talk about school that feels very emotionally unsafe to people what you’re going to do if you’re never free talk. Free tacos like this. Hey, kiddo. What’s up? We need to have a talk this Friday about 4. We’re going to sit down. We’re going to talk about school work and talk for about a half hour to an hour. As long as your forthcoming with me. I am and you’re honest, then we’ll be done. And if not, he may take longer, but you’re not in trouble. I love you. I care about you. And I’m going to do everything I can do to help you and part of that is having this conversation. So we’re going to have a talk on Friday. It’s going to last about this long. We’re going to be sitting here. You’re going to during a free talk Howell them with coming. So that is not out of left field because that again it feels very much man takes to tell him what’s coming. We’re going to talk about how long it’s going to last now. They may want to talk about it right then but don’t do it. Keep your boundaries say no it’s okay. You’re not in trouble. We’re going to talk about it there, but they may have legitimate question cuz they may really feel like they’re in trouble depending on your Dynamic with your child. So obviously you want to help with that but set up a time and actually talk have a real talk. No cell phones on no computers. with no TV on you’re actually communicating face-to-face for Have a talk at the have the heart to heart talk now during this heart-to-heart talk. There are two four six seven things. I want you to talk about during this talk. This is on the PDF. So you don’t have to remember this. Number one. The most important thing is notice what your kid did write last semester when you have this heart-to-heart be like, look, I’m so proud of you. You’re so compassionate. You’re so creative. I noticed when you do this, I noticed when you do that, I noticed how you how you are with people. I noticed your strength. I noticed your interest. I noticed your passions. I noticed your gifts like really focus on what they did right really see them for their effort and where they did try oven time of the kids feel like nobody sees what I’m trying to do. Nobody sees how hard I try? Well, that’s because nobody really does see that make a big deal out of it make as big a deal out of that as you do the other stuff d Asked I asked so I asked this to my students all the time in different forms, but the question is basically this if you could turn back the clock, what would you do differently? So at the beginning of last semester if you could change things if you go back and do things differently, what would you do? It’s a great question. Now, you’re kidding me not tell you because you may not have a relationship where your kid even trust that you’re actually listen to them. So that’s a whole nother issue invite. You want to try to build it with holding space for them. It is so important to reflect so important to reflect so I will often ask kids. What would you do differently? If you could turn back the clock to the beginning of this semester last semester what what might you do differently in it’s amazing what they come up with. Next ask how they might take that action this coming semester. They don’t have to have the right answers parents don’t have to watch it. Then we don’t have to rationalize then you don’t have to figure everything out. You don’t have to have a conversation to the right now. Just get them thinking about it. Okay, how much you apply those actions this coming semester? That’s what you want. No next ask. How can I be helpful? How can I help you? Do that and listen to them now again, depending on your Dynamic of your child. You may not have it said relationship for your child feel safe or comfortable or like they’re even going to be heard by you if they tell you these things but ask the question anyway and hold space for them really try to listen really ask them. How can I be helpful? What would help you and really listen they say will don’t help me and that’s what would help me. Then you can say don’t be offended. Say what do you mean tell me more about that? How do I not help you? How how does that work? When that to me? I want to understand really try to hear what they’re trying to say. Next ask OK look next semester when I’m trying to help you in your resistance to my help and you don’t want it. What should I do or what? Should I say when I see that you really legitimately need help but you don’t want in your life back off. Leave me alone. I got this but you really don’t what do you want me to do and say so that’s an amazing question for parents asked to see what they think and how how you can open the door. I’m really try to hear them. And then as I said before take the printed grade details now you take your printout of your grade details and you say all right. Look here’s the grades from last semester hear the details. Let’s find the patterns. What patterns do you notice always try to get by in an ownership try to get them to say. Oh, yeah. I noticed since in this class. I have this pattern or not turning in homework in this class. I have a pattern of not doing well on papers or nothing protest try to get the buying and ownership from them as much as possible. But discuss patterns and try to discuss Solutions again. You’re not don’t be too dead horse. Don’t try to convince them or logic them. Just have dialogue. How is your goal is more to have a conversation that feels good to both of you rather than to give them to see the light. Next last thing in this conversation in this heart-to-heart asked what would help these pattern that would just found on your printout of your grades. What would help these get 1% better 1% better. I just want a small solution from a kid. I just want them thinking I don’t want them thinking. How do I turn my ass in two days? I want them thinking. How do I turn my D’s into a c minus? I want it very attainable. I want a very not overwhelming that may sound counterproductive to some of you parents especially parents who are very very very detail-oriented highly driven and stuff like that that may not sound right to you. But trust me what you are trying to get his momentum. Okay, you’re