Category: Homework/studying

7 End of Semester tips for parents

Please CLICK above to share. Parents, here’s how to help your student finish fall semester strong. (NOTE- In-depth, free webinar coming soon on my site to help you help your child at end of semester.) If your child is struggling at this point in the semester, it WILL NOT FIX SELF. Don’t give up, and pick your battles wisely. Here are some quick notes:
  1. Know it’s EF: they want to do well but don’t know how. Compassionate support.
  2. RELATIONSHIP: 3:1, fun, connect first, encourage them, know when to let things go. Realistic expectations of your kid, not A’s but about the actions that get good grades: org, planning, asking for help, buy-in.
  3. MINDSET: discuss resistance openly, show understanding.
  4. CLARITY: email teachers now, look at portals, syllabi.
  5. OVERHAULS: SSS, Locker, backpack, take your time, fun.
  6. HABITS: routines, plan day, sleep, the more stable the better.
  7.  OTHER PEOPLE HELPING: tutor, proactive, email teachers for office hours, friends, you.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Hey, what’s up, parents? It’s the end of the semester. It’s Fall 2019, and this is what I call ‘Hail Mary time.’ Basically after Thanksgiving break and before Winter break is Hail Mary time. The reason that I call it that is because a lot of students this time of year struggle with executive function are going to fail classes at Hail Mary time if they don’t do what they need to do. What do they need to do? Well these are kids with missing, incompletes, late works, zero’s, test corrections, they have all this stuff going on and they don’t know how to manage the workload. They’ve got their current work, they’ve got their makeup work, and now the end of the semester during Hail Mary time in particular, they tend to have finals and final projects, final large reading assignments, some final large papers to write, and they don’t understand that they can’t just do it the night before at 8 pm on a Sunday night with something that’s due on a Monday or study for an exam the night before and that does it. They haven’t wrapped their head around this. If your child struggles with executive function, these sort of things, in this video I’m going to tell you about how to finish strong during Hail Mary time, how to help your child. I have seven ideas for how you can help your child, and then I’m going to do a webinar on this where I’ll go into depth and have some PDFs for you and stuff where I’m going to involve the kids so that you’re not the one telling them. Anyhow, my name is Seth with SethPerler.com right here. Go ahead and check out my website to sign-up for the freebies that I have for parents and kids to help your student navigate school. So, I’m an executive function coach. I focus on helping struggling students day in and day out. This is what I do. This time of the year is really important for me with my clients to do things right, and for me to know and for me to convey to my students and families that this will not fix itself. To convey to them, do NOT give up. And for me, with the students that I’m working with to pick our battles wisely. Where are we going to put our energy? Because they’re not going to get straight A’s most likely, we’re not going for that. We’re going for the things, the actions, the behaviors, the actions to take that produce good grades. That’s what we’re really looking for, that’s what really matters. Who cares about the results? We’re worried about the process, worried about the habits that we want our kids to build so that they apply skills. So here are the seven things that you can do. Number 1: Parents, know that this an executive function issue. It’s not a matter of willfulness, it’s not a matter of they don’t care. Your kid wants to do well, they just don’t know how. So compassionately approaching them with that sort of an attitude, “Look, I know that you just don’t know what to do or where to start, I’m here to help you.” I know that every parent watching this, you all have different dynamics in your family. Some of you have homework battles all the time, some of you do not. Some of you are pushing, pushing, pushing. Some of you are really laid back and watching. There’s the whole gamut of parenting styles and relationship styles. That doesn’t matter, you need to know that no matter who you are, that it has to do with legitimate executive function struggles, brain development, and that your child wants to do well but they don’t know how and don’t have the tools yet to do this. Number 2: The most important thing is the relationship, that you’re building happy and healthy relationships. Your kid is everything in your life, you know, you want to have a great relationship with them. If you want to get buy-in from your kid to allow you to help them, to listen to the suggestions or advice that you have, to work with them on their projects or what they’re studying, things like that, if you want to be able to help them with those things, you have to have the relationship. Be there, where your kid feels emotionally safe enough to come to you to tell you these things. So one thing I talk about is the 3:1 rule, where you give your kid three positives to every one perceived negative. Can you give your kid three positives to every one negative. Can you do 1:1, to some families this is a stretch. That is a good thing, that is forward motion. So does your kid feel like, “Oh you never notice what I do right, blah blah blah,” if they feel like that, then you want to reverse that feeling where they really feel seen, okay. So they relationship. Connect with them first. If you want to help them with stuff, help them get reorganized, work on homework, connect first. Don’t go straight into it. Connect with them, have fun with them. Remember they’re your kid and enjoy them. Encourage them. And know when to let things go, a lot of times might be like, “Oh you got an 89%, why didn’t you get a 90%?” Or, “Oh you cleaned up your room, but you left that sock on the floor.” Know when to let things go and to see all the effort that they’ve put into certain things and have realistic expectations. If your child has D, getting a C is a success. It’s growth, it’s progress. You know, not worrying about all A’s and everything perfect, and every problem perfect. What is good enough? Know when to let it go, have realistic expectations. These kids feel a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure. It doesn’t motivate them, it doesn’t make them want to try harder because they’re feeling so much pressure, especially at this time of year. So really compassionately building the relationship and try to get by and trying to help them get to want you to help them. Relationship is key. Number 3: Mindsets. You, them, we all have to have mindsets. So your kid has the resistance mindset. The resistance mindset is, “ah, I don’t want to do this, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll do it later, I’ll do it in the morning, I’ll do it in five minutes, this is stupid, why do I have to do this, when am I ever going to use this. I don’t wanna. I don’t feel like it.” These are all resistance mindsets. The mindset that we want to have is, “okay, I can do this, I can figure this out,” and I want you to have a realistic with your kid about mindset too. What’s your mindset about this? I want you to hear them. Don’t try to change them. Don’t say, “oh well you should feel this way, oh you shouldn’t feel that way.” Instead be like, “oh that’s an interesting mindset, tell me more about that. I really want to understand.” And then you can say, “my experiences, I try to have this type of mindset when I have big things to accomplish like that.” You’re not trying to convince them to have your mindset, but you’re trying to tell them what you do. I don’t try to convince my kids, okay, I do try to encourage them and tell them what I think and what I see. But I really want them to feel heard. The power of just feeling heard is so big and when my kids can feel like, “oh, Seth just heard me, he understands, he gets it.” Then I can get moving into a, “okay, now let’s get to work,” on whatever the schoolwork is. Number 4: Clarity. You need clarity, number 4 is clarity. How are you, the parent, going to get clarity if you can’t rely on your kid to be clear about what’s expected. If you can’t rely on the portals or teacher communications, or you can’t rely on looking in the backpack to figure it out, or you can’t rely on looking at your kids planner to figure it out. How are you going to get clarity regarding what needs to get done realistically? Well, email the teachers, now, today. Look at the portals, look at the syllabi, those are the three main things you’re going to do to get clarity. Connect with the teachers, look at the portal thoroughly, and look at the syllabi if they even exist thoroughly. That’s how you’re going to get clarity. So just hit up the teachers, be like “hey what’s up, I need some clarity. We have three weeks until winter break, I need to know what’s coming up. Are there any exams, are there any big papers or are there any projects I should be aware of. What do I need to know?” Don’t wait on it. Your kids going to tell you, “Don’t email my teachers, teachers hate it when you email them, they don’t like it.” I hear the same stories over and over and over and over and over and over. Okay, look. You’re not stepping on your kids’ toes even though they’re at an age when they’re going to say anything to get you to not email them. But, you need clarity. You don’t even need to tell them you’re going to email the teachers. You can also tell them, “Look, I love you. I love you enough to figure out what’s going on so I can help you, even if you don’t like it.Number 5: Overhauls. If your kid is going to figure out what they need to do in the next few weeks, they need to first get a clean slate. They need to do some overhauls. They need to overhaul maybe their locker, their secret study space or their study area, their backpack. There are three main things. The backpack includes the folders and papers and everything like that. So you need to overhaul their lockers, their study environment, and their backpack so that they can sort of get to reset because they have so much clutter and stuff in their lockers, on their desks, and in their backpacks right now that they don’t even know where to start, they’ve lost track of things. If your kid is one of the kids like I work with who struggle with executive function, you have to start with a clean slate. So go ahead and do an overhaul, clean slate of some things. Number 6: Habits. Habits and routines. One of the most important habits your kid should have, this I can talk about more in-depth during the webinar, is a daily plan. If I had one thing that was the biggest game-changer of all, and I’ve worked with hundreds and hundreds of students, the number one biggest game-changer is when the kid really understands habit. Chunk down and make a daily plan. They need habits and routines for sleep. The more stables their habits and routines for sleep, exercise, nutrition, getting up, getting out the door in the morning, doing their homework, planning their day using their planner, checking their planners, the more that they have habits and routines the more stable they are, the better off they’re going to be. Number 7: Finally, connection with others. So if you want your kid to succeed during Hail Mary time, there are three suggestions that I have, technically four, in terms of connecting with others. What do I mean by others? Well, one, you, the parent. You helping your kid through the Hail Mary time, you connect with them in a way where they will actually listen to you. Now I know a lot of you have homework battles and again, some don’t. But you may have to back up and slow down, really create a safe place so they can receive your help first. Anyhow, connecting with you to get through Hail Mary time. Getting a tutor proactively at Hail Mary time. If you get a tutor a few times before Hail Mary time and spend the money on it, but that saves your kid a whole other semester where they’d have to have retaken it if they failed it, that can be well worth it. So proactively getting a tutor, proactively emailing the teachers, finding out when their office hours are with clarity. Can your kid go in before school, after school, during office hours, or during some other special time to see the teachers so that you actually know from the horse’s mouth when your kid can get help and support from the teacher. So getting your kid to go to the teacher to connect with the teacher so that they can get help during this time. And finally, friends. Friends where they can together to study, to work on their homework, have study parties, have their friends come over on the weekend to work on their projects or papers, or things like that. Even though you may feel like they get off task, if they’re generally on task it’s totally fine, if they get off the task, if they’re working on it, they’re gonna get more out of it and enjoy it more, resent it last, things like that. So others, get others involved with your kid through the Hail Mary time so that they can successfully go through it. Get a tutor, you work with them, email the teachers, see how they can work with them, and friends working with them. Anyhow, again, my name is Seth with SethPerler.com. If you haven’t signed up for my freebies and weekly updates, check it out on my website, SethPerler.com. I put something out for families every single week. This is what my life is dedicated to, to serving kids, to helping kids who struggle with executive function have a better life. And I will do a webinar soon, probably next week. A free webinar going in-depth where you can really sit down and give you some great strategies for getting through this. Be well, take care. Oh, and if you want to give it a thumbs up, leave a comment, tell me what you do to help you get through the UGYG or Hail Mary time. Please CLICK below to share.

The questions students SHOULD be asking themselves

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Students with executive function challenges benefit from being taught directly about strategies for school and life success then implementing them for a looong time. After many years of working with these kids, there are definitely a handful of ESSENTIAL questions they SHOULD be asking themselves on a daily basis in order to effectively track the systems they need to be maintaining. When students DON’T learn to ask these questions, things fall apart, they become more disorganized, they end up with a bunch of missing and late work, grades fall and stress goes up for everyone. This video dives into some specific questions to ask and why they are so important. Very best, Seth Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth

Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them ASAP, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Hey parents, teachers, and students. What’s up? My name is Seth. I’m an executive function coach in Boulder, Colorado and I help struggling students navigate this thing called education. I’m going to talk a little bit today about this sheet that I use in my office quite a bit and I did an extensive video on this and why it’s so important.
So basically I created the sheet after years and years and years of asking students the exact same question. And the reason I created that sheet is that these are the questions that students need to be asking themselves. However, if your child, if you’re a teacher, if your students, who struggle with executive function, or if you are a student who is trying to figure out how to navigate this thing called school on your own, you want to be asking the right questions. These are the questions you are going to need to be asking yourself on a daily basis. Now with most successful students, this comes relatively easy to them again. Why? These students who are naturally organized naturally have relatively good executive functions. They ask these questions more or less automatically and they think through these things in order to make sure that no stone goes unturned, that they are really asking the right questions to make sure that they’re on top of what needs to happen. The students that I work with that struggle with executive function tend to have a lot of missing or incomplete work, zeros, test corrections, and things like that and they missed details and they might have homework that they just forgot to turn in that they actually did. They may have forgotten to turn it in with their name on and got no credit etcetera. Either way, they tend to miss details, but basically what does she does is it breaks down the questions that I want students to be asking on a regular basis. I’m only going to focus on one part of the sheet. Basically, when my kids first come in and they’re making a plan for the evening in an ideal situation, they’re going to think through it just like you and I do as adults, we think through our day, “What do I have to do today?” They get home from school. They should be thinking, “What do I have to do tonight?” Obviously kids are with executive function are not necessarily thinking what they have to do that night. Anyhow, I start off by asking, “What’s your number one priority?” This is a very good question asking to ask for these classes. Any makeup work? Then ask if they have any long-term things they should be working on. Then I have the ‘should’ section and that’s what I’m going to talk about right now. In this section you should say, “Hey, do you have any homework?” They’ll say, “I’m all done, finished it all in school. Nope. I’m sure I don’t have anything,” and they really believe they don’t have anything to do but they’re not understanding that there are other things that they should be doing on a regular basis that other students do naturally, but these students often don’t do it at all. What happens is they end up in the big ‘dip’ and they end up spending the rest of the semester trying to swim upstream and dig themselves out of holes. So what are the questions? I will put them on my blog so that you can cut and paste them and make a print out if you want. But basically, the questions that I ask my students all the time is this: “Hey, what do you have to do tonight?” They might say, “Just math, that’s it. Yep. That’s it. No, everything else good. Yep. Everything else. Good. Respond with, “Okay, well should you check your portals tonight?” Oftentimes what schools do is this is a mess. I might have a student who has a portal called Infinite Campus, Google Classroom, and Schoology. For example, I might have kids with multiple portals, or they may have one teacher that has their own website where they post up. It is a mess, a logistical nightmare for kids who struggle with executive function. It is very difficult for them to know what they need to stay on top of it, to even know where to go. So I ask, “Should we check your portals tonight?” And when I do that, I thoroughly check them. For example, when we check the Grade Portal, my students are often looking at them, “I have an 82 in this class,” and I say, “I don’t care that you have an 82, let’s look at the details because that’s where it shows the missing and incomplete work, zeros, and the things that you need to know.” That’s where we see patterns. That’s where we can see, “Oh, this kid has an A, they’re getting all their homework turned in and that’s why they have the A. But all of their quizzes and tests are lower scores.” So we know it gives us the information we need to work on study skills, for example. Question 1. “Should we look at the portals tonight?” Question 2. “Should we deal with your inbox tonight?” A lot of times these students are not looking at their inbox, ever. They don’t reply to emails that legitimately require a reply. If they do reply to the email, they often do it in a short way where they’re not capitalizing, they’re not indenting, or they’re not showing that they know how to write a letter. They don’t have to be long, but they at least should be courteous. And should they should show that they know how to actually communicate via writing in a quick email. They often have a lot of spam. They often have a lot of like things that they’ve subscribed to where they have millions of things that never opened all these things. So should we deal with the inbox tonight? Question 3. Planner. “Should we deal with updating the planner?” In an ideal world, every day your child is crossing off for checking off each day and all of the things that they’ve done that day. So that by the end of the day you can look in a month, for example, and see a bunch of crossed tasks in the days because they are regularly checking it out. These kids don’t do that. So should we update your planner? And now it’s in your planner. It isn’t just getting it up to date for what you can cross off, but it’s also asking if you need to backwards plan. Do you have a project coming up where you need to backwards plan? And you need to be working on that and also getting in your planner give extracurricular activity. And upcoming homework. What you have to do tomorrow is that in the planner. So should use the update the planner question. Question 4. Should we reset your backpack? I do this every week or two with all of my students. We take everything out of the pack. We could reorganize all the folders. We organize all the pockets and we organize all the school supplies. We organize the entire backpack and what do you know because it starts with executive function. You know homework that was supposed to be done today, or that got lost in the backpack. Papers that are in the wrong folders, papers ready to be recycled, things like that. We need to reset the backpack. Question 5. Is there any makeup work? I know I mentioned this earlier in this video, but I will ask this question, should I work on makeup work because these, kids when you say, “Do you have any homework,” they’re thinking about “no, I don’t have anything to do today or these are the things I have to do today.” But if they have missing or makeup work that needs to be done, that’s often not on their radar, okay. “Do you have makeup work that you’re forgetting about?” Question 6. This is a very very powerful question. “Are you forgetting anything?” When I ask the student if they’re forgetting anything, my goal is that I see them take a moment and maybe look around thinking about it and seriously contemplate, “Am I forgetting anything?” This is a very powerful question and often times a student will say, “Oh, yeah. I’m forgetting blah blah blah.” They’re forgetting the thing. And so it’s a great question that helps capture the things that we have missed. So my goal when working with these students is to catch all the details and to help with executive function a lot of things. The questions I just mentioned are very related to Executive function directly or indirectly. So again, here are the questions you should ask. “Hey, what’s up Japanese homework tonight? Okay, you know we go through the the deal but should you check your portals tonight? Should you deal with your inboxes tonight? Should you deal with your planner tonight and update it thoroughly. Should you reset your backpack and reorganize yourself tonight? Do you have makeup work that you should be worth? And did you forget anything?” That’s all I have for you. Again, my name is Seth Perler, I’m an executive function coach based out of Boulder, Colorado. I hope you’re having a great day. And if you like my work, please share it with somebody today. And also if you are on YouTube, you can go ahead and give me a thumbs up and a comment if you want tell me what you think about this, if there are questions that I’m forgetting that I should be asking students. Should you be doing this tonight so that they are covering all the bases are there. Is there anything that I’m leaving out and what do you guys do to deal with us? All right. I will see you soon. Take care.  

Spring Fever – the wheels are coming OFF!

Please CLICK above to share. Parents, what do you do when it’s SPRING FEVER time, the wheels are coming off, grades are suffering, and motivation goes down with the nice weather and the end of the school year? Spring Fever can overwhelm students as they deal with makeup work, current work, end of semester projects AND less motivation because it’s spring. Don’t give up! In this video with Debbie Steinberg-Kuntz from the Bright and Quirky summit, we dive deep into 4 big steps that will help you help your child.
Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

well Alright how everybody? Hey guys, it’s Debbie Steinberg Kuntz and Steph Perler. And we’re just going to have a little chat because we’re hearing the same thing that the wheels are coming off the bus with grades. It is spring there’s lots of spring fever around and Seth Perler as you may know is an amazing executive function coach. She was in her bright and quirky child on my stomach and he’s got a course that talks about this exact thing. So I thought who better to ask and stuff Perler so sad hi there. Hi everybody. So what do you do when people come to you and I’m hearing from teens. Like I can’t get my head in the game. The wheels are falling off the bus the grades are in the toilet. Where do you begin? And what do you tell them specifically? Okay. So I guess it had the first thing that I think of it will force while what is spring fever, right? So and what happened to just a real basic what happens is is that basically for the students that I work with a lot of the students that you work with the students that start with. Where it doesn’t come early. Naturally. What happens is they start the semester off generally pretty strong but this in terms of the second semester, they just come up winter break their backs may be there reorganize maybe they’re restarting their planner. Maybe they’ve had some lectures from their parents about this mess is going to be different the kids like yeah, this mess was going to be different and so what happened they start off spring semester relatively well and Then about 6-8 weeks in Things Fall Apart or or parents find out that things are falling apart and grades of taking a nosedive is as much a missings incomplete slate work and things like that and pear and then the student spends the rest Messer trying to swim upstream trying to deal with the makeup work the incomplete the late work at the test corrections. And what have you also dealing with current work. So there’s two things late work current work also dealing with that what I call Pepper which is end of semester work which are long-term projects that these are the kids that on a Sunday the night before something to do on a Monday say Mom Dad. I got the giant project due tomorrow and the parent says when did you know about this and the kids as I’ve known about it for a month or the kid doesn’t usually say that in the 4th of my but that’s the stuff. They have this end of this mess with have been Peppers or things papers exams projects and large reading assignments like a novel which is often accompanied by buy a project or at or sometimes an exam but usually project are paper. So at the end of the semester last week is the last week is the final exam final project final papers and large reading assignments that are culminating in that time. It’s the perfect storm it is because so to read the repeat that you got your current work your makeup work your pepper stuff and you also have spring fever. So after spring break the kids are back in school the weather’s nice. They want to be outside motivation is even worse in the reason. This is so important for you and I to talk about two people. It’s because parents and teachers are not really can step. Rising. Perfect Storm those four things and how they combine to make a child feel who struggles with executive function how they combine to create so much overwhelmed that the resistance is just boom everything they can think of to resist mom. Leave me alone. I’ve got to get off my back. Why don’t you trust me? I’ll talk to the teacher tomorrow. The teacher just hasn’t updated the website yet. The teacher hasn’t answered my grades and I swear I turned her that. I know I turned it and I remember turning it in. Yes. I put my name on all that stuff happening in there. So resistant, I’ll do it in an hour. I’ll do them five minutes. I’ll do it tomorrow. I already did it was lying. A lot of students are literally lying. So I hear that story of us. So basically we’re at this point and I just wanted to set the stage. So that’s that’s what’s going on here with the with the spring fever Thought Justin Bieber all of these things combined. Right, right. So now we’re deep in the pressure cooker. They come to you. I’ve heard you talk about the dep this whole idea that you start off well and then things Jap and then I come to you for the Hail Mary. What are we going to do to wrap things up? And I know this is like fire course which were going to sell your dope reach out and we’re going to be watching at the dinner table as a family like 15 minutes tonight. I’m so excited but just in a nutshell, I know you’re so good at talking to kids directly about yeah. What do you say as I talk right now? So I I know whoever is watching. This is pretty much parents. There’s going to be some teachers watching this but in a moment you’ll hear me shift and I’ll sort of talked to the students so you can click play on the it after you’re done watching this if you want to show it to your student. We speak to the students, so So what happens is is that I get parents were hiring meets work with a student. Technically. I’m of service to the student first. That’s the way that I look at it parents second for the parents. Obviously the ones that hire me now student. Hey, what’s up? My name is Seth and if you are going through this to the Deb urine spring fever, you have a bunch of makeup work, but the light works you got a bunch of big stuff coming up exams and projects and stop coming up and so students I’m talking to you right now. I got two types of students out there. I have all students that I work with are resistant to all students. I work with don’t feel like it they’ve got excuses get off my back. Leave me alone, Mom and Dad. I’ve got this blah blah blah all my students are resistant. They procrastinate they put off doing their work and their their swimming Upstream trying to finish the school year trying to pass everything. Okay, all my students are resistant. So you listening to me right now are resistant. That’s fine. Now of my resistance to do. Do students. Listen to me right now of my resistance students. There are two types. I have the resistance students that really want it and really are willing to be honest with their parents. Even if they plied their willing to be honest about that. They’re willing to work hard. Even if it’s the struggle they’re willing to do the struggle. They really want finish the semester well, and then I’ve got the student that really doesn’t and really isn’t ready. I’m really isn’t willing to overcome stuff so I can’t help that students who is really stuck is really resisting. Who’s that went right? But if you are a student who wants to end school you’re on a better note, then you can do that. Now Debbie and I are talking about here is what can you do what specific things so I work with students day in and day out who struggle with these things. I was the student start with d How do I get the resistant kid who does want to end on a better note, how do I get them to end the school year on a better? So I’m going to tell you specifically how I would do that and it’s some variation of this first thing to do if you want to end on a better note is get crystal clear on what the heck is going on because the students that I work with are foggy day. What do you have for homework tonight that I really don’t know you have any tests this week? I can’t remember. I know I have something in this one’s so you need to get clarity number one. How do you get clarity there? A few ways one you rely on your mind. That is the worst way to get clarity but it is an important part of clarity and sometimes it works. It’s just not the most reliable way to get to if you have syllabi her syllabus prove different classes you examine the syllabi to see any big do dates or any big things coming out? Sometimes you’ll have that more. College students some high school students have it not many middle school students have a very good at syllabus it all online portal schoology Infinite Campus things like that. Now I know students is extraordinary really annoying frustrating and complicated to find me information that you need to find on these portals. Skip multiple teachers with multiple different sites, and I know it’s confusing. So that’s one way to get clarity when it comes to getting Clarity online that way will you want to do if your parents are willing to help you with this or you have a teacher and Mentor tutor or someone is going to help you with this have them help you get the clarity and what are you getting with Clarity with any of these things? What you’re trying to do is we’re trying to make a master list of all the things you need to be responsible. So that next one is you’re going to be looking online. The next one is you’re going to ask the teachers. There are two ways to Ask them online or in person if you ask them in person the problem is is that my students will say yes. I’ll talk to my teacher tomorrow next day, Did you talk to your teacher know I forgot. So how do we deal with accountability? I have my students email to teacher. Hey, I’m going to talk to you tomorrow during office hours or lunch or after school help or whatever. You have a couple minutes so we can chat and I can get clarity and that worm to say over whenever you need Clarity Clarity on what I need to do to end the year on a better note. So like it’s in the way they forget and they don’t know yet. What a lot of us know is do it while you’re thinking about it. If you do it when you think about it and email them then that sets up the conversation for the next day. It’s supposed you up for Success. Yeah, and people don’t want to email the teacher because they don’t want to stay there. It’s we just don’t want to take the energy to do it, you know will resist it. Now. Remember well, you know what be honest with yourself that’s another part of this process is the honesty with ourselves to say, hey know what I’m not great at remembering details, and I’m okay with myself and I’m not I don’t care if people say me in the world. I’m not shaving myself. I’m cool with it. I need to write stuff down. I need to take notes. I need to whatever but yeah, like you said yeah here it bright and quirky we call that being a scientist just know that your brain works that way, you know, can you try it one way that didn’t work. Let’s experiment try to another way and like you said set yourself up for success and I like the word scientist because it’s subjective. There’s no shame. There’s no I’m bad or there’s something wrong with me or I’m stupid or I can’t do a tour. So we need Clarity we can either go to the teacher in person or we can email them to tell them where we’re going to go in person or we can email them. They just say it in the email. Hey, I need 30. What do I need to be to be successful now some of you students are watching this right now and you’re thinking well, my teachers don’t want to hear from me that usually is not true. So you can let that one go but some of you were saying well, I don’t like my teacher. My teacher hates me or I feel like my teacher doesn’t like me. Sometimes that maybe true you may really feel like your teacher doesn’t like you made me really feel like you’re not connected to them and that the hard case but you want to Advocate anyway and say hey dude. Hey teacher whatever their name is I want to do. Well, please give me some clarity. I need to know what I need to do. So the whole point of what I just said was there all these different ways. I may bless them out. But basically the point is you step one is you have got to get Are on what you have to do to climb that Giant mountain of stuff that you need to do to address pepper current work and late work master-list. I love it. Now. You got a master list now similar to whatever was saying before with the scientist thing. You have to be honest with yourself that you’re not going to do it. If you’re more perfectionistic, you’re not going to do everything perfectly. You probably won’t even do it all so don’t worry about getting AIDS because what happens with my students as they want to do a perfectly and they end up not turning anything in at all sometimes so you don’t want to get caught in trap that I’ve just be like, hey, I’m going to eat soap Step2. I guess we’ll be the mindset having a mindset up. Look I’m going to do my best. I’m going to be strategic. I’m going to try to do everything. I’m going to try to get enough done. I’m going to try to do an enough makeup work enough current work enough the projects and maybe I missed a couple things, but I’m just going to do my best. Set up compassion to yourself. Look just doing my best every day. I’m going to chip away at it. I’m going to do a little bit. I talked about the 1% rule, but you just do 1% more. Why because when we say we’re going to 100% more I’m going to get an A+ whatever we set ourselves up for failure. We have to learn to take baby steps. Just can I do a little bit more today? Can I do one more problem? And I study for one more minute. Can I do one more thing on the study guide? Can I study? Can I revise this thing one more time? Can I add one more detailed sentence, you know, whatever. Can I just do it’s all about a little bit more so that I am not. Okay and I am out. Don’t you have your master list? They want to prioritize it we want to see what to do with the sooner things first. Exactly. So now we have this giant list and it is going to feel overwhelming. You can break it down into smaller list if you want. It doesn’t matter how you do it, but do it somehow but yes now we have to really get more clarity on it. So what I recommend my students do with a list of things is first to estimate how long it will take. So let’s say that tonight. I have met a math assignment to do I have to write a draft and I have to check my online grades. I have to reorganize my backpack let there were things to do we organize in my backpack might be 15 minutes check. My online grades might be 5 minutes doing the math might be 30 minutes whatever now am I going to be wrong in the estimation? Yes, because we are timeline. We don’t we aren’t realistic about how long things take but at least we’re getting some idea of how long it takes on your master list put a little circle next to each thing and write about how long you think it’ll take Why because that Juju concrete a concrete idea of the energy in the time that you’re going to need to devote to whatever the thing is and then you’re going to write what order you want to do things in and you want to be strategic like if you can do several small assignments that will take you 5 minutes each and you can get let’s say 200 points for that or you could do an assignment that’s good take you two hours and only get 30 points for you know, prioritize the one that makes more sense to prioritize knock out a bunch of anyhow, I asked this question Debbie when people are prioritizing I say, what do you want to do for the most important is the most important first the shortest first the longest verse the easiest first or the hardest person because people have different preferences now night. I want to honor their preferences, but sometimes I find that I’m pushing a student to do the easiest first because for two reasons one is that helps get the train rolling and the self starting forecast. The nation motivation getting started is one of the hardest things right to just getting the train going. Once you give the Penguins bodies are just starting to starting with the easier. First. A lot of times has the grey strategy the other good thing about doing the easiest first is that you can cross more things off the list. So I have some students and I’ll push them not to do this. I some students who will do the hardest first or the longest first or the most important first and it’s like a two or three-hour thing and then they don’t even finish that in a night and it feels like it got nothing done. A lot of times I’ll push but anyhow, you can do what you want. The point is I don’t really care what order students you going. I don’t really care just shoes in order choose how long you think they’ll take prioritize things? Look what you need to be doing and just do your best. You don’t have to follow the order but think of the order first think it through but you don’t even have to follow it. Now the next thing that I want to recommend which is related to the prioritization the next thing that I want to make So it’s so we have sort of the clarity that we have the mindset and now we have prioritizing herself is I asked units on any given day. What is your number? One priority is today. What is the most important thing? You need to get them today? If you got nothing else done tonight? What is the most important thing you need to get that now? It may not be the shortest thing. But we I do ask my students that every single day because it’s a very good clarifying questions to help you figure. It may not be the first thing you do is but it’s really important to know what’s the most important thing on any given day. So at least if you get nothing else when you get that today so everyday when I sit down at my desk and write down my Big 3, I want to accomplish and a big one. I mean, that would be great for the first one to really clear that that one is absolutely going to get that. I wonder if I have any of these planning sheets around that I used but yeah, so does that sort of its own and we have sort of the clarity on what we need to do to climb them? We have a good mind that the hay I can do this. I’ll just do my best and I’m not going to get myself up and then we have I’m now it’s prioritize electric I would order now we have the execution phase and I think this is a good place for us to wrap up. Debbie is on this execution face. So now we have this mountain to climb. How are we going to ask you. How are we going to do the things we have to do but don’t feel like doing we are resisting doing them where procrastinating we’re putting it off. We’re not realistic about it or lying about it. We’re making excuses for how do we do the things you don’t want to do that from dying to know? So what we need there’s a few things we need to do one is we need to have a an area to focus that doesn’t have distractions turn off the phone get realistic with yourself. You can stay off Snapchat for 5 minutes. You will not die like get honest with yourself like put the phone in the other room turn it off completely. So it’s annoying to turn it back on set a timer for 40 minutes and don’t check your phone at all for 40 minutes or 5 minutes. Whatever it is. I mean what you have to do so the idea for how the main overarching idea for how to do the stuff you don’t want to do is chunky and I’ll get to that in a minute. But like I said first we got to have the environment we have to have a place that’s why we have to put the dog outside. If the dog is annoying we have to let you know if it if it’s in the kitchen and people are cooking we probably and that’s distracting. We probably should move somewhere where there’s not distracted but not probably not in the bedroom on a computer with a bunch of tabs open that are distracting. Get real with yourself like so the first thing you have to do is have an environment where you can focus one on the other side of the focus is remove distractions. So wherever you want to study you should have to be optimized for Focus minimize for distractions optimized for Focus minimize the distractions. The number one you you want to do that and number two for sale start when you want to talk. So how do you eat an elephant Debbie Journey Of A Thousand Miles begins with a single step. Do not write an entire essay when you sit down right the draft write the outline write a paragraph our minds that I have to do this giant thing. So what’s the word for the phase inside right now? Hunky chunky chunky when can eat an entire alphabet. Do you eat at 1 by the time I know that’s a gruesome metaphor best. I like your motion Library like it’s just a bite like it has to be bite-size. So you have to jump down. So you had like Debbie was saying her list of three. I recommend that students only write three to five things down a day that they’re going to do why it’s not realistic to do more than that. So stop over 103 things and you’ll probably get more done thinking of day that do three then having a list of 20, you know, so just pick a few things chunk it down per day whatever you’re going to do that night and chunk down what you’re going to do and you really want to think through what you need to do. Now. I’m going to talk about some specific strategies with pepper that I recommend. So when you are writing papers, I recommend that you block out you chunk and this may sound counter-intuitive to what I just said, but I recommend that you junk a 325 hour block when you’re going to work on a paper. Why because if you think you’re going to sit down and work on your paper York. Page essay or something like that and you think you’re going to sit down for 30 minutes and get anything done. You’re wrong. You’re feeling yourself. I I’m wrong in thinking that about myself Debbie’s or anything about her that her so it takes us a half hour to even get started. If you’re like me. What’s that part of homework? If you set aside three to five hours of work on a paper. Imagine the first half hours just you getting the train boy. Like it’s been getting your stuff organized you cleaning your area you eating a snack you you know, texting someone to ask him about a detail on it. Whatever it’s going to take awhile just to get a tranquil and thought you want a large block because what you want to do is immerse yourself in it. Now, is it a stressful but no, you don’t want too stressful large walk. If you have 5 hours and you say Sunday night from 4 to 9 to stay per night. All I’m going to do is worry about this paper. If you’re doing that then then you’re going to eat dinner in between it. So during that 5 hours, you’ll take it at 45 minutes or an hour for dinner. You will get on social media. You’ll get distracted several times. You will grab a snack you will, you know, go do some jumping jacks or you’ll daydreaming totally forget what you’re doing for 50 minutes ago. I told you no account for that like it’s okay, but get a big block or so. So that’s papers the next one pepr papers. Damn, when you are studying for exams, you don’t want a 325 hour block studying for exams and you certainly don’t want to just wait till the night before and only study. Will you want us to call is called? Sorry everybody. I’m really tired. It’s been a long day. I’m about you want repetition. You you you want to repeat setting. So if you have a test in two weeks, I would rather see you study. Even though 15 minutes doesn’t sound like anything and what I said before for 15 minutes getting ready with a study guide or something or no cards or and I’m not a fan of flashcards the way they’re usually done but that’s another story. But what does study guide or something or study partner? Someone is testing you if they tested you 15 minutes a day for 14 days for 2 weeks before the thing and it was only 15 minutes you are going to get so much more out of that then if you studied all that, however much time that was collected Lee the night before so it’s called spaced repetition. You can Google spaced repetition if you care to but imagine You wanted to 3,000 pushups in a month and you wait 30 days and one day you do 3000 pushups. You’re just going to be so sore won’t be able to move the next day. You’re going to hate push-up. But if you did a hundred today in those 30 days, you would actually see that your musculature was more toned. They would become very easy. You do them more quickly you’d be stronger you feel stronger. So that’s the same type of concept you’re doing a little bit everyday with the stomach. Now the night before should you still study a lot? Of course not thing only study 15 minutes a night before the exam and on some nights. Can you study 2 hours and have a study group? Of course that you get a point that I’m just giving you a basic strategy on pepper because these I want you guys to think about these as you approach this as Hail Mary Time of the Year this spring fever time of the year. Then you have your projects projects are like papers. You want to devote a large 325 hour block want to chill you can put music on for a lot of projects new writing paper you off and don’t Music on cuz you use that type of thinking you need for writing papers different than for most projects, but if you’re glowing stuff together and you know, it’s it’s more or you’re making PowerPoint you’re doing the design party music on it sucks when you’re doing the research or do you really have to think you’re going to want to be able to focus but but you want large blocks for a project and then for the AR reading assignment now, this is something Debbie that you and I have both seen a lot where kids are in elementary school. They’re told you need to be 10 minutes tonight or 20 minutes tonight and that is not reality that is not what gets people to fall in love with reading that is having to jump through hoops to do a reading checklist or a reading log like things kids. Absolutely hate. That’s not what we want to do. We won’t you actually want to enjoy your week. So if you have a large reading assignments, like a novel that they have a 300-page novel, you’re going to write a paper on order project on you do not want to read 30 minutes a night. That is not it if you want to read you want to read groups of chapters. Maybe you read three chapters a night 7 chapters the night, you know how you want to read chapters chapters contain entire ideas that go together you want to end at at at at the end of a chapter not the middle of a chapter and you want to be immersed in the book. So when you’re reading a book and you’re reading 325 chapters, let’s say you can get pretty immersed in the story. I see a lot of students will read like the first chapter be like, I don’t like this book you really that’s not enough time to really even see if you like it. So we’ve kind of lost the art of reading that’s one of those magical things in the world. So just trust me on this guy’s try it out to an experiment with it, but forget about the CliffsNotes and forget about the SparkNotes and forget about you. Actually you can enjoy reading light give it a chance if you’re one of those students who like, you know, you’re you’re just you want to just listen to the audio. Look try it if you’re awake mad, and I know I have a lot of students who still are deeply in love with reading but I get a lot who also have lost their love of reading but large blocks guys and you can’t do it all in one night. You can’t do a night. We’re spending five hours on a project and reading 3 chapters and spend three hours on a lake be realistic the mountain you have to climb is big. I know it says it more than you can probably handle probably realistically. Yeah, so you just do your best and you just do the things you can you know, and if you think oh, I’ll do three hours and you only get 45 minutes then you still got 45 minutes then which is way more than Which is what a lot of resisting kids get stuck in is this pattern of doing nothing and procrastinating so much that they get nothing that’s so Debbie that that is kind of slow here where we look at, you know, we got this pattern with spring fever and it can really cause some severe consequences for us. We want to get Saturday you want to have a good mindset. We want to prioritize how we’re going to get up the mountain and then we want to be able to execute and do the things that need to be done in and just do our best to keep checking way to 1% more do the next day delivery. There’s going to be days when you guys aren’t going to want to do anything and you’re just like Mom Dad just just let me just not do anything today and depending on your relationship with your parents. Hopefully there is some days when they can be like, okay, I can tell you really do need a day off. I’m going to come back in an hour and push you anyhow, and see if we can get started but take some time, you know, take some space but then get back on the neck. Stay and get back to it. You know that you we all are adults to Debbie and I both we have days. I know I have probably two to three days the month Debbie that are like a washed I get depressed. I don’t even have a reason for it. I’m just I can’t rally I can’t and we’ll be human do you get those Debbie? Play absolutely and then you get to the point. Why am I even trying? Call ya if if you guys are having trouble with homework trouble with grades know that you’re not alone. And what’s up talking about. I mean, he’s just laid out a really awesome plan and appearance. I would encourage you to watch this with your kids, you know, pull that flew out the laptop after dinner, you know, just watch it for a few minutes and have a great discussion about what sort of plan you can put together after this just for the Post-it note and putting everything on it and prioritizing and it’s a really good plan. So you’re not alone. And what’s us talking about our life skills that are going to serve you for a very long time to come so stuffed can’t thank you enough and real quick before we wrap up tell us a little bit about your course if you want them deeper and I like literally this world has a lot of problems and when you get older you’re going to build a career on solving problems. All careers are designed to solve some problem. I am in a problem solving. Debbie is But I see that you because we need you we need kids with outside the box brains. We need kids who think differently and learn differently in processed differently. We literally the world literally need you to develop your strengths. So and I say this because I know that you’re resisting I know that you don’t feel like doing the stuff and sometimes you feel like what’s the point of all this. Why do I have to do this homework up when I’m ever going to use that. So the point is that developing a lot of these skills. It’s not going to always feel like you’re going to need them but they will develop you they will help you grow as a human being they will help you become more determined to more motivated than more so that you will have the skills to really pursue your passions and what matters to you and and even if you don’t know what that is now it these you are planting seeds for your future. Even if it doesn’t feel like it you are planting seeds. We need you. I need you the world needs you and I Really say too sincerely. We need you. So thank U students parents as far as the course. I have a semester-long course, it’s called you g y g upgrade your grades and although I one way I don’t even believe in grades on the other and it’s a necessary evil. How do we develop was called the executive function? How do we develop the skills? I have this quirky weird. Awesome big core that guide you through all of these steps to help your student and help you. There’s a student section. That’s about 35 super in-depth. I’m lessons why really break down how he coached students and then I have about 20 really in-depth parent lessons where I really exhausted. We break down all kinds of things so that you can better help your kid be successful in school, but not so that they just get good grades. Not so that they just take a test scores so that they can plant seeds to have a great present as good of quality of life. Now in in in a great future as all about quality of life is not about Conformity and jumping through hoops and just doing what they’re told and it’s about really helping them develop their best selves so you can click on it and find it there and Seth as always such a pleasure and for anyone who and for anyone who has the all access pass from the Brighton Court Summit. We’ve got talk from Seth in 2019. I believe we did the Sunday night overhaul and in the 2018 Summit we did a few part executive function master class, which was just so awesome so stuff you’re a fan of your friend and I just always love talking with you. Thanks so much for the opportunity. Good luck ever. Okay. Take care.

Math Disability Dyscalculia? What you need to know.

Please CLICK above to share. Parents and teachers, in this vlog I interview two math specialists about Dyscalculia, the “dyslexia of math”. If your child struggles with math, you’ll want to check this out to see if it resonates.
Today, two math nerds join me to talk about Dyscalculia looks like and why Math is so hard for your kiddo. You’ll hear from Adrianne Meldrum, a certified teacher who’s invested her time and money into learning multisensory math and Kara Scanlon who is an educational therapist and trained in Making Math Real.  Together they’ve teamed up to make multisensory math more accessible by taking these specialized techniques all online so students and families can receive help regardless of where they work. To get a taste of the work they do, head over to their YouTube channel or visit their case study page to see the kind of work they do with students up to pre-calculus. April 5th, 2019 they’ll be hosting a webinar where they’ll deep dive into dyscalculia as well, you can register for a spot here: https://mathformiddles.com/courses/  The sign up is right at the top of the page. ps- Here is their case study page: https://mathformiddles.com/case-study AND, we need you to develop your best self.

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To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you -Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Hey, what’s up? It’s me, Seth Perler at SethPerler.com, and today we are going to talk about dyscalculia, which is a math disability. I’m so excited about this, we have with us today Adrianne Meldrum, who is somebody that I’ve known for a long time. She’s one of my favorite math nerds in the world as well as Kara Scanlon who I don’t know well but they are working together on some projects. They’ll be having a dyscalculia webinar coming up in April. Adrian and I have known each other for years, we’ve done a lot of work and support of each other’s missions and stuff like that. So I’m super stoked for this. This is for you parents and teachers if you are concerned about any kids who struggle with math, I want you to at least get it to listen to the beginning of this. After if you want to listen to the rest of this if dyscalculia might be something that that you want to take a look at. Seth: So let’s do a quick intro. Adrianne, tell everybody about you and what you do? Adrianne: Yeah hey, I’m Adrianne, I own Math for Middles, and I’ve been tutoring kids in math for a long time, since about 2006. And I was always frustrated because there’s always a certain percentage of my students that we would learn something, they would forget it, they’d come back, and it’s gone or they go to school couldn’t get it out on a test. Even though I knew they knew the material. I was really frustrated by that, I deep-d0ve into research and started learning about multi-sensory math, dyscalculia, dyslexia, and all of those types of issues, ADHD as well, and how they affect that. It’s totally involved in my teaching and now those are not issues for my students because I teach the way their brain is wired. So that’s a little bit about me. Kara: I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was five and I actually got diagnosed with ADHD about three years ago. It was always there but I didn’t need the extended time so it wasn’t a necessity for my parents to get that diagnosis and I was always playing sports hardcore, so that was my medicine at the time. So because of that, I have empathy for my students, I truly understand how difficult it is to learn. For me, it was spelling, reading, writing, but the math part wasn’t really an issue for me. So that’s where I can teach it, but I can be empathetic when a student doesn’t get it. Seth: So you work with kids on math nowadays? Kara: Yeah, I tap out at Calc 3. That’s when my brain doesn’t know how to make this not multi-sensory enough to engage, even though Calc 3 can be very multi-sensory. Seth: Cool, we’re going to talk about dyscalculia. Does the audience need to know what multi-sensory math is at this point? Adrienne: Yeah, I think that would be a good way to segway into it. Seth: Great, let me frame my question, what is multi-sensory math and why should a parent or teacher or even care that this concept exists? Adrienne: Yes, multi-sensory math is all about the sensory input that we’re putting in and we start with kinesthetic, touching things were manipulating objects for building things with our hands, models, in Legos are a plentiful resource for that at it’s most basic. Then we moved to representational. I think of just pictures drawings, you know, real simple drawings, they don’t have to be really detailed, and then we moved to the abstract. All of the instruction you experience Seth and that we experienced in school was all abstract, was all numbers. It’s a procedure, memorization. And that is how your kids are being taught right now in school, which is really likely, that’s how my students are being taught too, it’s going to be hard for them to master those math skills. And when we work with kids online, their first experience, and we jump right in with that multi-sensory, after about 10 minutes they say, “whoa, no one’s ever taught me that way before,” and it starts to make sense and they start changing that belief. It goes from ‘I’m not a math person,’ to ‘hey, I kind of like math,’ to ‘I’m a math person. I can do this work and it’s really exciting.’ And the progression they’re making is really fast, we just did an assessment with a student, he started out at like a third-grade level and in just nine months, he’s almost up to grade level. Seth: And how old was he? Adrienne: He is 14. So we’ve made a lot of progress. It’s exciting to his mom, she was telling me during the assessment that she was floored too because before he would fret and worry and spend all this time spinning his wheels that she was watching him. He’s just looking confident now even though all the problems were abstract like he would be at school. He was supported with that multi-sensory approach so he knows what to do and how it ties to the abstract. Kara: It’s a total mind shift too about his identity related to math. Seth: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’s so important that because so often they have that limited belief that fixed the mindset, “I’m just not good at math, I’m just not a math person”. That’s really sad to see. So parents and teachers are watching, when I’m dealing with kids with math who struggled a lot, what I talked a lot about is what I call Bucket Theory. So you have this bucket, we’re trying to fill this bucket with math information, but these kids have holes in the bucket. So as we’re trying to teach them in math, it’s very sequential and gets harder and harder as the school year goes by, as years go by so they have all these holes and as they get into more complex math that they would normally be able to do if the holes were filled, it appears that they are not capable. Would that be a good metaphor? Adrienne: Absolutely, perfect metaphor. Kara: I was going to say, that’s what I see everyday. Adrienne: And yeah, that student we were describing, we were just looking at his graph last night, and exactly. We’re seeing holes filled, he’s maxed out on so many things that matter on the foundational and that I’m just so excited about his progress. Seth: Cool, so before we define dyscalculia, I want to just get people who’re watching really engaged and let them make sure if they’re in the right place. So what I’m going to ask you before a formal definition is I’m going to ask you what do parents and teachers who’re working with the kid with dyscalculia hear them say. So what would a parent say if their kid, they should be concerned what words are they? What are they saying to you? And in your mind, you’re going, ‘Oh, yeah, they’re kid has dyscalculia.’ What do they say? Kara: Even before what they say, it can be just hardcore avoidance behavior. They’ll say, ‘No, no, no, I just want to play basketball a little bit longer,’ or ‘No, no, no, I’ll finish my English homework first.’ Seth: So they’re avoiding math. Rejection of math. Adrienne: Yes, yes, absolutely. And I would say they’re frustrated because the kid can’t seem to remember math facts, and they’re like, gosh they’re eighth-graders and they can’t even do you know 8×7 or something like that? And I’m frustrated because we spend all this time practicing and it doesn’t even matter doesn’t, it doesn’t stick, so they’re frustrated. And then they also talk about, it’s like going on 50 First Dates, you know the movie where she keeps forgetting every day that she gets up. It’s like that. I put it into my kid. We got it. We got it. And they wake up, and it’s gone. We are kind of like ‘uh huh, yeah, we’ve heard things like that before.’ Seth: So they’re working with the kid, they know their kid gets the concept. They’ve done several problems, I see this when I practice with some of my kids, and they get to school the next day, they have their test, it looks like they’ve even mastered it, they really get it. And the next day, it’s gone, it’s vanished. It’s just a hole in the bucket so big like there’s no bottom in it, even or something. It’s just gone. Kara: I have a college student, he’s taken algebra three times, pre calc four times, he’s on calc 1 for the third time and he’s finally like, ‘I’m actually, like, I’m not going to study for 50 hours for this calc final. It feels really weird, but I actually know how to study efficiently and I understand the concepts are ready. So I don’t need to hunker down and do this crazy stuff because I actually already know it. It wasn’t teaching him everything from the ground up. It was just there a certain holes and he needed logical steps, that’s all he needed was just He said, ‘Oh, that’s why you go from there to there.’ The teacher doesn’t always explain that. Adrienne: Yeah. Yeah, I think another thing to that parents might not be aware that is happening, but I’m wearing a shirt that has five tally marks on it, there’s a phrase that we use a lot to describe does the kid understand the fiveness of 5. I’ve seriously had 9th graders before where they saw a dice pattern of 5 and she did not know that was 5. She had to count one by one that’s a huge red flag. And so even though she kept getting passed on, passed on, here she is in algebra, she can’t read the calendar, she’s counting on her fingers, it is hard. And so that’s what dyscalculia looks like. It’s they can’t do the basics even, but somehow they just keep getting passed on so parents are really frustrated by that because the school doesn’t know what to do. They just shove a calculator to them. She can do the calculator, but she had no idea what the number meant, but she had no idea what the number meant coming out on the other side. Seth: So is there a definition and if one of you would start with your definition and then the other of you can fill in the blanks if you would add anything, but is there a definition that would be useful to share right now? Adrienne: [Kara,] do you want to tackle that? She is my walking encyclopedia of learning, it’s amazing. Kara: For me, it just means that there’s no inherent meaning in the symbol. I take that definition from being dyslexic and I don’t have inherent meaning in letters. It just doesn’t mean anything to me people, will show me something and if I’m not like focused and want to read it, literally it’s just jumble on a screen. Seth: So your brain is not seeing a symbol of numbers, but are you talking about symbols like the division sign and the multiplication sign, any math symbol? Kara: When you say division sign, for most people, it’s probably like, ‘Ok, well we have a quantity and it’s going to separate it into different things, that’s why we divide. Well, for someone with dyscalculia, there’s no inherent meaning to that so they haven’t physically seen what’s going on or like tangibly done that, it’s just a little line with two dots. It could be a percentage sign, it could be a division sign it, it could just be someone doodling. You know, there’s just no inherent meaning behind it. Seth: Interesting, okay. Kara: This can be really frustrating for a teacher because for other people you can just say, ‘This is division, you do this, you divide it into these many groups, and you’re done.’ But for this kiddo, it’s like ‘What? I don’t get it.’ Adrienne: Yeah, absolutely, and I had students before where they have to specifically ask, ‘Is that a 6, or is that a 9?’ because in their mind, it’s not holding still and so it’s frustrating, or the division sign, plus sign and multiply sign all look alike because the dots are close enough that it could be a plus. So then they’re like, ‘I’m not really sure what I’m seeing here.’ I think a really good analogy for that is in reading when I’m reading, I’m sure you guys can relate to this, I see the word pencil and I can envision a pencil. Tyrannosaurus Rex, that’s the dinosaur with the little arms. But if I say the word ‘the,’ is there an image that comes to the mind? No. So it’s kind of similar on the math side. They see a quantity, but they have no image for what that is. And so that’s where the multi-sensory comes in, we’re building images that make more sense. Seth: And so that helps them build brain connections so that it makes more sense. Okay. Now, let’s move on a little bit to teachers. We have teachers watching. Say you have a teacher and they’re in the classroom, they’re trying to teach these kids, they’ve maybe never even heard of it or they don’t know much about it, and they’ve been trying these approaches that they’ve been taught in terms of how to work with kids and they’re not seeing the progress. So often one of the things that I talked about so much is the shame and I’m not saying that you know, I’d like to think all the teachers that watch don’t unintentionally shame kids, but sometimes unintentionally we’re actually doing this. Kids are our internalizing, ‘I’m bad at math. I just can’t do math,’ whatever but how does a teacher know if they haven’t been trained in this? How does a teacher know the red flags? And then what types of things do teachers who do know about it, what do they do differently from teachers who don’t so that teachers who want to learn how to serve these kids can have a couple tips for how to approach this. Did that question make sense? Adrienne: It’s a lot to tackle. Seth: You have a teacher in class, how do they identify them, and how can they improve them. Adrienne: Yeah. Absolutely. So I think some of the easiest ways to identify them is when you see a disconnect between the intellect of that student like they enjoy them they provide lots of interesting context to you know, they’re usually really good at conversation. Wouldn’t you agree our students are amazing at that right? But then you’re like there’s such a disconnect. They don’t seem to be able to communicate mathematically, and I don’t really get what’s going on. You can’t see it. These are the kids who’re habitually getting D’s and F’s on all assessments, and even though they’re doing their homework, they’re trying. So there’s something off there and that should be a red flag in my opinion. Often I think teachers feel like, ‘This kid is lazy, they’re blah blah blah.’ Seth: Maybe they’re thinking that they’re not putting in the effort. Adrienne: Exactly, but the truth is they’re putting in the effort. They’re working three times harder than the regular student to understand but it’s not working because you’re presenting it with just equations on the board. There’s a big disconnect. So what’s the easiest thing you could do? Go back into the earlier grades, look for the connections to the skill you feel that you need. So I’m going to use factoring as an example. Factoring is based on area multiplication when you’re a little kid, so go back draw on the board, if we’re doing 3 x 13, show them that you can break 13 into a 10 + 3, and then we’re going to multiply and talk to them about factoring is finding with the side lengths are of this area and build that bridge for them because they might not understand about what’s happening here. And so that’s one easy way to go back. Look what the time curriculum from the lower grades, build it up to where they are right now. And lots of pictures, if you can do a manipulative list, please do. But I realize like in high school you’re strapped for time. So a drawing is better than nothing in my opinion. What would you add to things that they can do? Kara: I love the going back, and notice how Adrienne immediately made it physical. So that’s the other thing, have toys in your classroom. I mean I was teaching a pre-calc class and we were doing maximization. So for example, you have a pizza box, and you have to maximize how much cardboard and volume, and that’s why I told the kids, ‘so when you open a pizza box, what do you see? What are the different parts that make up a pizza box.’ One of my students hadn’t seen a pizza box so I got one for that physical representation that had meaning and he could touch it and play with it. That’s great for geometry, there so many applications later and tell that if you understand how those pieces fit together is going to make calculus easier. For me, it might seem like a time suck, but it’s going to be engaging. You’re going to get the whole class engaged. Who doesn’t want to play with a pizza box? Especially if there’s pizza in it, little things like that. Maybe some of those kids didn’t need it that in-depth, but they’re still going to have fun, even if they’re not needing that you know, how can I bring up the content level? Adrienne: Absolutely, even the kids who are really advanced, I find that they struggle with understanding where it came from. They’re good at memorization and procedure. So even if you spend the time to go back to the concrete of how this works, they’re going to learn a lot as well and deepen their own understanding of math. Seth: Okay, we’re going to wrap this up in like 2 minutes. So we discuss some things teachers can do and I guess, I want to make real clear for my audience that you know, your kids in the class, doesn’t matter if they’re in 4th grade or 12th grade or what, they can have dyscalculia. So whatever percentage there is, and 3rd grade you’re going to have the same percentages as older kids. Often times, the older kids will not be identified and they will be way further down the line in terms if they have compensated so much, work way longer than they need to be, whatever. But you have a parent, they’re listening. They’re like, ‘oh this is kind of bad.’ What can they do? Should they go get a tutor? Should they go get any old tutor? Should they go get a tutoring program or a private tutor? So they check out your thing on April 4th, you’re having the webinar on it, should they research it, should they not take more math class, should they push their get into an easier class. What kind of thoughts should parents be having? Adrienne: Yes, so I would say one thing I’m going to caution you against is that any old tutoring isn’t going to work. You know, the big box tutoring people out there, franchises or whatever are just a waste of money because it’s more of the same. It’s exactly what they’re experiencing at school, and obviously, that’s the definition of insanity right. We’re doing more of the same but expecting different results. It’s not going to work. Seth: A lot of what I talk about is cookie-cutter interventions that don’t work. Adrienne: Right, so you’re going to want to look for a tutor/therapist that has background in this. Kara’s an educational therapist, she has training in making math real. I have training in multi-sensor math through Marilyn Zecher. The methods are similar, but there’s a little bit of differences but overall we both get results for our kids. Seth: So call the tutor on the phone and say, ‘do you understand dyscalculia and where are you coming from exactly?” Kara: Right, and ‘why do you teach differently,’ because someone can say, ‘yeah, I’ve worked with a kid with dyscalculia,’ but do they understand it. Because that’s going to tell you a lot because they might be doing the same thing they’re doing in school. Seth: Don’t just take it at face value. Adrienne: Be a little skeptical about it, look for that. Another method you could look around for someone that has bood in math. That’s another phrase for a guy who’s doing multi-sensory, but you don’t even have to choose to work with us, but if you want some help pointed in the right direction, make sure you come to our webinar, we would love to help you. Send us an email. We know people, we’re connected we can help you figure that out. So definitely don’t settle for just more of the same, that is our biggest advice there. Seth: And then what advice do you have for them? And that this is something we could spend a whole session I’m sure when they are trying. When they’re trying to advocate with the school and I hear this a lot that the school doesn’t get it. They may make some lip service but nothing is changing. So what should they say to the school? We can do a whole another one of them. Adrienne: Yeah we really could! You know, try to really work with the school. There’s been a few crazy situations Kara and I’ve been able to work out, because we are who we are. Sometimes we’re able to work it out. Kara’s working with someone right now where she is the lead teacher. She’s teaching this student Algebra 2. I’ve done that before as well where I’ve been teaching this 7th grader all the seventh-grade math, and the school was on board. They wanted to help, they realize that they lack the resources, right? So it’s difficult to get there but it’s worth the effort. It takes a lot of back and forth. But you can advocate for that. You can ask for a period where they go online to meet with us or maybe send a teacher through some training or something like that and get the kids the help they need. You’d be surprised schools, are more willing than you think. You just have to go in there with an open mind and not being threatened or highly emotional. Seth: Yeah, and hopefully they’ll be receptive and hopefully they can go in there armed with the knowledge. Hopefully from this right now or your webinar from the research on it. So we have to wrap up today any final. Adrienne: No, I just hope you can come join us. We just skimmed the surface. There’s so much more we can share. So come to our webinar in April, I’ll make sure Seth has the right link. We’ll go a little deeper for you and really help you get a vision of what’s really needed to turn the ship around. Seth: All right, thank you guys so much. This is Kara Scanlon and Adrian Meldrum and you find both of them online, again my name is Seth Perler, I’m an executive function coach out of Boulder, CO, and we will see you soon. Thank you guys so much. Please CLICK below to share.

HOW to handle work over THANKSGIVING break

ps- If you liked this, please click above to SHARE and be sure to subscribe to my blog! There are some VERy predictable problems associated with Thanksgiving Break. This video goes into it in a few steps: 1. Understand the problem: What is PEPR? Understand that many students are inaccurate and unrealistic with knowing what needs to be done. Ineffective strategies to do what needs to be done. 2. Do not take your child’s information at face value. Get clarity through the portal and emailing teachers for clarity. 3. Do a system overhaul over break. 4. Chunk times the right way. 5. Be present for quality time. No stressful school talk at random times. 6. Enjoy the time with the family. ps- If you liked this, please click below to SHARE and be sure to subscribe to my blog!

7 Summer School Tips

Please CLICK above to share. The old patterns HAVE NOT CHANGED. Still unrealistic with the time/energy needed to manage the work. Plus distractions of summer! Don’t believe the story, the nervous system is simply resistant, so what to do about it? Don’t enable, learned helplessness. Set firm, clear boundaries. The same principles work. Do this:
  1. Frontload everything you can, it makes things easier.
  2. Keep using the planners to track details, not your brain.
  3. Block reasonable focus times. Not daily tiny blocks, they don’t work.
  4. Ask the teacher for help/tips to success, be early, connect.
  5. Reorganize regularly.
  6. Check portal often, easy link.
  7. Persist. 1%. Millimeters. Baby step. Bite-sized. It’s about telling the nervous system that there is no reason to be overwhelmed. It’s about quieting emotional resistance.

Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

Re7 summer school tips, if you’re a parent and you have middle school or high school or who is in summer school, you’re going to want to listen to this and if you are a student in summer school, pretty cool that you’re listening to this. All right, here is the first thing I am going to give you $0.07. But let me give you a little bit of background about this if your child is in summer school. Listen. The pattern has not changed parents don’t just believe that if the pattern has changed the pattern is going to be exactly the same if your child got behind during the school year if they spend a semester swimming Upstream because they’re behind on their work if they’re stressed out about their work or they avoid their work and if there tend to be unrealistic about the amount of time and energy that’s required in order to get them what needs to be done. This has not changed. Okay, just another in summer school just because they’re saying look Mom looked at I got it leave me alone. Get off my back. I’m doing my work. I promise you I swear I’m doing everything I need to be doing look that fact is there if they weren’t realistic during the school year what makes you think they’re going to be realistic now, so you students if you’re watching this what makes you think you’re going to be realistic now, this is not a put-down any any way shape or form its to say be realistic and get your stuff done get done with this class be done with it and do it. Well, okay. So this has not changed since it has not changed since the pattern is the same you have to work with a pattern. You have to live in the solution not live in the problem. So now one of the problems is that they’re just our summertime distractions. It is hard to be able to do anything during the summer because it is so nice outside people want to get outside and do stuff. So that’s something right there 2nd and with another thing to think about is that your child is living in a story and they’re going to tell you the stories know I got to leave me alone. I promise I swear I’m getting everything done. I’m on top of it. Just stop bugging me. Okay, all that is is it they’re nervous system feeling resistance. They don’t feel like doing what needs to be done. It’s not fun. It’s not a preferable activity so that the nervous system has that resistance and the Brain just sometimes can’t override the nervous system the part of the brain that has the truth. Story that says all I got a buckle down I got to spend time on the it’s just not coming through. So don’t trust that story. There’s no reason to believe it’s any different if that’s how it was during the school year again is not a put-down. You just got to be realistic if you want to be able to help your kid. So what you don’t want to do is you don’t want to enable your child and you don’t want to teach your child learned helplessness. You want to set firm clear boundaries and help them get through this thing for their own long-term well-being, even though in the short-term they want to be outside playing or playing video games or whatever it is. So here we got this is seven things. These are the seven things to do at the exact same principles that ate each during the school year. These are seven things you can do right now if your child is in summer school one front load everything your child from school take the syllabus sit down with your child. If you’re the student look at your syllabus front load everything into your planner or your online calendar or your agenda get it all out there go through and see what you have to do in. Is it in your calendar so that it’s there and you only get one from you can get a feel for what you have to do during the entire semester front load front load problem. Number one is to front load that is to get repaired. Now, you don’t only front load with the planner. You also front load by prepping your folders and it was summertime. You might think I don’t need folders. I don’t need as much organization. This is not true. Do not listen to your story. When you think that you absolutely positively need some level of organization during the summer. You need to stay good study places great place to study and that’s where it’s quiet or you can focus you need to organize folders is the number one wants to front load number two with the planner you’re going to front of the planner, but your child has to use a planner during the summer to or calendar or an agenda or some sort of system to remind them of what needs to be done. You do if you’re the student you do not want to depend on this to remember the details. There is no reason ever to depend on your brain to remember That’s what they’ve done is for. I know I know I know you resisted. You don’t feel like using calendar. You think you got it up here. You really don’t need it. You’re different know you’re not be honest with yourself. You got to use the plan or even during summer. You have to track these things. If you don’t get them done in the same pattern, it’s going to happen to me in the last week of summer school near me swimming Upstream trying to finish 17 assignments that you should have done a long time ago. Everybody’s going to be stressed out. So use the plan or even during the summer number three. I want you to block out time to study that are large blocks do not think that you were going to read one chapter a day. Do not think that you’re going to do one page of homework a day. It’s ridiculous. If you’re not that type of person during the school year what makes you think that you’re going to be the type of person during the summer is going to do a little bit everyday. What I suggest you do is go to your summer school classes and block out large blocks of time. So you’re going to block out anywhere from 1 to 3 hours then give me a chill time where your wheel a Sitting at the kitchen table. Ask whatever focusing on your work with no distractions. You want to block out large box Time often times people will tell you just do a little bit each day. Just read a chapter. They just do work no for you for the students. I work with for students who struggle with executive function. It does not work. You will be swimming Upstream at the end and you’ll be a very stressed out if you do it that way so large blocks every other day or whatever for a few days weeks and that’s when you’re going to focus on large quantities of work. That’s what works with my students have been doing this long time trusting number or connect with your teacher get to know that have a developer of a friendly relationship with them find out who they are and ask them hate each. What can I do to be successful in your class? What are your secrets? What tips you have? They will tell you you is one of the biggest things I teach my students. You just need to build this relationship and be early to class B on time. Stay late a couple minutes. Say hi to hey, thanks. Hope you’re having a great day. See you later. Connect a little bit helps that goes a long way number 5 reorganize your stuff regularly. Don’t just Jammin in your bag or your backpack or whatever reorganize all your papers and stuff right now to get rid of what you don’t need. You have to spend time doing this. It doesn’t happen. If the parents feel free to help your child with the organization. Let them worry about the learning during summer right now. If you want to help them for the organization of their papers on a daily or every other day basis that’s totally fine. You’re not enabling them. He’ll have them be focusing on the work. If you want to have some of the organization and planning that’s totally fine number 6 check the portal if your online class if your class has an online portal be checking it regularly why because people don’t check it and then they open up one day and they find out that there are 15 things missing there a bunch of incomplete there bunch of zeros. So if it has a portal Bookmark at make it very very very easy to find and check it. And finally number 7. Persist do the one percent right talk about the 1% rule just didn’t mind it gets resistant because it gets overwhelmed with and how I’m stract all the work. It’s okay. So you have to work with the mind. This is an emotional issue. You have to tell your emotional stuff. You have to tell your nervous system that you are safe believe it or not. This is what you’re contending with his is the nervous system the brain and a sense of safety. Okay. So you want to work with the emotion in the way that you do that you take this big giant massive stuff all I don’t feel like doing that homework. It feels too big and you have to shrink it down for 6% number seven is be persistent go 1% at a time. Not 50% about 100% just do one little percent more than you normally would have moved 1 mm for ra take the baby stuff makeup bite-sized a journey of a Thousand Miles begins with one step. How do you eat an elephant one bite at a time you the brain has to be able to construct. Flight the work and if you’re sitting there saying I’ll I don’t feel like doing this what you probably are. You have to make it not feel so daunting make it feel smaller. Okay, I can do three problems right now. Okay, I can work for 5 minutes right now. Maybe not an hour with me 5 minutes, even though you might intend to work an hour or 3 hours. You got to get started the brain have to perceive it as a small bites that may seem contradictory with what I said before about the Wang Chung. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m speaking specifically about getting started for sister. Sister said you will get off task. What do you do then? Get back on task restart when you get off it again restart again, when you get off track again restart again, millimeters, baby steps 1% bite-size very small steps is how you get started so that you’re not so wrong. You can get the train rolling. Once you get the train, will you go as far as you can then you’ll get off that then come back. This is the reality people if you were some of the struggles with executive function don’t expect to be someone who does Start with executive function executing is not easy when it’s a non-preferred tasks. So you’re going to have to start and restart and restart and you will get us and don’t worry about getting with the 1% rule to don’t worry about getting a worry about getting a c worry about getting done. Okay often times when you think of it that way it’s way easier to get in there be anyway so with that I hope you are having a great relaxing summer if you’re in summer school. I hope that you can block it out in such a way that you can have as much stress free relaxation and fun time as possible while blocking out your focus times and in doing those and getting done with them so you can get on to the fun time. All right guys. Take care. I’ll see you soon.

P.E.P.R.: How to help your child with LONG TERM assignments

The end of the school year is a time when a lot of students struggle to manage the overwhelming amount of work they need to do. It’s incredibly important to understand the role of PEPR assignments so you can help your child navigate this time. If you like this vlog, please CLICK a share button. Thanks! Seth

SPRING BREAK. Do this. 7 easy things.

Please CLICK above to share. Hey parents (teachers, you might like this one too), Here’s a quick video I made to break down some of the things you might want to keep in mind as your child enters spring break. As we know, this is an interesting time of year because the end of the year comes up QUICK, and it’s easy for students to fall further behind. When kids get too far behind and they can’t recover from it, they have to retake classes and deal with other consequences. This video should help!
Love my work and want to give? Click here! To support me, please CLICK at the bottom to share. Click here to visit my official YouTube Channel & subscribe if you want! Thank you — Seth
Reading the transcript? Great! We’re currently uploading hundreds of transcripts so you can read them asap, but they are NOT all edited yet. This is a big process. If you notice anything wrong and want to help us, feel free to click this Google Form to share it. Thanks so much for pitching in! – Seth

Video transcript:

What’s up, everybody? I’m a little bit thick hair. But spring break is right around the corner again. I got 7 ideas for you. That’ll help your child. Number one understand that they do need a break and they have been going all school year. They legitimately need some time off. I need time to not think about school to really be free to really let loose really relaxed really decompressed really gather themselves again, and to be ready for the final push the school year. Now the final push the school year is pretty hard because usually in April and May there really aren’t any 3 or 4 day weekends or any breaks or anything. It’s a very strong push for most kids. So like I said that you really need this break bad to don’t talk with your kid about school during spring break, except you have to talk to your kids about school over spring break, but don’t just randomly bring it up. All the time is what I’m trying to say, like really intentionally think about when you’re going to talk about it and I do want you to have a heart-to-heart with them. I want you to sit down with them talk about school talk about life like have a time where you really honor it talk it. The final push of the school year, but then when it’s done be done. Okay, if you guys have to work on school stuff during break you no talk about it then but don’t let it linger and and be sprinkled all throughout break. Let them have break let them know when you’re going to have a heavy talk about school and then when it’s done, let it be done and then when you revisit it and give them a warning so that they know it’s coming. So the intention is really that they’re mine can be free. Also the emotional aspect as I always say is so so so important 3 understand the pattern and you got understand how it spring break factors into it in the spring semester students to start with executive function start off the semester strong usually and then a few weeks then things start to fall apart, but it’s hard to see until between week 6 and weeks 8 and then usually something happens when parents realized only. Oh my gosh things are falling apart and then you spend the rest of the semester trying to swim upstream your child’s trying to dig themselves that holes trying to put out fires and trying to catch up on Makeup were trying to manage their current work trying to do their final projects test papers and reading assignments. And then the end of the semester comes up so fast and what did the pattern of course there are consequences in this case when the school year’s over if your child fails classes, they will have to either take summer school or do retakes in the fall or whatever the consequences are but the consequences are not pretty and one of the problems is that kids who struggle with executive function are not realistic about the time and energy that is required in order for them to manage what they have to do for the rest of the semester. Now this is complicated in spring because motivation tanks because of spring fever the weather gets nice all the kids get out this giant burst of energy and they’re even less motivated to to do the school work. Plus they have their normal workload. Plus they have their swimming Upstream workload makeup work. Plus they have their upcoming giant papers exams reading assignments and projects. So with that decrease motivation be this is all they have to manage number for Understand that your child probably won’t get anything done during spring break it is so interesting how we myself included. We think though this is a break your child think so I’ll get caught up on all this work or you think on my child’s going to get caught up on others for the reality of the situation is that is very rare for people to get much done during spring break 5, your child probably does have a lot of makeup work to do and probably a lot of current work to do and prep work to do for the upcoming stuff. So if you are planning on having your child work over break if that’s really the best thing for them. You want to plan it and large chunks of time. You don’t want them to do a little bit every day, please don’t do that. That is not right thing to do a half hour everyday. They’re not even getting anything done in half hour the Burl even getting started. They have to get into the study mode. So I recommend choosing couple days where you choose the two to three-hour large block of time for them to really work on stuff and along with that. I really recommend that you plan your own work with them so Yuko work with During that time so you can work on your own stop your taxes your bills or whatever projects you have going 6 and this point you probably want to email the teachers and say hey what’s coming down the pike? I want to get clarity. Do we have any papers? We have any projects. We have any large reading assignments. Do we have any exams coming up? Is there going to be a rubric? Is there going to be a study guide etcetera? You want to get clarity from the teachers what’s coming up? Because chances are your child is not going to have the clarity you need finally number 7 stay on it. This is the final stretch do not give up your child is going to send you leave me alone. I got this stop bugging me you’re annoying whatever your child says to you to get you to leave him alone. You can leave them alone sometimes but you have to stay on top of the stay on top of looking at their grades down top of getting Clarity from the teacher stay on top of whatever you need to even though they’re going to be resisting your house. Going to want your help. You need to stay on top of this because the consequences are big With that I do. Hope you have a restful awesome fun spring break where you can really enjoy quality time with your child, and I will see you soon. Remember if you like this video, please subscribe on YouTube. Give it a thumbs up, and please share my work with somebody. Have a great day.

STUDENTS: Do THIS to save your semester (video)

Shakespeare Quote It’s crunch time again and you want to pass all your classes. Here’s how:
  1. Be honest with yourself and others. Own it. Excuses.
  2. Print your grades (the pages WITH the details)
  3. Email your teachers with honesty and integrity
  4. Go to office hours
  5. Overhaul your materials
  6. Update your planner
  7. Make a SANE master plan
  8. Get accountability
  9. Start (sss, timers, plans)
  10. Start again
  11. Umm, now start again
  12. Repeat each weekend
  13. Be proactive with finals, projects, readings and papers
Do it NOW! Good luck, Seth
💚 Give: Love my work and want to donate? 🎦 YouTube: Visit my official YouTube channel here. Please subscribe, like & comment to support my work. 👉 Share: To support me, please *CLICK* at the bottom to share on FB or Pinterest. ✏️ EF101: Here’s my jumpstart course for parents and teachers. 🙏 Thanks! — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey students. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Look, if you want to get your F’s to A’s, if you want to raise your grades, if you want to finish the semester on a strong note, if you’re a middle school or a high school or a college student and you got a bunch of F’s, listen. Today is November 12th, and you got a bunch of F’s and you want to get A’s, chances are you’re not going to get A’s. But you can get these D’s or C’s or B’s and sometimes you actually can pull it off and get it A’s. So I’m going to tell you 13 things to do to turn it around right now, the end of the semester is right around the corner. Okay. Basically, it’s November in a couple of weeks. You have Thanksgiving break, so you’re not even going to be in school, and in two weeks in December you’re done with the semester and it’s over. What tends to happen is that a lot of students who struggle with Executive Function things, they get very unrealistic like, “Oh I got this, I’ll figure it out,” and they procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate. The next thing, you know, you got a few F’s, you have to retake classes, you have to do something annoying because you put yourself in a position where you got F’s and you think that you’re going to be able to pull it off but you’re not actually taking the actions. So if you are one of those people and you’re being honest with yourself and you’re like, “You know what, I really do kind of struggle with this stuff. I really am kind of disorganized. I forget stuff. I lie to my parents. I lie to myself. You know, I just really don’t put a lot of time into studying and it’s really not working,” and if you actually want to change that, listen to this video. I’m going to tell you 13 things. Here we go right now. Number 1: Be honest with yourself. Just be honest with yourself and own it. It’s okay. Stop making excuses. Just say to your parents, “Hey guys. Guess what? I’m failing four classes,” or whatever the case, is just like “I’m sorry, but I’m working on it and I need some help and I know that I pushed you away and I tell you to leave me alone and trust me. I’ve got this and stuff, but I don’t. I need help. So, can you help me like this? Can you help me like that? Can you hold me accountable,” whatever. So the number one step is to be honest with yourself. Look, there’s no shame in this. Stop lying to yourself. What we do is we get stressed out and we do not like being stressed out. So what happens is we become what’s called avoidant. If you’re a middle school, high school, or college student who’s getting all these bad grades, what happens is that you tend to become avoidant, which means that when the stress starts coming most of you push it away. You say “I don’t even think about it. I’m going to procrastinate I’ll get to it later. Let’s go play some more video games. Let’s go hang out with my friends. Let’s go this that do this that or the other, but let’s not address the problem. I’ll get to it later.” Okay. So be honest with yourself. When your parents are bugging you and they’re like, “Why didn’t you do this? And when are you going to do that?” and just be honest with them. You can say, “I don’t know,” or you can say, “Well I intend to do it later today, but I may not because,” whatever it is doesn’t matter, just be honest with yourself and with them. Don’t get defensive. Don’t be like, “oh leave me alone.” Be like, “you’re right. You’re right. Okay, I’m working on it.” Maybe you can let your parents help you and stuff like that. So number one, be honest about the situation. Number 2: Now what I want you to do is go to your computer, open up your grade program, go to the part of the grade program where it shows the details of the class. I don’t care about the grade in your class. I don’t care if you have a 47%, a 67%, or 99%. Go to the pages that show the details of the classes that show each individual assignment. Click print, print it up. And then I want you to take your handy-dandy highlighter and highlight all the things that you want to address. Usually, they’re missings, incompletes, or scores that are really low where you’re able to do corrections or do something to raise the score. I don’t care about anything else. Highlight only the things that may possibly be actionable items. Number two, print your grades and start to deal with those. Number 3: Email your teachers with honesty and integrity. What that means is you write a very short email, don’t get overwhelmed because I’m telling you to do this. Don’t be like, “oh I don’t feel like writing an email,” just write the stupid email. Okay, trust me, please. I’ve done this a lot with a lot of students because it works. A little short email to your teacher: “Hey, Miss Smith. What’s up? I hope you having a good weekend. Look, I’m failing your class and I need some help, do any suggestions for me?” Boom. Click send. The reason you want to email your teachers, there are a few reasons and a few benefits, and all of who are watching this video right now are probably resistant like, “Oh, I don’t need to email them. I’m going to go see him tomorrow and office hours. I’ll see him Thursday. I’ll talk to them, I promise I’m going to talk to him. I’ll go to them at the beginning of class, I’ll go to them at the end of the class,” you know what, you’re lying to yourself. Why am I saying that and I don’t even know you? Because I work with hundreds of students that say the same thing, and the fact is that when they don’t create a system for holding themselves accountable, they forget but they don’t mean to forget. They fully intend to go see the teacher but they forget. So you want to hold yourself accountable, you want to hold yourself to a higher standard. You want to make sure you cover your bases and get your butt in to see that teacher. So you’re going to say “Hey, what’s up. I’m failing class and need a little bit of help. Can you give me any suggestions,” and you want to ask, “Can I come into office hours?” and you want to be specific, “Can I come see you tomorrow at 3 pm for a couple of minutes and make a plan,” or whatever. Ask them for something specific, okay. Next, after you email them with honesty and integrity and you’re just like honest with them and you’re like, “This where I’m at. Sorry, but I need help,” and don’t be ashamed of it. Number 4: After you email them, you do want to now go in to see them during office hours or the beginning class or the end of class, or whatever. You want to be present in-person with them. Writing that email and going to see them shows them through your actions, not your intentions, but through your actions that you care about your grade. When you go to them and you quote ‘ask for help,’ and you are humble and you go with integrity and you’re honest teachers respond positively. Of course, I know a lot of you were here saying, “Yeah, but you don’t understand! My teacher hates me,” or whatever. You know what, I don’t care if you feel that way or not. Honestly just go in and do it anyway because this is not about your teacher. This is about you and your life and your results. I don’t want you to be repeating a class. I don’t want you to be the one dealing with the consequences of the F. The teacher goes on with their life, they’re not getting the F. So this is about you, even if you feel like they don’t like you or they won’t listen to you, or whatever. Just trust me and do it. Anyway, what’s the worst that can happen? So you’ve done the first steps. Number 5: Now, you’re going to overhaul your materials. I want you to take every single thing that has to do with school, put it on the middle of the floor in the living room, spread it all out, and go through it. Every paper, every book, every sticky note, every gum wrapper, every everything. Bring everything over from your locker or your desk, bring everything from your desk in your bedroom. Put it all out in one place and make sense of it. Ask your parents or brother or sister or friend or a relative or somebody to hang out with you for a little bit and make sense of it. Get someone who’s really organized because they’re good at that stuff. Okay, and what you want to do if you want to start making piles. One pile is probably your favorite pile, it’s the recycle pile. Get a pile of everything you never need to look at again. Then, make a pile for things that need to be addressed and things that need to be dealt with. Make a pile for things that you need to put back in the folders, and so on and so forth,  just get everything organized. So that’s the next thing is to overhaul everything. Now when you overhaul everything, the most important aspect of your overhauling all your papers and stuff is to make a pile of the things that must be dealt with that are called ‘urgent.’ Your most urgent items should be in a very accessible, visible place. So the things that are urgent, put them in an inbox put them in your planner on the front page your planner, put them in a queue folder if you watch my queue folder videos, whatever it is. Okay, I want you to get the most urgent things in your face so that you have to see them and you have to deal with them. Number 6: Next, update your planner thoroughly. I like to get students rip out every page from the past, okay. Today is November 12th, get rid of everything from the earlier in the school year. Get rid of all of it. Your planner will become a lot lighter in a lot more manageable. And for this week, you only have to worry about through December 15th, roughly for all of you. Write every detail you can that you need to do this week. Get everything in that planner. Look at your grade sheets, the ones that you just printed. Write those things in your planner when you’re going to do them, write reminders on when to turn them in, make sticky notes, I don’t care what you do, but get details in your planner. Get very granular. Very very very very very detailed with your planner, ask an organized person to help you get the things into your planner. Be humble and honest about it. I know you’re going to resist and be like, “I don’t feel like it. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it Wednesday blah blah.” Look just do it. Today, Sunday, spend a couple of hours tonight. Tell your friends not to bug you. Turn off your technology, any distractions, put the dog outside, whatever. You need to do this to make your life easier. Okay, so get started tonight. Number 7: Make a sane master plan. The master plan is different than the planner. The master plan is kind of like where you’re going to take something like this (a sheet of lined paper), and just list out all of the things that need to be done. And then you’re going to put a number by them in the order that you want to do them. So maybe number one is down here, and number two is right here, number three here, and number four up here. You want to get everything on one master plan and then start crossing it out as you finish them. Then you need to decide what order you’re going to do the things in the master plan. What I usually say to people is, ‘do you want to start with the easiest first, the hardest first, the shortest first, the longest first, or the most important first,’ and then you can kind of decide your style. People have different styles and you know, your parents might say, “Oh you should do the most important first,” well that might not be your style, or that might be your style. Or your parents might say they always used to do the easiest first because it’ll get the ball rolling. Your friends might say, oh you should do the hardest first. People have different opinions. Look for your style and do what works for you, but you do want to have some coating for the biggest priorities for sure. So, make your master plan that is sane. So meaning, you’re not going to do everything on the master plan also, you need to know this. You need to be honest with yourself. Let’s say if you have 30 assignments that you need to get turned in before the end of the semester. If you do 10, that might be a success. If you do 23, that might be a success. It’s not likely because I would work with students all the time, it’s not likely that you’re actually going to do all of them. So just be careful how you prioritize and do what you need to do so that you’re passing. Don’t worry about the beginning of the video when I was talking about F’s to A’s. Don’t worry about the A’s, just worried about getting yourself out of the hole. You got to be realistic with yourself at this point. Number 8: Get accountability. That means to get a friend or family member or a parent, get somebody to hold you accountable. In other words, if you say, “I will do these three assignments today,” you tell somebody and you say, “if I don’t do these three assignments today, I’m going to give you a hundred bucks.” No, you don’t have to do any of that. But you do want to say “Hey, will you help me stay accountable. I’m making a commitment that I’m going to do these three things today. Will you check on me and see that?” You’re asking for support. That’s what accountability is. Say to your parents, “look I’m going to finish these homework assignments by 5 pm. Will you help make sure I do that and help me stay accountable?” Why do you want accountability? Because we often can’t depend on ourselves to hold ourselves accountable, so we ask others to help us with that. So get someone to help us be accountable for that. I’m going to help you be kind of bowl anybody. Number 9: Get started on the master plan. Now in order to start on your master plan, you have to have a concrete idea of what you’re going to do. If you have an abstract idea of what you’re going to do, you’re stressed out, you’re going to be avoidant, and you’re going to procrastinate. Give a concrete idea of what you’re going to do, meaning if you have a good plan and if you use a digital timer to help you get started are two things that help make it concrete and help you get started. So our next thing is to get started. Getting started is the hardest part. That’s half the battle. That’s 90% of the battle is just getting started. Now, you also have to have in order to get started is a SSS, a sacred study space, a good place to focus that is free of distraction and maximized for focus. If you don’t have a good place to study you better do that first thing. So you need a sacred study space, a great place to study and focus on your stuff that’s free of distractions. I recommend using timers and you need a concrete plan of what you’re going to do. Number 10: Next thing, after number 10, after you start. The next thing to do is start again. People, start again. Why? Because you will get sidetracked. You will get distracted. You will forget what you were doing. You will daydream, you will go into la-la land. Well guess what, get started again. Number 11: After you get started again, get started again because you’re going to get off track again. And I’m going to keep saying this. Get started again, get started again, get started again. Don’t imagine that you’re going to sit there for 3 hours and crank out 5 Math assignments. It’s not going to happen. It never happens. Okay, be honest with yourself. Go back to number one. Be honest with yourself. So not if, but when, you get sidetracked and distracted and procrastinate-y, start again. Then start again. Then start again. What happens is a lot of people don’t start again, and then they go further and further and further behind. Number 12: Repeat this exact process next weekend and the next weekend and the next weekend. Repeat the process every weekend. Go through this video, watch it again, hit pause every time I tell you to do something and do it and go through it every weekend. If you do this, you will be passing your classes, I guarantee it. Step 13: The final step. Be proactive with what’s coming on in the last week of school. The last week before winter break, you’re going to have exams, papers, projects, and reading assignments that must be done. Those are four things. You do not want to wait until the night before to study for your finals, to do massive reading assignments, to finish your projects, or to write papers. So a lot of people, myself included, really struggled with being proactive and they wait until the last minute and then they dig a huge hole for themselves. And one of two things happens, either they who they work really hard and they pull it off, and sometimes even pulled off and do well. Most of the time they pull it off and get a C or D or whatever, and it’s just not high-quality work and it doesn’t represent what you’re capable of and you lost the opportunity to learn something and to grow from it, or they avoid it altogether. The pressure is too high. They say, “I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I promise I’ll do it. I promise I’ll do it.” They avoid avoid avoid avoid and all of a sudden, the last day of the semester comes, those things weren’t done and end up failing. So those are the two things that happen. You want to be proactive, meaning when you get these assignments with these study guides or these rubrics or whatever, you want to get started on it early. Okay, and get it in your planner. So those are 13 things going to go over those real quick.
  1. Be honest with yourselves and with others. Get rid of the excuses, own it. Say, “Hey, here’s where I’m at. I’m struggling and need some help. Honestly, this is where I’m at.
  2. Print your grades.
  3. Email your teachers with honesty and integrity.
  4. Go to their office hours and talk to the human being and say, “Hey, I need help. I want to pass your class.
  5. Overhaul your materials. Your backpacks, your paper, your folders and all that.
  6. Update your planner completely.
  7. Make a sane master plan with all the details, knowing that you’re not going to get through all of them, but put them all there anyway and just organize them in such a way that it’s saying that you’re prioritizing them.
  8. Get accountability from somebody.
  9. Get started
  10. Start again.
  11. Start again.
  12. Repeat this process each weekend.
  13. When the last week comes, don’t get started on your things then. Be proactive for the papers, projects, exams, and reading assignments that come up. On the last week be proactive about them and start them early.
That’s it. Now, do it. You can re-watch this video. You can click pause and get these steps done, but get started now. Do this. I am telling you this, so I work with this to all these different students, and I’m telling you this because this is your life. What you do here today in your life is going to help set you up for a great future, or a struggling future. And I want, your parents want, your teachers want, people who really care about you want, your real friends want for you to have a fantastic future, not a mediocre future. Not an okay future. Not an okay life. We want you to have choices and freedom, your parents when you have a better life than they had. Even if they make mistake their human, blah blah blah. Don’t worry about it. We want you to be happy, that’s the point of all this. Education should be providing you with this, of course, there are problems with it, but I want you to finish the semester strong. So let’s do this now. Good luck to you. If you like this video share it with a friend right now. clicks Send it off to someone that you care about, a friend of yours who could use this if you know anybody who could benefit from it, but either way, go get started, do it. Do it. Go do this, get started, do it now. Good luck to you. Have a great November and December so you can set yourself up for an incredible winter break. I’ll see you soon. Please CLICK below to share.

“He loses most worksheets, project rubrics, classwork, etc!”

A mom writes about her son:
He’s 13, in 8th grade. He loses most worksheets, project rubrics, classwork, etc! He has a binder with sections for each class, some things make it in, and many others don’t. When they do make it home, I make copies of important stuff that he needs for fear of them being lost. He doesn’t know where the lost things go, help! He is missing an important worksheet due tomorrow and words/definitions they did in class that he needs to study for a test. How do we prevent him from losing so many papers? What systems work/don’t work for you? Is this something I should be punishing him for or no? It’s so frustrating!!

🎦 YouTube: Visit my official YouTube channel here. Subscribe, like & comment to support my work. 👉 Share: To support me, please *CLICK* at the bottom to share on FB or Pinterest. ✏️ EF101: Here’s my jumpstart course for parents and teachers. 💚 Give: Love my work and want to donate? 🙏 Thanks! — Seth

Video transcript:

Hey everybody what’s up? This is Seth with SethPerler.com. I hope you’re having a great start to the school year. I have an awesome question from Christie. She says her son is 13, he’s in eighth grade. “He loses most worksheets, project rubrics, classwork, etc. He has a binder with sections for each class, somethings make it in and many others don’t. When they do make it home, I make copies of the important stuff for the fear of them being lost. He doesn’t know where the lost things go. Help! He’s missing an important worksheet that’s due tomorrow of words, definitions, things they did in class that he needs to study for a test. How do we prevent him from losing so many papers? What systems work or don’t work for you? Is this something that I should be punishing him for or no? It’s so frustrating.” I hear your frustration. This is a really difficult and complicated issue and there’s a lot of aspects to it. I’ll try to cover some of that and hopefully give you some guidance and solutions that might work for you. So he’s 13 and he’s in eighth grade. Obviously, next year in 9th-grade things are going to get even more intense. So taking this very seriously this year is really important, and one of the things I want to mention about that is because you’re not going to be able to make copies forever. You’re going to get even more papers next year. So one of the things that I want to mention about getting this done this year is doing the weekly overhaul. It sounds like you’re very involved and that’s awesome. The weekly overhaul on my blog I send out to everyone is covered in my mini-course, I just resent it out everybody actually, but on the weekly overhaul, what I recommend is if Sunday night’s work for you, is that every Sunday night you go over all the systems and sort of to reset like you would do on your telephone, but you’re doing a reset of the folders and the planner and everything. And on that reset night, on that Sunday night or whatever time you choose to do that with your child, you go over everything, you go through everything with a fine-tooth comb. So when I’m working with clients, I’m doing this at least on a weekly basis. I’m going through every single pocket in the backpack. I have them bring everything home from school. I don’t want anything in the locker or in the school desk, whichever one they have depending on what age they are and what the school is like. I want everything with us so that we can go through everything with a fine-tooth comb because they don’t track details well, so they need to be supported. Especially if they’re going to get a dinged by the school for not having stuff. You really need to make sure they have it, but you also want to teach them to have that system. So anyhow part of what I would do this whole eighth grade year is do a Sunday overhaul, but it sounds like you’re already doing a lot of that. But that’s something I would keep doing the entire school year. You want to do what’s called a gradual release of responsibility, which means that week by week, month by month, you’re getting your child to take more responsibility for the process of getting organized. Of course, your child needs to spend a lot of time just doing the homework and studying right now and probably doing makeup work, unfortunately, but as the year goes on you want them to take more of the responsibility of getting it organized. So, “he has a binder with sections for each class. Somethings make it in but many other things don’t.” If he’s not required to use binders by the school,  don’t like binders that all, I like simple folders. Now for a kid like that who loses tons of stuff, I would probably just go with literally the folding folders that don’t even have pockets. One-color for each class, so a blue one, red one, green one, yellow one, orange one, whatever. And I would probably give them a zip binder that those can go in. And at this point I would just want my child to get it in that thing, just get the papers in the backpack. I’m not so concerned about the folders. When they get home you can help them reorganize the folders everyday for a while, if you can do that. I mean this kid really is starting from ground zero. They really need to be starting from a place assuming that they really don’t know how to do this and build from there. So simple, simple, simple system. I would not use a binder. It’s just too tedious for your child to use. So I would cancel the binder and get some simple folders. You could do the pocket folders, either one is fine. But simple folders. And for this kiddo. I would use a ‘Queue folder’. If you look at my blog and look up the word queue in the blog search and watch the video about the queue. The queue is just sort of a catch-all place because if I was working with your kid, I would tell them, “Look, either get the papers in the right folder or at the very least jam them into the queue and we’ll deal with them after school.” So at least if they’re not putting the wrong papers in the wrong folders or papers from the wrong class into a folder that’s not for that class, at least if it’s stray in the backpack or it’s in the queue you can reorganize it. So I’d probably start with that. I also talked a lot about minimalism. I would not keep stuff that does not need to be kept. If you’re making copies of important stuff that’s one thing, and I would have an archive. I talk a lot about an archive, but I would not keep anything that does not need to be kept. I would trash it if it’s completed work and it’s been graded and the teachers put in the Gradebook, done. Get rid of it. If you’re afraid they’ll need it to study for a test, 99% of the time they don’t because the teacher will give a study guide. So that’s the big misconception a lot of times. If they really do that’s one issue, but mostly I want them to have 5 to 10 papers in any given folder at any given time. I wanted to be pretty current work. I don’t want them to have a bunch of old stuff in there. So I would help with that. “He said he doesn’t know where the lost things go.” He probably really doesn’t know where they go. “He’s missing an important worksheet due tomorrow.” I would be advocating for him, emailing the teacher. A lot of teachers will put this stuff online so that you can get it. So I’d be scouring the teacher’s websites. I’d be emailing them like heck. I wouldn’t be emailing them long emails. I’d email short bullet emails. “We need support. We need help. My kid is struggling with executive function, please support us. Can you please help us with copies. our kid just loses them.” Every year I get it a kid or two who I start working with and I start going through the backpack, and I start pulling everything out, and I noticed there are some papers where there’s like three copies of the exact same thing and none of them are done. And I say, “Why do you have three copies of this?” And they say, “Oh well I lost one so I asked the teacher for another one, then asked for another one.” So that’s these kids. That’s the kiddo you have. And so those teachers that are making all those copies, they’re really nice to do that. But if they can email it to you, that’s a lot easier. If your child can take a picture of it or the teacher can take a picture of it, that’s a lot easier also. And if the teacher already keeps it online on their site, that’s the best because then everything gets covered and that there is no problem. “So how do we prevent him from losing so many papers?” I would say use the queue. Do daily overhauls for now. For probably the first 8 weeks of school, I would do a daily overhaul with or without him. I’d reorganize. Sometimes I would do it with him, but sometimes I would just do it for him. He does not have the skill. It’s not going to magically appear. So as far as punishing him, the word punishment, I wouldn’t punish him because it’s not going to change the behavior. Is it a ‘can’t or won’t it?’ It sounds like he can’t. He does not have the executive function skills to do what he is being asked to do. So punishing him is not going to change that behavior. Now consequences, there’s a time and a place for a natural appropriate consequence that’s going to make a connection between what’s going on here. It might heighten his awareness and change the behavior. So try it, you know, I had a mom recently saying that she threatened to go into her middle schools’ School in the classroom to deal with it, in front of everybody, if he didn’t do certain things and you know, that’s an appropriate consequence. It’s like I said, she was so fed up. She’s going to go in there and regardless of how embarrassing it is for him, she’s going to get what needs to be gotten. And that has affected this kid, not that that’s going to work for everybody. But you have to really think is that an appropriate thing? You’re not doing it out of anger, you’re drinking out of this frustration obviously, but not at anger towards your child. You’re trying to support your child. If you come at it from that frame and you like, “Look, I’m going to do this. If you don’t do X, Y, and Z this needs to happen.” It might help, but it sounds like this kiddo really does need to build the system. So simple folder system, a simple queue system, really being on top of them every day for a couple of months. So I hope that helps a little bit, and it’s a really complicated issue and I wish I could be hands-on with the kiddos so that I could help you but that’s you know, I just can’t. But check out my course, that course video on the queue, and that might help too. Okay, good luck. Take care.