Blog - Seth Perler

How to Find an Executive Function or ADHD Coach

Click here to watch a more recent video on this topic. I often get emails like the following, asking for how to find a coach: I need an Executive Skills Coach for my child who is resistant to any help, but starting to realize that she needs it as she is about to start high school... Any recs would be much appreciated. Keep up the good work. Topics In this in-depth video I go over the following topics: How to help a child who is resistant How to pick the right coach Ways to … [Read more...]

My #1 Study Tip, and It’s Actually Fun

The problem Most of the struggling students I work with come to me with no realistic idea of how to “study”. They simply don’t spend enough time or energy on studying and the quality/type of studying is ineffective. For example, many of these kids think that studying means rereading notes a bunch of times, but this is usually unengaging, inefficient and unproductive. One solution Literally one of the very best ways to learn is to teach what you're trying to master. Since it’s time for … [Read more...]

What to ask your child this Sunday

If your child is struggling to finish the semester, here's a simple and straightforward video for you. It's based on how I am helping my clients right now, so it works. How it works: It doesn't matter if your child in in 5th grade or college, just watch the video, print this and use what feels right. Tell your child that you're going to have a heart to heart about school. Tell them what time you will have it. The point is to give them time to mentally prepare, so maybe something … [Read more...]

High schooler gives up [includes email template to send teachers]

Here's a real email one of my students sent his mom last week: Ok. I have given it everything and i have nothing I can do. My 100% just isn't good enough to pass. It is too late to do anything. There goes that trip. I'm done. There are so many kids with EF challenges who are going through similar overwhelm right now. Of course there are things he can do. Of course it's not too late. But it's important to deeply understand that this is how he feels. He is emotionally overwhelmed. Here's a … [Read more...]

[Podcast] 5 Action Steps to Help your ADHD Child

I was recently interviewed on Jennie Friedman's podcast, See in ADHD. In addition to producing a fantastic podcast, Jennie is an ADHD coach out of Long Island, NY who runs workshops and speaks. In this podcast I go over 5 specific action steps to take regarding how to best help your ADHD child with their school. Listen to the podcast on Jennie's site here. (44 min) There is also a great little bonus episode 243 that we did on decluttering. (6 min) You can also find it on the iTunes link … [Read more...]

[Podcast] 7 Systems Outside-the-box Learners Desperately Need

Background I created this article and PDF - Student Systems Assessment for teachers and parents, to accompany the podcast interview of me by Jennifer Gonzalez. We dove deep into some great tips that will help you help your struggling students. Jennifer’s education podcast is called The Cult of Pedagogy and it’s perfect for any teacher or parent who cares about diving deeper into the issues that face education. Check out her podcast, subscribe and give it a review. You’ll love it. This … [Read more...]

7 Ways to help your child start the NEW YEAR off right in school

For most students, second semester starts back up in the first week of January. Check out the ideas below and use what works for you. Let me know how it goes. Happy 2017, Seth Minimize stuff - I usually recommend to my families that they do a serious downsizing of "stuff" twice a year (winter and summer). Pick a weekend in January and use it to get rid of all of the excess "stuff" you have. For example, you and your child might go through all clothes, keeping only the … [Read more...]

Homework over break!?

Uh-oh! It's already that time of year again, Thanksgiving break is upon us. At this point in the semester, many of the students I work with struggle with a very definite and predictable pattern: Swimming upstream - These kids are in "swimming upstream" mode. They are "behind" and are often getting "extensions" on late work. This is never good and only adds to the overwhelm and confusion regarding where to even begin. Naturally, they avoid making any real traction, full of … [Read more...]

Dad says, “He has continuously asked me for help with concentration”

I received this email today from a friend, the father of a senior in high school: "My son is having a hard time focusing when in class and doing homework. He says he's taking the breaks and even getting up and walking around during class to try and get focused. He has been keeping a list of things to do every day. He's getting good grades and not in any trouble but he has continuously asked me for help with concentration. He is now asking about what doctors do to help ADD. Any suggestions?" I … [Read more...]

12 Big Mistakes Students Make in September

It's early in the school year, the buzz of the first couple weeks has worn off, and habits begin to set in. Some are good, some not so good. The habits a student practices in September set the tone for the rest of the semester (and often the rest of the school year). The Pattern Unfortunately many students follow this pattern: Strong out of the gates, even excited about school, teachers, friends. Positive attitude, desire to do well. Skate. Things go along "fine" for a few weeks, no … [Read more...]

How Students Build Effective Systems (printable pdf)

The students I work with are notoriously "bad" with systems, which has a lot to do with why they struggle so much. Actually that's not exactly true, because when a system matters to the student, or when they've had enough practice with implementation, they can be great with systems. For example, I have one student who is obsessed with the game Magic the Gathering. He has extensive systems to manage how he plays this complex game. Anyhow, the point is, when it comes to systems for managing … [Read more...]

“What do you do if your child’s school wants the parent to stay out of it?”

A parent sent me this... "What do you do if your child's school wants the parent to stay out of it? I find myself trying really hard to stay out of it, and let my child contact the teacher directly. I will help him remember to do so, and help him formulate an email, but I've found push back if I contact the teacher for clarification." This is SO frustrating and I see it all too often. Don't stay out of it! That teacher does not get it. You care about your kid, so do anything you have to in … [Read more...]

PEP – 3 Things you MUST keep an eye on in the final weeks of school

PEP Papers. Exams. Projects. Unfortunately, many students fail classes at the very last minute. And, unfortunately, parents often don't find out until a week or so after summer break begins, when grades go out. Parents are often completely unaware of upcoming (and heavily weighted) Papers, Exams and Projects. Heck, many students are completely unaware (or avoiding the stress of remembering). You need clarity. Period. What can you do? Check grades daily from now until the end of school. … [Read more...]

One BIG Secret to Helping Kids Grow

We often try in vain to "help" our kids by... Lecturing Logic Reason Being rational "Talking some sense into them" But once they feel "threatened", it's not getting through. It's so easy for us, as adults, to see what "needs to be done". We can see so clearly that if they just do x, y and z, that they would make things so much easier on themselves. We just don't understand why they don't take these simple actions and it's infuriating. So what works? Believe it or not, one … [Read more...]

Happy Mother’s Day Quotes

Here's some gratitude for all the mom's out there. I want to send a sincere thanks to you for being an awesome mom, for everything you do behind the scenes, for your time, effort, energy, and love. Here are some of my favorite mom quotes... "They are not kidding when they say that mothers are strong women. We need to be strong in more ways than our children will ever know." — M.B. Antevasin "Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all." … [Read more...]

Parents – A script for what to ask your child to make sure they are on track for the end of the semester

This semester is going to end in the blink of an eye, and the stakes are high. Many kids who struggle with executive function are at risk of failing classes, which sets in motion a string of consequences. So what can you do? Do this sometime today: Do not lecture, argue, yell, or use logic to convince your child to "get it together" when they are in a defensive or otherwise emotional state. It will fall upon deaf ears and cause more frustration and shame. Have a heart to heart "strategy … [Read more...]

Teaching Ain’t Rocket Science (Part 1)

Teaching is an art. But it's an absolutely tremendous and an astonishingly beautiful art. You see, an artist has spent years committed to developing their extraordinary talents and skills. The great teacher is secretly driven by a simple love of community and belief in humanity. She completely pours her heart into the craft. But most people don't notice this nuance, and that's ok. What's not ok is that tragically, the art of teaching has been bastardized, which has the effect of … [Read more...]

How to bring up grades in a crunch

Note: The vid is 17 minutes long, but trust me, it'll save you so much time and energy, it's absolutely worth it. And... it's pretty good! Download and Print PDF here: Daily habit questions cheat sheet By Seth Perler It's the end of the semester again... It's the end of the semester again, and the predictable pattern for many outside-the-box students rears it's ugly head again. It goes like this... Suddenly, someone, usually a parent, notices that grades have plummeted (even though … [Read more...]

“Whatever!”

Parents, sometimes kids use this word with biting tone. But what exactly does "whatever" mean? What is your child really saying? Often, it's something like this: "Look, I don't know exactly how to say this, but honestly, I don't like what you're saying! I actually feel a bit threatened right now. You are threatening me getting something I want, getting my way, and I don't like it. You see, the amygdala in my brain just got a message that there was a threat to my safety, and although … [Read more...]

Biography of a Struggling Student: My Story

This story may be more than you need to know, but I like to be transparent. I hope this is helpful. Messages As you know, I'm Seth, and you probably won't be surprised to learn that I was the struggling student that I work to help nowadays. Yep, I was "that kid." Kindergarten was fine, but here are some rave reviews quoted directly from my 1st-grade report cards: "Slow worker. Very easily distracted. Loves school. Wants to be helpful. Very short attention span and never really gets into his … [Read more...]

3 Reasons I Hate Testing… And A Lil’ Thank You To The Teachers Who Have To Put Up With It

Teachers don't have a choice (or a voice, for that matter) when it comes to standardized tests - they must proctor these tests or there will be serious consequences. But what's wrong with the tests anyhow? Why are more and more and more people opting out? Well, I have countless problems with testing, but this video scratches the surface by looking at 3: The people who are profiting and benefitting (nope, it's not kids) How the testocracy pressures teachers How testing negatively … [Read more...]

PARENTS, Are Apps For Students Really Worth It?

Please CLICK above to share. Parents, I went on a bit of a rant here, but it ends well! Enjoy. Below is the text from the email that inspired this video... I've reached a peak frustration level with my 2e student. I have attended many parent seminars / conferences / talks / meetings (you get the picture) and after attending yet another last night and leaving frustrated, I thought I'd pose a question: If ALL the experts agree that kids should have limited screen time (especially kids … [Read more...]

Students: Are You Going Through “The Dip” Again? [Video]

"The Dip" is a completely predictable pattern for many outside-the-box students. Here's how it goes: The semester starts strong. Organized, optimistic, ready. Classes seem to go well for a couple of weeks. A couple of things go wrong, but no cause for alarm. Maybe you forgot to study for a couple of quizzes, forgot to do some reading, forgot to do a couple of assignments. BAM! 6-8 weeks into the semester, everything suddenly falls a-p-a-r-t. Perhaps teachers just updated a bunch of … [Read more...]

An Excellent Way To Evaluate Curriculum

Content, Process, and Product Parents and teachers, this video breaks down three extremely helpful concepts used to build curriculum - “Content, Process, and Product”. This will give you a useful filter to can use as you contemplate how well the curriculum meets the needs of your child. Content - What we learn Usually the curriculum. Process - How we learn something One model: AVK Auditory Visual Kinesthetic (This is just scratching the surface, there are many more ways … [Read more...]

Frustrations

1/3 - What frustrates your kids most about YOU? 2/3 - What frustrates your kids most about SCHOOL? 3/3 - What frustrates your kids most about THEMSELVES? Last week I asked my students what frustrated them most about: Parents School Themselves The responses were really interesting and I made 3 short videos with some insights for you. Please *click* to SHARE below. Thanks! … [Read more...]

“He’s not motivated by much of anything”

Here is a set of 3 videos based upon the following email I received from a reader: Hello Seth, I have an 11-year old son in 6th grade, a 2E-type boy (in a "GT" program since 3rd grade and also on a 504), who is not motivated by much of anything. When he wants to, he can do great work, but only when he wants. And, it's never clear what motivates this uptick in more attention to his work. Sometimes, it's the subject matter, as he definitely has his passions. He's very much an out-of-the-box … [Read more...]

The “Organizationally Challenged” [Video 2/3]

Please CLICK above to share. Here's part 2/3. In part 1, I mentioned the following: I recently received this email: My youngest (age 11) is challenged by organization. We’re working together to figure out systems and tools that help align her success in this area.” Well, here in part 2 I will break down how and why you need to have labeled "homes" for everything. Enjoy, and please share. The Homes 7-day Challenge: Try this and let me know how it goes: List the categories of … [Read more...]

The “Organizationally Challenged” [Video 3/3, The Overhaul]

Please CLICK above to share. Here's part 3/3. In part 1, I mentioned the following: I recently received this email: My youngest (age 11) is challenged by organization. We’re working together to figure out systems and tools that help align her success in this area. In part 2 I broke down how and why you need to have labeled "homes" for everything. Here, in part 3, I discuss the difference between "maintainers" and "overhaulers" and tell you how to do regular overhauls. Enjoy, and … [Read more...]

The “Organizationally Challenged” [Video 1/3]

Please CLICK above to share. The "Organizationally Challenged," Video 1 of 3 I recently received this email: My youngest (age 11) is challenged by organization. We’re working together to figure out systems and tools that help align her success in this area. Well, all the students I work with are "organizationally challenged." But what can we do about it? Here is the first in a 3 part mini-series about what works. 30-Day Challenge: Try this and let me know how it goes: … [Read more...]

The Email You Should Definitely Send Your Teachers This Week

The end of the semester is always a time to be cautious, because, as far as grades are concerned, it's a make-it-or-break-it time for many right brained students. In my years of working with these students, I've noticed a very predictable pattern throughout the semester: Student starts the semester off strong, they are often excited for the fresh start. A few weeks in, things seem to be going "fine," but you may have a sense that something is off. "The Dip" happens 6-8 weeks into … [Read more...]

Report Cards

We don't really care about your grades. We're more interested in seeing the important things from you: Your kindness and generosity Your effort and persistence Your ability to pursue things that matter How you walk through your own resistance and avoidance How you take healthy risks How you embrace your "failures" and use them for growth Your capacity for things like gratitude, authenticity and integrity Your personal best Life ain't a dress rehearsal - you have many gifts … [Read more...]

What To Do When You “Think” You Have No Homework (Printable PDF)

“Do you have any homework?” “Nope. Did it in school.” “Are you sure?” “Yep, I’m positive! I have nothing to do.” If this sort of conversation leaves you with an uneasy feeling, it probably should! It takes years for most kids to gain a realistic understanding of what it means to be a “student” and your hunch that something's missing is probably valid. There are many skills to master as a student, and no instruction book on the topic. Many kids pick them up naturally, but many … [Read more...]

7 Tips For Dealing With Daylight Savings & Falling Back

We fall backwards an hour on Sunday November 1. Here are some actionable tips that will help smooth the transition. Be proactive with your clock. Reset your clock the night before to set yourself up for success and make sure you are on time for your events. Set your clock ahead. While you're at it, if you're always running late, this will help you to be more on time. I often recommend 5 minutes, but you may want to do more or less depending on your needs. Beware: people are often very … [Read more...]

3 Quick ways to boost grades

First of all, you should know that I don't even believe in letter grades. They are generally an archaic and ineffective way of communicating useful information about our children's education. They are subject to much interpretation, which is often very misleading. We don't even question the validity of letter grades, instead we blindly continue to accept them as a fact of life. Fortunately, more and more schools are getting creative about developing more authentic and qualitative methods … [Read more...]

2 Essential Tools for Planning Your Writing (Video)

Throughout my 12-year teaching career, writing was, by far, my favorite thing to teach. No, I'm not a great writer myself, but that's not as important as you might think. What is important is that I fell in love with writing, that I understand it's immense value and that I have a toolbox for writing that works for me. And those are my goals for all students I work with: Empower students to fall in love with writing Genuinely and deeply value the art of writing Build a reliable … [Read more...]

FICTION WRITING: Elements of Story (Video)

You MUST understand elements of a story, regardless of grade level, if you are going to be writing fiction at all. Basically, there are 5 elements that every story must have, or it's not a story. The elements are: Character Setting Plot Theme Point of view This video breaks it down in plain English. 💚 Give: Love my work and want to donate? 🎦 YouTube: Visit my official YouTube channel here. Please subscribe, like & comment to support my work. 👉 Share: To … [Read more...]

Habits & how to change them

Please CLICK above to share. Honestly, adults often overwhelm students by trying to change too much too soon. Our kids typically know what needs to be changed, they've heard the lectures, they've gotten more than enough good ideas. Knowledge in and of itself is not enough of a motivator. So the problem is often in changing the actual habit! How do we do that exactly? Much of my job as a coach is to empower students to change habits so they can minimize or eliminate habits that are … [Read more...]

How to use the writing process… In plain English! (Video)

ALL students must learn to write, but this skill is a biggie. There are many common struggles with writing: Not knowing how or where to start Not knowing what to write about Ideas going all over the place Lack of clear ideas etc.. One of the biggest reasons students have ANY of these problems with writing is simply because they don't have a clear understanding of the writing process. This process is something all students should know back and forth, something that should be … [Read more...]

How students can avoid “Guru Syndrome”

Please CLICK above to share. We all want answers, and we want them now! So it's tempting to take advice from an expert, authority or professional when it sounds good. These "gurus" can be very convincing and their advice may work well for many people. But our kids are often very complex and they often need outside-the-box answers. This video sheds some light on this issue. Gurus come in many forms: teachers, administrators, therapists, tutoring centers, educational products, books, … [Read more...]

How School Culture Can Be Optimized

Please CLICK above to share. School culture is a funny thing that we don't talk about enough. It's powerful and the better we build it, the better we educate our kids. But don't put too much stock in school ratings to evaluate the success of school culture. These ratings are immensely misleading and are based on data rather than "feel" a school vibe or tone. Literally stand in a school and just feel how happy the staff and kids. This will tell you everything you need to know. What are the … [Read more...]

How to have the right mindset for school

Please CLICK above to share. Here is a video about having the right mindset for school. I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please share. In it I explore the purpose of education, the validity of letter grades, standardized testing, self-actualization, authenticity, and my model for looking at students. As a reminder, you will receive an email from me each Sunday telling you about the latest post and any other information (events, updates, etc..) As always, feel free to hit "reply" … [Read more...]

What is Executive Functioning? How Does it Affect My Child? (In Plain English + Free PDF cheatsheet)

Click here take the Executive Function Quiz Why is an article about Executive Function so critical? If your child struggles with school (homework, trouble staying on-task, disorganized, problems with time management, avoidant, resistant, forgetful, overwhelmed, etc.), they probably struggle with Executive Function, and this article is literally the most important article I've written for you. You see, Executive Function is the #1 term parents and teachers must understand in order to help … [Read more...]

Down to the wire – How to pull it together at the end of the school year

Please CLICK above to share. As far as the school year is concerned, it's down to the wire, the pressure is on, the stakes are high. Just a couple more weeks and school is out. If students don't pull it together right now, they will end up retaking classes, going to summer school, missing graduation requirements, etc.. I know because I see the exact same patterns every year. Struggling students are swimming upstream, overwhelmed, don't know where to start, don't know how to study effectively, … [Read more...]

Why every student needs a “Blocker app”

We live in a time when there are more distractions than ever before. So much is vying for out attention and this makes it really challenging for kids to focus on schoolwork (or anything else for that matter). We need tools that work. Computers present a unique challenge because much of the schoolwork students do is done on them. While using this technology for schoolwork is great, there is a strong temptation to think you can multitask with other tabs or apps in the background. Unfortunately, … [Read more...]

Advice from a professional 7th grader

Please CLICK above to share. One of my favorite questions to ask students of any age is, "what advice would you give yo your younger self?" It's the type of open-ended question that empowers people to get really introspective really fast. It helps people come up with their own answers, to gain clarity, to take ownership of their own growth. In this video I am speaking with Diego, a 7th grader I work with. Brilliant kid, uber-creative, outside-the-box thinker, and funny. He has a lot … [Read more...]

There’s failure and then there’s failure. And then… there’s failure.

Yes, three types of failure. 1. The "F" Let's start with the most trite type of failure, but perhaps the most corrosive since it gives birth to a perceptual limit in children that simply does not need to exist. The F. It's a grade, supposedly an assessment of school performance. Letter grades were invented in the 1890s (yes, they're in dire need of modernization). True story: Originally, there was A, B, C, D & E. Teachers were afraid students would think the E meant "excellent" so they … [Read more...]

How to trap a monkey (video)

There's an old story called "How to trap a monkey" which is a great metaphor for life and for working with your obstacles. It's one of those stories you can apply to your life and that you'll remember for many years. 💚 Give: Love my work and want to donate? 🎦 YouTube: Visit my official YouTube channel here. Please subscribe, like & comment to support my work. 👉 Share: To support me, please *CLICK* at the bottom to share on FB or Pinterest. ✏️ EF101: Here's my jumpstart course … [Read more...]

Quick Links