not trying to get perfection in a lot of parents who push for that Perfection it backfires on you and then you repeat the same pattern Spencer after semester number for have the heart to heart number five later on in the break you do overhauls. So the break Saint Anselm, what you want to do is you want to overhaul everything with your child. You got it over all their backpack. You got over all their folders. You got to get rid of all the old papers a lot of families don’t do this and I have a kid that comes in here into the office and they have the all the same papers that they had from a semester that’s over just filled in their backpack. Nobody’s taking the time with this kid to go through all this stuff in question. Why are you even keeping this? And do you have the systems in place for next Messer? So later on in the brake not the day that you have the heart to hurt later on in the break before you guys go back we go back January 7th here, which is a Tuesday. So maybe on the Sunday or Monday before you go back. If you live here in this District overhaul the backpack in the folders overhaul the planner make a new desk calendar, which I’ll show you in a second and overall the study space and email the teachers to let me show you the desk calendar. This is one of mine from this is one of mine from last semester that we had. So you want to start a brand new one where you make a big giant fight. These are five bucks for this big desk calendar. The important thing you can do this for your kids are with your cat. I make them bright really clear really easy to see we don’t put everything on it, but they stop like test exam papers projects things like that. Those are really helpful. Anyhow, at the point is over all the systems are all the folder the planners all that stuff email the teacher say hey, what’s up teachers, you know my kiddos in your language arts class and we are looking for clarity and usually in that. I have a bunch of things about the advocacy letters. But basically you’re saying TJ, what’s up? We want to have a successful semester. What do we need to know? That’s essentially super short email. What do we need to know about the semester to support our kit? Thanks for everything. You do. I always dream a real positively. Number 6 after you do these overhauls patiently and persistently take baby steps patiently and persistently help your child take baby steps throughout the semester patiently and persistently help your child take baby steps. Micro success is a journey of a Thousand Miles begins with one step. How do you eat an elephant one bite at a time the way that your child is going to grow and become successful in school. And in life is through millimeters. Microsoft’s baby stuff small steps. Look, maybe you lock out and get an epiphany in a giant change every once in awhile, but that’s not what I’m what working for the kids cuz I was executive function we’re looking for how can we take another small step forward? So that’s number six and then finally, SNL Sunday night over all the semester is now started its January 8th February the most important thing that you can do is a towel pure kid. Do a Sunday what I call Sunday night overall. You can look on my side for once a week. You’re helping them update their systems update their planner update their backpack reorganize their stuff clean off their desk area where they study at home check the portals and stuff like that. So there’s a lot of nuance around that but essentially that’s one of the most important things that you can do that’s actually going to get you some traction. So connected to the number one princess details of the grades and print this PDF that I have right here number 3 do the pre talk. Tell your kid. Hey, we’re going to have a talk number for have the talk number 5 do the overalls number 6 page only persistently take baby steps and get your semester started number 7 do the Sunday night overalls. My name is Seth Berlin executive function coach Bayside Boulder Colorado. If you like this video give the thumbs-up subscribe to you. Whatever you want to do. I put a lot of hard into this I sure would appreciate your support and they’re sharing your subscribing and stuff like that. I do have a group program called you g y g upgrade your grades which starts mid-January this is a group program of my online program. I worked really hard to over all this and make this amazing if you’re interested in joining us. I am literally officially closing the doors tomorrow Monday December 30th at 8 p.m. And then the people who have chosen to be in that group. I’ve got you for the whole semester and I’m going to take care of you and I’m going to help you through this mess for you and your child to have a better semester if you are ready for Change and you’re willing to take action and you don’t think it’s just going to fix itself and you want to do something about it. Feel free to check it out. Check out Eugene. Join us if you want. If not, that’s cool to the things that I’m telling you. Things on my blog will help you but you have to take action. It will not fix itself start taking baby steps today. Remember the relationships the most important things to go. Have fun with your child. Enjoy this break with them be well. I will see you soon. Take care.

**Please CLICK above to share Hi all, here’s a new podcast I did with Wendy Bertagnole on executive function for Exceptional Parenting. In this episode today you’ll learn about EF. If you have a child who struggles with homework, grades, resistance, overwhelm, motivation, procrastination, underachievement, organization, focus, study skills and time management, executive function could be at the core of what they are missing. EF is the root of so many problems that can look like “laziness, defiance, or disorganization.” As we know, behavior is always a sign to look for the deeper root, so if you have a child who struggles in any of these areas, this episode is definitely for you. CLICK HERE to take a listen on her site.   

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To support my work, please CLICK below to share and please click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth